


a midsummer night's meme

by astralscrivener



Series: modern au: squad up universe [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Multi, Team as Family, Texting, everyone is LGBTQ+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 79,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralscrivener/pseuds/astralscrivener
Summary: kogayne:half of my heart is in havana :(takashmeoutside:i thought you told me lance was from varaderoSame group chat, new shenanigans.Or,the team's final summer before Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Shay begin college, as Pidge navigates the waters of young love, Keith and Shiro deal with family issues, Lance has a trip to Cuba, and more.sequel tosquad up.





	1. SUMMER SQUAD

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S HEEEEEEEEERE :)
> 
> sorry not sorry to anyone who had a heart attack in the final author's note of SU before i mentioned the sequel ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the first saturday of the summer.

**_memers_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_memers_ ** _ to  _ **_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** it’s been almost 36 hours and it still doesn’t feel like we graduated

**lanceylance:** like i feel like it’s a normal saturday and on monday we’re gonna be back at school and imma be sitting in antok’s class listening to someone making fun of him for being a bruno mars fanboy

**hunkerdunker:** i feel like summer’s started but like

**hunkerdunker:** i already feel like there’s homework i’m avoiding and that come the end of august we’ll be terriers again

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW DO WE STOP TIME THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME THIS EARLY

**carrierpidgeon:** LANCE. HUNK. IT’S 3 IN THE MORNING. WHY ARE YOU UP.

**lanceylance:** WELL WHY ARE /YOU/ UP

**carrierpidgeon:** ...i fell asleep like really early and woke up like half an hour ago and now i can’t sleep

**hunkerdunker:** oof but also same i’ve been up for an hour just

**hunkerdunker:** sitting in the dark

**hunkerdunker:** trying and failing to sleep

**hunkerdunker:** this is what bingeing a tv show at 3 in the morning is doing to us

**lanceylance:** so if no one’s sleeping can we do something

**carrierpidgeon:** isn’t keith at ur house rn

**lanceylance:** um i can wake him up very easily

**lanceylance:** :O BUT ALSO WHILE I HAVE HIM HERE

_ (5) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** he’s precious, look how cute he is while he’s sleeping

**carrierpidgeon:** if i have to put up with this the entire summer i’m blocking u

**lanceylance:** nah just occasionally

**hunkerdunker:** lance should make a separate group chat titled “soft pictures of keith” and just add whoever wants to be there

**lanceylance:** hunk wtf that sounds so weird think about that for a sec

**hunkerdunker:** ...wow yeah never mind

**carrierpidgeon:** trust me i’m pretty sure lance would be the only one in that group chat

**hunkerdunker:** mmmm not much of a group chat then is it

**lanceylance:** you know what fINE MORE FOR ME i could look at nice pictures of keith all day every day

**lanceylance:** because I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

**hunkerdunker:** WE KNOW

**carrierpidgeon:** WE KNOW

**hunkerdunker:** u love his mullet and his nice sparkly eyes and his muscles and the way he can throw a knife just like that one guy did in divergent and how he loves and protects u and how hot he looks in his jackets but he looks hottest in /yours/

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUCK

**hunkerdunker:** THERE’S A REASON I’M LANCE’S BEST FRIEND: I PUT UP WITH HIS PINING ASS

**carrierpidgeon:** but is it still pining if they’re in a relationship

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**lanceylance:** i will never stop pining after him eVER

**lanceylance:** anyway back to my original question before i got sidetracked thinking about the love of my whole entire life,

**hunkerdunker:** [groan]

**lanceylance:** shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** we should do something

**carrierpidgeon:** like what

**lanceylance:** mario kart online tournament, just us three vs the cpus

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought we were waking up keith

**lanceylance:** listen,,, i was /gonna/

**lanceylance:** but he looks so soft and peaceful when he’s asleep, i think i should just leave him like this and not disturb him

**lanceylance:** i mean did u SEE THE PHOTOS HE’S A FUCKING ANGEL I WEEP :,,,,)

**hunkerdunker:** whipped

**lanceylance:** SHURT UR FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** shurt

**hunkerdunker:** shurt

**lanceylance:** i’m really.../shurt/ by these callouts

**hunkerdunker:** oh no now he’s punning at us

**lanceylance:** SUFFER THE PUNISHMENT

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**carrierpidgeon:** ARE WE DOING MARIO KART OR NOT

**hunkerdunker:** keith’s asleep which means one of us can finally win at rainbow road

**hunkerdunker:** i’d say “one of us can finally steal his title as king of rainbow road” but that requires beating him and no one’s ever come as close as pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** :)

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll kick his ass one of these days

**carrierpidgeon:** might have to 1v1 him but it’ll happen

**lanceylance:** SO ARE WE DOING THIS OR NOT

**carrierpidgeon:** hell yes we are

**lanceylance:** dibs on cat mario

**carrierpidgeon:** FURRY

**lanceylance:** YOU TWO WERE FURRIES AT ONE POINT TOO SHUT UR FUCKS

**carrierpidgeon:** -_- mmmm anyhoo toad

**hunkerdunker:** I GOT WALUIGI

**lanceylance:** ur finally abandoning ur main

**carrierpidgeon:** how could u do shy guy dirty like this

**hunkerdunker:** no one else is around to judge me for picking the memeist character

**carrierpidgeon:** i know that’s supposed to read as “memey-ist” but i read it as “meme-ist”

**lanceylance:** ...i read “meme-iced” like “heist”

**hunkerdunker:** mmm i’ll figure out a better spelling later

**lanceylance:** also, hunk, buddy, not to rain on your parade or anything

**lanceylance:** but uhhh wE’RE IN THE MAIN GROUP CHAT

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** and i’ve already taken screenshots so there’s no point in trying to delete those

**hunkerdunker:** F U C K

**lanceylance:** [cups hands around mouth] HUNK IS A MEMER JUST LIKE THE REST OF US NEVER BE FOOLED

**hunkerdunker:** dead to me

**hunkerdunker:** watch ur back on the track

**lanceylance:** BRING

**lanceylance:** IT

**lanceylance:** ON.

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**takashmeoutside:** what did i just wake up to

**mattata:** hunk being exposed apparently

**kogayne:** /why are there pictures of me/

**kogayne:** LANCE

**kogayne:** hold on let me wake his ass up

**allurable:** did they fall back asleep

**kogayne:** well, gonna say yes, seeing as lance is passed out on the floor and the switch is asleep in his hands

**kogayne:** hmmm wait he’s asleep lemme just

_ (8) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he looks 10x better than me when he’s sleeping but whatever

**allurable:** he’s drooling

**kogayne:** the love of my life, everyone

**mattata:** lmao just found pidge in a similar state

_ (1) photo from  _ **_mattata_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** that can’t be comfortable

**mattata:** it’s probably not should i wake her up

**kogayne:** no

**shayfromstatefarm:** no

**allurable:** yes?

**takashmeoutside:** mmmm

**takashmeoutside:** nah

**kogayne:** she’s coming for my title as king of rainbow road

**kogayne:** let her wake up stiff and sore

**shayfromstatefarm:** keith is out here being ruthless

**kogayne:** nobody takes my title

**kogayne:** (•_•) ( •_•) >⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

**kogayne:** nobody

**takashmeoutside:** and on today’s installment of “keith spends way too much time with his boyfriend,”

**kogayne:** never too much time with lance

**kogayne:** n e v e r

**takashmeoutside:** never say never

**mattata:** OWO WHAT’S THAT

**kogayne:** #spotthefurry

**mattata:** ...mmmmm do i take this out on shiro

**takashmeoutside:** nOW WAIT A MINUTE LET’S NOT DO ANYTHING DRASTIC HERE

**mattata:** OH BUT KASHI  >:)

**allurable:** [cups hands around mouth] SHIRO HAD A JUSTIN BIEBER PHASE SOPHOMORE YEAR OF COLLEGE 

**takashmeoutside:** OKAY NO LISTEN

**kogayne:** wait did he just

**kogayne:** not deny it

**takashmeoutside:** HE WAS AN ICON OKAY

**allurable:** also i have ancient videos floating around my laptop of matt and shiro doing a duet to baby on karaoke night ;)

**mattata:** ALLURA I TRUSTED YOU

**allurable:** ONE MOMENT PLEASE

**kogayne:** i need to wake lance up for this

**mattata:** PIDGE CAN SLEEP FOR THIS

**shayfromstatefarm:** LET ME JUST SPAM HUNK’S PHONE

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAKE UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAKE UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAKE UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNKYYYYY

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK

**shayfromstatefarm:** WAKE

**shayfromstatefarm:** UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** RETFNTGRE

**shayfromstatefarm:** WRGFE

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK

**shayfromstatefarm:** sfgdf

**shayfromstatefarm:** frdg

**shayfromstatefarm:** sgdrwf

**shayfromstatefarm:** dfdbsea

**hunkerdunker:** WHART’ HPSANEING

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** GROUP CHAT

**hunkerdunker:** AM I BEING ROASTED FOR BEING A MEME

**shayfromstatefarm:** no we been knew we’re roasting shatt

**hunkerdunker:** :O

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** I HEARD WE’RE ROASTING SHATT

**mattata:** AH THE MEMER IS HERE

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY U LIED TO ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** ONLY MILDLY

**shayfromstatefarm:** I BEEN KNEW

**lanceylance:** I HEARD JUSTIN BIEBER I’M HERE—

**lanceylance:** wAIT WAIT FUCK WRONG CHAT WRONG CHAT

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT CHAT WAS THAT /SUPPOSED TO BE FOR/

**lanceylance:** UHHHHHHH

**lanceylance:** YOU KNOW WHAT

**lanceylance:** FUCK IT

**lanceylance:** BABY WAS A /BOP/ THERE I SAID IT

**kogayne:** oh my god

**lanceylance:** KEITH SHUT UR FUCK MR. “I HAVE AN AVERSION TO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING MAINSTREAM”

**hunkerdunker:** i thought he was an emo but u just described a hipster

**shayfromstatefarm:** the flannel...the thing for photography…

**lanceylance:** the glasses no one knows about

**shayfromstatefarm:** THE WHAT

**lanceylance:** MY BOYFRIEND NEEDS GLASSES AND HE HAS CONTACTS BUT HE ALSO HEQWRGGE

**kogayne:** yeah hi lance was saying absolutely nothing :)

**hunkerdunker:** wait wait wait i’m looking up “traits of a hipster”

**hunkerdunker:** BOXES KEITH CHECKS:

**kogayne:** hunk shush :)

**hunkerdunker:** FLANNEL, DENIM, PHOTOGRAPHY (SPECIFICALLY POLAROIDS),

**carrierpidgeon:** AH YES AWAKE IN TIME FOR THE EXPOSING OF KEITH, SHIRO, AND MATT

**kogayne:** shhh nO GO BACK TO SLEEP

**shayfromstatefarm:** DIDN’T LANCE GET HIM A POLAROID CAMERA FOR CHRISTMAS

**hunkerdunker:** NON-MAINSTREAM MUSIC, ALWAYS HAS A BACKPACK, HAS A THING FOR NATURE,

**hunkerdunker:** AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:  / I N D E N I A L /

**kogayne:** nO I’M NOT A HIPSTER I’M JUST EMO

**carrierpidgeon:** WE GOT HIM TO ADMIT IT

**kogayne:** :)))))))))))))))))))

**kogayne:** WAIT FUCK THREGFWGBRERWFVD

**lanceylance:** HI I HAVE MY PHONE BACK

**lanceylance:** IDK HOW I’VE NEVER SENT THESE BUT

**lanceylance:** PICTURES OF KEITH IN GLASSES GOTTA GO BYEEEE

_ (7) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...wow they’re even the thick black frames

**hunkerdunker:** i can’t believe,,

**kogayne:** i am going to crawl in a ditch and die now

**lanceylance:** he’s so cute i’m so lucky just look at him  <3333 my heart goes uwu

**carrierpidgeon:** what happened to me only occasionally having to put up with photos of keith in the gc

**lanceylance:** listen,,, he’s precious, so near and dear to my heart,,

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**allurable:** I’M BACK I FOUND THE VIDEO

_ (1) video from  _ **_allurable_ **

**kogayne:** ...hold on wait i’m listening to the lyrics for the first time

**lanceylance:** YOU DON’T KNOW THE LYRICS

**kogayne:** I SPENT FOURTH THROUGH SEVENTH GRADE DROWNING HIM OUT WITH MY “EMO” HOLD ON

 

**_kogayne > mattata_ **

**kogayne:** so i was listening to the lyrics

**kogayne:** and i changed the pronouns

**mattata:** shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

**kogayne:** YOU WERE SINGING ABOUT SHIRO /TO HIS FACE/

**mattata:** you know, in all the years since college, i think you’re the first person to point that out

**kogayne:** oh my god i am

**kogayne:** so so sorry

**kogayne:** but hOLY SHIT

**kogayne:** H O L Y  S H I T

**mattata:** shut up mr “let me sing satisfied right after i break up with rolo and watch lance from a distance with my heartbreak in my eyes”

**kogayne:** shut up shut up shut up shut up

**mattata:** “AT LEAST I’LL KEEP HIS EYES IN MY LIFE—”

**kogayne:** SHUT UR MOUTH

**mattata:** my mouth is shut but my fingers,,,

**kogayne:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**mattata:** ...IS THIS LANCE OR KEITH

**kogayne:** no, still keith, if lance saw this conversation i’d have to throw my phone out the window

**kogayne:** wow we were both messes those years weren’t we

**mattata:** pining messes

**kogayne:** smh

**kogayne:** at least everything worked out

**mattata:** m o o d

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**allurable:** keith where did u go

**kogayne:** nowhere

**kogayne:** absolutely nowhere

**lanceylance:** but what did the lyrics have to do with anything mr “i’m texting outside the gc”

**kogayne:** shh absolutely nothing

**allurable:** TEXTING OUTSIDE THE GC, WHAT

**kogayne:** shhhhhhhhhhh lance shut ur fuck

**mattata:** hi he was texting me

[ _ (1) link _ ](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/justinbieber/baby.html) _ from  _ **_mattata_ **

**mattata:** pay very close attention to the lyrics

**takashmeoutside:** ...holy shit

**takashmeoutside:** OH MY GOD MATT

**mattata:** :)))

**mattata:** LMAO I’M OVER IT NOW BUT THAT WAS OOF

**takashmeoutside:** MATT I’M SO SORRY 

**allurable:** WELL THIS TOOK A TURN

**takashmeoutside:** MATT I’M PICKING YOU UP FOR WORK TODAY OKAY

**mattata:** KASHI WAIT NO

**takashmeoutside:** TOO LATE

**mattata:** ...ALRIGHT

 

**_allurable > mattata_ **

**allurable:** MATT I’M SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY EXPOSED U OHMYOGD

**mattata:** IT’S OKAY I SWEAR

**allurable:** WHEN DO U AND KASHI GET OUT OF WORK

**mattata:** LIKE 10??? PM???

**allurable:** HOW WIPED OUT WILL U BE

**mattata:** IS THIS UR WAY OF ASKING US ON A DATE

**mattata:** BC IT’S SUMMER AND WE DON’T HAVE WORK TOMORROW WE’RE GOOD

**allurable:** DATE NIGHT

**mattata:** KASHI’S IN AND SO AM I

**allurable:** BET

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**swirnupanddown:** hi random question

**swirnupanddown:** um

**swirnupanddown:** next weekend

**swirnupanddown:** there’s a pride march a few towns over

_ (1) map from  _ **_swirnupanddown_ **

_ (1) link from  _ **_swirnupanddown_ **

**swirnupanddown:** does anyone wanna go

**swirnupanddown:** bc like, i don’t wanna be going alone

**swirnupanddown:** and this group chat is full of the gays

**madplax:** I’LL GO

**floronawiththecorona:** i gotta check if i’m free but i wanna go

**blumpyfumpy:** ^^

**swirnupanddown:** wow leave it to my best friends to reply first

**swirnupanddown:** anyone else

**floronawiththecorona:** :O ARE WE NOT /GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU/

**swirnupanddown:** no shush i love u i’m just seeing if anyone else wants to go

**lotoreal:** i would love to, but i’ll pass

**lotoreal:** with my luck, i’ll somehow end up on tv, and my father will find it and hunt me down

**swirnupanddown:** ...well

**lotoreal:** my apologies

**swirnupanddown:** it’s alright!

**dinezor:** I WAS BORN READY I’LL GO

**acxalutelynot:** i’ll go

**acxalutelynot:** if only to keep ez from spamming my phone for the next 20 minutes till i make a decision

**dinezor:** <3333

**acxalutelynot:** hmm  <3 i guess

**dinezor:** wOW

**sippinganartini:** i too will be passing on this

**sippinganartini:** i’ve got stuff going on next weekend

**sippinganartini:** several grad parties, my general aversion to large groups in public places,

**swirnupanddown:** that’s fair

**zethridofmyproblems:** I’M GOING

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m with lotor and narti, i’ve got grad parties in the family next weekend

**shayfromstatefarm:** i would otherwise, sorry

**hunkerdunker:** ...SHIT I’VE GOT GRAD PARTIES /TONIGHT/

**lanceylance:** :O WHERE WERE U INVITED THAT I WASN’T

**hunkerdunker:** culinary kids

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** anyhoo i can go to pride!!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL YEAR I CLEARED MY SCHEDULE

**emandem:** i can go :)

**carrierpidgeon:** let me just reschedule everything else i have going on this weekend—

**emandem:** :D

**sarahahaha:** disgusting

**sarahahaha:** i’m going if only to supervise them [squints]

**emandem:** >:P

**kogayne:** i’ll go

**lanceylance:** <33333

**kogayne:** <3

**sarahahaha:** i guess i have to supervise them too 

**kogayne:** shh we can handle ourselves

**lanceylance:** we’re a good team

**kogayne:** the best team

**hunkerdunker:** anyway i also have grad parties that weekend

**hunkerdunker:** apologies x 10

**swirnupanddown:** that’s okay, now i’ve got a solid number of people suddenly going

**swirnupanddown:** how are we gonna work out rides

**sarahahaha:** i’ve got the baby sister

**emandem:** i’m not a baby i am a strong independent woman

**sarahahaha:** shut up ur like 12

**emandem:** I’M SIXTEEN

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m having flashbacks to the little mermaid

**kogayne:** i’ve got lance

**carrierpidgeon:** go with emily and sarah...go with lance and keith…

**kogayne:** ur coming with me

**sarahahaha:** ur going with them

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS APHOBIA IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE GONNA DO ANYTHING

**kogayne:** UR COMING WITH ME

**sarahahaha:** UR GOING WITH THEM

**emandem:** biphobia—

**sarahahaha:** /I’M BI/

**emandem:** [louder] BIPHOBIA—

**sarahahaha:** TRAGIC

**swirnupanddown:** anyway plax flor blum carpooool?

**floronawiththecorona:** i’m driving!

**madplax:** sit down ur gay and can’t drive

**floronawiththecorona:** distinguished lesbian, can too drive

**madplax:** mmm fine

**lanceylance:** in which case /why am i letting keith drive he’s a disaster--/

**kogayne:** ur just as much of a disaster shh

**acxalutelynot:** ez, zeth, i’ve got you two

**dinezor:** <3333333

**zethridofmyproblems:** bet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see y'all in the next one :P


	2. and we've hit a klance overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS LITERALLY ALL KLANCE WITH LIKE, A TINY PINCH OF HUNAY AND BROGANES, AND A TABLESPOON OF LANCE-MAMA MCCLAIN
> 
> I MISS THEM SO MUCH THIS IS HOW I COPE BYE

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** goooood morning starlight :D

**kogayne:** ...mmm good morning?

**lanceylance:** are u asking me or telling me

**kogayne:** stfu u sound like a teacher

**lanceylance:** yes, of course, i’m gonna teach u how to spend a full day taking care of two young children

**kogayne:** i mean i used to babysit pidge but go off i guess

**lanceylance:** hush there’s like a 2 year age diff there, this is different

**lanceylance:** u can’t just hand these kids a controller and then kick their ass in call of duty to placate them for four hours

**kogayne:** why u gotta call me out like this

**lanceylance:** boyfriend/husband deal

**lanceylance:** I DO IT WITH LOVE

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY since u seem to not know it IS, in fact, a good morning, i shall inform you why

**kogayne:** are u finally proposing to me

**lanceylance:** hush we agreed i had to turn 18 first, wait another month and a half

**kogayne:** i mean,,

**kogayne:** ur almost there

**lanceylance:** if u keep giving me bad ideas soon enough i’ll act on them

**kogayne:** :o

**kogayne:** marrying me? a bad idea? i’m hURT

**lanceylance:** i meant doing it before i turned 18 doofus

**lanceylance:** if i turn 18 there’s no parental consent needed (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** well shit u got me there

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY the marriage talk goes right along with the kid talk

**kogayne:** are we adopting a child? bc i can do it legally

**lanceylance:** WHY ARE U SO INTO THE MARRIAGE THING TODAY

**kogayne:** bc ur soft and i love u

**lanceylance:** wh-WHO ARE U AND WHERE’S THE REAL KEITH

**kogayne:** shut up

**lanceylance:** ah there he is

**kogayne:** sometimes i hate u

**lanceylance:** no u don’t

**kogayne:** [sigh] no i don’t

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** my parents and emely and her husband are going out of town for the day /and/ the night

**kogayne:** sorry now all i’m thinking about is when the day met the night

**lanceylance:** EMO

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** anyway continue

**lanceylance:** yeah so emely decided it was a good idea to put me in charge of her kids for 24 hours and my mom was like “u know, why don’t u ask a friend *wink wink nudge nudge* to come over and help and keep u company”

**lanceylance:** and then em was like “she means your boyfriend”

**kogayne:** emely Knows

**lanceylance:** yeah i know

**lanceylance:** except then she proceeded to tease me about “keith and lance watching two kids, almost like a married couple” for ten minutes and my mom fREAKIN JOINED HER

**kogayne:** oh god i can’t mention this to shiro

**lanceylance:** ...so does that mean you’re in

**lanceylance:** will u pls help me watch my tiny niece and nephew

**lanceylance:** and sleep over

**lanceylance:** and let me take as many pictures of u with children as i want so later i can fantasize about that being u with kids of our own

**kogayne:** it’s too early for u to be this cute

**lanceylance:** never too early to be cute

**lanceylance:** but pls

**lanceylance:** pls tell me ur free and willing to help me watch clara and javier

**lanceylance:** they love u

**lanceylance:** /i/ love u

**lanceylance:** pls i’ll even get on my knees and beg if i have to

**kogayne:** getting on ur knees to ask a question?? mmmm sounds suspiciously like a proposal to me

**lanceylance:** STOP BEING CUTE U ASSHOLE

**kogayne:** NEVER

**kogayne:** but also i dunno,,, gotta see if my schedule is clear,,

**lanceylance:** WHAT DO U POSSIBLY HAVE GOING ON

**kogayne:** U NEVER KNOW

**lanceylance:** BABE I HAVE UR SCHEDULE MEMORIZED /I KNOW UR FREE U FUCKER/

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** yeah, i guess i’ll come over

**lanceylance:** u /guess/

**lanceylance:** u /love/ coming over and hanging out with my family

**kogayne:** mmmm 

**kogayne:** u right

**kogayne:** love u and ur family, love how safe u make me feel,, mm good shit

**lanceylance:** v honored to be the one who makes u feel safe

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** what time do u want me over

**lanceylance:** keith

**lanceylance:** darling, sweetiepie, starlight, day to my night, booboo bear,

**kogayne:** BOOBOO BEAR?

**lanceylance:** SNOOKUMS, HONEYBUNCHES, DEARIE,

**kogayne:** okay now dearie just makes u sound like a sus old lady who gives out candy and ur not sure if it’s actually candy or some kind of poisoned/spelled food to make u susceptible to her will

**lanceylance:** that was really specific are u okay

**kogayne:** ,,,i need to stop hanging out with pidge

**kogayne:** and u

**kogayne:** oh maybe i shouldn’t—

**lanceylance:** -_- caPTAIN DOOFUS, ASSBUTT, BANE OF MY EXISTENCE,

**kogayne:** thorn in my side, 

**lanceylance:** reason i don’t sleep at night,

**kogayne:** bc ur too busy thinking about how much u love me?

**lanceylance:** u mOTHERFUCKER I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THAT OUT

**kogayne:** proof i know u bc we spend,, a lot of time together

**kogayne:** and anyway u know i’m always down for spending more

**kogayne:** so continue

**lanceylance:** humph about tIME

**kogayne:** WHAT DID U WANNA SAY

**lanceylance:** I WAS GONNA SAY

**lanceylance:** that u should know better

**kogayne:** mmmmm?

**lanceylance:** the door is open literally any time

**lanceylance:** if ur feeling daring, so is my bedroom window

**lanceylance:** show up whenever u want, i can even come get u if u so desire

**lanceylance:** andimeanpersonallyi’dloveforutocomenoworASAPbutit’suptoyou

**kogayne:** :) ur cute

**lanceylance:** ur the fuckin cutest

**kogayne:** why are u talking to urself

**lanceylance:** why are u talking to urself

**kogayne:** mmmmmmm

**kogayne:** i just need to shower i’ll go quick bc god i love u

**kogayne:** and i wanna see ur face as soon as possible so i can kiss it

**lanceylance:** STOP BEING CUTE THAT’S MY JOB

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** STOP BEING SAFE AND A BLESSING IN MY LIFE THEN WE’LL TALK

**lanceylance:** WH

**lanceylance:** YOU

**lanceylance:** HOW DARE

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** i love making my boyfriend flustered

**takashmeoutside:** [headdesk]

**kogayne:** I HAVEN’T DONE THIS IN A WHILE SHUT UR FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** IT’S BEEN A FEW DAYS

**kogayne:** YEAH THAT’S A WHILE FOR ME TO NOT GUSH ABOUT LANCE TO U

**kogayne:** anyway i’m going to his house for the day and then spending the night so u have the house to urself

**takashmeoutside:** u mean i can finally have matt and allura over for once instead of going to one of their places

**kogayne:** I MEAN IF U WANNA PUT IT THAT WAY THEN YES

**takashmeoutside:** any specific reason you’re going to lance’s

**kogayne:** actually, this time, /yes/

**takashmeoutside:** oh?

**kogayne:** his parents and sister and brother-in-law are going out of town and they left lance in charge of clara and javier

**takashmeoutside:** ...and he’s letting /u/ go over

**kogayne:** I’VE BABYSAT PIDGE BEFORE

**takashmeoutside:** YES AND SHE’S A GREMLIN

**takashmeoutside:** /SHE GOT IT FROM YOU/

**kogayne:** SHE GOT IT FROM MATT OPEN UR EYES

**kogayne:** ANY. WAY. MRS MCCLAIN AND EMELY /INSISTED/ I COME OVER

**takashmeoutside:** oh really now

**kogayne:** yes, they did

**kogayne:** they teased lance mercilessly but yes they did

**takashmeoutside:** i need to spend more time with them

**kogayne:** ...sHHH NO U DON’T

**kogayne:** anyway tldr lance needs help taking care of his niece and nephew so he wants me to come over and pretend we’re raising our own family

**takashmeoutside:** u are both,, so whipped

**kogayne:** so are u for mallura shush

**takashmeoutside:** :P is there anything else i need to know

**kogayne:** I LOVE LANCE AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM GUSHING ABOUT HIM

**takashmeoutside:** I SAID SOMETHING I /NEED/ TO KNOW

**takashmeoutside:** /AND I ALREADY KNEW THAT/

 

**_lanceylance > hunkerdunker_ **

**lanceylance:** STOP MY BOYFRIEND HE’S BEING AN ASSHOLE

**hunkerdunker:** [squints] is this you being dramatic or did he finally fuck up for real

**lanceylance:** DRAMAT wait what do u mean finally fuck up for real

**hunkerdunker:** i’m waiting for the day u come screeching to me about keith being an asshole because he actually did something bad

**lanceylance:** nope no nononononono noooope i’ve told you before if we ever get into a big fight we’re not dragging other people into it

**lanceylance:** and even if i was angry i’d never actually call him something like an asshole bc he doesn’t deserve that

**hunkerdunker:** well then

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

**lanceylance:** AND I’LL LOVE HIM EVEN WHEN HE’S BEING A DOOFUS 

**lanceylance:** AND ANYWAY HE’S MAKING ME FLUSTERED MAKE HIM STOP

**hunkerdunker:** is he being cute again

**lanceylance:** THE FUCKING CUTEST AND I CAN’T TAKE IT

**lanceylance:** AND I INVITED HIM OVER TO HELP ME WATCH CLARA AND JAVIER

**hunkerdunker:** why would you do that to yourself

**lanceylance:** because i needed the help and i fucking love keith and i wanna spend as much time with him as possible between now and the cuba trip

**hunkerdunker:** aND U DIDN’T INVITE ME

**lanceylance:** hush we have plans for sa

**lanceylance:** ohmygod you’re not going you have grad parties

**lanceylance:** OHMY GOD HUNK

**lanceylance:** ARE U FREE LIKE, THURSDAY

**hunkerdunker:** YES I AM

**lanceylance:** U AND ME

**lanceylance:** IT’S AN US DAY

**hunkerdunker:** BET

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GOTTA GO KEITH JUST GOT HERE AND EMELY’S DROPPING THE KIDS OFF SOON BYEEE

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**hunkerdunker:** quick, keith and lance are gonna be busy all day, let’s gossip about them

**lanceylance:** u ASS they aren’t here YET

**hunkerdunker:** literally why is ur go-to insult always a variation of “ass”

**lanceylance:** perhaps i like butts

**carrierpidgeon:** perhaps there’s a butt he likes in particular

**kogayne:** wqefgrwgrfwfgdwfedbegrdgregwewfedgwesghrtfjgyhgfesdfa

**lanceylance:** well, i mean, he doerthwtrhetwrgd

**takashmeoutside:** keith thank u for sparing us

**allurable:** lmao did he just take lance’s phone

**hunkerdunker:** the fact that no one questions that they’re just

**hunkerdunker:** in the same place

**takashmeoutside:** whipped

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck we’ve been over this granola bar

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re always in the same place

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** because perhaps i have some sort of affection for lance and also like physical affection

**takashmeoutside:** literally any of us could provide that

**kogayne:** mmm yeah but i like lance’s best (⌐■_■) 

**lanceylance:** (⌐■_■) 

**lanceylance:** ALSO KEITH HAS A NICE BUTT

**kogayne:** I GAVE U UR PHONE BACK FOR THE SUNGLASSES NOT THE BUTT

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** anyway gonna crawl in a ditch and die now—

**lanceylance:** and by that he means we have to go bc we have children to take care of

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh thank god i check my phone now, right when they’re leaving

**lanceylance:** :O

**lanceylance:** HOW DARE

**lanceylance:** THIS ISN’T OVER

**shayfromstatefarm:** is it too late in our fantasy world to make my kingdom fight urs instead of ally

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah i don’t think he’s gonna be answering for a while

**carrierpidgeon:** bc of both children and betrayal

**hunkerdunker:** smh

**mattata:** DID I MISS ANOTHER LANCE ROAST WHILE I WAS CLEANING THE MEN’S ROOM

**carrierpidgeon:** do ur managers hate u

**mattata:** olia just. likes to make things

**mattata:** difficult

**mattata:** we have a sort of game going

**carrierpidgeon:** ...hmmmm

**allurable:** and who’s winning

**mattata:** psh me obviously

**takashmeoutside:** 31-17 in olia’s favor

**mattata:** u bitch

**takashmeoutside:** i’m a bad bitch u can’t kill me

**allurable:** ...did he just

**carrierpidgeon:** SCREENSHOTTED

**hunkerdunker:** SCREENSHOTTED

**shayfromstatefarm:** SCREENSHOTTED

**allurable:** SCREENSHOTTED

**mattata:** FINALLY, HE REVEALS HIMSELF

**carrierpidgeon:** there’s the bad influence from my childhood!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** shiro? a bad influence?

**carrierpidgeon:** when i was very, very young

**mattata:** HE WAS AN AWFUL INFLUENCE SOMETIMES

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe i did that,, oh my god

**takashmeoutside:** wrgeqrsodfjdgrthdgwrgji

**carrierpidgeon:** how do u think keith became the way he is? wasn’t matt’s doing!!

**mattata:** what did u all expect from takashi shirogamer, minecraft extraordinaire

**mattata:** anyone who says shiro was a perfect gentleman even from childhood is a fucking liar and never knew shiro

**takashmeoutside:** matt shut uuuuuuuuuup

**mattata:** NEVER

**allurable:** he and matt were as bad as klance in hs we’ve told u this before

**shayfromstatefarm:** then why were /u/ so surprised

**allurable:** i was more surprised he slipped in the group chat

**mattata:** shiro was a memer all the way at the start but then once he actually had to raise keith he had to be a Good Example

**allurable:** shiro, as soon as lance and keith started dating, and he discovered lance was a huge memer: “he can never know. never. ever.”

**takashmeoutside:** /WELL NOW HE KNOWS/

**lanceylance:** don’t worry i’ve been taking screens this whole time ;)

**takashmeoutside:** THEN WHO’S WATCHING THE KIDS

**lanceylance:** mama is busy talking to keith and fretting over him

**takashmeoutside:** WHAT IS SHE FRETTING OVER

**lanceylance:** she just loves him

**lanceylance:** ...andalsofather’sdaywasthisweekendandsheknowswhereuguyswere

**lanceylance:** ...hello

**lanceylance:** YEAH WELL THAT KILLED THE GROUP CHAT IMMA GO

 

**_hunkerdunker > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i’m bored

**shayfromstatefarm:** hi bored,

**hunkerdunker:** okaY NO 

**shayfromstatefarm:** U CAN’T RUN HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** yES I CAN

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHY ARE U BORED

**hunkerdunker:** I’VE GOT NOTHING TO DO AND WE’RE NOT ON TODAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** WANNA GO ON A DATE THEN

**shayfromstatefarm:** IS THAT WHY U TEXTED ME

**hunkerdunker:** MAYBE

**shayfromstatefarm:** ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR YOU WANTED TO DO TODAY

**hunkerdunker:** UHH NOT REALLY? DID U HAVE ANYTHING IN MIND?

**shayfromstatefarm:** THIS IS OUT OF THE BLUE IDK

**hunkerdunker:** WANNA GO DRIVE AROUND UNTIL WE THINK OF SOMETHING

**shayfromstatefarm:** SURE

**hunkerdunker:** U GOOD IF I PIC U UP IN HALF AN HOUR?

**shayfromstatefarm:** YEAH

**hunkerdunker:** ALRIGHT I’LL SEE U THEN

**shayfromstatefarm:** SEE U THEN

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** so

**lanceylance:** that thunderstorm

**lanceylance:** was

**lanceylance:** something else

**mamamcclain:** are clara and javier alright?

**lanceylance:** oh yeah they had a blast actually

**mamamcclain:** good to hear!

**mamamcclain:** how bad was the storm?

**lanceylance:** i mean, not awful

**lanceylance:** a couple big lightning flashes, some pretty nasty thunder, but otherwise they were okay

**mamamcclain:** then what did you mean by the storm being “something else?”

**lanceylance:** mama i’m in love i’m like

**lanceylance:** mamaaaa

**lanceylance:** i’m in the bathroom CRYING

**mamamcclain:** oh dear.

**mamamcclain:** is this good crying or bad crying?

**lanceylance:** ANY CRYING IS BAD CRYING BC MY FACE GETS SPLOTCHY

**mamamcclain:** lance.

**lanceylance:** FINE IT’S GOOD CRYING

**lanceylance:** mama

**lanceylance:** i’ve said it before but i mean it this time he’s the one ohmyogd

**mamamcclain:** oh.

**mamamcclain:** this is about keith again? really?

**lanceylance:** MAMA PLS HUNK WON’T LET ME GUSH

**mamamcclain:** you gush about him a lot.

**lanceylance:** mama

**lanceylance:** he looks so good with children

**lanceylance:** LOOK AT THIS

_ (5) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** he 

**lanceylance:** he figured out how to comfort them and freaking ran with it and??? HE’S SO GOOD

**lanceylance:** MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CAN’T

**lanceylance:** HE’S!!! THE ONE!!!!!

**lanceylance:** I WANT TO RAISE A FAMILY WITH HIM HE’S A NATURAL AND WERBRGWRGW

**mamamcclain:** are you still in the bathroom?

**lanceylance:** MAYBE

**lanceylance:** DOESN’T MATTER KEITH AND THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP

**lanceylance:** ohmygod that sounded like such a married statement

**lanceylance:** i wanna marry him

**lanceylance:** no exaggeration full stop i want to marry keith

**lanceylance:** IF IT HADN’T BEEN FOR THE LAWS OF THIS LAND I WOULD’VE MARRIED HIM ALREADY

**mamamcclain:** you’re 17.

**lanceylance:** 18 in a little over a month tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**mamamcclain:** is there something i need to know about?

**mamamcclain:** perhaps a plan to get married when you turn 18?

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** who said that

**mamamcclain:** i talked to shiro one day, he said keith talks about you a lot.

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE HE LOVES ME AND I LOVE HIM AND HHHH I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN

**lanceylance:** like

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** that’s him right now

**lanceylance:** he would be

**lanceylance:** such a good dad

**lanceylance:** and after college, once we’re stable, i’m gonna start a family with him

**mamamcclain:** are these fantasies or have you actually talked about this?

_ (2) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** dear boy of mine is even more eager than i am :,)

**mamamcclain:** emely is laughing.

**lanceylance:** EM STOP READING OVER MAMA’S SHOULDERS

**mamamcclain:** oh, no, i showed her.

**lanceylance:** BETRAYAL

**lanceylance:** anyway i’m gonna go squeeze myself next to my boyfriend

**lanceylance:** buenas noches mama!! good riddance emely!!

**mamamcclain:** buenas noches lancito.

**mamamcclain:** tell keith at some point i say buenas noches to him too.

**mamamcclain:** GOOD NIGHT U SAD WHIPPED BOY -emely

**lanceylance:** /who let her into contact with shiro/

**mamamcclain:** :)

**lanceylance:** :O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~did i mention i'm working on an actual oneshot for this? i am :)~~
> 
> SEE Y'ALL IN THE NEXT ONE


	3. the power of friendship: pride edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance goes to pride and hunk almost gets into a fistfight, ft. heavy doses of klance, platonic hance, and broganes, with a small side dish of hunay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna be the last chapter till tuesday at the earliest i'll explain more in the end note :P
> 
> **trigger warning for vaguely-explained homophobia (nothing explicit) and casual threats of violence**

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** I AM SO HYPED TODAY AAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** PRIDE!! TODAY!!

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kogayne:** me: oh god what did i open the gc to

**kogayne:** me: oh no my boyfriend is being adorable

**lanceylance:** :D :D :D

**kogayne:** STOP THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART TO HANDLE

**carrierpidgeon:** y’all know it’s supposed to rain today right

**kogayne:** did anything get cancelled or postponed tho 

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**kogayne:** then we’re going

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao emily and i aren’t anymore

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** when were u going to inform me, ur ride

**carrierpidgeon:** like now

**carrierpidgeon:** lmao she’s coming over and matt is having shiro and allura over and we’re gonna have a video game tournament

**kogayne:** SHIRO WHEN WERE U GONNA TELL ME THIS

**takashmeoutside:** like now

**kogayne:** omfg

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** wow

**mattata:** lmao u don’t have to watch my baby sister anymore take ur victory

**lanceylance:** now we can be as cute or gross as we want without judgment!! KEITH!!!!

**kogayne:** LANCE!!!

**lanceylance:** uwu <3 <3 <3

**kogayne:** :) <3333

**hunkerdunker:** i opened the gc to keith and lance hearting at each other

**hunkerdunker:** shay where are uuuuuuuuuuuuu

**shayfromstatefarm:** right here my love <33333

**hunkerdunker:** :D <333333333

**carrierpidgeon:** so much mush i can’t believe this

**kogayne:** hush u literally are skipping pride to hang out with ur girlfriend

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re still not official yet shhhh

**kogayne:** w h e n

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT HAPPENED TO NOT RUSHING THINGS

**kogayne:** UGH PIDGE UR KILLIN ME

**lanceylance:** [whispers] ur killing me smalls

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** IS THAT THE SANDLOT I SEE

**mattata:** TAKASHI SHIROGANE AND KEITH KOGANE BOTH HAD CRUSHES ON BENNY “THE JET” RODRIGUEZ

**takashmeoutside:** MATT I SWEAR

**mattata:** i love you :)

**allurable:** so you mean to tell me

**mattata:** here before u guess

**mattata:** what i mean to tell u is baby pansexual shiro watched the sandlot, developed a crush on benny, and then showed keith the movie several years later 

**kogayne:** i should add i was not a baby gay

**lanceylance:** how old were u

**takashmeoutside:** he was 12

**lanceylance:** baby gay

**kogayne:** i’ll concede that i was little but i was by no means a baby gay

**kogayne:** i knew for years before i came out 

**kogayne:** i was just Waiting bc this world is cold hard and unforgiving 

**lanceylance:** awww babe :(

**kogayne:** s’all good tho bc i have my boyfriend and my best friends so who’s the real winner (⌐■_■) 

**hunkerdunker:** eNoUgH

**lanceylance:** LET ME LOVE HIM

**kogayne:** LET ME LOVE HIM

**lanceylance:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** are u forreal

**lanceylance:** keith w-what are we

**kogayne:** uhh i’d say drift compatible

**shayfromstatefarm:** “would say”

**kogayne:** but actually i think we’re soulmates

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** :) 

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god

**lanceylance:** so keith, back to benny,

**kogayne:** NEVER MIND YOURE DEAD TO ME

**lanceylance:** do u want me to start wearing baseball pants orrrrr ;)

**kogayne:** jejdjdjdkdspfkjgsk

**mattata:** O.O shiro do u want me do that too—

**takashmeoutside:** sTOP

**kogayne:** why are we dating them

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know 

**mattata:** I AM A GIFT

**lanceylance:** I AM A JOY

**mattata:** PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

**lanceylance:** AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

**kogayne:** excuse you

**kogayne:** me and shiro are the original troublemakers

**mattata:** ACTUALLY me and pidge are

**kogayne:** bitch i was born first

**takashmeoutside:** technically speaking i was born first

**carrierpidgeon:** but matt and i have been hanging out since my birth, it took several years for keith to spend all his time with shiro

**kogayne:** aaaand this is about to go places i don’t want it to go so anyway lance and i are going to pride so imma hop out of the group chat and get ready

**takashmeoutside:** i gotta get ready to visit the holts

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta get ready for eeeeeeemilyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**kogayne:** have fun with ur giiiiirlfriiiiieeeeeeend

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND YET

**kogayne:** YET

**carrierpidgeon:** ASSHOLE

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** do i get kicked out of this party or get all the gossip and then get kicked out of this party

**lanceylance:** why would you get kicked out of the party

**hunkerdunker:** uhh bc shit’s being talked about my friends

**lanceylance:** whoa whoa whoa bACK UP WHAT

**hunkerdunker:** yeah so uhhh this kid

**hunkerdunker:** the party i got invited to was one of the kids in my french class, right

**lanceylance:** mhm

**hunkerdunker:** uhhh they seemed pretty tame in class but turns out 50% of their social circle contains raging homophobes and the amount of bullshit i’ve heard in the last 20 minutes is astounding in itself but THEN

**lanceylance:** my blood is already boiling and you haven’t even gotten to the AND THEN yet?!

**hunkerdunker:** nope

**hunkerdunker:** SO THEN

**hunkerdunker:** they turned around and started talking shit about some of the openly lgbtq+ kids in school, which, it must’ve slipped their minds that i myself am pansexual, but i’m staying quiet bc i want this info, right

**hunkerdunker:** and i mean it /hurts/ but i’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart and a deep need to find out what’s going on

**lanceylance:** did u just quote sia at me

**hunkerdunker:** yes i did

**hunkerdunker:** ANYWAY they went at lotor and co first obviously bc half the school still has it out for him bc of his shitty dad, even tho we graduated and zarkon got fired back in december

**hunkerdunker:** and i’m like mmmm okay maybe i’ll just keep quiet

**hunkerdunker:** but then they started going at other kids

**hunkerdunker:** and i just heard the names keith and lance come up

**lanceylance:** GET THE TEA THEN KICK THEIR ASSES I WANNA KNOW WHAT’S BEING SAID

**hunkerdunker:** ,,, do i send this to the whole gc

**lanceylance:** uhhh later? keith’s having a great time rn and i’m not about to put him into murder mode when he’s finally being happy and carefree

**hunkerdunker:** “finally”

**lanceylance:** HE’S A STRESSED BABY

**hunkerdunker:** /your/ stressed baby

**lanceylance:** YES EXACTLY

**hunkerdunker:** anyway the tea so far is that u guys were two of the most obnoxious people in the school

**lanceylance:** not news but go on

**hunkerdunker:** and you were the worst of it

**lanceylance:** :))) my friends love me my friends love me my friends love me cONTINUE

**hunkerdunker:** and they said keith used his being gay as a “pass” to get through high school and i’m really not sure what that’s supposed to mean

**lanceylance:** oh yeah just like how zarkon kept unfairly giving him detention and bitching him out on his homophobic tirades? mmm oh yeah just,, cruisin

**hunkerdunker:** mmhmmm

**hunkerdunker:** oh wow someone just asked how hunk and shay put up with the two of them and then suddenly realized i’m sitting like 5 feet away

**lanceylance:** oh fuck

**hunkerdunker:** :) time to defend the hell out of my best friend and his boy

**lanceylance:** something tells me that’s not all they said about us is it

**hunkerdunker:** listen i can tell u those things in person 

**hunkerdunker:** bc i don’t wanna ruin ur pride any further and i’m actually really sorry that i said something

**lanceylance:** nah, it’s okay, i’ll feel better knowing those fuckers are about to get a hunk reaming

**lanceylance:** i’ll talk to u later?

**hunkerdunker:** yep :) love u buddy!!! have fun!!

**lanceylance:** love u too!! fuck em up!!!

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** pls,, pls let me gush abt my boyfriend and my day at pride

**takashmeoutside:** whyyyyyyyy

**kogayne:** PLS

**takashmeoutside:** fine

**kogayne:** THANK U

**kogayne:** first of all we somehow got separated from the rest of the people we were going with but hunk and shay weren’t going and neither was pidge or emily so it’s okay it’s just me and lance anyway and honestly??! ohhhh my god it was so much fun i’m dying

**takashmeoutside:** you die when something is painful, you die when something is fun, do u ever not die

**kogayne:** no

**takashmeoutside:** wait no

**kogayne:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** it was like the coldest day of the week and probably of the month and it was kinda drizzly but do u know how good that was for me

**kogayne:** lance gets so clingy when he’s cold i love him so much we were basically joined at the hip and at one point he just got on my shoulders and???

**kogayne:** I LOVE HIM

**kogayne:** SHIRO I WANNA MARRY HIM

**takashmeoutside:** i need to start a log in my phone for how many times u say the phrase “SHIRO I WANNA MARRY HIM” word for word

**kogayne:** there’s no way i say it that much

**takashmeoutside:** uh yes there is a way it’s called “lance turns my little brother into a pile of mush and he can’t just gush to lance about how much he loves lance so he has to gush to me”

**kogayne:** why do u gotta call me out like this

**takashmeoutside:** it’s called keeping you in check

**kogayne:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** when we went lance had all his bi gear right

**kogayne:** his tshirt, some wristbands, boi even put on face paint

**takashmeoutside:** yes he made that very clear in his photos this morning

**kogayne:** yeah well he also had his bi flag and was wearing it as a cape

**kogayne:** and so i went more lowkey right

**kogayne:** just my gaylien shirt and some wristbands

**takashmeoutside:** i’m still amazed you even decided to wear the gaylien shirt

**kogayne:** listen,,, sometimes i enjoy wearing it and this was one of those times

**kogayne:** anyway he put face paint on my face and then bought me a gay flag bc he knew i didn’t have one and??? then i bought him ice cream and now we’re chilling out in the park and 

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he’s soft

**takashmeoutside:** this is disgusting

**kogayne:** HE’S MY BABY AND I LOVE HIM

**takashmeoutside:** whiiiiiiiiiipped

**kogayne:** oh yeah well then how are matt and allura

**takashmeoutside:** currently battling against pidge and emily in mario kart

**takashmeoutside:** we did a coin toss and i’m out this match

**kogayne:** is it ur first match

**takashmeoutside:** nah 

**takashmeoutside:** allura sat out for the last one

**kogayne:** who won the last one

**takashmeoutside:** matt

**kogayne:** how many races in a round

**takashmeoutside:** ur standard 4 

**kogayne:** which one are they on rn and who’s winning

**takashmeoutside:** three, allura’s here with a vengeance

**kogayne:** tell pidge i’m rooting for her

**takashmeoutside:** lmfao alright then

**takashmeoutside:** what’s your plan for tonight and tomorrow

**kogayne:** well ur not going to the parent/guardian orientation are u

**takashmeoutside:** considering i’ve /been/ through college in the last decade on ur same campus, nope

**kogayne:** mhm well seeing as lance’s mom has already put 6 other kids thru college, she’s not going either

**kogayne:** so

**kogayne:** lance and i were thinking

**takashmeoutside:** these sentences never end well

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck 

**kogayne:** lance and i were thinking that since u and mrs mcclain aren’t going, it would be easier for us to drive up by ourselves

**kogayne:** instead of relying on u guys for a ride

**kogayne:** and that way we can play our road trip playlist and scream it out without being reprimanded, and we get to share a car

**takashmeoutside:** it’s a half an hour drive

**kogayne:** ROAD TRIP

**takashmeoutside:** [eyeroll]

**kogayne:** don’t eyeroll at me takashit

**takashmeoutside:** DID U RLLY JUST CALL ME TAKASHIT

**kogayne:** SHITO

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■)

**takashmeoutside:** OfFeNdEd

**kogayne:** ANYWAY

**takashmeoutside:** SAY ANYWAY AGAIN

**kogayne:** AnYwAy

**takashmeoutside:** ohmygod

**kogayne:** ANYWAY LANCE AND I ARE GONNA GO BACK TO OUR OWN HOUSES TONIGHT AND SPEND TOMORROW PACKING

**kogayne:** and then we agreed i’m the one driving us up

**takashmeoutside:** oh no

**kogayne:** what do you mEAN OH NO

**kogayne:** I’M A SAFE DRIVER

**takashmeoutside:** but compared to lance,

**kogayne:** i’m sworn to secrecy on certain things but highway? i’m the safer bet jUST TRUST ME

**kogayne:** I MEAN HE’S A SAFE DRIVER TOO BUT COMPARATIVELY I’M SAFER DON’T GO THINKING I’M NOT SAFE WITH HIM SHHHHHH SUBJECT CHANGING NOW

**takashmeoutside:** ,,, yeah ANYWAY

**kogayne:** “SAY ANYWAY AGAIN” HYPOCRITE

**takashmeoutside:** ANYWAY

**kogayne:** :O

**takashmeoutside:** ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

**kogayne:** DID U JUST LENNY FACE AT ME

**takashmeoutside:** MAYHAPS

**kogayne:** I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

**takashmeoutside:** so anyway,

**kogayne:** TAKASHI RYOU SHIROGANE

**takashmeoutside:** excuse me who is the adult here

**kogayne:** technically both of us i’m 18 you dip

**takashmeoutside:** don’t use that tone of voice with me young man

**kogayne:** OHHHH MYGOOOOOOOOOOO

**takashmeoutside:** anyway, what time are you getting home

**kogayne:** probably not till late, lance wants to hang out the rest of the afternoon and be cute and i’m weak for him so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** no later than midnight probably 

**takashmeoutside:** cool i’ll be home before then

**takashmeoutside:** maybe

**takashmeoutside:** if not i’ll definitely be home by late morning

**kogayne:** return whenever idc ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** just be home before we leave on monday

**takashmeoutside:** of course

**takashmeoutside:** gotta see u off for orientation

**kogayne:** bet

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**hunkerdunker:** OKAY SO LANCE ALREADY KNOWS BUT THERE’S TEA TO BE SPILLED

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh dear

**kogayne:** oh this is what he was vaguely mentioning

**shayfromstatefarm:** what’s happening

**hunkerdunker:** i got kicked out of a grad party because i almost threw hands with a homophobe and it turns out the parents of the kid are homophobes and uh?? so is the kid apparently?? this fucker who stayed quiet all during french?

**shayfromstatefarm:** NOOOO

**hunkerdunker:** mmm yep 

**hunkerdunker:** they started w the community as a whole and then moved on to kids in the school and they started talking shit about keith and lance and then asked how we put up with it like, a rhetorical “man how do hunk and shay put up with it”

**shayfromstatefarm:** did they assume we’re straight

**hunkerdunker:** apparently

**hunkerdunker:** and then everyone collectively realized i was sitting /right there/ and i started defending my friends bc uhh friendship duh

**lanceylance:** :)

**hunkerdunker:** and someone swung at me and i was ready to defend myself but uhh everyone knew they would LOSE so they panicked and kicked me out

**hunkerdunker:** lmao ANYWAY on my way to another party with some of the culinary kids and the culinary kids are generally nice

**hunkerdunker:** and i’m out to like, half of them, so things should be fine there!

**shayfromstatefarm:** luckyyy i’m on my way to my cousin’s party rn i know nO ONE AND IT’S A MOSTLY FRIENDS PARTY

**lanceylance:** rip rip potato chip

**shayfromstatefarm:** klance we need positivity how was pride

**lanceylance:** u mean...positoovity (☞⌐■_■)☞ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** LISTEN POSITOOVITY WAS A BOP

**hunkerdunker:** positoovity and she’s in love were the best songs in that show

**kogayne:** okay but listen,, the “if only” quartet...u guys fuckin destroyed that,,,

**hunkerdunker:** :D

**lanceylance:** ;D

**hunkerdunker:** but also consider: poor unfortunate souls or daddy’s little angel

**lanceylance:** those are like,, power songs

**lanceylance:** if only is a Crying Song

**lanceylance:** and we’ve already covered our bops

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance mcclain? an intellectual? more likely than you think

**lanceylance:** mm about time someone sees it

**kogayne:** :O WHAT DO U MEAN /ABOUT TIME/

**lanceylance:** :)))))) NEVER MIND

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** PRIDE WAS FUN KEITH IS CLINGY

**kogayne:** actually lance was the clingy one

**kogayne:** cold and drizzly means i’m his human furnace which means he sticks by my side the whole time

**kogayne:** and then he got on my shoulders

**lanceylance:** he has very strong shoulders

**hunkerdunker:** today on “why did we ask klance for positivity”

**lanceylance:** I GOT /POSITOOVITY/

**lanceylance:** anyway i bought him a rainbow flag bc somehow he didn’t have one

**kogayne:** “somehow” and suddenly i’m reminded of the college scene in love, simon

**lanceylance:** am i the person u wanna dance with tho :)

**kogayne:** mmmmm [squints]

**lanceylance:** BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABE

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway after he bought me the flag i bought him ice cream and now we’re in the park and he’s soft and i’m content so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** man now i miss hunk

**hunkerdunker:** wrebgwrgerw shay sneak me over to ur cousin’s party as a plus one

**hunkerdunker:** are u driving urself rn

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK U FUCKING GENIUS WHERE ARE U RIGHT NOW

**hunkerdunker:** I’M OMW BACK TO MY HOUSE I’M LIKE 2 MINUTES AWAY

**hunkerdunker:** ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE CHAT GUYS MY SPIRITS JUST LIFTED LIKE 500% 

**lanceylance:** THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hunk is a good friend idc what vld did to him hE'S A GOOD FRIEND
> 
> anyway i have orientation monday and tuesday and i'm not bringing my laptop (read: expressly told to not bring laptops) and my phone dies easily and idk how much charger access i'm gonna have so uhhh new chapter maybe late tuesday night? at the very earliest? i mean, i've got docs in my phone and that's how i wrote chapters during school so we'll see what happens
> 
> this warning also applies to all other fanfics, unless i can get something written the rest of the afternoon...even tho i should be packing...bc i gotta leave at the crack of doom...mmmmmmmmmmm
> 
> anyway shameless advertising time  
> -[DECEIT SO NATURAL](https://archiveofourown.org/series/767406) turns 1 year old tomorrow! if you haven't read the trilogy yet, celebrate this milestone by starting with the first fic, [WHERE PEOPLE GO TO DIE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297529/chapters/25276539)!  
> -if you wanna meet a group of cool people who love and support each other for no reason other than we're all nerds with big hearts, join my voltron discord, [SHUT YOUR QUIZNAK](https://discord.gg/KJRSSm2)!  
> -if you wanna keep up with my shenanigans, add me on snap @ eileen.sho or on twitter or instagram @ nerdyspaceace!!  
> -wizard101 fans and/or people looking for a magical school au that ISN'T a hogwarts au: i've started a new wizard101 au, [BEHIND THE STAR FIELDS](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952575/chapters/34648718)!
> 
> lmao, see y'all in the next update of whatever updates next!!


	4. orientation, part i: do these kids ever sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance and hunay's first day of their two-day orientation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO EXHAUSTED BUT ORIENTATION WAS FUN 
> 
> **trigger warning for an anxiety attack and an (unrelated) mention of sexual assault (this isn't even a mention of someone being assaulted, more like an implied callback to stuff from su, and this warning probably isn't even needed but better safe than sorry :P)**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** keith aere ou akwae

**lanceylance:** keith 

**lanceylance:** pls

**lanceylance:** pls pikc up  the phonew

**kogayne:** hey yeah sorry

**kogayne:** what’s going on?

**lanceylance:** LAMAO JSURT GOT SUPRSR ANXOISU AOBUT ORIENTIOATIN

**kogayne:** it’s gonna be okay

**kogayne:** here, don’t use words, try and use numbers

**kogayne:** 1 means awful or a little and 10 means great or a lot

**kogayne:** how good/bad is ur breathing rn

**lanceylance:** 4

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** breathing exercise, u know what to do

**kogayne:** breathe

**kogayne:** in 4, hold 7, out 8

**kogayne:** are u breathing?

**lanceylance:** triyn g

**kogayne:** you can do it

**kogayne:** 4, 7, 8

**kogayne:** it’s gonna be okay

**kogayne:** i’m here

**kogayne:** how’s your shaking

**lanceylance:** 3

**kogayne:** okay

**kogayne:** keep breathing, just keep breathing

**kogayne:** what’s got you nervous

**kogayne:** pls take ur time don’t hurt urself here

**lanceylance:** i’m just scared aobut orientaiton

**lanceylance:** idk why??/ hahahaahaaaaaaa

**kogayne:** everything’s gonna be alright

**kogayne:** it’s two days

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** do u need me to come over

**lanceylance:** hnnnnnnn no

**lanceylance:** take the night to finish packing and hang w shiro

**kogayne:** shiro’s passed out, imma see him in the morning and then i’m leaving

**lanceylance:** yeah so just

**lanceylance:** hnnn just stay there i’ll be okay

**kogayne:** that doesn't sound very convincing

**lanceylance:** :( i know

**kogayne:** lance i’ll come over if u need it

**lanceylance:** nonono

**kogayne:** ...are u absolutely certain 

**lanceylance:** hhhh yeah can we just like

**kogayne:** facetime?

**lanceylance:** drift compatible

**kogayne:** oh so you’re coherent enough to make pop culture references at me

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** ur lucky i find u absolutely adorable

**lanceylance:** i love you

**lanceylance:** now pls let me hear ur voice and see ur face, we can finish packing over facetime 

**kogayne:** pack an extra sweatshirt so we can swap

**lanceylance:** :)

_ FaceTime with  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ and  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ : 00:34:17.48 _

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**kogayne:** lance’s mom packed us breakfast i love (1) woman

**shayfromstatefarm:** OFFENDED

**kogayne:** ur not a Woman yet ur not 18

**shayfromstatefarm:** 5 more days :P

**hunkerdunker:** is ur grandma still insisting on planning a party for u

**shayfromstatefarm:** wtf when did u talk to gram

**hunkerdunker:** shhhh we're tight 

**shayfromstatefarm:** sure u are

**hunkerdunker:** ahem

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** SPEED DIAL

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHY

**kogayne:** i have mrs mcclain on speed dial but i never talk to her on the phone, i just show up unannounced to see my boyfriend and she talks to me instead of throwing me out

**lanceylance:** bc she likes u better than her actual children

**lanceylance:** “oh thank god!! an angel in a house of demons!!!”

**kogayne:** (⌐■_■) what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her

**lanceylance:** she only thinks ur an angel bc i think ur an angel and i literally never shut up about u

**kogayne:** aw cute now

**kogayne:** no one talk to me

**kogayne:** i have a boy to safely drive to college

**lanceylance:** he means me :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmao rax is driving me

**hunkerdunker:** both moms insist on coming to parent orientation

**lanceylance:** :O I LOVE UR MOMS OH MY GOD

**hunkerdunker:** i immediately regret saying anything

**lanceylance:** anyway imma sleep in keith’s front seat bc i went to bed at 3:30 and got up at 4:30 bc The Anxiety Never Sleeps

**hunkerdunker:** WE LIVE HALF AN HOUR AWAY WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF

**lanceylance:** ANXIETY HUNKETH

**hunkerdunker:** keith,,

**kogayne:** uhhhh lets just say i downed a lot of caffeine so i won’t fall asleep behind the wheel and also we’re hitting dunkin on the way

**shayfromstatefarm:** yOU PEOPLE

**lanceylance:** here for a good time not a long time (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** shut up ur here for a long time OKAY BYE WE’RE LEAVING

**lanceylance:** imma hop out to nap peace out bitches

**hunkerdunker:** mmmmm 

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > hunkerdunker_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** they are literally going to collapse

**hunkerdunker:** lowkey hope we end up in the same orientation group so i can see it happen

**shayfromstatefarm:** ughh i just wanna know who my roommate is

**hunkerdunker:** “know who” arus is huge ur not gonna know them

**shayfromstatefarm:** u never know

**hunkerdunker:** oh my god 

**shayfromstatefarm:** what

**hunkerdunker:** what if some asshole ends up going here

**shayfromstatefarm:** rolo and nyma are both going to different colleges i thought

**hunkerdunker:** NO IM TALKING ABT MORVOK

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...oh my god paul would be a legacy student wouldn’t he

**hunkerdunker:** does anyone have his snapchat or something 

**shayfromstatefarm:** i blocked him

**hunkerdunker:** so did i

**hunkerdunker:** i guess we hope we’re wrong and just let this play out

**shayfromstatefarm:** LET’S HOPE FOR THE BEST

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ added  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ ,  _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ , and  _ **_mamamcclain_ ** _ to  _ **_IMPORTANT FAM BUSINESS_ **

**kogayne:** LANCE WHY

**lanceylance:** hi mama!! hi shiro!!! we got here alive

**lanceylance:** keith is a safe driver

**kogayne:** mm

**takashmeoutside:** keith ur not slick i know how much caffeine u downed this morning

**kogayne:** shut up shiro

**mamamcclain:** :O

**lanceylance:** theyre always like that

**mamamcclain:** :O !!!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** well, all sense of professionalism is officially out the window

**kogayne:** u were never professional to begin with

**takashmeoutside:** shut up keith

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** anyway we just wanted to check in and this gc is easy to check in with

**lanceylance:** hunk and shay aren’t here yet keith and i got separated

**kogayne:** same orientation group tho :P just diff roommates 

**lanceylance:** ^^

**lanceylance:** i hope mines not an a—a butthead

**kogayne:** we’re barely ever gonna be in the rooms, they’re literally just to sleep in and there are whole groups of kids hanging in each others’ rooms 

**mamamcclain:** really?

**kogayne:** yeah

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance _ **

**kogayne:** also i’m switching to a chat with just you now

**lanceylance:** good idea probably

**lanceylance:** are u gonna wait for ur roommate to show or do u jus wanna start heading down to the student center

**kogayne:** mmmm it’s up to you

**lanceylance:** wanna just head down then?? take in the scenery???? hold my hand while i love the shit out of u??

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** i take it we’re not waiting for hunk and shay then

**lanceylance:** we can save them seats but i wanna be soft w u

**lanceylance:** and take in our home for the next four years

**lanceylance:** more so than i did on accepted students’ day

**kogayne:** did u know: i love u so fucking much

**lanceylance:** so i’ve been told

**lanceylance:** i love you too :)

**lanceylance:** which room are u in, 237?

**kogayne:** yep, ur 233?

**lanceylance:** mmmmhmmmmmm 

**lanceylance:** any idea how they divided groups or rooms?

**kogayne:** no, i suspect we’ll figure it out later

**kogayne:** omw to ur room now btw

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so i arrived and my roommate wasn’t in my room, right

**lanceylance:** HUNK WE SAVED U A SEAT IN THE STUDENT THEATER

**hunkerdunker:** that’s nice but listen

**shayfromstatefarm:** listening

**hunkerdunker:** i almost didn’t look at the luggage twice, but then i did

_ (2) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** keith,,,, p sure i’m ur roommate

**kogayne:** BAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT U ARE

**lanceylance:** wh

**lanceylance:** WH

**lanceylance:** MY BOYFRIEND AND MY BEST FRIEND GET TO ROOM TOGETHER AND I GET SOME RANDO?? THIS IS BIPHOBIA

**kogayne:** but u get me for our actual college experience, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** yeah and i still gotta find someone

**hunkerdunker:** fb search is lookin slow

**kogayne:** hunk what group are u in for orientation shit

**hunkerdunker:** group c

**lanceylance:** :O US TOO

**shayfromstatefarm:** hi, just arrived, i am not

**kogayne:** gendered groups?

**lanceylance:** doubt it

**lanceylance:** did u all put down aerospace engineering as ur major when u signed up except for shay

**kogayne:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**lanceylance:** grouped us by major im calling it

**kogayne:** and what about dorms

**lanceylance:** randomized or by like, last name or last name within group or something?

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**hunkerdunker:** makes enough sense to me

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** shay and i grabbed a table for four by the windows when u get ur food

**lanceylance:** ,, i hope u have the hands to read this

**lanceylance:** but if u don’t i’m p sure you’ll be able to see us anyway

**lanceylance:** mmmm im gonna be cute till u get here so u can be flustered in front of me bc guess who’s cute when he’s flustered?

**lanceylance:** that’s right it’s you!!!

**lanceylance:** cutest boy, light of my life!!!!

**lanceylance:** my dearest love!!!!

**lanceylance:** my baby!!!!!!

**lanceylance:** my whole entire heart!!!!!! mi corazón!!!!! mi sol mi luna y todas mis estrellas!!!!

**lanceylance:** :D THERE U ARE!!!

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside _ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** why do i love him

**takashmeoutside:** bc he does that

**takashmeoutside:** bc he loves you

**takashmeoutside:** how’s your day so far

**kogayne:** alright i guess? we met with our advisors, the guy in charge of aerospace engineering majors is named dos santos or something

**kogayne:** we’ve mostly just gone through lectures and the lecture hall we were just in was boiling hot

**kogayne:** and the weather doesn’t know whether it wants to be hot or cold

**kogayne:** keep taking my flannel on and off

**takashmeoutside:** well, that’s arus for u

**takashmeoutside:** whats up now

**kogayne:** lunch and then more lectures

**kogayne:** then dinner

**kogayne:** then something the orientation leaders are being secretive about

**takashmeoutside:** if it’s the same thing it was when i had orientation then i know what it is :)

**kogayne:** great

**kogayne:** tell me

**takashmeoutside:** no fuck u

**kogayne:** WOW TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL TAKASHIT

**takashmeoutside:** this is payback for the first time u called me takashit

**kogayne:** asshole

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ HAVE FUN

 

**_shayfromstatefarm > lanceylance_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** yo is keith okay after that lecture?

**lanceylance:** hhhhnnn he managed to hold out but he was

**lanceylance:** very uncomfy

**shayfromstatefarm:** why didn’t he walk out

**lanceylance:** i think it’s a pride thing

**lanceylance:** he’s doing okay now

**lanceylance:** he just

**lanceylance:** it took him squeezing my hand the whole time to keep it together but hes okay 

**shayfromstatefarm:** what about when they called hand-holding sexual and asked if we’d done it recently

**lanceylance:** just squeezed it harder and like

**lanceylance:** u know that “come at me bro i fucking dare u” look he sometimes gets

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah

**lanceylance:** he had that

**shayfromstatefarm:** oof

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** im thinkin abt texting shiro

**lanceylance:** just so he knows what’s up bc mulletman over here’s phone is recharging

**shayfromstatefarm:** it died?

**lanceylance:** mmmm

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah, text shiro 

**shayfromstatefarm:** just to give a heads up if nothing else

**lanceylance:** im gonna rn

**lanceylance:** see u later!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** see ya later!!!

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** lmao nothing super pressing but just a heads up on ur bro

**lanceylance:** he’s okay rn and he was okay during it for the most part but we had a sexual assault lecture and he was p uncomf

**takashmeoutside:** “he was okay during it” and “he was p uncomf” are like, contradictory statements

**lanceylance:** meh

**lanceylance:** some of the things were just

**lanceylance:** sensitive

**lanceylance:** but he’s good now!! he says hi his phone is just dead rn

**takashmeoutside:** alright then

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t have to tell u to keep an eye on him so have a good rest of ur day, tell him i say hi back, yada yada

**lanceylance:** will do!!

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**lanceylance:** IS IT NORMAL TO CRY OVER A STAGE

**carrierpidgeon:** if it’s a stage in a video game, yes

**carrierpidgeon:** how’s orientation

**lanceylance:** WE WERE JUST IN ONE OF THE PERFORMING ARTS CENTERS AND THEIR STAGE WAS SO BIG AND BEAUTIFUL!!! THE LIGHTS!!!!! THE SIDE DOORS!!!!!!!!! THE BACK HATCH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** he was literally in tears

**kogayne:** “it’s so beautiful oh my god” -lance, sobbing

**lanceylance:** i wasn’t /sobbing/

**mattata:** lmao are u all in the same orientation group

**lanceylance:** me keith n hunk are

**kogayne:** they also put me and hunk as roommates cjdjsjsjsje

**shayfromstatefarm:** different major and gender :P

**shayfromstatefarm:** groups were by major so we would have an easier time meeting w advisors and learning about our schools

**shayfromstatefarm:** floors in the dorms are separated on a gender binary

**carrierpidgeon:** what the FUCK

**allurable:** it’s a state institution what did u expect

**lanceylance:** although they did show us the rainbow center for lgbtq+ stuff and it’s like, a hangout space

**kogayne:** ah yes, my home,

**allurable:** cijdjdjdnskdjd

**kogayne:** okay listen the couches in there were COMFY and it’s on like, the top floor

**kogayne:** weed out the weak

**kogayne:** earn a quiet and p much guaranteed safe place to chill out

**kogayne:** I WIN

**kogayne:** u know what else i win

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** the pretty photo contest

**allurable:** stop being good at photography

**carrierpidgeon:** why is lance in four of these photos

**kogayne:** bc he’s the view

**takashmeoutside:** did u guys have fun w the skits

**kogayne:** the bad study habits one called out all of our high school selves i felt attacked

**lanceylance:** I DID TOO

**lanceylance:** also i love u baby :) <33333

**kogayne:** <3333

**mattata:** what are u guys doing now

**shayfromstatefarm:** there’s like, a party going on at the dorms

**shayfromstatefarm:** food, games, karaoke, bingo, etc

**hunkerdunker:** lmao i’m hitting the showers while no ones there and then going to bed

**lanceylance:** probably gonna get food, stick around for a bit, then shower and sleep

**kogayne:** ^^^^

**shayfromstatefarm:** mOOD im wiped out

**allurable:** okay then we’ll let u go!! have a good night!!!! 

**takashmeoutside:** GET SOME SLEEP

**kogayne:** gn y’all 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's lookin like a double upload night tonight so keep an eye out in the next few hours for the second part of this :P


	5. orientation, part ii: no, because the university wON'T LET THEM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klance and hunay's second day of their two-day orientation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**ayo just make sure you read chapter 4 before this, today was a double-upload day so make sure ur reading both to follow this coherently** _
> 
> i wrote the first section of this chapter at one in the morning on no sleep
> 
> **trigger warning for implied/explained panic attack and implied pre-fic character death a la tadashi hamada (wregrwgerf bh6 fans i'm so sorry for this comparison)**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i finally met my roommate and i was half-asleep and the first thing he did was nOT INTRODUCE HIMSELF, BUT RATHER: get into a debate with me about whether sharks or whales are better

**kogayne:** and who won

**lanceylance:** uhhh me bc he just passed out so sHARKS REIGN SUPREME 

**kogayne:** good

**kogayne:** now pls get some sleep so ur wide awake to be a little shit tomorrow

**kogayne:** the little shit i love so much

**lanceylance:** fine but u gotta sleep too!! 

**lanceylance:** cuddle w hunk he gives good cuddles if ur cold

**kogayne:** i mean i /could/ but he is also passed out

**kogayne:** and i’m not just gonna waltz all up into his personal space

**kogayne:** not when he’s asleep that’s rude

**lanceylance:** aw look at u being a good person

**kogayne:** umm of course, i’m always a good person 

**lanceylance:** yes u are bby

**lanceylance:** now gO TO SLEEP

**kogayne:** good night starboy :)

**lanceylance:** gn starlight <333333333333333

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** so this is bullshit

**takashmeoutside:** i have concerns as to why this is being sent at one in the morning

**hunkerdunker:** i have concerns as to why i’m standing in a parking lot with wet hair and wet flip flops at one in the morning but OH WELL I GUESS

**mattata:** oooo what’s up

**hunkerdunker:** we’re all sleeping in the north tower, right 

**hunkerdunker:** most of us had to wake up some kinda early to get to campus on time

**hunkerdunker:** most of us had also been asleep for less than an HOUR when this fucking ALARM starts blaring

**lanceylance:** i woke up and thought it was my phone alarm going off

**lanceylance:** and then i remembered i turned my ringer way down so i wouldn’t disturb my roommate in the morning

**lanceylance:** and then i realized what it was

**shayfromstatefarm:** i walked out of my room and everyone on my floor was standing in the hallway looking at each other like “is this legit? do we leave?”

**hunkerdunker:** same on our floor

**hunkerdunker:** the OLs started ushering us toward the stairs

**lanceylance:** HEARD somewhere in the hallway: “is it worth it to go outside”

**shayfromstatefarm:** mood -_-

**takashmeoutside:** hold up is this legit or a drill or did someone just randomly trigger it or?

**mattata:** faulty alarm maybe?

**allurable:** ^^ my freshman dorm had shitty alarms

**hunkerdunker:** no one knows, not even the OLs

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne _ **

**takashmeoutside:** attack scale

**kogayne:** 6.5, it’s over now though

**takashmeoutside:** what happened 

**kogayne:** kinda similar to what happened to lance

**kogayne:** thought it was my phone, realized very suddenly that it was most definitely Not My Phone

**kogayne:** and then i started to highkey panic

**kogayne:** very lucky hunk’s my roomie, he didn’t ask questions just helped me

**takashmeoutside:** did the alarm trigger the panic or something else

**kogayne:** i couldn’t see bc i took my contacts out and i couldn’t find my shoes or my room key and it was dark and the alarms were so fu king loud sensory overload kicked into high gear

**takashmeoutside:** but u brought ur backup glasses right

**kogayne:** yeah but they were in my bag

**kogayne:** i couldn’t see till lance got them out for me

**takashmeoutside:** does lance know

**kogayne:** more specific pls

**takashmeoutside:** about your dad

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** he didn’t question anything either

**kogayne:** he probably will later though

**takashmeoutside:** are you gonna tell him?

**kogayne:** hhhh eventually

**kogayne:** maybe after i deal w the mom situation

**takashmeoutside:** weren’t you supposed to email her and cancel on her?

**kogayne:** SHIT

**kogayne:** I HAVENT CHECKED MY PERSONAL IN LIKE A WEEK

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** IVE BEEN BUSY W COLLEGE STUFF AND STUFF

**takashmeoutside:** you know what i can’t fault u for that and i’m still angry at her so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**takashmeoutside:** also don’t even bother checking them till after orientation

**takashmeoutside:** take the rest of the night to calm down and sleep

**takashmeoutside:** spend tomorrow enjoying the rest of your orientation

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** we’re being let back inside so i’m gonna go

**kogayne:** gn

**takashmeoutside:** gn

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re being let back inside but at what cost

**lanceylance:** HEARD on the way back upstairs: “can we have extra time in the morning?” “no sorry we have a schedule to keep”

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** they’re making us take the stairs back up so vvv grateful i’m on floor 2

**shayfromstatefarm:** SHUT UP IM ON FLOOR 4

**allurable:** maybe u should all like

**allurable:** sleep

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah that’s where i’m headed!!! gn!!!!

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** morning update: feel dead but not as dead as yesterday

**hunkerdunker:** mood

**lanceylance:** yep sounds about right

**kogayne:** uggghhh

**lanceylance:** zombeith returns

**kogayne:** zombeith??

**lanceylance:** zombie keith! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** “dead” my ass this is too much energy for the night we had

**lanceylance:** i grabbed my blanket i was perfectly fine weather-wise 

**mattata:** good morning kids what are you up to today

**shayfromstatefarm:** we all have a lecture, then after the lecture my group gets to do course registration (⌐■_■) 

**hunkerdunker:** while we have two more lectures and then a campus tour -_-

**kogayne:** no we’re the lucky ones

**kogayne:** we register after lunch when we have our energy back, and we sleep thru the lectures

**hunkerdunker:** shit u right

**takashmeoutside:** aren’t lectures supposed to be important

**mattata:** solid plan but one lecture is for financial aid and u broke kids might wanna pay attention 

**kogayne:** mmm fine

**lanceylance:** imma still sleep they can’t throw anything at us my family doesn’t know 

**mattata:** and here, ladies and gents and non-binary...fuck i don’t have a rhyme for gents

**mattata:** whatever

**mattata:** anyway here’s lance: a prime example of a seventh child 

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** that’s the second finger guns of the morning i’m gonna siphon his life force

**lanceylance:** for u my dear i would give it up

**kogayne:** okay well you can’t so here’s the next best thing: pay attention during the financial aid lecture so u can catch anything i might miss 

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**kogayne:** too late no backsies

**lanceylance:** F U C K

**takashmeoutside:** well glad to know u all still got some measure of sleep

**kogayne:** some

**kogayne:** less than i would’ve liked but oh well

**kogayne:** i’ll still be awake enough to drive later

**lanceylance:** and if he’s not then i can just return yesterday’s favor and drive for him

**carrierpidgeon:** i opened the gc to more klance  w h y

**kogayne:** how’s emilyyyyyyyy

**carrierpidgeon:** i dunno u tell me

_ (2) photos from  _ **_carrierpidgeon_ **

**kogayne:** DID SHE SLEEP OVER

**mattata:** lmao yeah

**mattata:** came by yesterday outta nowhere to hang out 

**carrierpidgeon:** i was gonna gush but i rESPECT THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP CHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** ...also u were too busy for me to text

**kogayne:** :O I TOTALY WOULDVE TEXTED BACK

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmm

**kogayne:** I WOULDVE

**carrierpidgeon:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** FIGHT ME

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** course update: MY SCHEDULE DOESNT SUCK

**kogayne:** TOUR UPDATE: THERE ARE MANY MORE PLACES ON CAMPUS TO GET LOST THAN I THOUGHT

**allurable:** WOOOOOO GO SHAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** only 3 8 AMs and my fridays are vvvv lax

**allurable:** !!!!!!!! NICE

**shayfromstatefarm:** also keith why do u have a fixation on getting lost

**kogayne:** bc i do

**takashmeoutside:** keeeeith

**kogayne:** shhh

**lanceylance:** KEEEEEEEEIIIIITH

**kogayne:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** lmao stop me before i do something stupid 

**takashmeoutside:** like whAT

**kogayne:** like switching that second major in forensic science to a major in fine arts with a photography concentration

**takashmeoutside:** ,, are you serious

**kogayne:** STOP ME

**takashmeoutside:** wait why are you considering switching?

**kogayne:** i don’t know??? i just

**kogayne:** two sciences is like, nice and all? i like space and i liked forensics but like?? i like photography and art

**kogayne:** like

**kogayne:** campus tours and stuff exposed me to a lot more of the art stuff and??? i don’t want to be stuck with just science

**kogayne:** but i’m also on the fence like

**kogayne:** what am i gonna do with a photography degree

**takashmeoutside:** plenty

**takashmeoutside:** but don’t worry about a long-term job

**takashmeoutside:** college is for discovering yourself and giving yourself a foundation to support yourself and exposing yourself to new things 

**takashmeoutside:** and even if u need it for the future, aerospace should cover you

**takashmeoutside:** and besides, maybe you can find some blend of the two

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve said it before but i’ll say it again: you’re a bright kid, keith

**takashmeoutside:** no matter what you do, you’re going to excel

**takashmeoutside:** im gonna support your decision no matter what you do

**kogayne:** ...are you sure

**takashmeoutside:** absolutely positive

**takashmeoutside:** no matter what you decide to do, it’s ultimately your choice. choose what makes you happiest.

**kogayne:** right now no matter what i do it’s gonna give me anxiety

**kogayne:** and like, i wanna do a second major, and if i wanna accomplish it i gotta choose courses to set me on the right track /now/

**takashmeoutside:** not necessarily

**kogayne:** i’m not trying to go to college any longer than i have to, i’m trying to minimize how long the state gets our money here

**takashmeoutside:** /how many times do i have to tell you/

**kogayne:** HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IT’S GONNA CONCERN ME ANYWAY

**kogayne:** i’m really not trying to send us thousands in debt because i can’t make up my mind and i can’t settle with feeling like i’m not doing something worthwhile

**takashmeoutside:** if you’ve got a passion for it, then it’s worthwhile

**takashmeoutside:** what else got you thinking about switching

**kogayne:** i don’t know?? just the tours????

**kogayne:** and like, the fine arts buildings were really nice and on the more peaceful side of campus and there were a lot of places on campus where i was snapping photo after photo like?? shot my storage to shit

_ (23) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** okay, listen to me

**takashmeoutside:** this is up to you

**takashmeoutside:** and photography obviously seems important to you

**takashmeoutside:** you love taking pictures but i’ve never seen you interested in anything forensics-related outside of the cryptids

**takashmeoutside:** a hobby for which you take a /lot/ of photos

**takashmeoutside:** i’m telling you there’s money in photography, too

**kogayne:** hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

**kogayne:** wELP FUCK WE’RE HEADED TO COURSE REGISTRATION BYE

**takashmeoutside:** good luck, follow ur gut kiddo

 

**_IMPORTANT FAM BUSINESS_ **

**lanceylance:** I’M OFFICIALLY REGISTERED FOR MY COLLEGE CLASSES AND I HAVE 8 AMS FOUR TIMES A WEEK I AM GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF INTO SPACE

**mamamcclain:** you can’t shoot yourself into space if you don’t pass your 8 AM classes

**takashmeoutside:** FRDGNHFTDRFNTD

**takashmeoutside:** this is why mrs. mcclain is my favorite squad parent

**lanceylance:** MAMA HOW COULD U DO ME DIRTY LIKE THIS

**mamamcclain:** i’m your mother

**mamamcclain:** someone has to put you in your place

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** what about keith

**kogayne:** why u gotta call me out like this

**takashmeoutside:** how’s ur schedule looking /timewise/ 

**kogayne:** fine

**kogayne:** the 8 AMs lance was talking about are for the aerospace major so i have them with him

**kogayne:** most of my afternoons are free after that

**kogayne:** fridays are chill

**lanceylance:** ^^ mine too!!!!

**takashmeoutside:** what abt ur busiest

**lanceylance:** -_- wednesdays, smack in the middle of my week

**kogayne:** tuesdays and thursdays

**mamamcclain:** you boys will be fine

**lanceylance:** mmmmmmm will we be tho

**mamamcclain:** yes, you will

**kogayne:** thanks for the vote of confidence

**mamamcclain:** :)

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** ur dying to know, aren’t you

**takashmeoutside:** i have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, brother of mine

**kogayne:** sHiRo

**takashmeoutside:** why do i feel like u dropped both and ur just gonna pursue a minor or something

**kogayne:** well first of all you’d be wrong

**takashmeoutside:** so you chose one, and one of the two we talked about and not just a random third that came out of nowhere

**kogayne:** yeah

**takashmeoutside:** and what did your gut tell you

**kogayne:** i went with the art major

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** i had to

**kogayne:** like i talked to dos santos about it

**kogayne:** and he was laying out the paths for the forensics major and the art major and?? art just

**kogayne:** felt better to me

**kogayne:** i’m already spending a large chunk of my day surrounded by science and if i’d pursued a second science major it would have just

**kogayne:** gone downhill

**kogayne:** plus it dipped a lot into law and i’m not gonna do that to myself

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna even think about grad school, let alone LAW SCHOOL

**takashmeoutside:** so u officially picked up an art major 

**kogayne:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** and how do u feel about this

**kogayne:** ...better than i expected

**kogayne:** way better

**kogayne:** like

**kogayne:** you know when you have a choice to make and you think you’re not sure so you tell someone else they can choose and as soon as you say it you know exactly which option you want and you spend brief moments panicking hoping the other person chooses right 

**takashmeoutside:** that was alarmingly specific and i’m even more afraid bc i relate

**kogayne:** it was kinda like that when i was choosing

**kogayne:** like “well here it goes, i’m about to fuck up my future forever”

**kogayne:** and i explained everything and when i said i wanted to pursue the art major as my second, even tho it was like, completely unrelated to my science major 

**kogayne:** i felt lighter??

**takashmeoutside:** that’s called “u made the right choice and this is going to benefit you in the long run”

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** i guess it was just that like

**kogayne:** everyone at school saw me as like

**kogayne:** “oooh edgy loner kid who’s into crime and cryptids and shit” and like?? nope he can’t be an artist of any kind sorry that’s not how that works

**takashmeoutside:** well congrats on proving them wrong

**kogayne:** haven’t proved them wrong yet

**kogayne:** lmao i haven’t told anyone except you

**takashmeoutside:** and u don’t have to

**kogayne:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**takashmeoutside:** ah yes, the “mmm but i’m gonna marry lance one day so i have to tell him everything bc it’s only right” mmm

**kogayne:** sTOP CALLING ME OUT LIKE THIS

**kogayne:** and YES i’m gonna tell him bc i let it slip to him one night when we were discussing possible majors that art seemed kinda cool and he’S BEEN SIDE-EYING ME ALL DAY

**takashmeoutside:** “i haven’t told anyone except you”

**kogayne:** that i’m going thROUGH WITH IT

**kogayne:** of course he knew that i kinda sorta had it as an option

**kogayne:** i spend half of my nights with him do u know how often we have Deep Midnight Talks

**takashmeoutside:** debating mothman’s moral alignment isn’t a deep midnight talk, that’s called “oh god the sleep deprivation has gotten worse”

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck

**kogayne:** i gotta go nowww got another lecture to attend

**takashmeoutside:** i forgot how many lectures there were at orientation wfebgwrfgr

**kogayne:** TOO MANY I’M SLEEPING THROUGH THIS ONE

 

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** guysguysguysguysguys

**mattata:** gals and non-binary pals,

**carrierpidgeon:** HUSH MATHEMATICS

**mattata:** NO I’M HERE TO BEAR WITNESS

**kogayne:** witness to what

**hunkerdunker:** did someone hurt pidge

**lanceylance:** who are we killing

**shayfromstatefarm:** how deep do i need to make the pit we’re throwing the body in

**allurable:** ...what the fuck is wrong with u people

**mattata:** NO ONE NEEDS MURDERING

**lanceylance:** ...damn

**carrierpidgeon:** i know u all told me to take it slow but uhh i came to the conclusion that if i don’t make things official with emily by the end of the week i am going to spontaneously combust

**kogayne:** DON’T DROP AN “I LOVE YOU” UNTIL SEVERAL MONTHS IN

**lanceylance:** keith dropped his first “i love you” on my birthday

**mattata:** his first,,, so did u say it before him or was it the first in the relationship

**lanceylance:** first in the relationship, i was Shooketh

**lanceylance:** pidge are u gonna make emily Shooketh

**carrierpidgeon:** I DUNNO??? WE’RE STILL NOT EVEN OFFICIAL GIRLFRIENDS YET

**mattata:** u cuddled all night last night

**carrierpidgeon:** pLATONIC CUDDLES ARE A THING YOU AND ALLURA DID THEM 24/7

**allurable:** well guess they weren’t as platonic as we thought bc look where we are now

**lanceylance:** listen,, hunk and i cuddle quite often

**hunkerdunker:** notasoftenasyouandkeiththo

**lanceylance:** HE’S TOUCH-STARVED LEAVE HIM ALONE

**kogayne:** someone cuddle me

**kogayne:** pls

**kogayne:** anyone

**kogayne:** i just like physical affection

**kogayne:** lance happens to be very physically affectionate

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** but i will take cuddles

**kogayne:** from ANYONE

**takashmeoutside:** ^^^ he really will

**shayfromstatefarm:** solution: squad cuddle pile

**lanceylance:** but when

**allurable:** :O PERFECT PLUG

**allurable:** UR ALL INVITED TO MY 4TH OF JULY PARTY ON THE 4TH OF JULY, WHICH JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A WEEK FROM TOMORROW

**lanceylance:** aaaand then i leave that thursday afternoon for cuba bet

**kogayne:** okay so the depression hours start july 5th—

**lanceylance:** nO U WILL NOT BE DEPRESSED U WILL BE FINE

**carrierpidgeon:** MORE! CRYPTID! HUNTS! DAMMIT!

**kogayne:** F I N E

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmao guess who i just saw with another tour group bragging abt his fuckin business major

**kogayne:** ...who

**lanceylance:** why did i just feel a sudden wave of imminent doom

**shayfromstatefarm:** so yesterday hunk and i were speculating abt other kids we might know who are going to arus who perhaps might show up at orientation

**shayfromstatefarm:** and uhh

_ (1) photo from  _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** worst case-scenario happened

**kogayne:** NO

**kogayne:** THE DAY WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO END ARE U FUCKIGN KIDDING ME

**hunkerdunker:** i really wanna say “wow i can’t believe they took him after an expulsion” but like,, a legacy student

**kogayne:** BUT HIS DAD’S ALSO A SHITHEAD WHY WOULD THEY TAKE HIS SATANSPAWN SON

**kogayne:** ohhhh my gOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

**lanceylance:** can’t we like, take his past shit to an administrator or something?

**shayfromstatefarm:** i dunno,,

**hunkerdunker:** he hasn’t done anything on campus yet,,, as far as we know of, and he could always make the claim “oh i saw the light blah blah blah”

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^^ i also wouldn’t put it past his fam to pay big bucks to get him here, which means arus would be,, unwilling to take action depending on how much they value that money

**hunkerdunker:** and like...maybe he has changed? maybe?

**lanceylance:** MMM OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT

**lanceylance:** HE’S A BUSINESS MAJOR WHICH MEANS WE’LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE HIM WHICH MEANS UNTIL HE DOES ANYTHING OR RECOGNIZES US WE’RE GONNA BE HAPPY WITH OUR LIVES BC ARUS IS A FANTASTIC SCHOOL AND WE DIDN’T WORK OUR ASSES OFF TO SUFFER

**kogayne:** i mean, the whole concept of college is suffering just to suffer more,,

**lanceylance:** HUSH SIR MULLET

**kogayne:** >:|||||

**kogayne:** WHY ARE U BOOING ME I’M RIGHT

**shayfromstatefarm:** WOW DIDN’T MEAN TO START A FIGHT JUST MEANT TO PUT A WARNING OUT THERE

**kogayne:** warning Ignored we’ve gotten our ID cards, we’re going to get our luggage, and then we’re LEAVING

**shayfromstatefarm:** mood

**shayfromstatefarm:** rax is on his wayyy

**hunkerdunker:** moms stayed overnight in the campus hotel i’m OUTTA HERE LATER LOSERS

**lanceylance:** wow tell us how u really feel

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**hunkerdunker:** update i am Not out of here

**kogayne:** OH HOW THE TURNTABLES

**hunkerdunker:** there’s like, a major accident five minutes after u get on the highway

**hunkerdunker:** hour-long delays at least

**lanceylance:** eXCUSE ME /HOW LONG/??

**shayfromstatefarm:** FUCK RAX AND I JUST HIT IT YOU COULDN’T HAVE SENT THIS TEXT TWO MINUTES AGO

**kogayne:** i mean,, we could try the back roads but idk the area well enough

**lanceylance:** gps

**hunkerdunker:** won’t it take u back to the highway and ignore the accident

**lanceylance:** do u not have a newer GPS

**lanceylance:** those shits track accidents in real time

**hunkerdunker:** well then i guess not

**kogayne:** well

**kogayne:** anyway thanks for the head’s up, lance and i will figure something out

 

**_IMPORTANT FAM BUSINESS_ **

**lanceylance:** hi mama hi shiro keith and i are gonna be several hours late coming home probably

**takashmeoutside:** ...why?

**lanceylance:** there was an accident on the highway dON’T WORRY WE WEREN’T THE ONES IN THE ACCIDENT but there are massive delays

**lanceylance:** so we’re gonna cruise around the towns surrounding campus and probably get a little lost before we resort to gps and hopefully by then the delays will be gone

**mamamcclain:** alright then, have fun, be safe! 

**lanceylance:** keith’s a good driver he’ll keep us safe

**takashmeoutside:** somehow i still don’t believe that keith is the safer driver

**mamamcclain:** lance? care to make a statement?

**lanceylance:** uhhh GOTTA GO SPOTTY SERVICE BYEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO SO THAT FIRE ALARM BULLSHIT REALLY HAPPENED AND IT WAS REALLY JUST MY TOWER
> 
> listen,,, i'm in a snap group that kids made ahead of the orientation so we could find friends, and we had some smug fuckers sending pics from other sections of the building like "lmaoooo" and oTHER KIDS waking up the next morning who had the fortune to say "i slept through that lol" while i was fUCKIN PANICKING BC I COULDN'T SEE
> 
> anyway the rest of my day was great i'm p happy with my schedule sooo yEAH 
> 
> i wanna say "i'm gonna go work on the wizard101 au now" but uhhh i'm Wiped Out and imma probably end up falling asleep
> 
> see y'all in the next one


	6. SHAY DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's shay's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shay is too good for this world, too pure
> 
> the others are not
> 
> **trigger warning for casual discussion of death (i don't thiiiiink it should be super triggering but everyone's triggers are different so this is here as a precaution, it begins when the retirement talk begins)**

**_SUMMER SQUAD_ **

**_hunkerdunker_ ** _renamed_ **_SUMMER SQUAD_ ** _to_ **_SHAY DAY_ **

**hunkerdunker:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAYYYYYYY

 **hunkerdunker:** I LOVE YOU I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

 **hunkerdunker:** I’M VVV EXCITED TO SEE YOU TODAY I LOVE YOUUUU HAPPPPPYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYY

 **shayfromstatefarm:** egrtegrgdbrgfs HUNK I LOVE U TOO BUT HOW MUCH SLEEP DID U GET

 **hunkerdunker:** I WAS UP ALL NIGHT COOKING

 **lanceylance:** and the man yells at us to sleep smh

 **lanceylance:** ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAY!!!!

 **carrierpidgeon:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONORARY OLDER SISTER I LOVE U

 **shayfromstatefarm:** THANK U GUYS I LOVE U

 **kogayne:** happy birthday shay!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** keith u ruined our caps lock train

 **kogayne:** my job

 **shayfromstatefarm:** fgetrgwgrew but thANK U

 **allurable:** SHAY!!! MY SWEET DAUGHTER!!! HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS!!

 **allurable:** also lance ruined it first :P

 **kogayne:** (1) loyal hoe in this house

 **allurable:** (⌐■_■)

 **kogayne:** (⌐■_■)

 **lanceylance:** BETRAYAL

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ALLURA GDERGWREWFGS THANK U I LOVE U ALSO U RIGHT

 **lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

 **takashmeoutside:** happy birthday shay

 **shayfromstatefarm:** another lowercase league member

 **takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **shayfromstatefarm:** BUT ALSO THANK U

 **mattata:** WOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY BI CHILD OF MINE

 **shayfromstatefarm:** DFGERWGFWE THANSK MATT

 **lanceylance:** thansk

 **shayfromstatefarm:** fUCK WAIT NO

 **carrierpidgeon:** thansk

 **kogayne:** thansk

 **hunkerdunker:** thansk

 **allurable:** thansk

 **mattata:** thansk

 **takashmeoutside:** thansk

 **shayfromstatefarm:** you’re all dead to me you’re all uninvited from my party

 **shayfromstatefarm:** hunk u can just drop ur food off

 **hunkerdunker:** :O I AM HURT

 **shayfromstatefarm:** tragic

 **hunkerdunker:** shay pls i’ll do anything,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** anything?

 **hunkerdunker:** ANYTHING

 _(1) photo from_ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** THEN PERISH

 **hunkerdunker:** fINE THEN

 **hunkerdunker:** IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **lanceylance:** WHO ARE U, KEITH

 **kogayne:** TEAM PANIC TEAM PANIC TEAM PANIC

 **carrierpidgeon:** what are we panicking about

 **kogayne:** uhh personally? the album that dropped last week that’s some gOOD SHIT

 **kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** have u listened to it yet

 **lanceylance:** uhhh no

 **lanceylance:** i mEANT TO

 **kogayne:** LISTEN TO THIS

 _(1) audio file from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** this is the overpass

 **kogayne:** it reminds me of us if we were in a 1920s spy au

 **lanceylance:** “1920s spy au” are u a closet fanfic writer

 **lanceylance:** do u spend ur time writing about us

 **kogayne:** um obviously /you’re/ the closet fic writer mr. “lemme just give prince lanceylance and his hot knight an extensive backstory”

 **lanceylance:** rgebtdtegrdbe

 **kogayne:** but ANYWAY it’s not a me song, it’s a you song

 **lanceylance:** mmm lemme give it a listen

 **kogayne:** also listen to dancing’s not a crime

 _(1) audio file from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** it’s also an us song

 **lanceylance:** okie doke

 

**_SHAY DAY_ **

**takashmeoutside:** yeah, pray for the wicked’s a bop

 **carrierpidgeon:** emooooooooooooooooooos

 **kogayne:** URIE ISN’T JUST FOR THE EMOS ANYMORE PIDGE

 **carrierpidgeon:** “anymore”

 **carrierpidgeon:** anyhoo the broganes are emos and i stand firmly by what i said,,

 **kogayne:** shut ur fuck we agreed ur on the emo side of the scale with us

 **carrierpidgeon:** shh we don’t talk about that

 **shayfromstatefarm:** listen keith is right pray for the wicked is a freaking party album and we’re playing it at this party

 **kogayne:** INTELLECTUAL

 **carrierpidgeon:** the second betrayal of the morning and it’s only 10 AM what is this bullshit

 **carrierpidgeon:** lance we’re starting the betrayal battalion, for everyone who’s been betrayed this morning

 **lanceylance:** hmmmmm

 **lanceylance:** betrayal battalion...boyfriend…betrayal battalion...boyfriend

 **carrierpidgeon:** if someone betrays him he can join us

 **takashmeoutside:** WELL,

 **kogayne:** PIDGE

 **kogayne:** SHIRO

 **lanceylance:** WHAT KEITH TEA ARE WE SPILLING TODAY

 **allurable:** POUR ONE OUT KASHI

 **shayfromstatefarm:** O.O WHAT’S UP

 **kogayne:** ohmygodihateallofyou

 **lanceylance:** SORRY BABE BUT THIS IS TOO GOOD TO PASS UP

 **kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **takashmeoutside:** okay so y’all know how keith has a fixation upon hippos

 **kogayne:** oh ym godi t’s not a fixation they’re just my favorite animal

 **takashmeoutside:** have i ever showed u all the video of keith ranting about his baby crush on lance to his hippo pillow pet

 **kogayne:** did u know i fucking hate u

 **takashmeoutside:** this had to be what...7th grade?

 **lanceylance:** ohmygodyouwerepiningforyears

 **kogayne:** update everyone takashi shirogane is dead to me

 **shayfromstatefarm:** rgtrhewgtgwregw SEND IT

 **carrierpidgeon:** SHOW US THE PINING FOOL

 **carrierpidgeon:** jk i already knew about the pining fool bc he whined to me too

 **kogayne:** i still find it a miracle pidge kept her mouth shut bc nOW SHE’S A GREMLIN

 **carrierpidgeon:** :)

 _(1) video from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** here we go

 **kogayne:** i’m going to kick ur ass where are u

 **takashmeoutside:** nowhere that u need to know

 **mattata:** according to his snapchats he’s chilling out and reading the newspaper in the backyard

 **takashmeoutside:** MATT

 **kogane:** (1) LOYAL HOE IN THIS HOUSE

 **allurable:** WHAT ABOUT ME

 **kogayne:** “POUR ONE OUT KASHI”

 **kogayne:** SHIRO I’M COMIN TO KICK UR ASS

 **takashmeoutside:** you wouldn’t

 **takashmeoutside:** oh

 **takashmeoutside:** oH SHIT

 _(1) photo from_ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK EGTREGDGREDBEGR

 **hunkerdunker:** how did they survive so many years as one big squad

 **mattata:** “survive” is a good word for it

 **allurable:** a lot of determination

 **mattata:** too many diner trips

 **carrierpidgeon:** forcing me to hang out with keith

 **kogayne:** reverse p-a-n

 **lanceylance:** MY FAVORITE GAME

 **hunkerdunker:** nap?

 **kogayne:** whenever i was being too annoying for shiro we would play it

 **shayfromstatefarm:** wow u came back quick where’s shiro

 **kogayne:** he locked himself in the bathroom

 **kogayne:** but no anyway i didn’t understand the game for a while bc there was too much in my head going on for me to reverse the letters

 **kogayne:** but the basic concept of the game is whoever can lie still for the longest without making a noise won

 **kogayne:** i had to win

 **mattata:** it took pidge spelling it out for them to get pissed and realize

 **kogayne:** shhhh

 **lanceylance:** i love that game i play it with clara and javier all the time

 **lanceylance:** except clara figured it out but she’s sworn to secrecy

 **lanceylance:** sometimes i slide her a dollar if she’s rlly good about it

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ur bribing ur nibling

 **lanceylance:** NIBLING

 **hunkerdunker:** NIBLING??

 **shayfromstatefarm:** gender neutral for nieces and nephews

 **shayfromstatefarm:** shorter too

 **carrierpidgeon:** niblings makes me picture those pretzel bites u get at the mall

 **mattata:** ^^^ it sounds cannibalistic

 **shayfromstatefarm:** i was gonna say “what’s wrong with u people” but ur the token white people in the chat so i guess this is par for the course

 **hunkerdunker:** TOKEN WHITE PEOPLE I’M CHOKING

 **lanceylance:** FRETFNERGTERGWRDBRG

 **mattata:** gotta live up to my white dad rep

 **mattata:** shay i’m showing up to ur party in a polo and khakis and white new balance sneakers

 **carrierpidgeon:** ohmygod

 **carrierpidgeon:** someone spare me

 **shayfromstatefarm:** this is what u get for forming the betrayal battalion

 **shayfromstatefarm:** suffer

 **carrierpidgeon:** BETRAYED AGAIN

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** wOW so i listened to them and then i listened to the whole album

 **lanceylance:** the least emo album yet

 **kogayne:** so anyway ur dead to me—

 **lanceylance:** shut up u love me

 **kogayne:** i do

 **kogayne:** what’s ur fave song

 **lanceylance:** dON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE

 **kogayne:** ALRIGHT FINE I WON’T

 **lanceylance:** why what was urs

 **kogayne:** ...moving on

 **lanceylance:** SEE U CAN’T CHOOSE EITHER

 **lanceylance:** ANYWAY

 **lanceylance:** ARE YOU FREE TUESDAY

 **kogayne:** what’s tuesday, the 3rd?

 **lanceylance:** yeah

 **kogayne:** yeah i’m free, what’s up?

 **lanceylance:** okay so like, i go away thursday afternoon

 **lanceylance:** and we’ve got allura’s party on wednesday

 **lanceylance:** so i wanted to spend one last super long day with u before i leave

 **lanceylance:** and ur deprived of me for three weeks

 **kogayne:** lance rebtghtregw

 **lanceylance:** so like

 **lanceylance:** town fireworks are tuesday night, right?? down at the beach

 **lanceylance:** and there’s also the carnival going on down there too

 **lanceylance:** so like

 **lanceylance:** i was wondering

 **lanceylance:** if u maybe wanted to spend the day with me at the beach

 **lanceylance:** and then we go to the carnival when it gets dark, watch the fireworks, ride some rides

 **lanceylance:** maybekissalittle,,,

 **kogayne:** stop ur making me blush

 **lanceylance:** pics or it didn’t happen

 _(3) photos from_ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** these are gonna be used against me later aren’t they

 **lanceylance:** um of course they are what kind of boyfriend would i be if i didn’t bring ur cute face up every minute of the day

 **kogayne:** lance stoooooooooooooooop

 **lanceylance:** NEVER

 **lanceylance:** i’m gonna kiss u at the top of the ferris wheel mark my words

 **kogayne:** MMM NEVERMINDNOT FREE CAN’T GO WHOOPSIEDAISY

 **lanceylance:** oh shut ur fuck

 **lanceylance:** u free or not

 **kogayne:** YES YES I’M FREE but don’t u have to pack

 **lanceylance:** that’s a tomorrow and monday problem

 **lanceylance:** i wanna spend a last day with u

 **lanceylance:** like, just u

 **lanceylance:** and not the entire squad

 **lanceylance:** bc i want to love and cherish u and make up for what i’m gonna miss while i’m gone

 **kogayne:** i can’t make words go right now but i wanna give u better than just a scream

 **lanceylance:** i mean i could come over and we could forget words entirely

 **kogayne:** DFBNBGREBGER

 **lanceylance:** /am i bringing u to shay’s or not/

 **kogayne:** holy shit yes u are

 **kogayne:** i love u

 **lanceylance:** I LOVE U TOO  <33333333 :)

 **kogayne:** :D

 **lanceylance:** WHOA AN OPEN SMILE U NEVER SEND THOSE

 **kogayne:** perhaps i’m trying to break out of my shell a little bit here before we go off to college

 **lanceylance:** turning into a beautiful butterfly

 **kogayne:** okay last time we checked /shay/ was the bi butterfly

 **lanceylance:** dgfhredbgef

 **kogayne:** :P

 **kogayne:** but yeah u right

 **lanceylance:** i’m so fuckin proud of you

 **lanceylance:** i’m coming over now i wanna see u

 **kogayne:** door’s open  <3

 **lanceylance:** omw

 

**_hunkerdunker > shayfromstatefarm_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hi hello i’m coming over early ur grandmother requested it

 **shayfromstatefarm:** /why are u always talking to gram/

 **hunkerdunker:** listen ur grandmother is a GEM

 **shayfromstatefarm:** bUT WHY IS SHE TALKING TO U

 **hunkerdunker:** BC I’M ALSO A GEM

 **shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK

 **hunkerdunker:** WHAT, ARE U ABOUT TO TELL ME I’M /WRONG/

 **shayfromstatefarm:** FWRTGGRWRGER NO BUT WHY ARE U LIKE THIS

 **hunkerdunker:** I’M A GIFT TO THIS WORLD

 **shayfromstatefarm:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **hunkerdunker:** :O

 **shayfromstatefarm:** ;D

 **hunkerdunker:** MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

 **shayfromstatefarm:** so anyway what did gram tell you then

 **hunkerdunker:** i gotta come over early w the food i already made and then help her finish up with whatever she’s got

 **shayfromstatefarm:** wow i can’t believe i’m losing my boyfriend to my grandma

 **hunkerdunker:** well,,, ur grandma,,,

 **shayfromstatefarm:** SCREENSHOTTED

 **hunkerdunker:** wAIT WAIT NO

 **shayfromstatefarm:** RIP RIP POTATO CHIP

 **hunkerdunker:** SHAY NO

 

**_SHAY DAY_ **

_(1) photo from_ **_shayfromstatefarm_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** LOOK AT THIS

 **hunkerdunker:** NO

 **allurable:** ohmygfsdodg

 **kogayne:** well

 **lanceylance:** smh i always knew hunk was hiding something from me

 **hunkerdunker:** ergtergwgrewef IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

 **lanceylance:** that’s some pretty incriminating evidence right there tho

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :)

 **hunkerdunker:** i can’t believe this

 **takashmeoutside:** well so far we’ve exposed keith and hunk today, who’s next on the exposure list

 **shayfromstatefarm:** save it for the party so we can roast them in person

 **carrierpidgeon:** slytherin shay keeps peeking out

 **allurable:** nono that’s gryffindor shay

 **allurable:** slytherins would be more on the dl about it

 **carrierpidgeon:** okay but the weasley is our king thing in like,,, goblet of fire or whichever book that was

 **allurable:** order of the phoenix u fake fan

 **takashmeoutside:** [adds pidge to the exposed list as a fake harry potter fan]

 **carrierpidgeon:** i cAN’T BELIEVE THIS

 **hunkerdunker:** oh how the turntables

 **allurable:** her secondary is slytherin too smh

 **carrierpidgeon:** leave me alooooooooooooooooooooooone

 **allurable:** nope

 **takashmeoutside:** no can do

 **mattata:** [sips capri sun and continues eating popcorn]

 **carrierpidgeon:** u all are the wORST OLDER SIBLINGS EVER

 **takashmeoutside:** that’s my job i thought we established that

 **carrierpidgeon:** retire already

 **takashmeoutside:** where’s the fun in retirement

 **carrierpidgeon:** “where’s the fun in retirement” did i hear that correctly

 **hunkerdunker:** well this is a text-based conversation so i’m gonna go with no

 **carrierpidgeon:** I AM BEING ATTACKED

 **takashmeoutside:** real talk tho at the rate things are going my generation will never retire i’m probably gonna drop dead at a cash register at age 95

 **kogayne:** 95’s a bit hopeful isn’t it

 **takashmeoutside:** not at the rate medicine is advancing

 **kogayne:** but will u be able to /afford/ it

 **takashmeoutside:** ...drop dead at a register at age 85

 **kogayne:** i feel like 80 is a more reasonable estimate

 **takashmeoutside:** keith is going to die at age 18

 **kogayne:** wh

 **kogayne:** GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND SQUARE UP

 **shayfromstatefarm:** he’s STILL hiding in the bathroom?

 **takashmeoutside:** in my defense i kNOW keith is sitting on the other side of the door waiting, so

 **kogayne:** FIGHT ME

 **lanceylance:** keith is, in fact, sitting on the other side of the door

 _(1) photo from_ **_lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** WHEN DID U GET HERE

 **lanceylance:** like 20 minutes ago

 **lanceylance:** i’ve mostly just been petting ur cat

 **takashmeoutside:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

 **allurable:** there are apparently a lot of things this chat can’t believe today

 **hunkerdunker:** apparently

 **hunkerdunker:** anyway now that shay’s exposed me i’m gonna go so i can go to her house and help finish up party prep

 **lanceylance:** and so u can hang out w her grandma

 **hunkerdunker:** LANCE

 **lanceylance:** ;D

 

**_< 3_ **

**allurable:** what’s the carpool situation

 **takashmeoutside:** well hunk already went over and lance is apparently taking keith

 **mattata:** i’ve been placed on pidge duty per the parental units

 **mattata:** i have room in my car but if u wanna Not do that i would understand completely

 **takashmeoutside:** so matt what time are u picking us up,

 **allurable:** ^^^

 **mattata:** dfgfnedbg i’m leaving in ten minutes, i’ll get kashi first and then allura

 **mattata:** fair warning pidge already called shotgun

 **allurable:** of course she did

 **takashmeoutside:** that’s cool i’m good w the back

 **allurable:** ^^

 **mattata:** smh u two get to snuggle while i gotta be the Good Driver

 **takashmeoutside:** of course :P

 **mattata:** fake bf and gf

 **allurable:** the only thing fake about me is my hair color

 

 **_takashmeoutside_ ** _added_ **_mattata_ ** _,_ **_kogayne_ ** _, and_ **_carrierpidgeon_ ** _to_ **_og squad_ **

**takashmeoutside:** what time did u plan on leaving this party

 **kogayne:** uhhh shay’s grandmother said we can leave at any time, and they’re doing a bonfire, so probably not till late

 **kogayne:** when were u leaving?

 **takashmeoutside:** olia just called and said she needs me and matt on the late shift for something, it’s like, urgent or whatever, so we’re dipping no later than 6 with allura

 **kogayne:** alright

 **kogayne:** well i’m probably gonna stay rlly late, so

 **carrierpidgeon:** :O who’s bringing me home

 **kogayne:** lance and i can

 **kogayne:** seeing as i overheard hunk saying he’s gonna be sleeping over

 **carrierpidgeon:** smh i have to go with klance

 **kogayne:** fight me

 **mattata:** keith if u and lance don’t get her home safe i will murk u

 **kogayne:** jEEZ ALRIGHT

 **kogayne:** I DIDN’T BABYSIT HER FOR YEARS FOR NOTHING

 **mattata:** i’m watchin u

 **kogayne:** aLRIGHT BYE

 

**_carrierpidgeon > mattata_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m home safe

 **carrierpidgeon:** do u know how loudly lance and keith sing in the car

 **mattata:** fgdfnrdr

 **carrierpidgeon:** SERIOUSLY THEY’RE SO LOUD

 **mattata:** listen they got u home so i rlly don’t care how loudly they sing

 **carrierpidgeon:** my eardrums are  c r y i n g

 **mattata:** suffer

 **carrierpidgeon:** smh awfUL BROTHER

 **mattata:** ;D WOULDN’T BE AN OLDER BROTHER IF I WASN’T (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

 

**_SHAY DAY_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** thanks for the great birthday everyone!! :D

 **kogayne:** ur welcome

 **lanceylance:** wHAT CAN I SAYYYYY EXCEPT UR WELCOME

 **hunkerdunker:** love u shay  <3333

 **takashmeoutside:** thanks for having us!!

 **shayfromstatefarm:** :D imma go good niiiiiight

 **hunkerdunker:** im going too ;)

 **lanceylance:** OWO WHAT’S THAT

 **hunkerdunker:** shhh

 **kogayne:** good night sleep tight

 **lanceylance:** don’t let the stds bite

 **lanceylance:** use protection xoxo

 **shayfromstatefarm:** drtrhegtgterg

 **hunkerdunker:** DEAD TO ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) yes i just listened to pray for the wicked fiNALLY  
> 2) on the "token white people" comment, i'm a White People, feel free to call me out at any time i wanna be educated pls n thank
> 
> anyway i've got a party to go to
> 
> see y'all in the next one, also hopefully i get a fanfic update in sometime in the next two days that ISN'T this or esotnssm :P 
> 
> currently working on both prompt d for the abc thing (yeah, that thing, still exists) and the first chapter of the w101 au, so...we'll see BYEEE


	7. 'murica day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> american independence day is upon us. also, it's lance's last day with the team for three ~~huehuehuehuehuehuehuehue~~ weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmMMmmmMmmmmMmmMMmmmMMMMmmm the amount of illegal explosions that have made me literally jump out of chair and SCREAM...i wish the number was zero, but it is not (IT'S STILL LIGHT OUT U FUCKIN HEATHENS)

**_SHAY DAY_ **

**_mattata_ ** _ renamed  _ **_SHAY DAY_ ** _ to  _ **_BABY YOU’RE A FIREWORK_ **

**mattata:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR WHILE FIREWORK BY KATY PERRY PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AS FIREWORKS EXPLODE BEHIND ME, I AM WEARING NOTHING BUT AMERICAN FLAG BOXERS AND THE FLAG AS A CAPE, I CLUTCH SPARKLERS IN BOTH HANDS AS I ANIMORPH INTO A BALD EAGLE]

**mattata:** HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** GO TO BED

**lanceylance:** isn’t it bad to do anything to the flag other than wave it

**takashmeoutside:** matt burn the flag u absolute heathen don’t u know nothing

**kogayne:** watch out matt don’t let rural white america hear about this

**mattata:** yOU PEOPLE

**allurable:** sPEAKING OF FIREWORKS KEITH LANCE HOW WAS DATE DAY

**kogayne:** how did u find out abt that

**allurable:** i have sources

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** whoops

**kogayne:** listen,,, date day was fOR US

**lanceylance:** it was wonderful but for once i’m not gonna gush bc i wanna share it only with him  <3

**carrierpidgeon:** so did y’all fuck and don’t wanna tell us orrrr

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**lanceylance:** NO

**shayfromstatefarm:** do u ever regret opening the group chat

**hunkerdunker:** unfortunately

**lanceylance:** [cups hands around mouth] YOU DON’T NEED TO FUCK TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

**kogayne:** omfg can we please go back to matt and his fucking flag boxers

**kogayne:** PLEASE

**takashmeoutside:** yeah i’d rather not be subjected to this discussion

**kogayne:** tHANK YOU

**carrierpidgeon:** logic question for matt

**mattata:** logic like the musician or logic like brain stuff bc i don’t listen to logic

**carrierpidgeon:** brain stuff heathen

**mattata:** carry on

**carrierpidgeon:** if u animorphed into a bald eagle did ur boxers shrink to fit u or did they fall off bc,, u know, ur an eagle

**mattata:** good question

**mattata:** obviously they transformed bc i need to be a stylish bald eagle

**mattata:** also when i animorphed a pair of sunglasses fell out of the sky and fell perfectly onto my face bc i need to be the supreme

**shayfromstatefarm:** ARE ALL OF YOU SLEEPING ENOUGH

**takashmeoutside:** i put up with a text like that every single year

**takashmeoutside:** this is the first time he’s sent it to more people than just me and allura

**allurable:** other years have included rather unfortunate selfies so be grateful

**mattata:** I AM BEING ATTACKED

**mattata:** DON’T FUCK W ME I’LL THROW UR TEA IN THE HARBOR

**allurable:** translation: he /will/ come over and find my teabags and throw the entire box in the pool

**hunkerdunker:** a-are u serious

**allurable:** one moment pls

**shayfromstatefarm:** mATT

**mattata:** I TAKE MY AMERICA DAY VERY SERIOUSLY BC IT’S THE ONE DAY A YEAR I DON’T DRAG THE GOVERNMENT

_ (2) photos from  _ **_allurable_ **

**allurable:** 4th of july 2015

**allurable:** tea all over my pool

**mattata:** it’s a wonder her father still lets me into their house

**allurable:** truly

**mattata:** good thing he still likes me!!!

**takashmeoutside:** is it tho

**mattata:** fIGHT ME

**takashmeoutside:** when we get to allura’s in the morning we’re playing chicken

**mattata:** WHOSE SHOULDERS WOULD YOU EVEN SIT ON YOURE LIKE A BUFF DORITO

**allurable:** mINE I CAN BENCH PRESS HIM I GOT THIS

**mattata:** ALLURA YOU WILL  D I E

**allurable:** NEVER

**allurable:** CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

**mattata:** THEN WHOSE SHOULDERS AM I ON

**lanceylance:** id say i gotchu but i want in on this chicken fight and i wanna team up w keith

**hunkerdunker:** [sigh] i’ll do it

**shayfromstatefarm:** pidge u wanna team up w me and make it a whole big thing

**carrierpidgeon:** YES

**mattata:** hunk is the only bitch in this house i ever respected

**hunkerdunker:** ;P

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**allurable:** that’s fair hunk is an angel among us

**allurable:** now before we continue roasting each other i say we go to sleep considering we’re all apparently gonna be beating each other up in my pool

**allurable:** and i’d rather not anyone drown bc they were too tired to keep swimming

**lanceylance:** i’m the strongest swimmer in this group challenge accepted

**allurable:** gO TO BED

**lanceylance:** SHH I’LL BE FINE

**lanceylance:** do u know how often my family has me play lifeguard when we have get-togethers with the ocean or a pool involved

**kogayne:** do u offer mouth-to-mouth services

**carrierpidgeon:** did i just read that correctly

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** i must be hallucinating i’m going to bed now

**lanceylance:** mmmm i typically don’t offer mouth-to-mouth unless it’s a serious occasion

**lanceylance:** how desperate are u ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**takashmeoutside:** PLEASE GO TO BED

**hunkerdunker:** TAKE IT OUTSIDE THE GROUP CHAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** JUST  S P A R E  U S

**kogayne:** killjoys smh

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU TWO ARE IN THE SAME PLACE JUST FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER THERE

**lanceylance:** and how do you know we aren’t doing just that

**lanceylance:** u should know by now that one of my favorite hobbies is making keith flustered

**kogayne:** sometimes i one-up him

**lanceylance:** keyword sometimes

**kogayne:** my victories aren’t as hard to come by as he makes it sound

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**carrierpidgeon:** TAKE IT OUTSIDE THE GC HEATHENS

**kogayne:** “i’m going to bed now” liar

**carrierpidgeon:** HUSH

 

**_pride month motherfuckers_ **

**swirnupanddown:** i hate this holiday for multiple reasons but i think fireworks at one in the morning takes the cake

**madplax:** well good morning to you too

**madplax:** i agree, my neighborhood sounds like a combat zone

**swirnupanddown:** idk if i should be angry since it just became the 4th an hour ago or grateful that people at least waited till it was the fourth

**dinezor:** people wait in your neighborhoods? lucky smh

**dinezor:** i’ve had fireworks going off sINCE THE WEEKEND

**dinezor:** IF I HEAR ANOTHER FIREWORK I’M GOING TO EAT YM FOOT

**madplax:** better get cookin

**madplax:** we’re gonna have fireworks going till the wee hours of the fifth probably

**floronawiththecorona:** who says “wee hours” anymore

**madplax:** i do?

**floronawiththecorona:** weirdo

**madplax:** shut ur fuck

**zethridofmyproblems:** can someone rescue me from my family tomorrow

**zethridofmyproblems:** i reaaaally don’t feel like spending the day surrounded by discourse and politics and fighting

**dinezor:** sorry can’t help same boat

**dinezor:** acxaaa?

**acxalutelynot:** yeah i can rescue you

**acxalutelynot:** just remind me in the morning

**acxalutelynot:** and remind me to drag lotor’s ass out of bed

**madplax:** speaking of the walking loreal commercial himself,

**acxalutelynot:** he’s passed out

**sippinganartini:** mood

**acxalutelynot:** he decided that if he couldn’t drown the fireworks out he’d sleep through them, and that’s exactly what he’s accomplishing

**blumpyfumpy:** you guys are all having boring nights do u wanna hear what’s happening on my street

**sarahahaha:** i’m suddenly afraid but go ahead

**lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] I HEARD CHAOS

**madplax:** oh boy, lance is here -_-

**kogayne:** say that again and we’re gonna have issues

**acxalutelynot:** and there’s the other half of klance

**kogayne:** blum u were saying

**blumpyfumpy:** thanks keith anyway

**blumpyfumpy:** i just witnessed a bunch of guys in american flag shirts rollerblading down the street drunkenly singing party in the usa

**dinezor:** you’re making that up

**blumpyfumpy:** i WISH

_ (1) video from  _ **_blumpyfumpy_ **

**madplax:** holy shit

**sarahahaha:** u live jUST DOWN THE STREET FROM ME I CAN HEAR THEM

**sarahahaha:** omfg i’m gonna go wake up emily

**carrierpidgeon:** :D WAKE UP EMILY

**sarahahaha:** ...anyway nevermind—

**carrierpidgeon:** D: <

**emandem:** HELLO I SAW PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** EM!!!

**emandem:** PIDGE!!!

**sarahahaha:** nO GO BACK TO SLEEP CHILD

**kogayne:** PIDGE ALREADY SAID SHE WAS GOING TO BED  G O T O B E D

**carrierpidgeon:** NO FUCK U

**sarahahaha:** literally why are they like this

**sarahahaha:** i’m going to sleep now

**sarahahaha:** i regret ever saying anything ever

**lanceylance:** you said ever twice

**sarahahaha:** I’VE GOT A LOT OF REGRETS

**lanceylance:** i mean, mood

**hunkerdunker:** i regret being up this late to read this group chat 

**hunkerdunker:** imma go to sLEEP GOOD NIGHT

**lanceylance:** NIGHT BUDDY!!

**hunkerdunker:** night heathen

**lanceylance:** >:O

**acxalutelynot:** do we even wanna know why he’s a heathen this time

**madplax:** was it klance again

**hunkerdunker:** oh obviously

**lanceylance:** alRIGHT BYE HOPPING OUT TOO TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH MY FAVORITE PERSON, ASSHOLES

**kogayne:** good night everyone i love lance mcclain

**swirnupanddown:** lmao is it a good night when i can’t sleep bc the neighborhood doesn’t wanna stop blowing things up

**dinezor:** ah yes yet another sleepless week in july bc people like to blow things up as a means of celebrating a holiday built upon colonization to glorify a shitty country

**madplax:** let it be known here and now that any and all fourth of july celebrating on my part is purely ironic

**sarahahaha:** mood

**_swirnupanddown_ ** _ renamed  _ **_pride month motherfuckers_ ** _ to  _ **_4th of julet’s overthrow the government_ **

**swirnupanddown:** we’re gonna have to change it again but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**blumpyfumpy:** EXCELLENT

**zethridofmyproblems:** FINALLY

**acxalutelynot:** oh dear

 

**_BABY YOU’RE A FIREWORK_ **

**mattata:** GOOD MORNING EVERYONE WHO’S READY FOR A PARTY WITH THE ALTEAAAAS

**allurable:** lmao i should warn u now, coran is coming and so are a bunch of my dad’s friends

**allurable:** matt pidge ur parents are coming too fdgfgdrff

**mattata:** DAD LIED TO ME

**takashmeoutside:** :O /sam/

**mattata:** well now he’s gonna see shiro hand my ass to me on a silver platter when we play chicken

**carrierpidgeon:** ur getting ur ass handed to u by shiro, lance, AND me

**mattata:** why do so many people wanna touch my butt

**lanceylance:** excuse me i do /not/ want to touch ur butt

**carrierpidgeon:** why did u have to phrase it like that matt

**mattata:** my...duty

**hunkerdunker:** excuse me are u 5

**mattata:** on a scale of 1 to 4

**kogayne:** i thought for sure he’d fuck up and say on a scale of 1 to 10

**mattata:** occasionally i display my intelligence

**carrierpidgeon:** occasionally

**mattata:** sometimes u gotta get thru life by playing up to the dumb blond stereotype

**lanceylance:** i’m not blond but wOW WHAT A MOOD

**mattata:** oh really now

**lanceylance:** u don’t know how often people have mistaken me for being an idiot bc i like parties and i’m not the greatest at math and english isn’t even my fIRST LANGUAGE

**lanceylance:** wbu

**mattata:** i did sports when i was little and i was blond and a little bit of a flirt before hs

**mattata:** i grew out of it p much as soon as freshman year started and they started diving our classes instead of lumping us into one general class

**mattata:** oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** dude dude dude dude if we were all like, secret agents or something, we would’ve been the people that got sent in to play the role of the airheads scoping out the scene to get info from people who constantly underestimate us bc we’re too pretty for them

**shayfromstatefarm:** what did i just read

**lanceylance:** tHE TRUTH

**mattata:** my backup in that situation would definitely be shiro

**allurable:** mmm and why him and not me

**mattata:** bc obviously you’re prettier than i am but you’d never downplay ur intelligence, ur too good, u would throw the whole mission

**allurable:** fair enough

**mattata:** i’m gonna guess lance is still weak for keith

**lanceylance:** he pulls off broody way too well

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** brb gonna go file “spy squad” under “things i need to think abt and give a backstory to”

**hunkerdunker:** how many of those files do u have

**lanceylance:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**hunkerdunker:** hOW MANY, LANCE

**lanceylance:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** a lot

**lanceylance:** hush starlight

**carrierpidgeon:** star light star bright first star i see tonight i wish i may i wish i might resist the urge to fistfight lance tonight

**lanceylance:** that’s it the holts are going down in chicken

**lanceylance:** both of them

**lanceylance:** tAKING NO PRISONERS

**carrierpidgeon:** BRING IT ON

**lanceylance:** BET

**lanceylance:** ALLURA I’LL BE OVER SOON

**mattata:** lmao i’m headed over with pidge in two minutes

**mattata:** still thinking abt my dad lying to me wOW my parents are so fAKE

**allurable:** challenge sam and colleen to join in our chicken fight

**mattata:** u laugh but they’ll do it

**allurable:** i was 100% serious

**allurable:** i can get my dad and coran to do it

**takashmeoutside:** question that’s been nagging me for like, a year now

**allurable:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** i didn’t even ask

**allurable:** yes my dad and my godfather are a thing next question

**takashmeoutside:** hOW THE FUCK

**allurable:** they went to the restaurant u used to work at a year ago and mentioned seeing u there

**allurable:** any other questions

**lanceylance:** THIS IS NEWS TO ME HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN A THING

**allurable:** uhh years?

**mattata:** sorry i just spat my coffee all over my phone

**mattata:** i’d say spat my tea but all tea belongs in the harbor today

**carrierpidgeon:** u don’t even drink tea anyway

**mattata:** shh semantics

**mattata:** anyhoo leaving now

**takashmeoutside:** am i responsible for keith or is lance responsible for keith

**kogayne:** aaaactually i’m responsible for myself i’m leaving now lmao

**takashmeoutside:** well that solves that

**shayfromstatefarm:** leaving to get hunk now!!

**hunkerdunker:** <333

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** okay so i’m gonna sleep over at allura’s tonight with the rest of the squad and then i’ll come home really early in the morning

**lanceylance:** i promise i’ll leave enough time to finish whatever i need to finish before we leave

**mamamcclain:** are you sure you’ll wake up in time?

**lanceylance:** yes yes i promise

**lanceylance:** the others all know i have to leave so keith promised he’d help me out in the morning and make sure i was awake

**lanceylance:** i told him he didn’t have to i sWEAR he’s just stubborn and loves me way too much

**lanceylance:** jk he could never love me too much i love him aaaaaaah :D

**mamamcclain:** that’s nice mijo

**mamamcclain:** now get some sleep

**mamamcclain:** we’ll have a long flight ahead of us, and you know how airports tend to be

**lanceylance:** yep

**lanceylance:** oH ALSO IF YOU SEE BRUISES ON ME TOMORROW DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT

**mamamcclain:** did you trip and fall or something?

**mamamcclain:** what happened??

**lanceylance:** lol so uhhhh

**lanceylance:** we were playing chicken in the pool

**lanceylance:** and i decided to go up against shiro

**lanceylance:** i lost

**mamamcclain:** you /what/?

**mamamcclain:** he WHAT?

 

**_IMPORTANT FAM BUSINESS_ **

**mamamcclain:** TAKASHI SHIROGANE

**takashmeoutside:** IT WAS HIS IDEA

**kogayne:** i told him not to

**mamamcclain:** keith were you lance’s partner

**kogayne:** ...maybe

**mamamcclain:** THEN YOU STILL ENABLED HIM

**kogayne:** OKAY BUT LISTEN HE WON AGAINST PIDGE AND MATT

**takashmeoutside:** oh also colleen and sam holt? crushed coran and alfor

**mamamcclain:** THEY GOT INVOLVED TOO?

**lanceylance:** uhh

**lanceylance:** yeah

**mamamcclain:** i should’ve gone to this party

**kogayne:** I’M YELLING

**mamamcclain:** stop yelling, go to bed, my son needs to be up and out the door very early

**kogayne:** ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I’M SORRY

**kogayne:** GOOD NIGHT GUYS

**lanceylance:** good night everyone!!!

**takashmeoutside:** night

**takashmeoutside:** sorry again mrs mcclain for beating up your son because he can’t back down from a challenge

**mamamcclain:** takashi

**lanceylance:** rhnrebtegrebergd S’ALL GOOD SHIRO JUST RUN WHILE U STILL HAVE THE CHANCE

**mamamcclain:** good night

**mamamcclain:** shiro, i’m watching you

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** YOU TOLD YOUR MOM ABOUT OUR CHICKEN FIGHT

**lanceylance:** DWFDBGFEREBR I WAS WARNING HER ABOUT THE BRUISES I DIDN’T THINK SHE’D GO AFTER YOU

**takashmeoutside:** IS THAT KEITH LAUGHING IN THERE

**lanceylance:** MAYBE

**takashmeoutside:** YOU’RE BOTH DEAD TO ME

**lanceylance:** LMAO GOOD NIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmmmmm is there a potential arc i'm setting up here? mayhaps. did i plan it? lmao when do i ever plan aNYTHING (that's a lie i do more planning than u people think)
> 
> anyhoo let's play "how many arcs are gonna come into play in the next two weeks or so"  
> hmmm  
> 1.  
> 2.  
> 3.  
> 4.  
> 5.  
> 6\. 
> 
> hmmm considering abt 5 or 6, some might come in later than others, some might overlap
> 
> ;)
> 
> SEE Y'ALL IN THE NEXT ONE (should be tomorrow but we'll see how things go)


	8. and so it begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance leaves for Cuba, while Keith finally deals with the issue he's been putting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [flops onto the floor] the longest chapter of this fic so far is done
> 
> **trigger warnings for talk of abandonment, catfishing, implied parent death, discussion of Murder, casual self-deprecation, yada yada, nothing out of the ordinary here**

**_BABY YOU’RE A FIREWORK_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_BABY YOU’RE A FIREWORK_ ** _ to  _ **_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** good morning everyone i’m exhausted and i have to sit thru a nearly 6 hour flight today

**lanceylance:** if anyone could throw me into outer space that would be lovely

**allurable:** just sleep on the flight?

**lanceylance:** u don’t understand

**lanceylance:** i have the worst luck with planes

**lanceylance:** the WORST

**mattata:** you’ve piqued my interest

**mattata:** please, do tell of all the mile-high horrors you’ve endured

**lanceylance:** you mean besides my seatmate two years ago who mysteriously got up and then came back half an hour later and texted his friend about his entrance into the mile-high club

**allurable:** is this about to go places

**lanceylance:** no i think that one was the worst

**lanceylance:** but other times i’ll get seatmates who wanna talk when i wanna sleep

**lanceylance:** one time someone fell asleep on me

**lanceylance:** i’ve had multiple instances of little kids kicking my seat

**lanceylance:** WAY TOO MANY SCREAMING BABIES

**carrierpidgeon:** screaming babies? u mean hunk in horror movies?

**hunkerdunker:** do u have to call me out like this

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** gremlin

**carrierpidgeon:** ;D

**lanceylance:** getting on planes, for me, is like playing russian roulette with my potential seatmates, except the bullet is the one good seatmate i could get

**lanceylance:** and if i have to endure another flight with some tiny brat kicking my seat and their parents not doing sHIT I WILL BLOW A FUSE

**kogayne:** patience yields focus

**lanceylance:** hush

**kogayne:** why are u booing me shiro’s words are right

**takashmeoutside:** why have i been summoned

**carrierpidgeon:** hi dad!!

**takashmeoutside:** aGAIN WITH THE DAD STUFF

**takashmeoutside:** ARE U ALL AWARE SHE SENT ME THE “YOU’RE MY DAD” VINE ON FATHER’S DAY

**kogayne:** obviously

**lanceylance:** YOU ARE MY DA-AD

**hunkerdunker:** YOU’RE MY DAD!

**shayfromstatefarm:** BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

**takashmeoutside:** i’m disowning all of you

**takashmeoutside:** keith u can stay but ur on thin fucking ice

**kogayne:** how much longer until i shatter the ice

**shayfromstatefarm:** and why would you want to do that

**kogayne:** mmmmmmm because i can

**lanceylance:** can someone else pls be his impulse control for three weeks

**kogayne:** shhhhh i can be my own impulse control just not at the moment

**lanceylance:** I’M SKEPTICAL

**hunkerdunker:** if i’m his impulse control do i get paid

**kogayne:** wAIT 

**kogayne:** THAT’S ESSENTIALLY BABYSITTING

**kogayne:** I’M AN ADULT I DON’T NEED A BABYSITTER

**takashmeoutside:** wait a minute i never even got pAID TO BABYSIT HIM

**kogayne:** SHUT UR FUCK

**lanceylance:** lmao keep arguing boy’s gotta get to the airport

**lanceylance:** keith thanks for helping me out this morning uwu  <3

**hunkerdunker:** why,,, with the uwus,,,,,,,,

**lanceylance:** bc he gets aLL MY UWUS

**carrierpidgeon:** me: it’s a face

**carrierpidgeon:** my last brain cell, at 2 AM: it’s pronounced OOWOO

**lanceylance:** why does this new face have four eyes

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta match me my good bitch

**lanceylance:** well AnYwAy BYE i’ll probably text y’all to complain from the airport but i’m not trying to kill my data and battery in the car

**shayfromstatefarm:** won’t u also be killing ur data at the airport

**lanceylance:** not if i connect to the wifi (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** ALRIGHT BYE FOR REAL

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so u didn’t go to see them off?

**kogayne:** nah i saw them off this morning

**kogayne:** they were all running around, half of lance’s siblings were home for once, mrs mcclain was a frazzled mess

**kogayne:** it was easier to leave early than wait for them all to leave

**kogayne:** but also on that note i’m on house-sitting duty while they’re away

**takashmeoutside:** for free or

**kogayne:** mrs mcclain offered to pay me but i turned her down and then she looked like she was holding back from smacking me upside the head

**kogayne:** but also i got a really big hug from her so it’s okay

**takashmeoutside:** so when are they coming back, exactly?

**kogayne:** supposed to be on the 26th but we all know how travel is

**takashmeoutside:** well alrighty then

**takashmeoutside:** aside from being completely exasperated with both u and her children how /is/ mrs mcclain

**kogayne:** still wants to fight u for letting lance get hurt during chicken yesterday :P

**takashmeoutside:** I SAID I WAS SORRY RGEBGW4RERBTEGR

**kogayne:** i’m kidding she’s more upset that lance lost

**takashmeoutside:** oh phew

**kogayne:** maybe

**takashmeoutside:** why are you the way that you are

**kogayne:** i dunno, trauma?

**takashmeoutside:** wait no,

**kogayne:** shhh just accept it

**takashmeoutside:** nO

**kogayne:** it’s too late for me now

**takashmeoutside:** hush no it’s not

**kogayne:** no it’s too late bc also i waited till just now to open my inbox to check for emails from krolia/mom/i still don’t know what i’m more comfortable with calling her

**takashmeoutside:** wHY DID U WAIT THIS LONG

**kogayne:** uhh laziness

**takashmeoutside:** [squints] and it has nothing to do with anything else whatsoever

**kogayne:** believe what u want but ANYWAY

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe ur like this

**kogayne:** what a tragedy can i continue

**takashmeoutside:** i guess

**kogayne:** uhhh she went to the spot where we agreed to meet up, which was the park, and waited all day, and is very disappointed in me for never showing up

**kogayne:** but which also brought her to her next point: she has no idea what i look like and i have no idea what she looks like so then she was like “i feel like maybe you could’ve been there and i just didn’t recognize you, but i highly doubt it”

**takashmeoutside:** i’m getting flashbacks to how to train your dragon 2

**kogayne:** SHUT UP THE ENDING OF THE MOVIE TRAUMATIZED ME

**takashmeoutside:** “but a mother never forgets”

**kogayne:** I PHYSICALLY CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO REWATCH THAT MOVIE UNLESS SOMEONE’S THERE PREPARED FOR ME TO LITERALLY BREAK DOWN CAN YOU SERIOUSLY NOT TALK ABOUT IT

**takashmeoutside:** oof yike yeah sorry

**takashmeoutside:** continue

**kogayne:** so now

**kogayne:** she wants to swap selfies so we know what the other looks like

**kogayne:** thing is

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna do that, and i have no way of knowing if she’ll catfish me or something

**takashmeoutside:** and i’m guessing you’re not just gonna go catfish her

**kogayne:** listen, she tracked me down after abandoning me for years

**kogayne:** she’ll KNOW if i catfish her and i still have no idea who she is or what she’s been up to, i don’t even wanna GO THERE

**kogayne:** and she also wants to set up a new meeting date so when are you free

**takashmeoutside:** what if i said never

**kogayne:** phew—

**takashmeoutside:** /keith/

**takashmeoutside:** pretending the problem doesn’t exist won’t make it go away

**kogayne:** um just before orientation you were perfectly fine with pretending this didn’t exist hippocrates

**takashmeoutside:** last time i checked i wasn’t the father of modern medicine

**takashmeoutside:** you’re about 2400 years off the mark buddy

**kogayne:** *HYPOCRITE WHY DID AUTOCORRECT DO THAT WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** so who have u been talking to about hippocrates

**kogayne:** I HAVEN’T????

**kogayne:** okay ANYWAY THAT ASIDE

**takashmeoutside:** yeah anyway do as i say not as i do

**kogayne:** smh 

**kogayne:** when are u free granola bar

**takashmeoutside:** how soon does she wanna meet up and how soon do u wanna get this over with

**kogayne:** i’ve already expressed that i’d rather do this literally never but sooner the better i guess

**kogayne:** she wants to meet up asap i’m guessing considering i was supposed to meet her like...a week and a half ago

**takashmeoutside:** i’m free sunday

**takashmeoutside:** does sunday work for u?

**kogayne:** lmao can we do it on a weekday

**takashmeoutside:** monday

**kogayne:** deal

**kogayne:** it fits with the schedule she sent me which is suspiciously open almost every single day

**kogayne:** which begs the question: how is she getting money

**takashmeoutside:** maybe she’s just like, gotten super rich since she disappeared and doesn’t need to worry about work anymore

**kogayne:** tHEN SHE CAN PAY MY FUCKING TUITION AND YOUR STUDENT LOAN DEBT DAMMIT

**kogayne:** alright anyway email sent, no selfies attached bc fuck that

**kogayne:** i asked for one first and imma need u to verify if she looks familiar, whenever i get a response

**takashmeoutside:** u got it

**takashmeoutside:** what’s up with the rest of your day

**kogayne:** welllll now that that’s done with i picked up an extra shift at bb

**kogayne:** bc we’re down bc lance is gone and also i want money

**takashmeoutside:** alright, have fun with that, bring me home a coffee

**kogayne:** how many espresso shots

**takashmeoutside:** i’m closing i’m gonna need a lot

**kogayne:** bet

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** i hate the airport more than i hate myself

**mattata:** that last part is concerning u good buddy

**lanceylance:** yeah but ask me again when the depression really kicks in

**lanceylance:** i’m just

**lanceylance:** HUNGRY, AND TIRED, AND I DON’T LIKE IT HERE JUST LET ME GET ON THE PLANE W MY NECK PILLOW AND MY HEADPHONES AND SLEEP

**hunkerdunker:** alright count to ten dude

**lanceylance:** i’ve been counting to ten for the last HOUR

**lanceylance:** on the bright side clara and javier are both exhausted too and they passed out on me and the air conditioning in here is cranked way up so now i have two tiny blankets wow i love my niblings

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh so when /I/ SAY NIBLINGS it’s cannibalistic but when LANCE does it no one bats an eye okay I SEE

**lanceylance:** ugh at least we’re supposed to be headed out soon, then i vanish for 6 hours to sleep and also bc service is shitty when ur, oh, yeah, in a plane

**shayfromstatefarm:** not unless u pay for plane wifi

**lanceylance:** yeah so here’s what i’m Not gonna do

**shayfromstatefarm:** wfegbrgebrgfdsfw amazing

**lanceylance:** hhnngggg sorry y’all the fam’s got me sTRESSED

**mattata:** why’s ur fam got u stressed

**mattata:** general travel shit or

**lanceylance:** noooooope we got into contact with tia carmen and gUESS WHO STILL WON’T LET GO OF JACKSON?

**mattata:** oh god

**hunkerdunker:** SERIOUSLY?

**allurable:** oof is he still gross

**lanceylance:** well according to the facebook page i just scrolled thru he’s still a raging trumpet homophobe so yes

**lanceylance:** even tho tia carmen insists he’s “changed”

**hunkerdunker:** pls tell me they’re not staying in the same place as ur fam

**lanceylance:** no jackson insisted they got a hotel room nearby but STILL

**lanceylance:** WHY’S SHE GOTTA BRING HIM

**kogayne:** have u considered murder

**lanceylance:** i’m pretty sure em and i are gonna murk him in the middle of the night

**lanceylance:** and i’m also p sure she’s trying to recruit luis to help us right now

**kogayne:** alright well remember just get an unregistered boat and make sure you’re in international water and make sure u don’t get caught

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** STOP BOOING ME I’M RIGHT

**allurable:** somehow that statement doesn’t feel fully accurate but go off i guess

**kogayne:** shh just let it happen

**lanceylance:** thanks babe we’ll keep it in mind  <3333

**takashmeoutside:** keith: [literally gives lance murder advice]

**takashmeoutside:** lance: uwu what an angel

**lanceylance:** SHHH

**takashmeoutside:** STOP BOOING ME 

**allurable:** have the broganes just suddenly picked up on the “stop booing me i’m right” meme orrr

**kogayne:** IT’S A GOOD MEME

**allurable:** mmm

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE U BOOING HIM HE’S RIGHT

**mattata:** i can’t believe,

**lanceylance:** i can

**lanceylance:** wow my mom just bought me a sandwich i love (1) woman

**lanceylance:** alright imma go so i still have battery left before i get desperate enough to use a charger

**allurable:** bye lance!! have a safe flight!!!!

**lanceylance:** *bi lance

**lanceylance:** but also thank uuuuu talk to u guys later

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** lmao i needed a way out of that chat

**kogayne:** ur lucky i’m on my break and can hide this from shay and pidge smh

**lanceylance:** edwfrewfgebrgwrsd u already started ur extra shifts

**kogayne:** shhhhh don’t judge me i need  m o n e y

**lanceylance:** valid

**lanceylance:** but anyway i mostly just wanted to talk to u alone before i left bc wOW THE JACKSON SITUATION IS STRESSING ME OUT

**kogayne:** general stress or is it going to bring u to an attack

**lanceylance:** hnnnn general stress for now but if i have to see jackson’s crusty face again or eVEN TIA CARMEN SHE KNOWS HE’S A SHITHEAD WHY DID SHE BRING HIM BACK WHEN WE ALL HATE HIM

**kogayne:** it’ll be okay

**kogayne:** take comfort in the fact that literally everyone else hates him too

**kogayne:** are u gonna be spending a lot of time near him?

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaAAAAA I HAVE NO IDEA

**lanceylance:** if mamá has anything to say about it, then no, bc she’ll probably just end up joining me and em and luis on our murder train

**lanceylance:** but also ~family togetherness~ means i’ll be seeing him more than once on this trip so that’s just :)))

**kogayne:** i still don’t understand why ur aunt is dating him in the first place

**lanceylance:** BOI I WISH I KNEW

**lanceylance:** they BROKE UP i have absolutely no idea why she went back to him

**lanceylance:** hnn anyway i’m done ranting for now, i’ll keep u posted on who throws the first punch

**kogayne:** …

**kogayne:** AND IF U WANNA START A FIGHT, U BETTER THROW THE FIRST PUNCH, MAKE IT A GOOD ONE—

**lanceylance:** grbnrtegrgwrrfv shut up u nerd

**kogayne:** AND IF YOU WANNA MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT, YOU BETTER SAY MY NAME LIKE THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE DIRTY

**lanceylance:** ur lucky i’m surrounded by family rn or else i would be sending u ridiculous snapchats

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** u better text me when u land safely and then get to ur abuela’s house do u hear me

**lanceylance:** this is a text conversation—

**kogayne:** dO U READ ME

**lanceylance:** COPY

**kogayne:** ur ridiculous

**lanceylance:** wow i can’t even make the *your ridiculous joke bc it could’ve been either one

**kogayne:** mmhmmmmm

**kogayne:** how u like me now

**lanceylance:** like??? are u trying to underestimate me or something

**kogayne:** rgebtregerfr shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** okay serious question here

**lanceylance:** we’re still gonna be in the same time zone

**lanceylance:** are we gonna facetime every day

**lanceylance:** every other day

**lanceylance:** not at all?? just text? bc obviously i’m not gonna ignore u for three whole weeks

**kogayne:** whatever fits in ur schedule

**kogayne:** i’m not a needy person

**lanceylance:** that’s fair

**lanceylance:** okie doke idk how things are gonna go down but wanna aim for daily facetime?? probably not till like, late at night or early in the morning, but??

**kogayne:** yeah, that works

**kogayne:** depending on how we time it maybe i can give u live updates of my house-sitting adventures

**kogayne:** expect me to break into ur treehouse and use ur telescope literally every night

**lanceylance:** go for it babe all urs till i’m back

**lanceylance:** alright now i have to go for real

**lanceylance:** next time i text is when we’ve landed and i’m already at my abuela’s

**lanceylance:** and it’ll probably be in the gc

**kogayne:** whatever works

**kogayne:** i’ve gotta go too, pidge is glaring at me i think she’s onto us

**kogayne:** i love you, be safe, tell ur mom i love her too  <333

**lanceylance:** love youuuu  <3333

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** SO I’VE MADE IT TO MY ABUELA’S

**hunkerdunker:** pLANE STORY?

**lanceylance:** MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE STORY

**kogayne:** HOLD UP FIRST OF ALL ARE U GOOD PHYSICALLY, LIKE UR NOT HURT OR ANYTHING

**lanceylance:** NO I’M FINE I’M OKAY I SWEAR

**kogayne:** OKAY JUST CHECKING CONTINUE

**lanceylance:** THIS WAS THE WORST PLANE SEAT YET I FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN OMEN

**kogayne:** oh no

**mattata:** [chews popcorn eagerly]

**lanceylance:** LET ME SET THE SCENE FOR U

**lanceylance:** WE’RE ALL TIRED AND HUNGRY AND I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO TAKE A WELL-DESERVED NAP

**lanceylance:** I GET THE MIDDLE SEAT

**allurable:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**lanceylance:** JAVIER SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE WINDOW SEAT AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT EVERYTHING HE SEES OUT THE WINDOW

**lanceylance:** I LOVE HIM BUT I WANTED TO PUNT HIM

**kogayne:** this is the first lance has ever mentioned wanting to punt a nibling the sleep deprivation must be baaaad

**lanceylance:** SOME RANDO WHO SNORES LOUDER THAN THE PLANE ENGINE ENDED UP ON MY LEFT

**lanceylance:** MMMM GLAD TO SEE /THAT/ FUCKER GOT SLEEP

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m laughing so hard omfg

**lanceylance:** I GET THE MOST RAMBUNCTIOUS LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER SITTING IN THE SEAT BEHIND ME

**lanceylance:** SHE WOULDN’T STOP KICKING MY CHAIR THE WHOLE FLIGHT

**lanceylance:** WHOLE!!! FLIGHT!!! AND HER SCREAMING LITTLE SISTER WAS IN THE SEAT BEHIND JAVIER AND HE STARTED COMPLAINING THAT SHE WAS TOO LOUD AND THEIR INATTENTIVE MOTHER DID NOTHING FROM HER SEAT BEHIND SNORING ASSHOLE

**kogayne:** alright starboy, deep breaths here

**kogayne:** it’s okay

**kogayne:** keep going

**lanceylance:** SO THEN

**hunkerdunker:** swdfvewfrgerwfe

**lanceylance:** JACKSON ENDED UP IN THE WINDOW SEAT IN THE ROW IN FRONT OF ME AND TIA CARMEN SAT /RIGHT/ IN FRONT OF ME AND THEN EMELY SAT NEXT TO HER

**lanceylance:** AND HE KEPT! LOOKING AT ME! IF HE EVEN OPENS HIS MOUTH I DON’T KNOW WHETHER I’LL BE ABLE TO HOLD BACK

**lanceylance:** THE WHOLE FLIGHT EM AND I KEPT GIVING EACH OTHER THE “WE’RE GONNA MURK HIM IF THIS GOES SOUTH” LOOK

**allurable:** why has everyone suddenly started using “murk”

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE IT’S MORE FUN ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** at least the drive back to my abuela’s was more peaceful but wOW I’M WIPED OUT :’))))

**takashmeoutside:** get some rest

**lanceylance:** that’s what i’m heading off to do

**lanceylance:** gotta share the guest room with alejandro, marco, AND luis i gotta pick the best space for myself before they can get there 

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY BYE

**carrierpidgeon:** bye!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow that whole story,, yIKE

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** just wanted to send this, dunno if you’ll actually see it before u crash

_ (27) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** here are some calming pictures of cats i’ve stockpiled

**lanceylance:** ur a fucking gem i love u

**kogayne:** i have my moments ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  

**kogayne:** everything good?

**lanceylance:** hh yeah i’m just

**lanceylance:** way overtired

**lanceylance:** tomorrow should be a better day tho

**lanceylance:** text u in the morning

**kogayne:** sounds good

**kogayne:** i’m gonna sleep at ur place tonight

**lanceylance:** fair enough

**lanceylance:** i love you, good night  <3

**kogayne:** gnight starboy  <333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i've never actually been on a plane...or out of the country
> 
> i don't get out of the northeast much
> 
> rip
> 
> ~~also jackson from the discord server if u see this i'M SORRY U SHARE A NAME W LANCE'S AWFUL NOT-UNCLE~~
> 
> see y'all in the next one


	9. this all takes place over (1) day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has been gone for (1) full day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this is the saturday chapter, we're gonna act like i'm not posting it at 3 AM on a sunday morning)
> 
> lmfao so much happens in this chapter
> 
> also sorry but it's mostly klance and broganes
> 
> ewrgrwefwgrewefgebgfe sORRY I KNOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A GROUP CHAT FIC BUT!!!! OH WELL I LOVE THEM

**_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** how’s the weather up there y’all 

**lanceylance:** bc right now it’s cloudy but still humid as fuck and i’m dying

**carrierpidgeon:** bahahahahaha sucks to sUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** thunderstorms yesterday got rid of all the humidity which means i can go outside and maybe not die

**lanceylance:** but have u actually been outside

**carrierpidgeon:** shhh i’m going out later but atm i’m working on rover

**lanceylance:** 1) how is that dear bot of urs

**lanceylance:** 2) wHERE IS EVERYONE ELSE

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s doing great!! except for that part where he walked into a wall last night and accidentally decapitated himself

**carrierpidgeon:** everyone else is at work or sleeping, i think

**lanceylance:** HOW DID ROVER DECAPITATE HIMSELF 

**carrierpidgeon:** his head was apparently too big for the rest of him

**carrierpidgeon:** when he hit the wall it just kinda popped off

**carrierpidgeon:** like salty people do on twitter

**lanceylance:** egrtnregrbtewrgebr 

**allurable:** lance!! hi hello i’m here i was sleeping

**carrierpidgeon:** exhibit a

**lanceylance:** allura it’s like 11 in the morning

**allurable:** i may or may not have been up late doing coursework for this degree bc i decided to take summer classes

**lanceylance:** way to go, paul

**allurable:** :P

**allurable:** listen at least i’m up late doing SENSIBLE THINGS UNLIKE PIDGE WHO DIDN’T SLEEP ALL NIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** FDRBTEGTW SHUT UR FUCK

**mattata:** u what

**carrierpidgeon:** ALLURA

**allurable:** (✿◠‿◠)

**mattata:** are mom and dad aware of this

**carrierpidgeon:** uhh

**carrierpidgeon:** dad swore himself to secrecy so if he backs out on me i have to blackmail him so shh mom doesn’t need to know about this

**lanceylance:** is matt not home

**mattata:** i was with kashi last night and now i’m stuck w him all day

**takashmeoutside:** :P

**mattata:** HE LURKS

**takashmeoutside:** no i’m actually not supposed to be looking at this but what olia doesn’t know won’t hurt her

**lanceylance:** wHY ARE U ALL SNEAKING AROUND

**mattata:** because we can

**hunkerdunker:** LMAO hi i’m on my break but shay and keith say hi

**lanceylance:** HUNK!!!

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE!!!

**lanceylance:** HOW’S THE CAFÉ

**hunkerdunker:** ur regulars already miss u

**hunkerdunker:** that old lady w the argyle socks?? REALLY misses u she hopes ur having a good time

**lanceylance:** :O I LOVE PATRICIA

**lanceylance:** hunk pls tell me ur takin care of patricia

**hunkerdunker:** SHE’S A GEM OF COURSE

**lanceylance:** is she still there right now

**hunkerdunker:** yES ACTUALLY SHE IS SHE’S CHILLIN OUT BY THE WINDOW

**lanceylance:** tell her she’s lovely, i say thanks i’m having a great time, and i hope she has a wonderful day

**allurable:** this is the purest thing i’ve ever seen come from lance in this chat i’m cryin

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah it’s nice when he’s not being a heathen

**lanceylance:** i am bEING ATTACKED

**hunkerdunker:** yeah speaking of attacked,, how’s jackass

**lanceylance:** uGh don’t even get me sTARTED

**lanceylance:** I HAVE TO SPEND HALF THE DAY WITH HIM TODAY AND I’M GOING TO FIGHT HIM

**takashmeoutside:** as gc dad u have my express permission to fight him if u so desire

**lanceylance:** FUCKIN BET

**lanceylance:** uughghghghghghhhhhh i hATE HIMMM~

**allurable:** u alright there

**lanceylance:** for nOW till i see his crusty face later

**lanceylance:** UGH gotta gO my phone is dying i need to charge it and then i’m headed out for the day

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** fUCK i missed seeing u in the group chat so whenever u read this:

**kogayne:** remember ur valid and jackson can choke!! i love u  <3

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** hey i have a random question for u

**takashmeoutside:** this isn’t suspicious at all

**kogayne:** do u think black ever gets lonely

**takashmeoutside:** black? like my cat?

**kogayne:** no black like the demon living down the street yES UR FUCKIN CAT

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know?

**kogayne:** like, when u go to work and i’m at school or i go out for the day, do u think black misses us and wishes she had someone to hang out with

**takashmeoutside:** aren’t u at work rn

**kogayne:** yeah but i’m on break

**takashmeoutside:** why are u thinking about this

**kogayne:** i dunno

**takashmeoutside:** hmmm does someone miss their boyfrieeeend

**kogayne:** i am completely capable of functioning on my own, thank u

**kogayne:** but also yes i miss him

**kogayne:** and i missed him in the group chat so i’m waiting on him to text me first bc i don’t wanna come off as annoying and bothering him when he’s on vacation

**takashmeoutside:** are u okay

**kogayne:** uhh mostly but anyway do u think black gets lonely

**takashmeoutside:** i already said i don’t know i don’t know what more u want from me

**kogayne:** hmmm alright then

**takashmeoutside:** “hmmm” i don’t like that what are u planning

**kogayne:** nothing

**kogayne:** just thinking about your cat’s emotions

**takashmeoutside:** ...uh-huh

**kogayne:** ...aren’t /you/ at work

**takashmeoutside:** maybe i’m also on break

**kogayne:** but are u really

**kogayne:** mr “what olia doesn’t know won’t hurt her”

**takashmeoutside:** snitches get stitches, keith

**kogayne:** snitches carry switches

**kogayne:** as in switchblades

**kogayne:** as in don’t test me

**takashmeoutside:** i’d say “u wouldn’t shank ur own brother” but,,, there’s apparently a lot of evidence against my argument

**kogayne:** webgrwrgerfw there’s not a LOT

**takashmeoutside:** okay maybe there’s not a LOT but what’s there is very compelling

**takashmeoutside:** a fight or flight that defaults to “fight” and the fact that u almost knifed lance’s face that one time,, mmm

**kogayne:** I WAS HALF-ASLEEP AND DIDN’T REALIZE IT WAS HIM I’D NEVER HURT HIM PURPOSELY

**takashmeoutside:** :O but u’d knife me

**kogayne:** ...i didn’t say that

**takashmeoutside:** YOU WOULD KNIFE UR OWN BROTHER

**kogayne:** HUSH GRANOLA BAR

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** seeing ur text just made my whole day ngl

**lanceylance:** hOW ARE U

**kogayne:** U HAVE INCREDIBLE TIMING ACTUALLY MY SHIFT JUST ENDED LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i’m good like that

**lanceylance:** my Keith Senses

**kogayne:** anyway i’m good and i actually have an important question to ask u

**lanceylance:** shoot

**kogayne:** how would ur mom feel abt a cat

**lanceylance:** hold up,,

**lanceylance:** wHAT

**kogayne:** alright so this morning before work i saw the local animal shelter’s having an adoption event so like as soon as i got out of work i came down to the shelter and i’ve been here for the last ten minutes and,,

**kogayne:** there are two cats here that no one’s really been looking at, like most people have been fixated on the dogs and stuff

**kogayne:** there’s an orange tabby and there’s a blue russian and they’re sharing a cage and like??

**kogayne:** someone told me the tabby one is pretty standoffish and the blue one is the only one he really tolerates

**kogayne:** and i’ve already made a spiritual connection with the tabby

**kogayne:** and i’m,,

**kogayne:** okay so i feel like black’s gonna get lonely once i go off to college and shiro’s alone in the house and he’s gonna be away half the time at work being an Adult so i’m like,,, i wanna adopt red in the hopes he acclimates to black

**kogayne:** but i don’t wanna just leave blue in the cage, u know??? and then i figured

**kogayne:** ur the last mcclain kid to leave

**kogayne:** what if we surprised ur mom with a cat when u guys came back from cuba like “here, now ur nest isn’t totally empty”

**kogayne:** like blue is a total sweetheart the people here are baffled as to why no one’s adopted her yet

**lanceylance:** waitwaitwaitwaitwait u already named them red and blue

**kogayne:** ...maybe

**lanceylance:** WHY CAN’T U AND SHIRO PROPERLY NAME UR CATS

**kogayne:** I DUNNO IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY

**kogayne:** but i’m serious like would

**kogayne:** wow i guess we can’t surprise her if we need to ask her

**lanceylance:** listen

**lanceylance:** i know my mom better than anyone else

**lanceylance:** adopt the fucking cat

**lanceylance:** she’ll cry

**kogayne:** awesome

**lanceylance:** i’ll pay u back for the adoption fee

**kogayne:** nope shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** kEITH U GOTTA PAY FOR COLLEGE

**kogayne:** THIS FEE IS CHEAP A WEEK’S PAYCHECK FROM BB MORE THAN COVERS IT AND I WANT THESE SWEET BABIES BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE COMES IN

**lanceylance:** “sweet babies” oh my god ur such a softie i can’t believe—

**kogayne:** bitch u already know i’m soft

**lanceylance:** SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH SOFT KEITH

**kogayne:** alright i’ll text u back in like,,, i dunno as soon as i’m done

**kogayne:** do u think shiro will have an aneurysm when i tell him

**lanceylance:** do u have like

**lanceylance:** a game going

**lanceylance:** with urself

**lanceylance:** to see how high u can make his blood pressure go

**kogayne:** mayhaps

**lanceylance:** omfg

**kogayne:** ALRIGHT BRB TIME TO ADOPT SOME CATS

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** so have u come to a definitive answer on whether or not u think black gets lonely

**takashmeoutside:** WHY ARE U STILL ON THIS

**kogayne:** I’M CONCERNED FOR THE CAT ALRIGHT

**takashmeoutside:** ...this is more than concern for black

**kogayne:** noooo

**takashmeoutside:** and u dragged out the letters

**takashmeoutside:** keith,, what did u do…

**kogayne:** okay so um

**kogayne:** i was on my way to work this morning

**kogayne:** and i saw the animal shelter was having an adoption event

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** and so then after work i stopped in for a while

**takashmeoutside:** kEITH WHAT DID U DO

**kogayne:** uh

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** say hi to red and blue

**takashmeoutside:** YOU ADOPTED TWO CATS???

**kogayne:** okay to be fair blue is actually lance’s, we’re surprising his mom when they come home from cuba

**kogayne:** i just happened to be the only one home to adopt blue

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH ARE U KIDDING ME

**kogayne:** I DON’T WANT BLACK TO BE LONELY OKAY

**kogayne:** and LISTEN I WASN’T TOTALLY ON BOARD WITH ADOPTING THIS MORNING

**kogayne:** but then i walked in, right?

**kogayne:** and there was this cage near the back with two cats, and most people were paying attention to like, the puppies and the kittens and the dogs up near the front

**kogayne:** and in the cage were red and blue, and i got talking with one of the employees

**kogayne:** and they said red is very standoffish and fierce and blue’s like, the only cat that red can tolerate in the shelter

**kogayne:** and i knelt down and i stuck my finger in the cage

**kogayne:** and rED CAME OVER AND LET ME PET HIM

**kogayne:** i made a fucking connection with this cat, alright

**kogayne:** AND I COULDN’T JUST ADOPT RED AND LEAVE BLUE BEHIND SO I TEXTED LANCE LIKE “HEY YEAH UR MOM IS GONNA HAVE AN EMPTY NEST WOULD SHE LIKE A CAT” AND HE WAS LIKE “DO IT SHE’LL CRY” BC SHE’LL LOVE IT SO MUCH SO I DID

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god

**takashmeoutside:** i want to be angry at this but this is too much 

**takashmeoutside:** and also black may or may not have been my own impulse adoption, so i mean,,,, i can’t judge that much

**kogayne:** !!!!! SEE

**kogayne:** okay gotta go i told lance i’d text him back

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

_ (5) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** ya boi adopted some cats and red’s been sitting on my shoulder for ten minutes i’m gonna cry

**lanceylance:** u already bonded with red what the fuck

**kogayne:** i’ve only had red for ten minutes but if anything happened to him i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself

**lanceylance:** this is soft

**kogayne:** I’VE GOT A SOFT SPOT FOR THIS CAT ALRIGHT

**kogayne:** i’ve been reduced to a puddle,,, bc of a cat,,,,,,, in like five minutes since meeting

**lanceylance:** wtf red’s moving into my territory that’s mY JOB

**kogayne:** shh i still love u  <3

**kogayne:** i may have also been showing blue pictures and videos of u like “yeah that’s gonna be who ur living with”

**kogayne:** also i brought blue back to ur house to start getting acclimated

**lanceylance:** keith what the FUCK

**kogayne:** we’re in ur room

**kogayne:** blue has taken a liking to the nest of sweatshirts on ur beanbag

**lanceylance:** ,,, i can’t believe

**lanceylance:** this is adorable now i’m gonna cry

**kogayne:** shh don’t cry

**lanceylance:** kEiTh

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** so what’s up

**kogayne:** u already know abt my afternoon

**lanceylance:** uhhhh mmmmmmmmm

**lanceylance:** i may or may not have already insulted jackson to his face

**lanceylance:** ...twice

**kogayne:** omfg

**lanceylance:** he was being annoying i just can’t help that shit comes out of his mouth instead of his ass ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** tía carmen wasn’t exactly pleased but mamá didn’t say anything and emely high-fived me when their backs were turned so i win

**kogayne:** did u do it in front of ur niblings

**lanceylance:** nah they were off with em’s husband getting ice cream

**kogayne:** oho, and what were u doing?

**lanceylance:** u mean besides roasting jackson

**lanceylance:** not much

**lanceylance:** the goal was to get some shopping done but uhhh Jackson Complained The Whole Time

**kogayne:** literally why is he there then

**lanceylance:** I HAVE NO FUCKIN CLUE

**lanceylance:** but also:

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** selfies!! bc i know u miss this face ;)

**kogayne:** damn right i miss u

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** half of my heart is in havana :(

**takashmeoutside:** i thought you told me lance was from varadero

**kogayne:** “i thought u were a lesbian”

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t fuckin believe,

**kogayne:** :P 

**takashmeoutside:** but also he’s out shopping and that’s what his location’s tagged as

**takashmeoutside:** between this and the cats,,,

**kogayne:** LET ME LIVE

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** um

**kogayne:** while i have u here

**kogayne:** can u let me know when a good time to have a Serious discussion is

**lanceylance:** uhh define serious

**kogayne:** freegwrerwegr not about us, just about

**kogayne:** some stuff that’s happening

**lanceylance:** do u wanna do it on ft tonight or,,

**kogayne:** i feel like

**kogayne:** it’s easier to write it out

**kogayne:** and there’s no risk of anyone eavesdropping 

**lanceylance:** shit u right

**lanceylance:** loooooooove my brothers but they’re pains when it comes to stalking the family relationships

**lanceylance:** especially alejandro

**lanceylance:** uhhh mmmmm next time i text the gc just hmu privately

**kogayne:** u got it

**kogayne:** u have fun the rest of the afternoon!! i love u  <33333

**lanceylance:** love u too baby  <333333

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M WIPED OUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** RAX CONVINCED ME TO WORK A DOUBLE TODAY AND I’M

**shayfromstatefarm:** [drops to floor] NO ONE TOUCH ME

**allurable:** u alright there

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** BB DOUBLES ARE NOTHING LIKE TARGET DOUBLES SHUT UR UFKC

**carrierpidgeon:** ufkc

**kogayne:** ufkc

**takashmeoutside:** ufkc

**hunkerdunker:** ufkc

**shayfromstatefarm:** ufkc

**allurable:** ufkc

**lanceylance:** ufkc

**shayfromstatefarm:** LANCE HOW ARE U

**lanceylance:** em and i have been roasting jackson all day and we had a great dinner so i’m pretty good right now

**hunkerdunker:** O.O ROASTING JACKSON I HEAR?

**lanceylance:** to his face

**lanceylance:** em and i have started a competition to see who can roast him more

**lanceylance:** she’s winning but not for long

**carrierpidgeon:** i miss MY em

**carrierpidgeon:** i haven’t seen her in daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays except for fuckin sNAPCHAT SELFIES

**lanceylance:** and how are her selfies

**carrierpidgeon:** she looks cute in flower crowns and i’m angry abt it

**lanceylance:** fgetgwtgebrwf did u ever make it official

**carrierpidgeon:** NO BC I’M A COWARD

**shayfromstatefarm:** rip rip potato chip

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** and on that subject change

**lanceylance:** what’s going on

**lanceylance:** u alright?

**kogayne:** yeah yeah i mean

**kogayne:** ur on vaca u don’t need to excessively worry or anything, i can handle things here, but uh

**kogayne:** i figured u should probably know abt this

**lanceylance:** 1) i’m always gonna worry abt u and in general bc i have Anxiety™

**lanceylance:** 2) what’s up

**kogayne:** promise not to flip out

**lanceylance:** promise

**kogayne:** shiro and i are going to meet my mom on monday

**lanceylance:** holy shit

**kogayne:** she sent me a photo of herself yesterday and shiro verified that she looks p similar to how he remembers her

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** holy shit i can SEE the resemblance

**lanceylance:** u took way more after her than ur dad oh my god

**kogayne:** yep,,, took after the woman who abandoned me

**kogayne:** she still hasn’t given an explanation

**kogayne:** i feel like she wants to just sit down and have a long convo abt it and idk how to feel

**kogayne:** like “surprise i’m ur mom this is the first time we’re meeting so let me explain the reason for ur tragic backstory to u”

**lanceylance:** i mean good that u don’t have to wait i guess?? but that’s

**lanceylance:** gonna be a lot to unpack

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** figured i’d tell u

**kogayne:** just in case i end up

**kogayne:** going silent for the most part on monday

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** idc if i’m on vacation 

**lanceylance:** if u start freaking out pls don’t hesitate to text me or snap or facetime or SOMETHING

**lanceylance:** ur as much a part of my family and my life as anyone else i’m with rn

**lanceylance:** hell ur closer to me than some of the people i’m staying with

**kogayne:** i’m gonna cry again fuck u

**lanceylance:** AGAIN?

**kogayne:** so i may have ended up actually crying over the cats but in my defense they’re adorable and they’re my children now

**lanceylance:** omfg

**kogayne:** but anyway while we’re on the topic of support

**kogayne:** i’ll text u but i need u to text me if jackson does some shit

**kogayne:** idc if i’ve got my own problems to deal with, urs are just as important and just like u said, ur just as much family and just as much in my life as shiro is

**lanceylance:** deal

**lanceylance:** i love u

**kogayne:** love u too

**lanceylance:** also i’ve finally evaded my family so if u wanna ft now is the time

_ FaceTime with  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ : 00:47:08.29 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmfao so when i was doing those plot points out i forgot the jackson plot and another plot so there's actually like 7-8 coming into play (over the next two weeks,,, at least. they'll all come in by the end of july,,,,,,, hopefully)
> 
> let's list off the plots, shall we? revealed plots are those revealed in-fic and not correct guesses from the comments :P blank plots are for ur guessing pleasure ;)
> 
> 1\. krolia  
> 2\. the cats  
> 3\. jackson  
> 4\. ____  
> 5\. ___ _____  
> 6\. ____-________ ______ (this one is like,,, kind of in play but not fully ;P)  
> 7\. ____ ___ _____ _______  
> 8\. _____ ___ _____
> 
> HAVE FUN >;D


	10. enter KROLIA from stage left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith meets his mother for the first time in sixteen years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE'S A LOT TO UNPACK THIS CHAPTER
> 
> i think this is actually the longest chapter now but i'm not certain
> 
> ANYWAY THERE'S A LOT HAPPENING but first lmao lemme address the lighthearted stuff
> 
> MY COMMENTARY ON YOUR COMMENTS  
> -there are some right guesses here and some wrong guesses but i'm not gonna tell you which is which ;D  
> -some plots that you guys mentioned are going to come into play, but not in the next two weeks or so, so they're not on that list (but they're technically right plot guesses!)  
> -you guys really love the cats fwrdtgrefgterfegbrb
> 
> anyhoo onto the serious stuff
> 
> **trigger warnings and stuff: this is a heavy keith chapter that focuses on parental abandonment, and college and the stress and expectations it places on students; it also mentions/dives a bit into stalking and hacking. keith mentions having breakdowns over things several times in this chapter. please take caution when reading this (i'm pmsing so i almost cried when i wrote one section but that's just me, but also i figured that warning's probably relevant). tread carefully.**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** pssst

**lanceylance:** idk if you’re awake yet, probably not, but good luck today

**lanceylance:** i love you

**lanceylance:** you’re a strong person and i know you can make it through whatever happens

**lanceylance:** no matter what happens, you’ve got me and the squad and my family

**lanceylance:** <333

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** is it still shooting ur shot if ur already dating

**mattata:** owo what’s this

**carrierpidgeon:** someone tell me to get my shit together and put on my big girl pants and ask emily if she wants to be official gfs already

**allurable:** well ur under 5’5” so ur actually a small girl so technically u need ur small girl pants

**carrierpidgeon:** okay listen here,

**allurable:** egrbtewrgebrwg

**shayfromstatefarm:** hey!! pidge!!

**carrierpidgeon:** hey!! shay!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** sHOOT UR SHOT

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**carrierpidgeon:** thing is

**carrierpidgeon:** she’s away until wednesday

**carrierpidgeon:** and i wanna do it in person and not over text

**mattata:** :O pidge rejecting technology?

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll come to target specifically to fight u

**kogayne:** there’s a reason ur my honorary little sister

**carrierpidgeon:** KEITH HELLO YES HELP ME

**kogayne:** lol sorry i can’t i’ve got shit going down today

**carrierpidgeon:** ...what shit

**allurable:** o shit what’s up keith

**kogayne:** lmao so uhhh remember how my mom started emailing me a couple months ago

**kogayne:** WELL SHIRO AND I ARE GONNA MEET HER TODAY

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT THE FUCK

**allurable:** holy shit

**mattata:** good luck dude

**allurable:** where are u meeting her

**kogayne:** ,,, do i really put the location in the gc

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**kogayne:** hello lurker that wasn’t suspicious of you at all, appearing just to get the location

**hunkerdunker:** ;P

**kogayne:** hnnn 

**kogayne:** alright we’re meeting at the park this afternoon

**allurable:** public space, wide open, good move

**kogayne:** my thoughts exactly

**kogayne:** not to mention i’m armed in case things go south

**takashmeoutside:** this is the one time i’m more than grateful keith insists on carrying a switchblade everywhere

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t u know his true definition of “armed”

**kogayne:** pidge hush

**takashmeoutside:** ,, what

**carrierpidgeon:** he’s carrying more than just his switchblade today

**kogayne:** shhh what my ~mom~ doesn’t know won’t hurt her

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah not until u feel threatened

**kogayne:** shh

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** glad this was the first thing i saw when i woke up this morning

**kogayne:** thanks, starboy

**lanceylance:** how u feelin

**kogayne:** i think i’ve reached that weird state where i’ve lost the ability to feel true emotions about this

**kogayne:** like

**kogayne:** i dunno how to describe it

**kogayne:** everything’s just kinda white and blurry

**kogayne:** i’m in a state of emotional limbo i dunno

**kogayne:** everything’s probably gonna punch me in the face hours after the fact but It’s Fine

**lanceylance:** that’s like the opposite of fine

**lanceylance:** how long until ur supposed to meet this lady

**kogayne:** like, an hour?

**lanceylance:** shit only an hour???

**kogayne:** yEP

**kogayne:** shiro and i are already at the park

**kogayne:** he’s bird-watching and i think i’ve taken like, 3 laps around the place already

**lanceylance:** keith wtf

**kogayne:** the cats like it here too

**lanceylance:** you

**lanceylance:** you brought the cats to the park

**kogayne:** red is apparently a very outdoorsy cat and i didn’t wanna leave blue alone

**kogayne:** shiro’s actually watching black and blue right now, i’ve got red with me

**lanceylance:** ...oh my god how are u holding the cat

**lanceylance:** or is red walking with u

**kogayne:** i’ve been carrying red but i also found a good spot for him to doze off in my backpack if i get too tired bc i’m v worried about him walking with me bc the pavement is hot and i don’t want anyone to snatch him

**lanceylance:** i can’t take u wretgwtghegwf

**kogayne:** i wasn’t kidding when i said these cats are my children now

**lanceylance:** how do u go from “black is a demon” to “black is gonna get lonely” to “i’m a father to three cats and i would murder people if something happened to them”

**kogayne:** let me live wfdegwfeg

**kogayne:** oh holy shit

**kogayne:** ohmyogd

**lanceylance:** keith??

**kogayne:** WHY IS SHE HERE ALREADY SHE’S EARLY

**lanceylance:** did ur mom show up????

**kogayne:** ergntegtgwr I THINK??

**kogayne:** oH YEAH IT’S HER OHMYOGODDREGWGERWF

**lanceylance:** alright, breathe, get back to shiro

**kogayne:** SHE DYED HER HAIR WTF

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**kogayne:** EGYTNREG HER HAIR IS FUCKING PURPLE

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** U CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP WHY IS HER HAIR PURPLE

**lanceylance:** dude,,

**kogayne:** alright i don’t think she saw me i’m currently speed-walking back to shiro

**lanceylance:** wow wait i just realized ur meeting ur mom with three cats

**kogayne:** maybe we can scare her away

**lanceylance:** rgewfew

**lanceylance:** alright, i’ll let u handle this

**lanceylance:** good luck, i love you  <3

**kogayne:** aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

**kogayne:** <3

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** update i have a plan to shoot my shot

**allurable:** of course you have a whole plan for this

**lanceylance:** let’s hear this spicy plan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**carrierpidgeon:** egfbgdrebd

**carrierpidgeon:** alright so bfu true crime comes back on friday right

**carrierpidgeon:** so

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll ask her to come over and sleep over and watch it with me right

**carrierpidgeon:** and before we start watching i’m gonna lay out a case file, right

**carrierpidgeon:** and it’s gonna be like, vague, right

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s gonna be about these two girls who like each other and i’m gonna put in the style of a buzzfeed unsolved episode

**hunkerdunker:** omfg

**carrierpidgeon:** and when we get to the theories

**carrierpidgeon:** my final theory is gonna be something like “one of the girls wants to make things official with the other” or something like that

**allurable:** THIS IS PRECIOUS I’M YELLING

**carrierpidgeon:** yEP so i’m gonna go 

**carrierpidgeon:** get working on that

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll see u all when i come out of the hole of my heart

**shayfromstatefarm:** have fun!!!

**lanceylance:** and screenshots saved

**carrierpidgeon:** one of these days i will murk u and u won’t see it coming

**lanceylance:** ;D 

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**kogayne:** good news guys i didn’t need to pull my knife

**allurable:** how did it go besides the lack of people getting stabbed

**kogayne:** oh, yknow, almost had a breakdown in a public park

**takashmeoutside:** once we decided she wasn’t an immediate threat we decided to go somewhere more lowkey

**hunkerdunker:** they ended up in bb

**hunkerdunker:** i ended up as their barista and like a good friend kept things quiet in the gc (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** hunk you’re a gem

**kogayne:** so

**kogayne:** where do i begin with the amount of ridiculousness that came out of my mother’s mouth today

**shayfromstatefarm:** i have concerns

**hunkerdunker:** the stuff i overheard was wild like,,

**kogayne:** okay let’s just get the biggest thing out of the way: everyone wants to know where my mother suddenly disappeared to for the last sixteen years

**kogayne:** she was in a gang

**allurable:** i already don’t like this

**kogayne:** after the gang she got a government job that she never told my dad about and sOMEHOW found her way into a SPY AGENCY AND LEFT THE US

**carrierpidgeon:** wHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** SHE GOT INTO SOME SHIT

**kogayne:** SHE COULDN’T COME BACK TO THE UNITED STATES BECAUSE SOME OTHER AGENT GROUP WAS OUT FOR HER GROUP??

**takashmeoutside:** i have a headache

**kogayne:** she’s apparently got hacker skills that could rival pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** EXCUSE ME

**kogayne:** AND she’s got access to certain websites no one’s really supposed to know about

**takashmeoutside:** we’ve come to the conclusion she’s definitely familiar with the dark web

**kogayne:** she claims she was a “freedom fighter” and tbh i don’t even wanna know what’s up with that, she wouldn’t go into detail

**kogayne:** eventually her job got too dangerous so she left but she had to lie low for a while

**kogayne:** a while being YEARS

**kogayne:** she didn’t contact the family bc she didn’t want us getting involved in her work and for a while lost track of us

**takashmeoutside:** i dunno how bc we’ve literally never left this town

**kogayne:** she always wanted to tell my dad but didn’t bc his safety was too important

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll give her credit for looking like we punched her in the face when keith told her that uncle tex was dead

**kogayne:** that point was near-breakdown number two

**takashmeoutside:** after that things kinda quieted down and she explained that she always thought about keith and stuff but had no money and no means of getting back to the US for a while

**takashmeoutside:** she just returned like?? a month and a half ago? and she’s been like, motel hopping

**takashmeoutside:** she’s looking into jobs now and surviving off of whatever money she’s got left

**kogayne:** and so shiro and i got up and we were like “yeah give us a sec here” and we probably just made the worst decision of our lives

**carrierpidgeon:** ...what did u do

**takashmeoutside:** we may or may not have offered a space in the guest room until she can get on her feet

**kogayne:** and she may or may not have accepted

**allurable:** holy shit

**mattata:** ...and where are you guys /now/?

**kogayne:** she went back to the motel and we’ve got a second meetup later at the diner

**kogayne:** i’m still trying to convince myself that that all really just happened

**kogayne:** and shiro’s researching

**takashmeoutside:** we’re still at bb

**mattata:** does she know ur ties to bb

**kogayne:** no and hopefully she doesn’t start becoming a regular here and figure it out

**lanceylance:** hold up did you walk into bb with the cats

**kogayne:** ...MAYBE

**shayfromstatefarm:** and lance’s entrance into the gc is cat-related why is no one surprised

**lanceylance:** shhh not about me right now

**carrierpidgeon:** hold up she explained her past as some kind of spy and you two thought it was the best course of action to invite her into your HOUSE

**kogayne:** SHE SEEMED GENUINE

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE’S A /SPY/

**kogayne:** pidge pls help us

**kogayne:** pls i’m begging u i will literally pay u

**allurable:** do u want us to run searches on her info bc my dad and i can help

**allurable:** we’ve got connections

**kogayne:** PLEASE

**allurable:** what’s her info

**kogayne:** i don’t know which names you should run info on

**kogayne:** when she married my dad she was krolia kogane but she presented herself to us as krolia yeun

**kogayne:** and i don’t know whether she ever took up another name when she was out of the country as a means of identity protection

**allurable:** i’ll see what i can find

**carrierpidgeon:** on it

**kogayne:** if it helps she’s 43 and i snagged a pic of her social security card while she wasn’t looking

**shayfromstatefarm:** HOW DID YOU MANAGE A PIC OF HER SOCIAL SECURITY CARD

**kogayne:** no time for questions

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** this is going to be helpful

**kogayne:** also here’s her email address and phone number

**kogayne:** her phone looked new-ish

_ (1) contact from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**mattata:** this is fucking wild

**kogayne:** hnnn i know

**mattata:** kashi, keith, if u two need anything let us know

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^^^ seriously

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added _ **_kogayne_ ** _ ,  _ **_takashmeoutside_ ** _ ,  _ **_mattata_ ** _ , and  _ **_allurable_ ** _ to  _ **_super sleuth society_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** okay so

**carrierpidgeon:** my search isn’t turning up much

**allurable:** i’ve gotten better info from my dad and coran

**carrierpidgeon:** what i’ve found doesn’t seem to be like, super negative?

**allurable:** ^^ 

**kogayne:** you mean other than when she was disappearing on my dad

**allurable:** i mean, i guess?

**carrierpidgeon:** idk if it helps but i asked my mom abt her and she said that when she /was/ around she seemed to care a lot, seemed like she was very much in love with your dad

**allurable:** she doesn’t have a criminal record as far as i can find

**allurable:** at least, if she did, it’s been wiped

**mattata:** i mean if she really was a spy and things were dicey and she has all of these hacking skills, you’d think she /would/ wipe all of her stuff

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve still found legal documents and stuff, like her marriage license, her voter registration, 

**kogayne:** do i wanna know what she’s registered as

**carrierpidgeon:** an independent, my guy

**kogayne:** well then

**mattata:** okay i don’t wanna be a debbie downer here but i wanna be realistic

**mattata:** we’re doing all this research and hacking and sleuthing on her

**mattata:** do you think she’s done as much on keith

**mattata:** or even the group, if she started drawing connections

**kogayne:** uhh

**takashmeoutside:** uhh translates roughly to “that came up in conversation and we don’t know if we trust the answer”

**kogayne:** she said she only used her ~super special hacking shit~ to find either my phone number or email address, and swears she never hacked into any of my social media accounts

**kogayne:** but also she’s a SPY so idk how trustworthy i find it

**allurable:** ,,, ur email and phone are linked to like everything, she’d have an easy in

**kogayne:** mmm i know

**kogayne:** so i’m gonna play this by ear

**kogayne:** and honestly until she proves herself i’m taking everything she says with a grain of salt

**mattata:** hmmm smart

 

**_< 3_ **

**mattata:** okay so

**mattata:** do we think it’s a good idea to set up a meeting of the parents and us

**mattata:** like we get my mom and dad and coran and alfor to meet up with krolia and verify that she’s like my parents remember and like alfor and coran were told about

**allurable:** shiro?

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t think it’s a bad idea, but i don’t know how soon is too soon to do it

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll keep it in mind

**allurable:** if he’s in i’m in

**mattata:** alright

**mattata:** keep this between us three for now

**takashmeoutside:** u got it

 

**_super sleuth society_ **

**kogayne:** also seeing as she’s staying in our house but shiro and i are literally always gone half the day

**kogayne:** does anyone know where u can get those security cameras u hook up to ur phone

**mattata:** best buy or walmart, i think

**mattata:** or maybe home depot??

**mattata:** we don’t carry em at to my knowledge

**kogayne:** hmmmm alright i’m gonna take a quick trip to walmart

**kogayne:** pidge i need u

**carrierpidgeon:** oh HELL YEAH I’M IN

**kogayne:** gonna rig these shits up before krolia steps in our door

**takashmeoutside:** i’m staying at bb and waiting for krolia

**takashmeoutside:** hunk said he’s off-shift soon but he’ll hang around and keep an eye on things

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** what’s going on

**kogayne:** pidge and allura couldn’t find a ton of stuff on my mom bc she’s probably found a way to wipe most of it and they claim what they found is good or neutral, like nothing’s super bad but also this feels sosososososo WRONG to me and i want to trust her and i want to like her and i want a mom but not like this i never wanted her back not even knowing if she’s a decent person

**kogayne:** like she couldn’t just be part of some random like, catering company or something mundane??? she’s gotta be an ex-spy and an ex-gang member?????

**kogayne:** like pidge and i just fucking went to walmart and rigged up security cameras that i can watch from my phone because i don’t even trust her being in my own house like what the fuck kind of life am i living how and why is this happening why can’t my life just be fucking normal

**lanceylance:** i know, i know

**lanceylance:** this is gonna take a lot of time to process and there’s still gonna be a lot of grief you’ve gotta go through

**lanceylance:** but if she’s truly who she says she is and she’s looking to reconnect with you and be a part of your life, at least you’ve got that. at least she’s trying. you don’t have to accept it, but you’ve at least got to acknowledge that she’s making an effort.

**lanceylance:** and no matter what happens, the squad has your back. you’re not alone in this. 

**lanceylance:** and i don’t think anyone’s life is truly “normal”. we’re sold an ~idea~ of normalcy when we’re kids that no one ever really ends up living up to. and that’s okay. 

**lanceylance:** and yeah, your situation is super shitty, and no one deserves to have their emotions played with like this, but i know you’ll get through this. you always pull through. you’re strong.

**kogayne:** i’m so tired of dealing with this bullshit i thought i was done with this when shiro finally fucking adopted me

**kogayne:** why now? why now when i’ve got college stuff to deal with? why when i’m in the middle of a crisis over my major and figuring out just where the fuck i’m gonna fall in on campus??? why when we’re already financially strained and i stay awake half the week wondering whether or not i should just drop out of college before it even begins??

**kogayne:** i’m so tired

**lanceylance:** hey hey hey it’s gonna be alright

**lanceylance:** take a deep breath, we’ll handle everything one at a time 

**lanceylance:** what’s this with your major? is this the photography thing you were talking about a few months ago?

**kogayne:** i don’t want to talk about this i’m gonna go i’m sorry

**lanceylance:** hey no

**lanceylance:** no apologizing here

**lanceylance:** talk to me, keith

**kogayne:** hnnnn

**lanceylance:** breathe

**lanceylance:** what’s up with your major

**kogayne:** dnejdndndnd when we chose majors i decided to double in aerospace engineering and photography instead of forensics and at the time it felt like a good idea but every other day i’ll find that i’m second-guessing myself and i don’t wanna waste money at college being indecisive and ive already been over this with shiro but it’s still eating me alive and it would just be easier for me to drop out and save the money and save the grief

**kogayne:** and ive never been one for the social scene i don’t know how i’m going to survive on campus i’m already enough of a loner as it is and snsjsjwnwjsjdb

**lanceylance:** hey, it’s okay

**lanceylance:** if it made you feel better at the time it was probably your gut decision and i dunno about you but 9/10 times i trust your gut bc you’re smart

**lanceylance:** and look you were smart enough to be our valedictorian!!!!! and get IN to college in the first place, in fuckin ARUS UNIVERSITY like not just anyone does that!!!!!!! 

**lanceylance:** no matter what u do ur gonna succeed bc ur KEITH and that’s the kind of person u are

**lanceylance:** and i know there’s gonna be some way we’re gonna make the finances work. i KNOW shiro’s got your back in all this, and he went through the same stuff on top of taking care of you. you’re like him. i know you can get through this and he’s put in a lot of effort to get u here in the first place, he wants to see u thrive bc he knows u can

**lanceylance:** and ive already said it but you’re Not Alone in this

**lanceylance:** the squad’s got your back, my family’s got your back

**lanceylance:** and social scene? dude i’m terrified as hell too

**lanceylance:** freshmen? more like fresh meat

**lanceylance:** but hunk and shay are gonna be there

**lanceylance:** and you’ve got me

**lanceylance:** you’ve always got me

**lanceylance:** we’re a TEAM and we’re gonna get through whatever life throws at us together 

**lanceylance:** besides half of the freshmen there are gonna be terrified and you know almost every student there is in the same “the student loan debt could kill me and i would thank it for putting me out of my misery” boat

**lanceylance:** point is: your suffering is valid, i’m not trying to say it’s not

**lanceylance:** but no matter what happens, we’ve got your back

**lanceylance:** we’ll be there to break your fall

**kogayne:** hhhnn

**kogayne:** i just

**kogayne:** i need to cry, i haven’t let myself cry all day

**lanceylance:** you got time to cry? go cry

**lanceylance:** i promise you’ll feel better

**kogayne:** i’m sorry

**kogayne:** i’m so sorry

**lanceylance:** pls don’t apologize

**lanceylance:** ive always got you

**kogayne:** i’m gonna

**kogayne:** go cry for a bit, and then i’ve gotta meet back up with my mom

**lanceylance:** okay

**lanceylance:** everything’s gonna be okay

**lanceylance:** i love you

**kogayne:** <3

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

_ (3) missed calls from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** where did you go??

**kogayne:** sea wall

**kogayne:** i’m not coming back tonight

**takashmeoutside:** lance’s again?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i dropped red and blue there earlier, and i just

**kogayne:** can’t be in the house tonight

**takashmeoutside:** i understand

**takashmeoutside:** be careful, alright?

**kogayne:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** i love you

**kogayne:** i love you too

 

 ** _takashmeoutside_** _added_ ** _mattata_** _,_ ** _allurable_** _,_ ** _raxattacks_** _,_ ** _mamamcclain_** _,_ ** _thecoranic_** _,_ ** _morethanyoualfored_** _,_ ** _queencolleen_** _,_ ** _bigmansam_** _,_ ** _tinatamah_** _,_ ** _martizaf_** _,_ ** _thegreatgarrett_** _,_ ** _remamberme_** _,_ ** _ferothearrow_** _, and_ ** _grandmalars_** _to_ ** _Parent Group Chat_**

**takashmeoutside:** hi everyone

**takashmeoutside:** i know this is a little strange, but my situation from the last day or so has been more than a little strange

**takashmeoutside:** for those who don’t know, 1) hi, it’s shiro aka keith’s cousin

**takashmeoutside:** 2) keith’s mom left sixteen years ago. we reunited with her for the first time today, and...she’s sort of got a wild backstory

**takashmeoutside:** to make a long story short, she was a spy of some kind, although the details are a little fuzzy, and she’s been estranged from the family for a while. she came back to the united states about a month ago and is currently staying in my house. 

**takashmeoutside:** i just wanted all of you to be aware of this, especially if one of the kids says something. things are extremely emotionally sensitive for keith at the moment, and we’re not actually sure yet if we can fully trust her, although colleen and sam might be a better judge than i am? i was 9 when i last saw her, so.

**queencolleen:** matt filled us in earlier. she was kind but a little cryptic when we knew her, and wasn’t around more often than not. what we saw of her we enjoyed, although we were suspicious of her constant disappearing.

**bigmansam:** looks like we’ve got an answer for that, though.

**takashmeoutside:** i’m looking to set up a meeting of this group sometime in the not-too-distant future, along with krolia. i mean it more as an introduction to the parent group than an interrogation, but, ah...i can’t control all of you. i don’t exactly have the authority.

**takashmeoutside:** i think in that case i defer to shay’s grandmother?

**grandmalars:** :D

**takashmeoutside:** anyway, this has just been a head’s up.

**morethanyoualfored:** thank you for letting us know.

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** [reads previous texts]

**kogayne:** wow what an emo fucker

**lanceylance:** don’t put urself down bby 

**lanceylance:** you’re going through a lot right now

**lanceylance:** you ready to ft?

**kogayne:** yeah

_ FaceTime with  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ : 01:26:13.59 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH WE'VE GOT A PARENT GROUP NOW SO TIME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY PARENT BACKGROUNDS  
> -takashmeoutside: shiro, y'all already know about him  
> -mattata: matt  
> -allurable: allura  
> -raxattacks: LMAO RAX IS BACK  
> -mamamcclain: lance's mom who you all love to death apparently  
> -thecoranic: coran, aka one of the gym teachers at the high school, allura's godfather, and alfor's bf  
> -morethanyoualfored: alfor aka allura's dad aka mr. "i've got connections huehuehue"  
> -queencolleen: colleen holt aka matt and pidge's mom aka the queen who raised the two biggest nerds in the gc  
> -bigmansam: sam holt aka their dad aka he's a gremlin too but he's more subtle about it  
> -tinatamah: hunk's biological mom, tamah sosene, she's the one that works as a doctor at the hospital  
> -martizaf: martiza frisch aka hunk's stepmom, she's more of the "stay at home and take care of hunk" mom  
> -thegreatgarrett: hunk's biological dad, emele. he's on great/friendly terms with both of hunk's moms.   
> -remamberme: amber belu aka shay and rax's mom  
> -ferothearrow: fero belu aka shay and rax's dad  
> -grandmalars: larimar belu aka shay and rax's grandma
> 
> (i have plans to expand the parent group in the future...shhh)
> 
> also hUGE SHOUTOUT TO BEATRICE for getting me thru this chapter. idk if some of y'all saw me tweet that i ran into a wall when i was writing this but uhhh I'm Not Good At Advice and lance IS and also BEATRICE IS so she's a gem who helped me figure out how to get lance to respond when keith was ranting about college stuff. ALSO another shoutout to beatrice for the "small girl pants line"  
> in a conversation with her back in november on i said we needed to put on our big girl pants and she's like "actually we're small girls so in fact we need small girl pants" so that's where that came from
> 
> ANYWAY BEATRICE IS A GEM AND THIS CHAPTER ATTEMPTED TO MURDER ME
> 
> PLOTS SO FAR (a new one has been revealed :) )  
> 1\. krolia  
> 2\. the cats  
> 3\. jackson  
> 4\. ____  
> 5\. ___ _____  
> 6\. ____-________ ______  
> 7\. ____ ___ _____ _______  
> 8\. pidge and emily 
> 
> again, y'all have mentioned other plots that aren't listed here that'll come into play later on in july ;P
> 
> SORRY FOR THE LONG NOTES SEE Y'ALL IN THE NEXT ONE


	11. in which keith's emotions are everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's gotta confront his issues himself; Lance's not-uncle is still a jackass; other shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is now the longest chapter; according to google docs, this clocks in at 4483 words
> 
> i wrote about the first,,, 40% of this?? at 1 in the morning and cried while doing so, so uhhh,,, it's a pretty emotional opener? in my opinion??? then again some of this stuff was,, a little bit personal (not the mom stuff but some other stuff shhhhh don't worry about it)
> 
> SO i've got trigger warnings i need to put here for obvious reasons
> 
> **trigger warning for mental breakdowns (both on-page and mentioned), mentions of death/wishing someone dead, biphobia/homophobia, and discussion of murder. tread carefully.**

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i can’t sleep

**kogayne:** i know ur probably asleep rn so sorry if this wakes u or one of ur brothers up but i just

**kogayne:** i need to get this off my chest and shiro’s already putting up with enough bs right now and you’re the only other person i trust with this kind of stuff so

**kogayne:** i dunno

**kogayne:** if u wake up, feel free to go back to sleep, if u don’t see this till the morning then u don’t even need to reply

**kogayne:** i guess i just need someplace to vent

**kogayne:** i already scheduled another meeting with my therapist on saturday to talk about this because it’s been eating me alive

**kogayne:** it’s been what, two full days now?? two and a half?? that my mom’s been here and she hasn’t done anything and i’m still

**kogayne:** avoiding her

**kogayne:** and she knows it and she won’t say anything about it and idk if i should be relieved that she’s been leaving me alone or angry bc she’s wasted all this time trying to get here, shouldn’t she wanna know what’s going on??

**kogayne:** god that sounds so fuckin g hypocritcal of me but

**kogayne:** dngfbdbebrsgdrs

**kogayne:** i really have no idea what to do about her

**kogayne:** i fucking hate that i’ve been stalking these security cams and she hasn’t done anything and i hate that part of me wants her to do something so i have a better justification to hate her bc i feel like?? now that she’s back and was all like “oh i always wanted to come back” and seems to have the background to prove it me hating her for leaving is?? less valid??? i haTE THIS

**kogayne:** i’ve cried at least twice every day since she came back bc i’m so fucking fed up with this i can’t

**kogayne:** and i don’t know if everything going on in my head is just bc she came back and i’m having trouble processing or if the meds really aren’t working and the possibility of the meds not working is stressing me out even more and getrhewrgtbewebtegrbff

**kogayne:** i think some of the regulars at bb are even starting to pick up on things and i hate attention i hate this sometimes i wish she’d have just fucking been dead in the first place but then i feel guilty for thinking that but??? whTHT EFU CK AM I SUPOSED TO DO???

**kogayne:** fuck

**kogayne:** fuck i’m sorry i keep just

**kogayne:** dumping this shit on u

**kogayne:** ur my boyfriend not a fucking emotional punching bag wefrbgw4grbrgwf

**kogayne:** and ur on vacation and it’s my own fucking fault

**kogayne:** i did this on purpose, alright??? i waited till u were gone to contact her again bc i was hoping i’d be able to handle this myself but no i can’t bc i’m a fucking cihld and i can’t do anything right with any of the relationships in my life

**kogayne:** and now i sound like i’m just looking for u to go “oh no babe pls don’t hurt urself like this it’s not ur fault and besides i don’t care” like nO IT FUCKING IS MY FAULT AND I

**kogayne:** rgerwfgerw i should never have texted i should’ve just

**kogayne:** written it down and then tore up the page or something

**kogayne:** ufck

**kogayne:** fuckfuckfuckfufkcguckcfkgerwegthe

**kogayne:** gof ukc

**kogayne:** wrewgeww alright deep breaths keith

**kogayne:** i’m

**kogayne:** hhh i;m sorry

**kogayne:** i’;m

**kogayne:** in a bad spot right now and shouldn’t be taking it out on u u haven’t done anything wrong i promise i’m hh

**kogayne:** no excuses i’m osrry]

**kogayne:** i’m 

**kogayne:** gonna try and sleep

**kogayne:** i love u, gn

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** okay so i read through everything and i know u said i didn’t need to respond and i know u already feel awful enough opening up abt this and ranting while i’m away and i’m not gonna give u the whole “i’m always here” speech bc i know it’ll make things worse

**lanceylance:** it’s good that you’re gonna talk to your therapist about this, and even if the meds are failing it’s gonna be okay, prescriptions aren’t always right on the first go

**lanceylance:** it’s gonna be okay

**lanceylance:** and ur feelings about ur mom are valid, you’ve been through a lot of things and for a while u DID think she was dead so of course you’re gonna find comfort in the familiar, bc this is all new and scary

**lanceylance:** but you’re gonna have to take that step sometime 

**lanceylance:** u know i hate making u uncomfortable but u have to face things sooner or later, and it’ll hurt less in the long run to do it sooner

**lanceylance:** you have to talk to her, keith

**lanceylance:** it’s shitty that she came back like this and dumped all of this on you, but you’re not making it any easier by shutting down

**lanceylance:** wakey wakey, turn on the monitor, boot up

**lanceylance:** this isn’t going to go away by ignoring it and you’re going to hate yourself for ignoring it

**lanceylance:** but anyway

**lanceylance:** it’s good you’re recognizing your own pitfalls and hypocrisy and all that stuff

**lanceylance:** i know ur trying to work on changing them

**lanceylance:** and yeah i’ll be real i kinda wish you hadnt specifically waited till i was gone bc i know it came from ur “im too attached to lance” mindset but at least you’re figuring out how to work through this, and there’s nothing wrong with asking for help

**lanceylance:** and seeing as u haven’t responded i’m guessing you crashed last night and haven’t woken up yet

**lanceylance:** i’ll try and have my phone on me most of the day, no guarantees i get back to texts right away, so i’ll just let you know you’re still vvv strong and i don’t feel like i’m ur emotional punching bag or whatever but if that’s something u feel like u need to fix then i’m behind u 100%

**lanceylance:** i gotta go rn, i love u, i promise i’m not angry with u, love u again <3333

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** ndxjdjsjsjdnsnkssks 

**lanceylance:** u good?

**kogayne:** i’m

**kogayne:** god i just sjsjsjdjdbsbd i read thru ur stuff and cried and wjsikdkdkwmwkdksls

**kogayne:** thank u

**kogayne:** i

**kogayne:** dkhsjd hmnn i was scared how u were gonna respond to that 

**kogayne:** i’m already sick of hearing myself rant in my head and once i sent it to u i just kinda realized how awful it is and jsjsjsjsjdkf

**lanceylance:** god no 

**lanceylance:** keith u can’t scare me away at this point

**lanceylance:** id rather u put it all on the table rather than keeping it in

**kogayne:** hnnn

**kogayne:** it’s just

**kogayne:** i don’t want it to get bad again i don’t want it to turn into me only ever talking to u about my problems

**kogayne:** and like

**kogayne:** making u dread seeing a text from me or something like

**kogayne:** when i was dating rolo it got to a point where i didn’t care about what he had to say and i didn’t want to talk to him and every time he would text me there would be this WEIGHT i felt come down and 

**kogayne:** i don’t want it to get like that fnsndbdbd

**lanceylance:** and it won’t

**lanceylance:** i promise

**lanceylance:** and i don’t break my promises

**lanceylance:** i also promise that one day it won’t be so dark

**lanceylance:** but u also can’t just wait for the light to come to u

**lanceylance:** u have to be willing to take that step toward it

**kogayne:** hnnnnn i know

**kogayne:** ive been thinking abt what u said since i read it when i woke up and i think

**kogayne:** maybe i’ll try sitting down with her today and opening up a little

**kogayne:** maybe

**lanceylance:** have u really avoided her the last two days

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** she has no idea where i’ve been or what i’ve been up to, shiro just told her he trusts me and that he knows i’m fine

**kogayne:** she doesn’t know i have a job or what i do in my free time and only knows that i’m going to arus but has no idea about my majors and my crisis and i’m not even out to her she knows Nothing

**lanceylance:** yeah alright u really do need to talk to her

**lanceylance:** don’t out urself unless u know you’re safe to do so but dude sjsnsjsnw talk to her 

**kogayne:** i’m gonna

**kogayne:** after work today i’m gonna sit down and talk with her 

**lanceylance:** good

**lanceylance:** it’ll do you a lot of good

**kogayne:** dndjdndn alright i’m sick of my problems and it’s not fair to u, how’s jackass

**lanceylance:** u mean besides him insulting my intelligence and then trying to act like i’m not bi and in a relationship by pointing out girls at the beach? oh just peachy

**lanceylance:** since we’ve been up emely dumped salt in his coffee and i “accidentally” burned his breakfast

**kogayne:** ohmygod jejdjdns how did ur mom react

**lanceylance:** ur boi got a whole $10 out of it for doing things subtly instead of calling him out at dinner last night 

**lanceylance:** that’s for the last night but shhh

**kogayne:** SHE PAID U

**lanceylance:** dude she’s pissed as hell hes being a tool and tOWARD ME like she’s going v mama bear about it

**lanceylance:** oh and also if u need to vent to a mom figure ur actually close to she said feel free to talk to her :P

**kogayne:** i love ur mom but shh this is about u

**lanceylance:** wELP there’s not?? much else to say here dear boy of mine 

**lanceylance:** we already covered everything else on ft and the day is still young 

**lanceylance:** there’s still plenty of time to piss him off further

**kogayne:** ewrgtegtref don’t let urself get hurt tho

**kogayne:** ur smart and strong and beautiful and i love u pls be careful when ur dragging his ass

**lanceylance:** careful is my middle name ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**kogayne:** pretty sure ur childhood medical records say otherwise

**lanceylance:** LISTEN it’s not my fault my furniture and mother nature were conspiring against me

**kogayne:** mmm sure

**lanceylance:** they just couldn’t handle all of THIS [gestures to all of self]

**kogayne:** rgbgedbergrberg

**kogayne:** how are ur niblings

**lanceylance:** they don’t understand why their mother gets angry every time jackass walks into the room so i’ve started a game with them to keep them distracted

**kogayne:** and it’s /not/ reverse p-a-n

**lanceylance:** LMAO NO we start story time

**lanceylance:** u know that game where one person says a sentence and then the next person builds onto it and you tell a story

**kogayne:** yeah

**lanceylance:** we’ve been doing that except javier keeps trying to kill our characters off

**lanceylance:** so many of my dashing rogues have been turned into zombies

**kogayne:** u really wanna play dnd don’t u

**lanceylance:** PLEASE WE NEED TO GET A GROUP GOING WHEN I COME BACK I AM SICK OF TALK I AM READY FOR ACTION

**kogayne:** alright well i’m in and i know pidge and hunk are probably in

**kogayne:** shay we can probably rope in

**kogayne:** if we ask nicely i’m sure we can drag shiro and allura into it and you know matt would be all for it

**lanceylance:** lmao good enough we don’t need anyone else

**lanceylance:** who would dm

**kogayne:** uhh?? mmmm

**kogayne:** not sure

**kogayne:** that’s a “we’ll figure it out when we get there” problem

**lanceylance:** fair enough

**lanceylance:** okay well i have to go bc apparently i have to participate in family togetherness

**kogayne:** egtegwrebgrw go be with ur fam, i’ll still be here when ur done

**kogayne:** maybe

**kogayne:** unless u get done while i’m on my shift or with my mom

**lanceylance:** yeah yeah i got that

**lanceylance:** and one more thing before i yeet on outta here

**kogayne:** how can u be both serious and a memer in the same sentnece

**lanceylance:** sentnece

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** dwergeegw ANYWAY one more thing

**kogayne:** ur gonna get serious and mushy on me aren’t u

**lanceylance:** yes i am

**lanceylance:** we’ve been together for over two years now

**lanceylance:** and we were friends before that

**lanceylance:** i know how u operate

**lanceylance:** doesn’t mean it’s the best way to operate and i know u wanna work on it and i’m proud of u, but i know how ur brain works,, mostly

**lanceylance:** and u can’t scare me off, ur never getting rid of me, i’m glitter :P

**kogayne:** egrbtgetrheggewb nope not doing mush bye

**lanceylance:** gET BACK HERE

**kogayne:** LOVE U BYE

**lanceylance:** LOVE U TOO  <3333

**kogayne:** efewfewg

**kogayne:** okay but seriously

**kogayne:** thank u

**lanceylance:** uwu  <33333333333

**kogayne:** <3

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**hunkerdunker:** how do u get cake batter out of couch cushions

**takashmeoutside:** .../what/?

**hunkerdunker:** HELP ME

**carrierpidgeon:** WHAT DID YOU DO

**allurable:** google exists?

**carrierpidgeon:** BUT WAIT WHY IS THERE CAKE BATTER IN THE COUCH CUSHIONS

**hunkerdunker:** OKAY LISTEN HOW IT GOT THERE ISN’T IMPORTANT WHAT’S IMPORTANT IS GETTING IT OUT

**carrierpidgeon:** no this story is very important and we need to hear it right now

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk what did u do

**hunkerdunker:** oKAY LISTEN I’LL TELL IT ONCE I GET THIS OUT

**allurable:** HUNK. GOOGLE.

**mattata:** just like any other stain i would guess?

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAA I’M GOOGLING HOLD ON I’LL BE RIGHT BACK

**carrierpidgeon:** now i wanna know why there’s cake batter in the couch cushions

**allurable:** don’t we all

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk better hurry up we’re all getting antsy over here

**mattata:** was he trying to see if he could bake a cake on the couch orrr

**mattata:** ...huehuehuehuehue

**allurable:** mATT 

**carrierpidgeon:** WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**carrierpidgeon:** THOSE WERE POLICE SIRENS U HEATHEN

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk pls return and save us from matt

**mattata:** >:O

**carrierpidgeon:** dON’T BE A HEATHEN THEN

**mattata:** >:(

**mattata:** I THOUGHT ALL UR FRIENDS WERE HEATHENS PIDGE

**kogayne:** why did i open this group chat

**carrierpidgeon:** bc we all need to hear hunk’s cake batter story matt is just being a heatne

**kogayne:** heatne

**carrierpidgeon:** what in the fucm

**shayfromstatefarm:** heatne

**takashmeoutside:** heatne

**carrierpidgeon:** NOT YOU TOO SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** alright so if hunk’s not coming back should i even bring up the elephant in the room

**takashmeoutside:** uhh

**kogayne:** uhh

**takashmeoutside:** keith?

**kogayne:** shiro?

**takashmeoutside:** u wanna talk abt it orrr

**kogayne:** may as well

**kogayne:** so uh

**kogayne:** you all know that my mom’s been staying in my house

**kogayne:** well uh

**kogayne:** i’ve spent the past two days avoiding her

**allurable:** keith

**kogayne:** shh

**carrierpidgeon:** respectable

**kogayne:** pidge and i installed security cameras before she came over on monday and i haven’t seen her try anything, and uh

**kogayne:** i’m finally gonna sit down and actually like, have an in-depth conversation with her after work today

**kogayne:** and i,,

**kogayne:** mm

**kogayne:** i’m gonna try and come out to her, but that depends on her stance on the community

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...and what if it’s not good?

**kogayne:** hnnnn then i don’t tell her and shiro and i try and find a way to get her out of the house as soon as possible

**takashmeoutside:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m the homeowner i have the final say and homophobes don’t get to stay

**carrierpidgeon:** did u make that rhyme on purpose

**takashmeoutside:** did i--oh wow it rhymes

**takashmeoutside:** no i didn’t

**kogayne:** smh gotta make it look neater than that

**takashmeoutside:** oh well sORRY let me just FIX THAT FOR YOU I GUESS

**takashmeoutside:** i’m the homeowner   
i have the final say   
and homophobes   
don’t get to stay

**kogayne:** beautiful

**shayfromstatefarm:** 10/10 would read again

**carrierpidgeon:** and if u look to ur left u will see the next doctor seuss,

**takashmeoutside:** what can i say, i’m a poet and i didn’t even know it

**allurable:** omfg

**takashmeoutside:** :P anyway

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve actually been talking to aunt krolia

**takashmeoutside:** yknow for the first time since i was like 9

**takashmeoutside:** she seems...alright? i guess

**takashmeoutside:** her background is still very sketchy but she promises she’s like, being completely honest with us and she’s not out to like, hurt us or whatever

**kogayne:** she still has no idea i have a bunch of knives so, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** ...yeah that ^^ we’re prepared In Case but i personally? don’t think it’ll come to that

**takashmeoutside:** she actually thanked me for raising keith, so

**kogayne:** so yeah

**kogayne:** shiro’s not even her son so like...i guess it’s Time

**kogayne:** can’t avoid it forever ://

**allurable:** you’ll be okay

**lanceylance:** we’ve all got ur back ;)

**kogayne:** wregwgegwf of course u jump in now

**lanceylance:** i’ve actually been waiting for hunk’s cake story

**kogayne:** yeah me too actually hUNK WHAT’S UP WITH THE CAKE

**hunkerdunker:** i was waiting for u guys to finish i don’t wanna interrupt

**kogayne:** hunk, pls, anything to get our minds off of this situation, what’s with the cake

**hunkerdunker:** ggrwefgbergwf okay so i was making a cake, right

**hunkerdunker:** and sometimes i pace when i bake and then i had music on and i got carried away

**hunkerdunker:** i was in the living room, right

**hunkerdunker:** kitchen’s literally like, 10 feet away

**hunkerdunker:** SOMETHING happened outside, must’ve been some asshole lighting off a firework or something

**hunkerdunker:** either way, huge crash, i /might’ve/ been a little startled, right

**carrierpidgeon:** oh god

**hunkerdunker:** i jumped and ended up flinging the bowl i was mixing across the room and it landed fACE-DOWN ON THE COUCH

**carrierpidgeon:** NO

**allurable:** hunk,,, how much cake were u making

**hunkerdunker:** THE MOMS ARE HEADING TO SOME KIND OF GATHERING TOMORROW AND THEY WANTED ME TO MAKE A CAKE IT WAS BIG

**allurable:** NOOO

**hunkerdunker:** :’) luckily it was a yellow cake and the couch is like,,, a yellow-beige but,,,,,, it’s still sorta noticeable

**hunkerdunker:** I’m Gonna Die

**lanceylance:** ur moms are the sweetest ur not gonna die

**hunkerdunker:** THAT’S WHAT U PEOPLE THINK

**lanceylance:** that’s what u tell me like once a week

**hunkerdunker:** ALLOW ME TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR WHEN I SAY: I AM GOING TO DIE

**carrierpidgeon:** this is so sad

**carrierpidgeon:** alexa play despacito

**hunkerdunker:** fuck u

**carrierpidgeon:** :P 

**hunkerdunker:** anyway now i have to go and sTART OVER WHICH MEANS I NEED TO GO TO THE STORE FOR MORE CAKE STUFF

**shayfromstatefarm:** gfbegrbws have fun!! i’ve gotta head to work soon

**kogayne:** ^^^

**kogayne:** peace out y’all

**carrierpidgeon:** bye hunay bye keith!! i’m gonna go hop out to work on my stuff for tomorrowwww

**lanceylance:** later y’all i’ve gotta go deal with my family

**mattata:** deal with?

**lanceylance:** egerg4wegerger jackass won’t let up

**mattata:** ah

**allurable:** yike

**allurable:** good luck lance, i’m gonna go too

**takashmeoutside:** well everyone else is hopping out, so,, see ya later

 

**_lanceylance > mattata_ **

**lanceylance:** actually can i talk to you about something

**mattata:** yeah sure what’s up

**lanceylance:** okay so like

**lanceylance:** ur bi,

**mattata:** yes

**lanceylance:** and u suffered thru the “oh he’s a dummy” stuff when u were younger

**mattata:** mmm yeah

**lanceylance:** uh

**lanceylance:** are u like, out to ur whole family

**lanceylance:** like aunts uncles those people

**mattata:** yeah

**mattata:** what’s going on dude

**lanceylance:** are any of them like, raging homophobes

**mattata:** is ur uncle still being the shittiest human on the planet

**lanceylance:** hhhnn yeah there’s more stuff he said today

**mattata:** dude :(

**mattata:** yeah, i’ve had my fair share of homophobic relatives

**mattata:** there’s a whole branch of the holts i refuse to talk to

**mattata:** why, what did he do

**lanceylance:** i mean,, i already told the gc? i think??? back near like, christmas????? dude’s homophobic and also believes that being bi is Just A Phase  >:((( but today it’s even worse

**lanceylance:** like he’s spent the last two days trying to point out girls on the beach and around town and stuff and i??? i have a BOYFRIEND first of all

**mattata:** okay number one gross bc he’s invalidating u two hOW OLD IS THIS GUY

**lanceylance:** like?? 40s, somewhere????

**mattata:** gross

**mattata:** has he done anything else

**lanceylance:** defregwefw he doesn’t think i’m that smart but what else is new

**mattata:** boi tf

**lanceylance:** idfk he’s all on his high horse about some shit and i’m like ??? i don’t get it

**lanceylance:** he’s like “i wouldn’t expect u to”

**lanceylance:** like??? bitch

**mattata:** dude, as someone whose relatives don’t let even the smallest Not Bright moment die, don’t listen to him

**mattata:** especially since he’s an asshole

**mattata:** ur bi-ness is valid, don’t let anyone tell u ur not just bc ur dating a guy or dating a girl or whatever

**mattata:** people are gonna be shitty, that’s how it’s been since the dawn of humans

**mattata:** u just gotta know urself and know ur own truth

**mattata:** it’ll get easier as time goes on

**lanceylance:** rebrgebergw i just hate it bc my aunt still won’t dump his ass

**lanceylance:** i’m pretty sure my entire family wants him gone already, and he’s not even staying with us

**lanceylance:** literally emely and i now have marco luis and veronica on our murder train

**lanceylance:** once we get alejandro and hugo on board it’s over for (1) bitch

**mattata:** good on u guys, at least ur sibs got ur back

**lanceylance:** hnn yeah

**lanceylance:** he just

**lanceylance:** i hate him

**mattata:** valid

**mattata:** u good?

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** thanks matt

**mattata:** no problem dude

**mattata:** i’m always open to talk if u need more advice

**mattata:** memers gotta stick together (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**kogayne:** so...that happened

**hunkerdunker:** u alright dude?

**kogayne:** hhh yeah

**kogayne:** better than i thought i’d be 

**allurable:** how’d it go?

**kogayne:** mmmm i came clean about my entire life story when i didn’t plan to so there’s that

**kogayne:** and i broke down again! fun times :)

**kogayne:** i think that’s like??? i dunno i’ve lost track, maybe fifth or sixth since monday

**carrierpidgeon:** :((

**kogayne:** it’s alright i don’t need like

**kogayne:** oh god wow i hate talking abt this this is gonna make me sound like an ass

**kogayne:** i don’t want sympathy, i’m all good now

**kogayne:** i’ve already scheduled another meeting with my therapist for saturday

**kogayne:** like before this, like yesterday

**kogayne:** and

**kogayne:** i’m just really drained rn

**carrierpidgeon:** understandable

**carrierpidgeon:** when u said everything,,

**kogayne:** i mean EVERYTHING

**kogayne:** like

**kogayne:** childhood to right now

**kogayne:** everything

**allurable:** keith :(

**kogayne:** i didn’t even mean to but like?? once i got going i couldn’t stop 

**kogayne:** before i knew it my entire life was just,, right there, on the table

**kogayne:** and then i

**kogayne:** hugged my mom for the first time and

**kogayne:** oh jeez

**allurable:** oh dear :/ i’m proud that u at least opened up to her

**kogayne:** hnnn it

**kogayne:** feels weird, i didn’t mean to tell her everything, i’m still not even 100% certain how much i trust her, but now,, it’s all out there

**kogayne:** i don’t know what to feel anymore

**mattata:** it’s gonna be alright dude

**mattata:** group’s here for you

**kogayne:** thanks guys

**shayfromstatefarm:** <333

**carrierpidgeon:** <3

**hunkerdunker:** <33

**allurable:** <33333

**mattata:** <3

**takashmeoutside:** <33

**lanceylance:** <3333333333

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i know today’s been exhausting for you

**lanceylance:** here are some pictures of dogs i found around town today

_ (32) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** sometimes i still don’t know how i got lucky enough to have you

**kogayne:** everything good on ur end??

**lanceylance:** the murder squad is officially up to all of my siblings

**kogayne:** really now

**lanceylance:** jackass said some things about me that didn’t sit well with any of them :)

**kogayne:** ...the fuck did he say

**lanceylance:** oh, yknow, still trying to convince me that i’m straight and i should settle with a girl

**lanceylance:** even tho he said in december i’m gay, bc obviously bisexuality just,, isn’t a thing

**lanceylance:** and insulted my intelligence but it’s alright!!! i’m over it now, i talked it out w someone, i’m good

**lanceylance:** veronica helped us pick out a good spot to bury his body :)

**kogayne:** babe :((( ur so fuckin smart, u hear me?? u said it urself, not just anyone gets into arus, let alone the garrison school, and u! DID! THAT!

**kogayne:** and so maybe math and science don’t come that easily to u, but ur sTILL GOING INTO A MAJOR W THOSE TOPICS BC U KNOW U CAN DO IT!!  and emotionally??? musically????? dude ur fuckin UP THERE

**kogayne:** he can’t tell u shit

**kogayne:** u are worth so much more than he’s giving u credit for

**lanceylance:** <3333333

**lanceylance:** u wanna ft still, or are u too exhausted?

**kogayne:** i’m pretty tired but like, i still wanna see ur face

**kogayne:** fair chance i fall asleep and kill my phone battery mid-call tho

**lanceylance:** fine with me, let’s do this thing

_ FaceTime with  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ and  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ : 03:45:09.12 _

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

**kroaway:** so which one of you idiots decided it was best not to tell me my son was at your school for four years

**koliwhitevans:** don’t look at me, i actually bothered to say something

**ticktockantok:** doesn’t this violate some kind of law

**thaceofspades:** ^^

**ulaztcall:** we were in a gang we broke the law on a daily basis

**kroaway:** okay but you mean to tell me NO ONE SAID ANYTHING WHEN HIS OLD PRINCIPAL HARASSED HIM?

**regressionequation:** what’s this about

**kroaway:** regris you’re the only one off the hook for this

**regressionequation:** aw sweet 

**thaceofspades:** when we were young adults! kol why did you SAY SOMETHING

**koliwhitevans:** okay listen you weren’t there when the kid came to my office to talk to me about a scholarship for orphans and looked like he wanted to die

**thaceofspades:** i had him in my class every single day!

**kroaway:** AND SAID NOTHING

**ulaztcall:** okay anyway what brought this up?

**kroaway:** he finally talked to me after avoiding me for nearly three days and broke down. and nobody said anything about everything he’s been through?

**ulaztcall:** ...what do you mean broke down

**kroaway:** what the fuck do you think i mean by “broke down”

**thaceofspades:** so what do you mean by “talked to you”

**kroaway:** i mean, he sat down and spilled his entire life story, and i don’t think that’s what he wanted to do when he first approached me. and it was a lot.

**kroaway:** nobody said ANYTHING?

**thaceofspades:** i still think that would’ve violated some law

**thaceofspades:** laz?

**ulaztcall:** i’m a forensics teacher not a law teacher

**regressionequation:** wow...wooooow…

**kroaway:** i’m going to go but i want you all to know i won’t be forgetting this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> keith and lance's facetime is nearly four hours bc keith did, indeed, pass out, and lance fell asleep with him instead of ending the call
> 
> anyway ~plot point time~  
> 1\. krolia  
> 2\. the cats  
> 3\. jackson  
> 4\. ____  
> 5\. ___ _____  
> 6\. [PLOT DROPPED--this wasn't like, super major, it was in my original thought process but it's just not there, don't worry about it :P]  
> 7\. matt and lance bonding [NEW REVEAL :P]  
> 8\. pidge and emily
> 
> a lot of people have correctly guessed five...but no one's gotten four yet ;) 
> 
> ANYWAY SEE Y'ALL IN THE NEXT ONE


	12. there's a lot that goes on here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some arcs continue, others open up, others are dredged up from the bowels of Squad Up...and some still have yet to be revealed. (Or: ft. Klance, Emitie, and other shenanigans.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOO BOY HERE WE GO THINGS ARE HEATING UP
> 
> gonna have to revise the plot arcs in the end note ;)
> 
> **trigger warnings for mention/discussion of domestic violence (not k/l or any other couple-on-couple--no abusive relationships in my good chrisitian chatfic), and allusion to assault that happened in the last fic**

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** so apparently my brothers found me asleep with my dead phone in my hand this morning

**kogayne:** that’s how i woke up, so that’s fair

**lanceylance:** u feeling any better this morning

**kogayne:** i guess? i dunno

**kogayne:** i still didn’t sleep at home last night

**kogayne:** like after i talked it out with her i left again and

**kogayne:** i feel guilty but

**kogayne:** i still couldn’t do it, i couldn’t sleep there

**lanceylance:** it’s okay

**lanceylance:** you talked to her, and that’s the important thing. it’s not sitting there and festering anymore.

**kogayne:** i guess

**lanceylance:** :( it’ll get easier, i promise

**lanceylance:** not right away

**lanceylance:** but in time

**kogayne:** hhhh i know

**kogayne:** i don’t wanna talk about this anymore

**kogayne:** what’s been up with you since you woke up

**lanceylance:** not much

**lanceylance:** family’s preparing to spend the day out

**lanceylance:** probably gonna go shopping or hanging out in town till the afternoon and then spend the rest of the day on the beach

**lanceylance:** and then it’s supposed to rain for the next three days

**lanceylance:** how are things up there

**kogayne:** eh, it’s cooler up here, not supposed to rain till tuesday

**lanceylance:** wow lucky

**lanceylance:** my family didn’t think this through smh

**kogayne:** nah mother nature’s just fucking u over

**lanceylance:** AS USUAL

**lanceylance:** what are /u/ up to today

**kogayne:** well plans are subject to change seeing as i just woke up and plugged my phone in but right now it’s looking like a “keith spends the whole day doing pointless research and rewatching buzzfeed unsolved in preparation for the new season” kinda day

**lanceylance:** lazy friday

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** dunno if i’m just gonna

**kogayne:** spend the whole day doing that at /your/ place or if i finally work up the courage to like

**kogayne:** spend a day in the same house with my mom

**lanceylance:** an idea: have her sit down and binge the whole thing so u have a watch buddy tonight

**kogayne:** i’m not sure she has time to binge the whole thing before the new season drops

**lanceylance:** but if u skip over postmortem,

**kogayne:** okay maybe that’s doable

**kogayne:** but i dunno

**kogayne:** i’m really hoping plans change but like

**kogayne:** ugh shay’s working and i think hunk’s working today too and pidge has that thing with emily going on and shiro and matt and allura are all working

**kogayne:** maybe i’ll just hide out at bb and try and sneak onto a shift

**kogayne:** or like

**kogayne:** go hiking or something

**kogayne:** even tho i should probably go with a partner bc yknow safety

**kogayne:** i’m rambling

**lanceylance:** yes u are but ur cute so it’s okay

**kogayne:** rgetegrebrew shut ur fuck

**lanceylance:** cutest boy in the universe, light of my whole entire liiiiiiiiiiiiiiife

**kogayne:** it’s too early for this stooooooooop

**lanceylance:** I LOVE MY ADORABLE BOYFRIEND KEITH KOGANE

**kogayne:** LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE

**lanceylance:** LET ME LOVE U

**lanceylance:** LET ME CHERISH U

**lanceylance:** LET ME THANK ALL MY LUCKY STARS THAT I MET U AND THAT UR MY BOYFRIEND AND THAT I HAVE U IN MY LIFE

**kogayne:** I KNOW WHAT UR DOING

**lanceylance:** /LET ME SHOWER U IN AFFECTION U FUCKER/

**kogayne:** SHHH U NEED IT JUST AS MUCH AS I DO

**kogayne:** BRIGHTEST STAR, SUN OF MY LIFE, GUIDING LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS,

**lanceylance:** NO NO U STOP THAT

**kogayne:** PRETTIEST BOY IN THE UNIVERSE

**kogayne:** MY HAPPY PLACE

**kogayne:** MY SAFETY

**lanceylance:** BABE NO I’M GONNA CRY

**kogayne:** ALREADY THERE DICK

**lanceylance:** NOOOOOOO DON’T CRY

**kogayne:** STOP MAKING ME SOFT

**lanceylance:** no crying,,, soft keith,,, no crYING, soft keith,,,, MMMMMMMM

**kogayne:** wow i can’t believe that’s a choice ur caught between

**lanceylance:** my sweet soft boyfriend who i love more than anything,

**kogayne:** alright i’m leaving now—

**lanceylance:** gtrnegsdberg

**kogayne:** okay but for real i’ve actually gotta like

**kogayne:** shower and try to be a human today

**lanceylance:** good luck with that

**lanceylance:** let me know if u need anything, alright?? 

**kogayne:** i will

**kogayne:** i promise, like for real

**lanceylance:** i’m holding you to that

**lanceylance:** i love youuuu  <3333333

**kogayne:** :) love you too  <3

**lanceylance:** idk what ur gonna end up doing today but whatever it is have fun okay bye for real  <333333

**kogayne:** <33

 

**_carrierpidgeon > kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** yO MOTHMAN

**carrierpidgeon:** U BUSY TODAY

**kogayne:** i’m not but aren’t u

**carrierpidgeon:** NOT TILL TONIGHT

**carrierpidgeon:** okay this is actually a two-part question

**carrierpidgeon:** one i know u have a Place to be tomorrow so do u wanna like, hang out today,,, maybe hunt some cryptids

**carrierpidgeon:** yknow, to celebrate the Boys returning

**kogayne:** u sure,, u don’t wanna like, prep for tonight??

**carrierpidgeon:** dude

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve got plenty of time

**carrierpidgeon:** ...and maybe i’m already prepped

**carrierpidgeon:** do u wanna hang out with me or not

**kogayne:** wait what’s the second part to this

**carrierpidgeon:** the second part is i know u don’t have lance or shiro to watch the new buzzfeed unsolved with tonight and i know i’ve got a ~date~ with emily but it’s just like, us at my house, so i was wondering if u wanted to come over and like

**carrierpidgeon:** chill out, chaperone, whatever u wanna call it

**carrierpidgeon:** seeing as the parental units have scheduled their own date for tonight and matt’s too busy at work

**kogayne:** u don’t need me intruding on ur date

**carrierpidgeon:** shut ur fuck ur not intruding

**carrierpidgeon:** now what do u say

**kogayne:** yes to hanging out during the day

**kogayne:** do i have time to think on the invite for tonight

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmmm fine

**kogayne:** then i’ll think about it

**kogayne:** did lance put u up to this, by any chance

**carrierpidgeon:** no??? i’ve only talked to him thru the gc since he went away

**kogayne:** [squints]

**carrierpidgeon:** trust me mothman this invite comes from the bottom of my heart

**kogayne:** hhh alright sorry

**carrierpidgeon:** no apologies needed dude i know ur mom’s backstory got u fucked up

**carrierpidgeon:** ur good

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** what time do u wanna head out

**carrierpidgeon:** i dunno, soon? 

**kogayne:** define soon

**carrierpidgeon:** ...within the hour?

**kogayne:** i’ll be over in 20 be ready

**carrierpidgeon:** hELL YEAH

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

**kroaway:** So.

**thaceofspades:** oh what now

**kroaway:** watch it, thace.

**kroaway:** i should be going at you right now for not saying a thing when /zarkon galra/ was bullying my son.

**thaceofspades:** okay in my defense you were out of the country

**kroaway:** MONTHS. it persisted for MONTHS.

**thaceofspades:** okay but LISTEN he got fired

**ulaztcall:** granted it took several months of alfor altea’s persistence because the district refused to budge…

**thaceofspades:** LAZ

**ulaztcall:** what? it’s her kid, she deserves to know.

**kroaway:** i’m also disappointed in kolivan, that it took him until the /end of march/ to speak up.

**koliwhitevans:** i had to get my information straight first.

**regressionequation:** man...good tea in the group chat today…

**ticktockantok:** what’s this about now, krolia?

**kroaway:** i was doing some digging on zarkon, now that i found out he went after my son and his friends.

**kroaway:** and i found multiple interesting things i think you all should be aware of, seeing as you were teachers at these kids’ high school.

**ticktockantok:** “these kids”?

**regressionequation:** oooo what’s going on, whatcha fiiiiind

**kroaway:** REGRIS.

**regressionequation:** :P

**kroaway:** are you all aware there was an emancipation case brought up involving zarkon and his son, lotor?

**koliwhitevans:** ...i was.

**thaceofspades:** no?

**ticktockantok:** there was a /what/?

**ulaztcall:** nope.

**regressionequation:** SCANDAL.

**kroaway:** someone kick him before i have to do it.

**regressionequation:** okAY SORRY LISTENING.

**kroaway:** lotor won. 

**koliwhitevans:** ^ he moved in with the weber family.

**koliwhitevans:** all of his records had to be updated, there was a lot of murmuring among the district. covert, of course.

**ticktockantok:** well they don’t tell us anything except when they wanna bitch that they don’t wanna pay us, so that would explain why we didn’t know.

**kroaway:** i looked deeper into it. there were citations of domestic violence spanning back across years. and they let the man work with children?

**thaceofspades:** ...there was /what?/

**kroaway:** you read the text.

**thaceofspades:** holy shit.

**ulaztcall:** this is all horrifying and what-not, but what are you proposing we do with this information?

**kroaway:** you all work in that district, and my son still has friends in the high school. do something about it. make sure the district knows this sort of thing isn’t taken lightly, and there are probably more kids like keith out there who have dealt with this and had nothing done about it because they didn’t have friends like the altea family.

**kroaway:** anyway, that’s not all i’m here about.

**koliwhitevans:** what else is there?

**kroaway:** when keith and i were talking yesterday, there was something i won’t discuss in-depth here that tore him up outside of school.

_ (2) links from  _ **_kroaway_ **

_ (2) photos from  _ **_kroaway_ **

**kroaway:** but if you ever see men who look like this, who fit these descriptions, murder is always on the table.

**thaceofspades:** ...october...keith got a concussion back in october.

**thaceofspades:** THIS is why?

**kroaway:** keep this down low. but be aware.

**ticktockantok:** okay, kro, i’m sure we can all appreciate your dedication to your kid, but you’ve gotta remember, we’re all adults now. we can’t just go rough someone up.

**ticktockantok:** we’ve all got jobs and families of our own.

**kroaway:** do you ever read before you send your texts?

**regressionequation:** oh yikes.

**ticktockantok:** i’m going to go before i say something that we’ll all regret.

**kroaway:** likewise.

**thaceofspades:** …

**thaceofspades:** alright then.

 

**_Teacher Troop...And Regris_ **

**ticktockantok:** OKAY LISTEN IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE DECIDED TO GET A SHADY GOVERNMENT JOB AND THEN FLEE THE COUNTRY FOR SIXTEEN YEARS

**koliwhitevans:** antok. we know.

**regressionequation:** but don’t tell that to her face unless u oh, i dunno, WANNA DIE

**thaceofspades:** she’s right about talking to the district and doing better reviews on who we actually hire, but this whole other thing seems...far more personal.

**ulaztcall:** i mean if i see these guys roaming the streets then yeah, i might punch them and bring them down to the police station. i’m not gonna actively go looking for them. 

**thaceofspades:** i don’t know...i might look a bit further into it. kol?

**koliwhitevans:** i’m still considering.

**thaceofspades:** mmm…

**ulaztcall:** y’know, they tell you that anyone can be tracked down nowadays, it doesn’t matter how detached you are from the internet...and it’s been like, 9 months? and they haven’t caught those guys? even though they’ve got descriptions and everything? 

**koliwhitevans:** the way of the world is strange.

**thaceofspades:** ...you alright there kol? that was a bit too deep.

**koliwhitevans:** i’m becoming the next great american novelist. prepare to teach my works in 20 years.

**thaceofspades:** if i’m still in this district in 20 years one of you needs to take me out.

**ulaztcall:** only if you take me out if /i’m/ still here in 20 years.

**ticktockantok:** i want in on this.

**koliwhitevans:** as do i.

**thaceofspades:** deal.

**koliwhitevans:** deal.

**ticktockantok:** deal.

**ulaztcall:** deal.

**regressionequation:** ...do i have to make this deal

**ticktockantok:** yes you’re the one free from this hell you’re the one taking us out

**regressionequation:** ugh fine deal

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hi everyone my moms sent updates from the gathering they went to and they sent pics of the remains of my cake!!

_ (2) photos from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**takashmeoutside:** these are empty trays

**hunkerdunker:** EXACTLY!! :D my cake from hell had a happy ending :)

**allurable:** this wins for best development in the gc everyone else go home

**carrierpidgeon:** sorry i’m in the middle of the woods right now and keith is too busy marveling over nature

**carrierpidgeon:** shiro ur brother’s a nerd

**takashmeoutside:** tell me something i don’t know

**shayfromstatefarm:** the first lighthouse built in the US was the boston lighthouse on little brewster island, built in 1716. it was destroyed in the revolutionary war and rebuilt in 1783, and still stands today.

**takashmeoutside:** thank u shay

**lanceylance:** ooh i got another interesting fact

**takashmeoutside:** go for it

**lanceylance:** when i was a kid there was a stretch of time, before i got really into space and being and astronaut or astronomer, when i wanted to be a lighthouse keeper

**hunkerdunker:** HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER THAT

**mattata:** why the hell was that a phase in your life

**lanceylance:** i dunno!!! i guess like?? the lore around lighthouses and pirates and sirens and all that cool fantasy junk

**lanceylance:** like HELL YEAH gotta make sure sailors can see and get home thru this storm!!! don’t go near those rocks dudes!! oh shit there are pirates time to douse this thing and fuck up their journey

**lanceylance:** oh my god now i wanna watch a bunch of sailor movies

**mattata:** the finest hours

**kogayne:** 1) shiro and pidge fuck u

**kogayne:** 2) :O the best hollywood chris is in the finest hours

**carrierpidgeon:** did u really just call chris pine the best hollywood chris when hemsworth is out there existing

**lanceylance:** sorry babe i’m w pidge on this one

**allurable:** nO, NO HOLLYWOOD CHRIS DISCOURSE

**allurable:** NOT IN THIS HOUSE

**takashmeoutside:** yeah idk why we need discourse when keith is speaking the truth :////

**mattata:** rethgrtedbregw broganes strike again

**hunkerdunker:** can i not have an opinion on this

**kogayne:** no opinion means i’m putting u in the pine camp sorry i don’t make the rules

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay but let’s frame it this way: can we at least eliminate pratt and evans altogether and co-exist peacefully in a pines-hemsworth world

**kogayne:** i’ll agree to the first part

**kogayne:** but u can rip my appreciation for chris pine out of my cold dead hands

**allurable:** hmm...jack frost’s VA, was in star trek, cinderella’s prince...aka wears blue, into space, can sing and looks good as a prince...who else do we know like that that keith loves??? HMMM

**kogayne:** i am going to yeet myself out the window

**lanceylance:** THERE ARE NO WINDOWS IN THE WOODS??

**hunkerdunker:** did keith just say he was gonna yeet himself

**carrierpidgeon:** did lance not jump on keith’s love for him

**lanceylance:** sorry i was more concerned about this nonexistent window

**mattata:** i’m more concerned about why those kids are on their phones when they’re supposed to be out enjoying nature

**kogayne:** we were leaving the trail anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** gotta get ready for EMILYYYYYYY

**mattata:** you have fun with that kiddo, let me know if u chicken out so i can bring home ben  & jerrys

**carrierpidgeon:** :P i’m not gonna chicken out this time

**carrierpidgeon:** i got this

**carrierpidgeon:** keith’s the disaster i’m the functional one

**kogayne:** she’s not wrong

 

**_mattata > lanceylance_ **

**mattata:** yo how are things today, dude

**mattata:** does the murder squad need expansion? bc i know of a certain group chat that could bring ur ranks from 7 up to 14

**lanceylance:** haha nah

**lanceylance:** my fam ditched him for today

**lanceylance:** mamá said it was friday the 13th so we couldn’t risk making our luck any worse than it already is ergbdegwew

**mattata:** lmfao 

**mattata:** so ur good?

**lanceylance:** lmao yeah thanks for checking in tho

**mattata:** gotta make sure my son is good to go

**lanceylance:** Thanks Dad 

**mattata:** no problem do u want me to grill u a hot dog 

**lanceylance:** egbegrberggtbgr UR GOOD

**mattata:** ;D

 

**_JULANCE_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** so nobody in this group chat is single anymore

**carrierpidgeon:** YA GIRL GOT A GIRL!!!! YA GIRL GOT A GIRL!!!!!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** AW PIDGE :’) OUR LITTLE SISTER IS GROWING UP

**shayfromstatefarm:** THESE ARE PRECIOUS

**mattata:** oh thank god i don’t have to buy more ben and jerry’s

**carrierpidgeon:** fdhdegrdg MATT

**mattata:** i’m jk, i’m happy for u sis!!

**lanceylance:** WOOOOOO GO PIDGE!!

**allurable:** !!!!!!! YES!! PIDGE OH MY GOD

**takashmeoutside:** congrats pidge :)

**carrierpidgeon:** aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GOTTA GO HANG OUT WITH HER THE REST OF THE NIGHT BYE

**allurable:** have fun!!!

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** lmao and how are u doing third wheeling pidge and emily

**kogayne:** i’m okay with it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ she’s happy

**kogayne:** i’m happy too but for different reasons

**lanceylance:** oho?

**kogayne:** buzzfeed unsolved has its own youtube channel so now i can unsubscribe from buzzfeed blue, :P

**lanceylance:** seriously???

**lanceylance:** dnsnsjdndn neeeeeerd

**kogayne:** shut up i’m ur nerd

**lanceylance:** and i wouldn’t have it any other way <333

**lanceylance:** anything else happen today?? how was ur walk in the woods, did u find mothman

**kogayne:** pssssh nah, we’d have to hike to west virginia to find him, that’s kinda far

**kogayne:** nah but i got a bunch of nice pictures, there was a breeze and a lot of shade and it was only like, 80, so it was just,,, really nice

**lanceylance:** nothing in the mom department?

**kogayne:** no

**kogayne:** i heard from shiro she was busy doing something this morning, some kind of research or whatever that he was too afraid to ask about

**lanceylance:** valid

**kogayne:** how’s ur day been

**lanceylance:** my family ditched jackass bc it’s friday the 13th and mamá was like “yeah we’re not making our luck worse than it already is” so that happened

**kogayne:** cjsksjdnen GOOD

**kogayne:** i’m glad u didn’t have to be near him today

**lanceylance:** ugh u and me both

**lanceylance:** i got to enjoy the beach in peace, clara and javier were having a great time,, it was just a really nice day

**lanceylance:** looks like we both had nice days,,,

**lanceylance:** would’ve been better with u tho

**kogayne:** u know, i was gonna say that

**kogayne:** i miss you

**lanceylance:** i miss you too

**lanceylance:** but hey, two more weeks

**kogayne:** just in time for your birthday

**lanceylance:** yeah…

**lanceylance:** yknow i still think about it a lot, right?

**kogayne:** about what? ur birthday?

**lanceylance:** well,, kinda?? turning 18, i mean

**lanceylance:** running away with u

**lanceylance:** getting married when no one’s looking

**lanceylance:** like

**lanceylance:** i get it, i get we don’t need a piece of paper or a ring or whatever to tell the world we’re partners for life, and when u think about it in the longrun it actually sounds kinda weird that we as a society have agreed to get the law involved in our love lives so we /can’t/ back out, but,, it’d be nice

**lanceylance:** and

**lanceylance:** god i know we’re still YOUNG but?? i don’t see anyone else but you

**lanceylance:** fuck, i’m about to start crying and i’m still sitting around with my family,,, sHIT

**kogayne:** hey, hey, it’s alright

**kogayne:** if it makes u feel better i’m crying too

**kogayne:** granted emitie is too busy ranting about the new buzzfeed unsolved to see me, but

**kogayne:** i want it too

**lanceylance:** honestly some nights i stay up and sometimes it gets dark and i’m like god it’s such a BAD IDEA and it’s like one of us is gonna get scared or something or one of us is gonna realize we’re going so fast but like?? people have gotten engaged and had healthy marriages after /knowing each other/ for less than a year, and??

**lanceylance:** shit fuck

**kogayne:** it’s okay

**kogayne:** lance u have no idea how badly i want this

**kogayne:** this, us, all of you

**kogayne:** but even if we don’t make it official right now, even if we can’t, we’ll still have each other

**kogayne:** a lot happened this year, some bad, a lot good, but if there’s anything that came out of it it’s that i know, i know god I KNOW you’re the one

**lanceylance:** i literally had to excuse myself to the bathroom to sob wow

**lanceylance:** dude i want everything with u i want to live together every day i want to wake up next to you every day i want kids i want pets i wanna do stupid stuff at 3 AM because we’re married and we can and i wanna grow old with u and 

**lanceylance:** holy shit

**kogayne:** fregrwfgewfe fuck why are we doing this to ourselves

**kogayne:** we’re like 2500??? miles apart rn??

**lanceylance:** two brooooos cryin over text message 2500 miles apart bc they’re real gay

**kogayne:** leave it to u to turn this into a vine reference

**lanceylance:** it’s how i cope bc i can’t hold u right now

**kogayne:** egrthegwehergw STOP OH MY GOD

**lanceylance:** NO IF I’M CRYING UR CRYING TOO

**kogayne:** I WAS ALREADY CRYING

**lanceylance:** fbewweerwf

**lanceylance:** can u get away from pidge and em for a while

**kogayne:** yeah they’re old enough to handle themselves why

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait any longer to ft i need to see u

**lanceylance:** i’m just gonna tell everyone i’m really exhausted and going to bed early

**kogayne:** alright

**lanceylance:** slinking away now, get ready to ft in 3

**lanceylance:** 2

**lanceylance:** 1

_ FaceTime with  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ and  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ : 01:22:13.48 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) if ur favorite hollywood chris is pratt or evans i'm sorry but i'm a pine girl and everyone i know is a hemsworth person  
> 2) kl rlly facetimed for an hour and a half,,, and u know they sat there crying with each other over ft. just as i cried at my monitor as i typed out that last section. DO U EVER JUST CRY OVER KLANCE--
> 
> anyway time to whip up a new plot list HERE WE GO PLOTS COMING INTO PLAY BETWEEN NOW AND JULY 31ST  
> 1\. ____ [taken from the other list...and no one's guessed this correctly yet. hint: it's a character. who may or _may not_ have appeared in the last few chapters.]  
>  2\. the woods [new reveal--taken from the other list. some of y'all have been waiting for this, and some of you guessed it correctly, congrats]  
> 3\. lotor and zarkon [new plot point! a lot of u have been waiting for this]  
> 4\. the blades [new plot point! this isn't actually new as of the last chapter!]  
> 5\. _____'_ ________ [new!]  
> 6\. ______ ________??? [new! ;)]
> 
> as for that other plot point i dropped? it's still like, sort of in play? it was long-distance klance (no one guessed it :P) but i was gonna take it down a much angstier route before i decided it wouldn't be great for their development at this point. (also, if u want klangst,, here's a [thread on twitter](https://twitter.com/nerdyspaceace/status/1017840896455430146) i did today abt a thing i plotted for this series in the shower that will never see the light of day)
> 
> okay y'all that's it for now, thank u so much for ur comments, it's fun watching u all try and guess these plots and also i get irrationally happy reading the stuff u guys say, my heart's full :D <3333
> 
> SEE YA IN THE NEXT ONE


	13. in which a plot is wrapped and a character proves themselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The American government continues to piss off everyone; a certain character proves their true colors; a plot is wrapped; a physical character trait from season 6 finally comes into play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme just say
> 
> i've been planning this event for a while
> 
> and (1) person correctly guessed (although several people correctly guessed a _part_ of it)
> 
> **trigger warnings for discussed homophobia (as the american government continues to be a shitshow) and physical assault and injury (so like,, y'all remember[chapter 60](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199533/chapters/29346441) of squad up, right...?)**

**_4th of julet’s overthrow the government_ **

**dinezor:** why can none of us ever keep a group chat going

**madplax:** probably bc we’re all gay and can’t read

**dinezor:** fair enough

**_blumpyfumpy_ ** _ renamed  _ **_4th of julet’s overthrow the government_ ** _ to  _ **_renegaydes_ **

**swirnupanddown:** elaborate

**blumpyfumpy:** gays who can’t read trying to overthrow the government

**blumpyfumpy:** renegades but spelled wrong

**kogayne:** a concept i can get behind

**sarahahaha:** and how’s our favorite renegayde

**kogayne:** whoa i’m the favorite

**sarahahaha:** i was actually talking to shay but go off i guess

**shayfromstatefarm:** i saw my name

**shayfromstatefarm:** erfghrthrthergw wOH WOW

**kogayne:** Hurt

**lanceylance:** [KICKS DOWN DOOR] WHO HURT MY BOYFRIEND

**carrierpidgeon:** my girlfriend’s sister

**carrierpidgeon:** wow i still can’t believe i can say that

**carrierpidgeon:** wow :D

**emandem:** :D  <33

**dinezor:** WHOA WHAT

**floronawiththecorona:** WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

**sippinganartini:** PIDGE AND EMILY ARE DATING NOW?

**emandem:** been official since fridayyyy :)

**carrierpidgeon:** wow emily’s my girlfriend, a whole-ass gIRLFRIEND

**shayfromstatefarm:** ohhh this is soft :)

**hunkerdunker:** yeah this is kind of adorable, pidge isn’t acting like a gremlin

**kogayne:** pidge? not being a gremlin? what fucking timeline—

**zethridofmyproblems:** the best timeline

**acxalutelynot:** i mean we’re trying to overthrow the government here i don’t think this is exactly the /best/ timeline

**lanceylance:** ohoho i have so many bones to pick with the government

**floronawiththecorona:** inch resting,,

**madplax:** p sure most of us do dude

**madplax:** aren’t they trying to set up scotus so they can reverse the legalization of same-sex marriage

**dinezor:** hey here’s a concept i’m trying to have a good day let’s Not talk about this right now!!! 

**acxalutelynot:** mood

**floronawiththecorona:** mood

**lanceylance:** mood

**kogayne:** mood

**emandem:** mood

**sarahahaha:** mood

**carrierpidgeon:** mood

**blumpyfumpy:** mood

**madplax:** aLRIGHTY THEN

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** actually while we’re on the topic of pressing government issues my jackass uncle agrees with that get my blood boiling can i get one off my chest

**lanceylance:** wait no actually first

**lanceylance:** how are u feeling this morning, what’s ur mental state

**kogayne:** i guess i’m okay? shiro made me like

**kogayne:** come home last night and sleep in my own bed for once

**lanceylance:** have u actually been sleeping in my bed all week

**kogayne:** it’s warm and it smells like u

**kogayne:** yes, obviously

**lanceylance:** aww ;-; babe stop makin me soft first thing in the morning

**kogayne:** no fuck u

**lanceylance:** aaaand u ruined it

**kogayne:** my duty

**kogayne:** anyway no but uhhh

**kogayne:** i’ve been okay, i guess? shiro and i haven’t been murdered in our sleep so it looks like i guess i can trust my mom?? and i’m?? slowly. trying to warm up to her

**kogayne:** she’s still looking for work so it looks like she’ll be here a while but uhh, it’s alright, i’m alright, i can probably handle whatever government bullshit you’re about to throw at me

**lanceylance:** have u been keeping up with the news lately

**kogayne:** ,,, i think i know what ur talking about, i’ve seen stuff floating around online

**lanceylance:** with the adoption agencies

**kogayne:** hnnnn i haven’t actually read any of the articles but i suppose i should be an Informed Voter so what’s going on

**lanceylance:** ppl in the house voted on an amendment that, if passed as like, an actual law, would make it legal for government-funded adoption agencies to discriminate against same-sex couples seeking to adopt kids if it interferes w their ~religious beliefs~ 

**kogayne:** hnnnnnn

**kogayne:** yeah that’s a fucking pile of trash

**kogayne:** god that’s so???

**kogayne:** there are so many kids in need of homes and so many good couples who could adopt them and??? you’ll just deny them bc they happen to be outside of ur “typical family unit” or whatever??? that’s so fucking shitty

**lanceylance:** i know

**lanceylance:** and my uncle fucking agrees

**kogayne:** the more i learn about jackass the more i wanna give him a high five

**kogayne:** in the face

**kogayne:** with a chair

**kogayne:** cOVERED IN SPIKES

**kogayne:** was he speaking in general or did he go after you orr

**lanceylance:** he brought it up over breakfast in a fucking /restaurant/ today to see if i would react to it

**lanceylance:** mamá tried to shut him down real quick but he kept going and it’s like??

**lanceylance:** he knows

**lanceylance:** he knows exactly what the fuck he was doing

**lanceylance:** he knows we’re a thing and he knows i’m very much in favor of starting a family of my own one day

**lanceylance:** i’m just so??? god

**kogayne:** hey, it’s alright

**kogayne:** he’s the scum of the earth his opinions can choke along with him

**kogayne:** mark my words, we’re gonna be dads one day

**kogayne:** ur gonna be the greatest dad there ever was bc ur so good with kids and ur so sweet and so loving and so protective anyone would kill to have u as the father of their children

**kogayne:** but i’m gonna sit there and thank all my lucky stars bc ur gonna be /my/ husband and the father of /my/ kids 

**lanceylance:** I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN WTF STOP THIS

**kogayne:** edbehehbegrwsgbe mood i’m making myself cry

**kogayne:** we gotta stop talking abt this

**lanceylance:** eregethrteh I KNOW BUT LIKE??? u make me so soft ewrgewfgbergwber

**kogayne:** stOP THAT UR MAKING /ME/ SOFT

**lanceylance:** aLRIGHT I’M CHANGING THE SUBJECT WHAT DID U DO WITH THE CATS LAST NIGHT

**kogayne:** brought them over to my place

**kogayne:** wasn’t gonna leave them alone overnight

**kogayne:** red snuggled with me, blue ended up sleeping on one of the sweatshirts i stole from u, shiro refused to give up black to us but i think black wanted to stay with him anyway

**lanceylance:** ...did u steal the sweatshirt before or after i left

**kogayne:** uhhh sorry keith kogane could not be reached for comment,,

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** SHH YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK WHEN IT SMELLS LIKE ME

**lanceylance:** smh can’t believe this

**lanceylance:** so what’s on ur agenda today

**kogayne:** i still didn’t relax all weekend so i think today’s finally gonna be the day where i do absolutely nothing, then i’m on the closing shift at work

**lanceylance:** ew closing on a monday

**kogayne:** just for that when we make schedules for when u get back i’m specifically requesting we both do monday closing just to spite u

**lanceylance:** moot point bc you’ll be there so it’s automatically a good shift

**kogayne:** fine i’ll just request u do it alone—

**lanceylance:** >:O

**kogayne:** >;D

**lanceylance:** u are SO lucky ur cute

**kogayne:** :P

**lanceylance:** :P i gotta go, i’ll probably text in the gc later

**kogayne:** alright, have fun wherever ur off to

**lanceylance:** i’ll try but :) we’ll see :)))

**kogayne:** u got this, don’t let him drag u down

**kogayne:** i love you 

**lanceylance:** love you too  <33

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**takashmeoutside:** why are so many people in this hell store today

**allurable:** it’s a monday

**carrierpidgeon:** okay olanrogers 

**mattata:** has anyone here watched him beyond that one video or

**carrierpidgeon:** ...uh

**kogayne:** yikes

**hunkerdunker:** gonna be a negative

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s a no from me

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re all just memeing heathens

**allurable:** naturally

**allurable:** u know who else is a heathen

**carrierpidgeon:** mother nature with this heat and humidity?

**allurable:** actually yes exactly

**allurable:** pool’s open all summer regardless of whether or not anyone’s actually home if y’all ever need to cool off

**kogayne:** where was this offer last week when it was in the 90s 

**allurable:** i was busy last week planning an awesome party sORRY

**carrierpidgeon:** bet so i’m free to come over any day?

**allurable:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** keeeeeeeeeith huuuuuuunk shaaaaaaaay

**hunkerdunker:** piiiiiiiiiiiidge shay and i both have the afternoon shift at bb

**carrierpidgeon:** KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH

**lanceylance:** binch whining for keith is my job

**carrierpidgeon:** someone’s gotta pick up the slack when you’re gone

**carrierpidgeon:** so now, if i could continue

**carrierpidgeon:** KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** whAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

**carrierpidgeon:** ARE U BUSY

**kogayne:** I WAS GONNA SPEND THE DAY BEING LAZY

**carrierpidgeon:** CAN U PICK ME UP AND BRING ME TO ALLURA’S AND WE CAN BE LAZY OVER THERE

**kogayne:** UUUUGHHH

**carrierpidgeon:** KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH

**kogayne:** ALRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT FINE

**kogayne:** BE READY I’LL BE OVER IN 10

**carrierpidgeon:** YES THANK U BEST OLDER BROTHER

**mattata:** >:O

**carrierpidgeon:** friendship ended with matt, keith is my new best friend :P

**kogayne:** gO GET READY

**carrierpidgeon:** RGRTNFJNRTN ALRIGHT I’M GOING

**allurable:** have fun, i’m out running errands, i’ll be back in like an hour!

**carrierpidgeon:** by then i’ll be turning into a tomato in ur pool

**kogayne:** I THOUGHT U WERE GETTING READY

**carrierpidgeon:** shh

**mattata:** PUT ON SUNSCREEN U HEATHEN

**carrierpidgeon:** NO FUCK U APOLLO CAN MEET ME IN THE PIT

**takashmeoutside:** is it truly the wisest idea to challenge the sun god while you’re in the sun’s domain

**carrierpidgeon:** THE. PIT.

**kogayne:** smh i’m leaving now seeing as ur apparently ready

**carrierpidgeon:** sHIT

**lanceylance:** have fun y’all

**hunkerdunker:** wait i’m not going anywhere yet what’s up lance

**lanceylance:** eh not much

**lanceylance:** family wants to go out for lunch, clara and javier wanna stay at the beach and just hit a snackbar for lunch, there’s now a very intense debate going on

**hunkerdunker:** if only u were at a dam

**hunkerdunker:** u could go to the dam snackbar

**lanceylance:** WREHRYTHBNTEBN SHUT UR FUCK 

**takashmeoutside:** aaaaaand somehow we’re /still/ on greek mythology

**hunkerdunker:** pidge’s apollo comment inspired™ me

**lanceylance:** of course it did

**shayfromstatefarm:** but is that alllllllllll that’s going on??

**mattata:** ^^ is ur uncle up to no good again

**lanceylance:** eh

**lanceylance:** he’s always up to no good but it’s nothing out of the ordinary, just him continually agreeing w shitty moves by our government

**mattata:** did he come at u

**lanceylance:** uh not directly but everyone knew exactly what he was doing so he may as well have, it’s all good tho

**lanceylance:** i’ve got a wonderful bf my uncle can choke

**kogayne:** <33

**lanceylance:** :)  <33333

**shayfromstatefarm:** sof n warm

**hunkerdunker:** like mash potate

**lanceylance:** okay heathens enough with that uwu speak that’s my job

**lanceylance:** keith aren’t u driving

**kogayne:** pidge lives like

**kogayne:** down the street

**kogayne:** don’t worry ur pretty head i’m a safe driver

**takashmeoutside:** i’m with lance stop with the cute speak

**kogayne:** WRGRTHJTUTYMRY THAT WASN’T EVEN @ ME

**takashmeoutside:** tragic my sentiment still stands

**kogayne:** asshoooooooole

**takashmeoutside:** takes one to know one

**kogayne:** takes one to raise one !

**allurable:** smh brothers

**lanceylance:** ur an only child

**allurable:** SMH BROTHERS

**shayfromstatefarm:** mood

**carrierpidgeon:** biggest of moods

**lanceylance:** i mean i /feel that/ but ALLURA’S AN ONLY CHILD

**allurable:** being shiro’s partner means unwittingly adopting keith, i know what brothers feel like

**kogayne:** :O

**allurable:** jk keith ur great and we’re glad ur here

**kogayne:** u bETTER BE

**lanceylance:** keith is a gift to this world

**lanceylance:** we’ve all been blessed with his presence

**kogayne:** did u know lance is my favorite person in this gc,

**hunkerdunker:** We Been Knew

**kogayne:** oh look pidge is finally in the car i’m going to choose this time to conveniently hop out of the chat!! bye!! 

**hunkerdunker:** gotta get ready for work, byeee

**shayfromstatefarm:** same

**hunkerdunker:** wanna carpool

**shayfromstatefarm:** pick me up in 20?

**hunkerdunker:** ;D  <333

**shayfromstatefarm:** <3333333

**lanceylance:** sof n warm

**lanceylance:** like mash potate

**hunkerdunker:** I THOUGHT U TOLD US TO CUT THAT OUT

**lanceylance:** YEAH BC IT’S /MY JOB/

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**takashmeoutside:** yeah, hi, bad and good and important news

**mattata:** kashi do u know how high my blood pressure gets with these sorts of statements

**allurable:** what’s happening??

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s in the walk-in getting stitches right now

**takashmeoutside:** and i’ve had to have another conversation with the police

**takashmeoutside:** i’m very sick of talking to the police

**lanceylance:** WHY IS KEITH HURT WHAT THE FUCK

**takashmeoutside:** wow maybe i chose the wrong group chat

**lanceylance:** WHAT HAPPENED WITH KEITH

**allurable:** KASHI FOCUS

**takashmeoutside:** okay it could have been worse, physically he’s okay aside from the stitches

**lanceylance:** PHYSICALLY??

**takashmeoutside:** he was leaving work, he had the closing shift, and he was leaving alone

**lanceylance:** i already don’t like where this is going

**takashmeoutside:** he was cornered on the way back to his car

**lanceylance:** ...by WHO

**lanceylance:** WHAT THE FUCK

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh my god

**takashmeoutside:** rolo approached him, and brought friends

**takashmeoutside:** paul morvok among them

**lanceylance:** EGRTNHTYMJTYJNRTHN

**hunkerdunker:** ...oh no

**takashmeoutside:** keith wasn’t aware that rolo wasn’t alone

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DID THAT TOOL PULL THAT OFF /TWICE/

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S THE SAME REASON KEITH WASN’T WORRIED ABOUT IT WHEN THAT FUCKER TRIED TO JUMP HIM BACK IN DECEMBER

**takashmeoutside:** probably because it was dark and there were plenty of places to hide

**takashmeoutside:** according to keith rolo tried to talk things out

**lanceylance:** “talk things out” my fUCKING ASS

**lanceylance:** I THOUGHT ROLO GOT THE MESSAGE BACK IN LIKE WHAT??? MARCH?? APRIL???? THAT KEITH DIDN’T WANNA TALK TO HIM ANYMORE

**lanceylance:** HE STOPPED TEXTING HIM

**takashmeoutside:** apparently not

**takashmeoutside:** when keith tried to explain to rolo that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with him and had no energy to talk to him, paul and the others went at keith

**takashmeoutside:** the good news is

**takashmeoutside:** for one reason or another, keith’s mom was hanging around bb

**shayfromstatefarm:** WHAT

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t know if she was concerned about him being on the closing shift, now that he’s actually like, spent more than an hour in the same house as her, or if she was passing by and saw something sketchy and stuck around, or what

**takashmeoutside:** but she called the cops

**takashmeoutside:** and then took down half of rolo’s crew

**takashmeoutside:** it was him, paul, and like...three, four others?

**takashmeoutside:** i think, two of them managed to get away?

**takashmeoutside:** when i got there, the cops were already there

**takashmeoutside:** rolo and paul and the other two have been arrested

**takashmeoutside:** and they’re all adults so we get to have fun pressing charges :)

**allurable:** oh thank god

**lanceylance:** yEAH OKAY THAT’S GREAT AND ALL AND I’M GLAD THEIR ASSES ARE GONNA BE LOCKED UP FINALLY BUT?? KEITH???? HOW BAD WERE HIS INJURIES AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY PHYSICALLY

**takashmeoutside:** he got cut

**lanceylance:** HOW BAD

**hunkerdunker:** well, enough for stitches, clearly

**lanceylance:** H U N K

**takashmeoutside:** the worst was on his face

**takashmeoutside:** lemme just

**takashmeoutside:** hope y’all aren’t too squeamish

**lanceylance:** I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND

_ (4) photos from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** keith would like to say that he’s okay, he’ll text as soon as he gets his phone back and the doctors are done with him

**lanceylance:** HNNN

**takashmeoutside:** anyway, i think he got punched?? in a few other places? they did a full evaluation but the rest of him seems to be in order, the cut was the worst of it

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean he knows how to fight and he carries a switchblade

**shayfromstatefarm:** that cut’s gonna leave a nasty scar tho oof

**takashmeoutside:** yeah

**takashmeoutside:** anyway tldr this whole thing was important, bad news is keith got hurt, good news is it wasn’t terrible and we finally get rid of those fuckers for good

 

**_lanceylance > takashmeoutside_ **

**lanceylance:** STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH WHAT’S UP WITH HIS MENTAL STATE

**takashmeoutside:** okay that he really didn’t want me to throw into the group chat, but uh

**lanceylance:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** okay listen it wasn’t nearly as bad as some of his others

**lanceylance:** DETAILS SHIROGANE

**takashmeoutside:** he did cry, yeah, and he was having trouble breathing, but he was able to get through it

**takashmeoutside:** knowing him he’ll probably spend several hours psychoanalyzing the whole thing later

**lanceylance:** WESRGETRHNRTHB I WANT MURDER

**takashmeoutside:** to be fair so does krolia and so do i, but they’re going to jail so it’s probably the next best thing

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s contacting arus in the morning to update his medical history and to inform them that one of their incoming freshmen was arrested for assault

**lanceylance:** HNNN alright

**lanceylance:** can u tell keith to text me when he gets his phone back like asap

**takashmeoutside:** yeah

**lanceylance:** and thanks for keeping me updated hhnhntrnherhrweger sorry if i was coming off as pushy

**lanceylance:** i’m just

**takashmeoutside:** don’t worry, i get it

**lanceylance:** erhrthryjtyuktujrtherv 

**takashmeoutside:** ur vacation still going okay other than this mess

**takashmeoutside:** and other than ur uncle

**lanceylance:** dude sometimes i need a vacation from my family vacations

**lanceylance:** i love my family but wOW today just kept getting chaotic

**takashmeoutside:** u good?

**lanceylance:** hhh yeah it’s just

**lanceylance:** when things get chaotic around here i mean CHAOTIC 

**lanceylance:** i ended up taking clara and javier to go stargazing, so that’s kinda where we’re at

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** u go stargaze with them, keith won’t have his phone back for a while

**lanceylance:** alright

**lanceylance:** tell him i love him

**takashmeoutside:** i gotchu

**takashmeoutside:** have a good night lance

**lanceylance:** ewbgegrbwe u too

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** okay before u flip out it wasn’t as bad as shiro made it sound probably

**lanceylance:** are u being honest or are u downplaying it so i don’t worry abt u when i’m supposed to be relaxing

**kogayne:** i rlly hate that u know me that well sometimes but i swear i’m being honest this time

**lanceylance:** ergteetbg u better be

**kogayne:** i am

**lanceylance:** i need to hear this whole thing from ur pov and not from shiro

**kogayne:** alright so i feel like rolo figured out u were away and knew i’d be alone, i’ll get that out of the way

**lanceylance:** WHAT?

**kogayne:** he was coming on really strong, like

**kogayne:** he knew i was by myself, and KNEW you wouldn’t be around to do anything about it

**lanceylance:** that punk ass bitch—

**kogayne:** so i was leaving bb, right? and i parked my car where i always park, back lot

**kogayne:** it was dark, obviously, and it was cloudy bc there are storms moving in so like, that wasn’t helping

**kogayne:** rolo approached me first and was trying to be ~nice~ about things but i was tired and had absolutely no desire to talk to him seeing as i thought we’d left all that in high school but apparently not

**kogayne:** when i tried to get away paul came over

**kogayne:** and then i saw movement and i was like /well shit i’m being jumped aren’t i/

**lanceylance:** DID U PANIC AT ALL OR DID U SERIOUSLY GO “aw well shit”

**kogayne:** i mean once i realized i was getting jumped the panic started to set in

**kogayne:** and u know how we joke that my fight or flight response is always fight

**lanceylance:** yes

**kogayne:** it was really fight this time

**kogayne:** like as soon as one guy came at me all bets were off

**kogayne:** yknow till my mom came outta nowhere and started going at the guys

**kogayne:** i got distracted and that’s when one of them got me in the cheek

**kogayne:** obviously i took more hits than that but uh

**kogayne:** like shiro said, that was the worst of it, now i’ve got stitches that need to get removed either later this week or next monday, depends on how fast this sucker heals

**kogayne:** i didn’t 

**kogayne:** like cry really badly

**lanceylance:** define really badly

**kogayne:** we were in the car on the way to the walk-in and i think that’s when it all hit me? when the adrenaline wore off? i was hyperventilating and like, there were tears but not a lot

**kogayne:** i was in the back with my mom and shiro was driving, and she like,,, comforted me, i guess? and she did fuck up several of the guys who were there, so

**kogayne:** guess she uhhh

**kogayne:** really wants the best for me

**lanceylance:** this is fucked up but i’m?? kinda glad she was at least there and like, saved ur butt

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** hopefully there won’t be court proceedings for this bc i’m not feelin it

**kogayne:** except paul was there and the morvoks are tools so!! who knows

**lanceylance:** :(

**kogayne:** shhhh i’m okay now

**kogayne:** i’m

**kogayne:** holding it together, no other breakdowns here

**kogayne:** granted it’s not like, 2 AM yet, so there still could be one

**lanceylance:** :(((((((

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** i 

**kogayne:** the reason i didn’t get my phone back right away was bc shiro and i sat down with my mom and talked over everything in better detail

**kogayne:** and especially,,, last october

**kogayne:** which is why i personally think tonight my mom’s more shaken than i am

**lanceylance:** and how did u hold up on /that/ topic

**kogayne:** extreme discomfort

**kogayne:** but

**kogayne:** only a few tears

**kogayne:** i don’t even know if this means i’m recovering or if it means i’m just desensitized to the whole thing and i’m scared it’s gonna end up being that second one and everything’s just gonna punch me in the face later

**lanceylance:** hey, no matter what, it’s gonna be okay

**lanceylance:** although personally i think you’re starting down a road to recovery

**kogayne:** god i hope so

**lanceylance:** u ever gonna tell the gc ur alive

**kogayne:** do i haaaave tooo

**kogayne:** hmm fine

 

**_JULANCE_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** i lived, bitch

**allurable:** are u sure u survived

**allurable:** ur entrance into the gc was a meme, are we sure this is the real keith

**kogayne:** it’s me

**carrierpidgeon:** MOTHMAN!!!

**kogayne:** sup nessie denier

**hunkerdunker:** how u doin dude

**kogayne:** i’m alright

**kogayne:** winding down for the night, prepared to dive facefirst into my pillow and not wake up for several hours

**shayfromstatefarm:** “several hours” ur not allowed in the gc unless u get 8 or more

**kogayne:** if that was a requirement for speaking in the gc no one would be here

**mattata:** well shit he’s got a point

**kogayne:** yeah, u hypocrites

**shayfromstatefarm:** edbrtnhrtg

**allurable:** so what’s the story with the stitches

**kogayne:** a week or less depending on how fast things heal, but it’s okay

**kogayne:** it’s no fun unless you get a scar out of it

**takashmeoutside:** did u just

**kogayne:** shh

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**allurable:** did we miss something

**kogayne:** no

**lanceylance:** no

**takashmeoutside:** no

**kogayne:** nothing at all

**carrierpidgeon:** [squints] was that a how to train your dragon quote

**kogayne:** uh no

**carrierpidgeon:** whatever u say astrid

**kogayne:** SHUT

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** u still up mr “lemme quote my trauma movie in the gc”

**kogayne:** yes now hush

**kogayne:** u ready to ft

**lanceylance:** yeah

_ FaceTime with  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ : 00:56:18.04 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL THAT HAPPENED
> 
> so let's dive into the plot list shall we  
> (also i forgot mobile readers just see one line instead of little dashes so the number of letters on the remaining plots has been added)  
> 1\. rolo [NEW REVEAL!] (some of u guessed paul, which was close and had me internally screaming, but rolo's the real motivator here :P)  
> 2\. the woods (we're not quite done here yet...krolia's not one to let things go when it comes to her child)  
> 3\. lotor and zarkon (not done here yet either)  
> 4\. the blades (or here)  
> 5\. _____'_ ________ [(5)'(1) (8)] (no one's got this yet)  
> 6\. ______ ________??? [(6) (8)???] (only one of you has gotten this exactly, but a lot of people have paraphrased it/are on the right track)
> 
> hmmmm what could they be
> 
> anyway
> 
> see y'all in the next one
> 
> i've got a fun upload planned for friday but friday's sdcc and the fandom's gonna be in mass chaos as it is so,,, guess we'll see what happens!! later!!


	14. please,, please get sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith pulls an all-nighter (by "accident"); the secret drama continues; family drama continues; ft. a hearty dose of klance because klance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be a filler idk what happened
> 
> **trigger warnings for mention/discussion of assault, legal system corruption, murder (why are they so fixated on murder), and discussion of domestic violence**

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** idk if ur awake yet

**kogayne:** i accidentally pulled an all-nighter again

**kogayne:** and i’ve come to the conclusion that we need to change our sleep schedules

**kogayne:** go to bed like super early

**kogayne:** and then wake up and watch the sun rise bc wow

**kogayne:** i drove down to the sea wall

**kogayne:** it’s beautiful down there

**kogayne:** like we need to make this a thing

**kogayne:** then we can like, hit the diner for breakfast after or something

**kogayne:** more morning dates

**kogayne:** wow this is magical

**lanceylance:** wow ur even softer when ur sleep-deprived i’m so glad i have this info now

**kogayne:** no,

**kogayne:** wait why are u even up

**lanceylance:** cmon keith u know my family

**lanceylance:** but anyway

**lanceylance:** wow ur cute

**lanceylance:** i’m totally down for this but it would be a lot easier to get up in the mornings and do stuff if u weren’t so fuckin soft and warm and cuddly

**lanceylance:** do u have any idea what ur like when u first wake up

**kogayne:** uhh

**kogayne:** clingy, probably? like i always am?

**lanceylance:** yes ur so fuckin clingy

**lanceylance:** but in like a good way

**lanceylance:** like the best way

**lanceylance:** i love it when ur clingy holy shit pls never take that the wrong way

**kogayne:** good bc i’m never gonna stop

**lanceylance:** good bc i never want u to stop

**lanceylance:** but anyway why did u pull an all-nighter aGAIN

**lanceylance:** everything okay

**lanceylance:** are there more people whose asses i need to kick when i get home

**kogayne:** no, i’m good, i just got carried away i guess??

**lanceylance:** doing what

**kogayne:** uh

**kogayne:** u know how sometimes you’ll just google one thing for fun or for research and then it spirals into you taking a journey through wikipedia and the weird part of youtube

**lanceylance:** KEITH

**kogayne:** I DIDN’T MEAN TO IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED

**kogayne:** it’s kinda just been a distraction from everything

**lanceylance:** aaand there it is

**lanceylance:** define everything

**kogayne:** wersbgwerberw alright so we settled out of court with rolo and paul and the other two guys who got arrested bc my mom wasn’t waiting on that

**kogayne:** they’re paying us for the cost of the stitches and for my next three therapy sessions which, fuck yeah, less money we’re spending

**kogayne:** rolo and the two guys are in jail for a year which FUCK YEAH

**kogayne:** LATER EX ASSHOLE

**kogayne:** except paul got out of it, he’s just gotta pay some fine because his family can ~pay that~ which fuck that

**kogayne:** i don’t have an update on his admissions status at arus but pls pls pls pls pls they need to pull thru and revoke his admission i don’t wanna see his face on campus at  a l l

**lanceylance:** number one

**lanceylance:** wow ur very expressive when ur tired

**kogayne:** omfg

**lanceylance:** two, good that we don’t have to see ur ex ever again bc if i do the next punch that gets thrown’ll be MINE

**lanceylance:** three, ooooooooof course paul got out of it -_-

**kogayne:** mmm

**kogayne:** seeing his parents yesterday was a trip considering morvok hates me still

**kogayne:** but i haven’t seen his ass so now i’m just like

**kogayne:** waiting

**lanceylance:** as if any of us are ever letting u out alone after that

**kogayne:** i wanna say “i can handle myself” but

**lanceylance:** clarification: alone at night 

**kogayne:** yeah that makes more sense

**kogayne:** altho the buddy system’s always fun

**lanceylance:** yeah and we’re buddies for life so

**kogayne:** sHUT WRETHREGRTB

**lanceylance:** NEVER

**lanceylance:** i’d say “i’ll stop gushing about you when i’m dead” but then i remembered i’d just do it in the afterlife too

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

**kogayne:** i’ll never get tired of seeing or hearing those words come from u wow

**kogayne:** wow my boyfriend loves me

**lanceylance:** keith pls get sleep ofmfrwegrwf

**kogayne:** but i’m not even tired

**lanceylance:** keith

**lanceylance:** ur extremely tired

**kogayne:** shhh no i’m nooooot

**lanceylance:** i’m about to harass shiro into harassing you

**kogayne:** I’M NOT HOME AND HE’S GOT A LATER SHIFT TODAY SO HE’S STILL ASLEEP CHECKMATE

**lanceylance:** KEITH PLS 

**kogayne:** FUCK SLEEP

**lanceylance:** YOU NEED SLEEP

**kogayne:** ONLY IF U AGREE TO MY ORIGINAL POINT FOR TEXTING

**lanceylance:** SLEEPY MORNING DATES WATCHING THE SUN RISE AND THEN FALLING ASLEEP OVER BREAKFAST IN THE DINER YES I GOT THAT I WANT THAT

**lanceylance:** … >:)

**kogayne:** oh no

**lanceylance:** i want everything with you,

**kogayne:** nOPE TOO EARLY I WILL BURST INTO TEARS

**lanceylance:** SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES

**kogayne:** NO

**lanceylance:** we’re gonna have plenty of time for morning dates and maybe one day we’ll be obnoxious and fit and go for morning HIKES to see the sun rise from the top of a mountain and we’ll have a breakfast picnic and then when we have kids we can be obnoxious to them and make them go with us and be a cheesy little family,

**kogayne:** STOP STOP STOP STOP I’M CRYING

**lanceylance:** KEEP CRYING FUCKER

**kogayne:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**lanceylance:** MY DUTY

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** promise me right now that as soon as we’re done here you’ll get sleep

**kogayne:** i promise

**lanceylance:** that’s a lie and u know it

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ mayhaps

**lanceylance:** wretgrbgrerg well i’ve gotta go anyway

**lanceylance:** i’ll talk to u later?

**kogayne:** obviously ;P

**kogayne:** love you starboy  <33

**lanceylance:** love you too starlight  <33333

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

**kroaway:** So.

**thaceofspades:** I already don’t like this

**regressionequation:** SHE OPENED WITH SO

**regressionequation:** TEA TEA TEA

**ulaztcall:** why is regris here again?

**kroaway:** No idea.

**regressionequation:** i’m the life of the party and you all know it WHAT’S THE TEA KROLIA

**kroaway:** You’ll be pleased to know that a few of Keith’s antagonists have been...dealt with.

**thaceofspades:** ...Did you kill someone?

**kroaway:** No.

**thaceofspades:** Oh thank God.

**kroaway:** Keith got jumped on Monday night.

**koliwhitevans:** What?

**kroaway:** You might remember Rolo Jones, Paul Morvok, and a handful of other students attempted to jump him on school property back in December. 

**thaceofspades:** I thought it was the very end of November.

**kroaway:** Thace.

**thaceofspades:** Continue.

**kroaway:** Rolo, Paul, and four others attempted to jump him AGAIN after he got out of work on Monday night. I was nearby, the police were called, and Rolo and two of the boys were arrested and are now sentenced to a year in jail.

**kroaway:** Keith got hurt and ended up needing stitches, which are being paid for, on top of several of his next therapy sessions.

**ulaztcall:** Oh shit.

**kroaway:** Morvok got out of it. His parents paid a fine to get him out of jail, and they apparently have some weight with the police department. Friends, and the like.

**kroaway:** So I looked into those connections.

**koliwhitevans:** Krolia…

**kroaway:** I found it interesting. Zarkon Galra’s connected to them. 

**kroaway:** Would explain how he got away with everything he has, both inside the school district and in his personal life.

**thaceofspades:** ...You’re plotting.

**thaceofspades:** Krolia, no.

**ulaztcall:** Krolia.

**ticktockantok:** Krolia no.

**koliwhitevans:** Krolia, no.

**regressionequation:** KROLIA YES

**kroaway:** I have no idea what you’re talking about.

**thaceofspades:** I’ve definitely heard Keith say that to his friends in the hallway.

**kroaway:** Thace, do not.

**thaceofspades:** I have no idea what you’re talking about.

**ulaztcall:** …

**regressionequation:** OOOO

_ (1) photo from  _ **_regressionequation_ **

**regressionequation:** this is gettin gooooooooood

**regressionequation:** personally i wanna know exactly what krolia plans to do about zarkon

**kroaway:** Well, unfortunately, the others don’t want me to do a thing.

**thaceofspades:** That’s never exactly stopped you in the past.

**kroaway:** Oh, I know.

**kroaway:** Now you just don’t get to know. 

**regressionequation:** BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**kroaway:** Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go. I’ve still got more digging to do on other people.

**thaceofspades:** …   
  


**_Teacher Troop...And Regris_ **

**thaceofspades:** She just got back to the US and is looking for work...she’s not gonna kill anyone, right?

**thaceofspades:** Like we can all agree she’s smart enough to not kill anyone?

**ulaztcall:** Maybe /she/ won’t…

**thaceofspades:** -_- And she’s smart enough to avoid the dark web?

**ulaztcall:** She was away for years, we don’t know exactly what she got up to.

**regressionequation:** yeah but like?? she’s with her son again

**regressionequation:** u guys remember the turnaround she had when keith was first born, right??? now that she’s back with him i reeeeaaaaally doubt she’d try anything super risky

**thaceofspades:** I just wanna know the plan of action in case she /does/ do something and they trace her back to us.

**koliwhitevans:** She’s smart enough to cover her tracks. I think we don’t have a thing to worry about, and we’re wasting time and energy paying attention to this. If she’s going to try something that doesn’t involve us, we let her. She’s made it clear she’s not going to listen to us.

**thaceofspades:** If you say so...I still don’t know how I feel about all of this. And I still feel like we /did/ play some part in this mess, even if it was just going at the district harder about Zarkon.

**ulaztcall:** ...Yeah.

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** THE HUMIDITY’S GONE

**carrierpidgeon:** THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN OPEN MY WINDOWS AND NOT SUFFOCATE TO DEATH

**mattata:** wow and all this time i thought u were a gremlin who sat in the dark with the windows closed and curtains drawn

**carrierpidgeon:** binch i go hiking wtf makes u think i don’t like fresh air

**hunkerdunker:** these texts all strike me more as keith texts

**carrierpidgeon:** mmmmmm no they’re not

**lanceylance:** mmm they have a trace of his vibe but they’re not keith texts

**lanceylance:** but he’d definitely be excited about the humidity being gone

**hunkerdunker:** dude the thunderstorms yesterday were NASTY you would’ve been thriving

**hunkerdunker:** zeus and thor were like, having a fistfight

**shayfromstatefarm:** so many heart attacks

**shayfromstatefarm:** trying to make coffee when you’re jumping every five minutes is nOT THE ONE

**carrierpidgeon:** LMAO SHAY ALMOST DROPPED SOMEONE’S ICED COFFEE YESTERDAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** THE GIRL FELT BAD BC SHE WAS JUMPING TOO AND TIPPED HER

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m being exposed and i don’t like it

**shayfromstatefarm:** matt keith come get ur sister

**takashmeoutside:** keith can’t come to the phone right now

**allurable:** erthrgbtrgf well that wasn’t ominous at all

**lanceylance:** DID HE FINALLY FUCKING SLEEP

**takashmeoutside:** he came home really early this morning, sat down on the couch, and then like

**takashmeoutside:** crashed

**takashmeoutside:** he’s been out ever since

**lanceylance:** yeah he decided to pull an all-nighter

**allurable:** keeeith

**lanceylance:** okay well not /decided/ to he claims it just sorta happened

**carrierpidgeon:** was he on the weird part of the internet again when he was researching

**lanceylance:** of course

**carrierpidgeon:** ah mothman

**allurable:** do we wanna know what he was researching

**lanceylance:** he didn’t say

**carrierpidgeon:** probably cryptids

**hunkerdunker:** probably cryptids

**hunkerdunker:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** DRIFT COMPATIBLE

**shayfromstatefarm:** i feel betrayed

**lanceylance:** lmfao u get used to it

**mattata:** [squints]

**lanceylance:** KEITH AND PIDGE ARE SCARILY DRIFT COMPATIBLE WHEN THEY’RE TALKING CONSPIRACY THEORIES

**carrierpidgeon:** unless it’s a nessie theory

**carrierpidgeon:** in which case we’re at each others’ throats because keith can’t accept the fact that it was just a pile of driftwood

**takashmeoutside:** DOES KEITH HAVE CRYPTID SENSES OR SOMETHING

**kogayne:** HELL YES I DO I SENSED NESSIE SLANDER

**takashmeoutside:** what the fUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** SQUARE UP KOGANE

**kogayne:** BET

**lanceylance:** sometimes i can’t help but wonder how many times i’m going to fall in love with keith’s ridiculousness,

**kogayne:** NO WE’RE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**allurable:** ...what

**lanceylance:** i’ve discovered a new way to push keith’s buttons

**lanceylance:** specifically, the “make keith flustered and soft” button

**hunkerdunker:** aaaand no one is surprised

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i have many talents

**lanceylance:** mmmmmm one of them is being flexible who wants flexible selfies

**kogayne:** NO

**lanceylance:** huehuehuehue

**lanceylance:** hey keith 

**kogayne:** WHAT

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

_ (7) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** check ur messages ;P

**hunkerdunker:** did u just send them to keith separately

**lanceylance:** mayhaps

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh thank god

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance i love u but i think keith’s the only one who needs those photos

**lanceylance:** (☞`ヮﾟ)☞ 

**kogayne:** hey, shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**kogayne:** dead to me

**shayfromstatefarm:** understandable have a nice day

**lanceylance:** keith u looooooooooove me and u loooooooooooooooooooooooove when i make u flustered

**kogayne:** keith kogane could nto be reached for comment—

**carrierpidgeon:** nto

**hunkerdunker:** nto

**takashmeoutside:** nto

**shayfromstatefarm:** nto

**mattata:** nto

**allurable:** nto

**lanceylance:** nto

**kogayne:** betrayed by everyone, truly

**hunkerdunker:** so is anything else going on with anyone

**kogayne:** wow just change the subject hunk

**hunkerdunker:** fwegrwsdfbdfsbdfb tHAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

**kogayne:** :P suuure

**hunkerdunker:** smh anyway

**hunkerdunker:** any more tea, drama

**kogayne:** my mom’s up to something but she won’t tell me what, she’s just been very intently staring at her laptop screen for the past few hours according to shiro

**carrierpidgeon:** cryptids

**hunkerdunker:** she /is/ keith’s mom after all

**kogayne:** shiro says it’s not cryptids

**mattata:** [squints] do u know what it is, kashi

**mattata:** are u just refusing to tell us

**takashmeoutside:** idk what it is she’s been very adamant about neither of us knowing

**carrierpidgeon:** dARK WEB

**allurable:** didn’t y’all set up security cameras

**takashmeoutside:** i tried zooming in, picture’s too grainy

**shayfromstatefarm:** well she proved she doesn’t want u guys dead so what’s there to worry about

**takashmeoutside:** i end up with the police on my doorstep asking for her?

**takashmeoutside:** and as i’ve stated before i am sICK OF TALKING TO THE POLICE

**kogayne:** okay so we give her another day and then we make her tell us

**carrierpidgeon:** are u really gonna just like

**carrierpidgeon:** confront ur mom like that

**kogayne:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** she worked for a sketchy government agency and left the country for sixteen years

**kogayne:** yes and i’ve been physically assaulted three times in the last year

**lanceylance:** ...no four

**lanceylance:** the fight at the beginning of the school year

**kogayne:** OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

**kogayne:** anyway,,,

**mattata:** mmm u sure ur good dude

**kogayne:** um she’s in my house

**takashmeoutside:** *my house

**kogayne:** :P

**allurable:** well good luck then

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hey u busy rn

**kogayne:** no what’s up

**kogayne:** a little early for facetime isn’t it

**lanceylance:** yeah but i’m wiped out

**kogayne:** ...physically or emotionally

**lanceylance:** ...yes?

**kogayne:** what happened

**lanceylance:** i mean, it’s kinda good what happened but?? it was draining to have go down

**lanceylance:** jackass,,, he uhh

**lanceylance:** mm

**lanceylance:** u know how emely and i got all my siblings in on the murder squad

**kogayne:** ...did u kILL HIM??

**lanceylance:** wh

**lanceylance:** NO

**lanceylance:** no but uhh hugo

**lanceylance:** u know hugo

**lanceylance:** he uh

**lanceylance:** he tried to get into an actual fistfight with jackass

**kogayne:** oh shit

**lanceylance:** abuela broke it up bc she’s the authority around here and she uh

**lanceylance:** wow lmfao she kicked jackass out and banned him from ever coming back

**kogayne:** ...but what about ur aunt carmen

**lanceylance:** she left with him but she’s,,

**lanceylance:** reconsidering

**lanceylance:** abuela’s disappointed in her and is hoping she comes back around and like, dumps his ass for good

**lanceylance:** tÍa carmen claims he’s never like this when they’re alone

**kogayne:** ...do you think…

**lanceylance:** maybe?

**kogayne:** shit

**lanceylance:** yeah hhhh

**lanceylance:** so now my mom and other aunts and uncles all wanna deal with that

**lanceylance:** and my siblings and i are just kinda like, in charge of activities now

**lanceylance:** planning out  the day

**lanceylance:** i’m just tired

**lanceylance:** and i wanna see ur face

**kogayne:** alright

_ FaceTime with  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ and  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ : 01:03:34.11 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do i promise the drama slows down soon?
> 
> no
> 
> but there will still be a bunch of fluff to ease things so make of that what u will
> 
> PLOT TIME  
> 1\. rolo  
> 2\. the woods  
> 3\. lotor and zarkon  
> 4\. the blades  
> 5\. _____'_ ________ [(5)'(1) (8)] (multiple people have gotten this now. it's a simple plot and some of y'all are getting paranoid erfwgrfwgerw)  
> 6\. ______ ________??? [(6) (8)???] (like last time, a lot of people are on the right track/paraphrased it ;D) 
> 
> next chapter should be friday, there's also a oneshot going up that day to accompany the chapter, i know it's gonna be hell with sdcc also happening  
> but also i'm redoing the plot list again bc it's the end of the week so that means more upcoming plots to introduce...huehuehuehue
> 
> SEE YA FRIDAY


	15. surprise bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me ~~till next week~~." some surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaooo i've got,, stuff to talk about in the end note :P

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** hmnn idk if ur up rn but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa my family’s been stressing me out with this whole thing with tía carmen and jackass and ive been thinking a lot lately and thinking about you and us and

**lanceylance:** i love you

**lanceylance:** so much

**lanceylance:** and i know i said in the past that plax and i dated bc we just didn’t wanna be single, and half the reason i dated nyma was just bc i thought she was hot and stuff but you???

**lanceylance:** you’re different and believe it or not you helped turn my life around bc you were the only person who pushed me and kept pushing and made me want to be better and i just

**lanceylance:** thank you

**lanceylance:** i don’t know where in my life i’d be without you and i wanted to let you know that i love and appreciate you probably more than you’ll ever know because it’s a lot more than i can express in words that do it justice

**lanceylance:** i’m not dating you to spite the people who said we’d never last and i’m not dating you because i just want a relationship and it’s not just because i find you attractive although hot damn it’s a bonus

**lanceylance:** i’m dating you because you’re you and you’re endearingly stubborn and your interests are weird and you keep being interested in them anyway and you’re a good older brother to pidge and you’re??? just so good i don’t know how i got lucky enough to have you

**lanceylance:** like?? keith kogane??? class valedictorian?? intimidating guy with the fingerless gloves and the mullet and the attitude?? i’m so glad we were friends and i’m so glad i saw past everything bc i got to know you

**lanceylance:** keith kogane, quiet boy with a heart of gold who likes photography and animals and cryptids and cuddling and who’s insecure and puts up a front to deal with that and who’s loyal for life once he decides to let you in and he’s so smart and so talented and??? wow that’s my boyfriend

**lanceylance:** i know sometimes you think you’re not good enough or i deserve someone better than u but like??? no i’m definitely the one who lucked out here and sometimes im worried /im/ the one who’s not good enough for /you/ but?? 

**lanceylance:** here we are

**lanceylance:** every day it’s like 

**lanceylance:** keith, that’s my boyfriend, that’s the guy i wanna spend the rest of my life with, he chose me back, holy crap

**lanceylance:** and i’m just??? idk where i’m going with this but i can’t stop thinking about u

**lanceylance:** u make me happy

**lanceylance:** and i hope i make u just as happy

**lanceylance:** okie doke i’ve gotta go i love you so much  <3333

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** why were u trying to make me cry at 4 AM

**kogayne:** well i shouldn’t say trying, u succeeded

**kogayne:** no wait

**kogayne:** okay i wasn’t crying at 4 AM like i just cried a little right now but why were u awake at 4 AM and what did u mean u “had to go”

**lanceylance:** oh uh

**lanceylance:** was up stargazing, yknow

**lanceylance:** then luis discovered i was out of bed and dragged me back inside

**kogayne:** ,,, so u were looking at the stars and just started,, thinking abt me

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** i could get mushy about this again do u want me to

**kogayne:** i’ve already cried once this morning, maybe later today

**lanceylance:** yes but have u considered: mushy keith

**kogayne:** yes but have u considered: i jUST WOKE UP

**lanceylance:** yes but have u considered: my softest boy, love of my life,

**kogayne:** don’t,,, dON’T

**lanceylance:** BOY I CAN’T WAIT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH

**lanceylance:** BOY I CAN’T WAIT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO EVERY SINGLE MORNING

**kogayne:** I’M LEAVING BYEE

**lanceylance:** waAAAIT NO TELL ME ABT UR DAY I WANNA TALK TO UUUU WHAT’S UR PLAAAN WYD WITH UR FRIDAY

**kogayne:** uhh idk

**kogayne:** watch the new buzzfeed unsolved? i haven’t exactly planned that far ahead

**kogayne:** so far it’s just another lazy day??

**kogayne:** everyone else is working and pidge is apparently hanging out with emily, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** okay well i have a favor to ask of u then

**kogayne:** go for it

**lanceylance:** i’ve got a package coming in

**lanceylance:** and it’s like, super important and i don’t want it to get stolen

**kogayne:** what could u possibly have ordered and wHY ARE U ORDERING THINGS WHEN UR AWAY

**lanceylance:** BECAUSE I CAN

**lanceylance:** anyway the shipment tracker says it’s supposed to be coming sometime between twelve and two today, can u just,,, hang out at my house till it gets there, then ur free to go

**kogayne:** hmmmmm

**kogayne:** i suppose

**kogayne:** don’t suppose u wanna tell me what u ordered

**lanceylance:** nope

**kogayne:** HMMMMMMMMM

**lanceylance:** it’s not engagement rings don’t get ur hopes up wrgetgwrer

**kogayne:** i mean those are expensive,,, we could always just move our promise rings to our ring fingers and call it a day,,, and then secretly ride off into the sunset

**lanceylance:** wow good to know ur still on the marriage bullshit

**kogayne:** do we neeeeeed a big ceremony can’t we just sign the papers and get a justice of the peace and make it official

**lanceylance:** our friends would kill us for getting married and not inviting them to the wedding

**kogayne:** we have one after and just

**kogayne:** never tell them we were kinda sorta already married

**lanceylance:** stop giving me bad ideas i wanna run with omfg

**kogayne:** no never

**lanceylance:** ugh what a bad influence

**kogayne:** yep i’m the worst

**lanceylance:** sounds like u need to be,,, punished,,,,,,

**kogayne:** omfg sHUT UP

**lanceylance:** >;DDDDD

**kogayne:** WHY are u like this

**lanceylance:** bc i’m a gift to this world and u know it

**kogayne:** hmmm,,, unfortunately

**lanceylance:** BUH

**lanceylance:** WAH

**lanceylance:** UNFORTUNATELY

**lanceylance:** BOI

**kogayne:** :P

**lanceylance:** smh now u really need to be punished

**kogayne:** fretbrgwberg shut uppp

**lanceylance:** NEVER I LOVE MAKING U FLUSTERED

**kogayne:** the worst

**lanceylance:** the BEST

**kogayne:** call it a draw

**lanceylance:** what are we dueling now

**lanceylance:** knife fight, gun fight,,,

**kogayne:** pls if we’re dueling we’re partners against other people

**lanceylance:** yeah uh don’t mean to bring the mood down but uh

**lanceylance:** how’s the cut doing

**kogayne:** alright, i guess?

**kogayne:** i mean, i mostly wish it didn’t exist, but it does, so it’s,, healing, u know

**kogayne:** probably getting my stitches off monday or something, idk

**kogayne:** not today and not this weekend

**kogayne:** grateful that the weather up here hasn’t been overly hot, i’m not really missing out on much with allura’s pool offer

**lanceylance:** at least that’s good

**lanceylance:** anything else going on with [waves hand] that

**kogayne:** actually there’s a lot going on and idk if i’m really supposed to know about it considering shiro and i did some snooping

**lanceylance:** why are u both chaotic

**kogayne:** bc we are

**kogayne:** anyway umm?? apparently my mom’s been digging into some criminal databases and idk if she’s supposed to have access to them

**kogayne:** number one she’s monitoring things with rolo and the two guys who wound up in jail AND she’s got a file on morvok’s family and uh,,, apparently there’s corruption in the local police system and guess who else is part of it

**lanceylance:** whoa whoa whoa wHAT

**lanceylance:** SHE’S WHAT

**lanceylance:** THERE’S WHAT

**kogayne:** yes take a sec take it all in breathe in the ridiculousness that is my ex-government spy mother

**kogayne:** she’s,, apparently not taken what i told her about zarkon harassing me back at the beginning of the year lightly

**kogayne:** there are notes to recruit the “blades” or whatever in getting at the district for the lack of action taken and stuff like that, and she’s got a whole file saved on that emancipation case with lotor and zarkon, and idk how to feel about any of this tbh

**lanceylance:** dude that’s wild and sKETCHY AS HELL

**kogayne:** i know

**kogayne:** but shiro and i couldn’t look any more bc she went to like, the bathroom, and she was coming back, but luckily i know a hacker :P

**lanceylance:** u totally got pidge in on this didn’t you

**kogayne:** yep

**kogayne:** shiro and i found out last night, so pidge hasn’t exactly had the time to really go digging, but she promised she’d work on stuff today before she hung out with emily

**kogayne:** hoping she sticks to that, but that’s all we can really do

**kogayne:** and black started warming up to her yesterday, and i guess i am too??

**lanceylance:** i mean, she saved ur butt when u were getting jumped and is apparently doing something bc u got /hurt/ so i mean

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** she’s trying, shiro’s trying,,, i gotta try too

**lanceylance:** good on u bby  <333

**lanceylance:** alright the fam is doing stuff today i gotta go! i’ll talk to u soon tho  <33333

**kogayne:** talk to u later, starboy  <3333

 

**_MCCLAN_ **

**lanceylance:** OKAY SO I HAD TO STOP TALKING TO KEITH BECAUSE IF THIS FUCKER KICKED MY SEAT AGAIN WHILE I HAD MY TEXTS WITH KEITH OPEN I WOULD’VE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT BEING ON A PLANE AND I’VE MADE IT THIS FAR I’M NOT RUINING THE SURPRISE NOW BUT OHHHH MY GOOOD

**mamamcclain:** what did you just say

**ronnierarko:** LOL SOMEONE’S IN TROUBLEEEE

**lanceylance:** ,, i almost made a snarky comment but i know better

**mamamcclain:** mhmm…

**alealejandro:** u know, if u just dropped keith’s number in the group chat,

**lanceylance:** don’t even try, demon

**marcopolo:** lance c’mooooon

**alealejandro:** LAAANCE

**hugonotvictor:** leave him alone

**emeraldly:** don’t make me come over there and kick your butts

**emeraldly:** let the boy romance his boyfriend, he put up with enough from jackson the last two weeks

**luisshmuis:** hmmm but have you considered not letting this go

**lanceylance:** MAMAAAAAAAAAA I’M BEING BULLIED BY MY BROTHERS AND I’M ALREADY BEING BULLIED BY THE CHILD KICKING MY SEAT

**lanceylance:** LITERALLY HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN TWO PLANE RIDES IN A ROW

**mamamcclain:** stop bullying your brother, children

**hugonotvictor:** are me ronnie and em included in that?? bc uhhh 

**marcopolo:** if ronnie’s not included then neither are me and luis WE’RE OLDER THAN HER

**ronnierarko:** YEAH BUT I’M NOT BULLYING HIM

**luisshmuis:** you laughed at him for not realizing he said fucker in the group chat with mamá

**ronnierarko:** OH REALLY

**mamamcclain:** LUIS

**luisshmuis:** SO I GET YELLED AT BUT LANCE DOESN’T

**lanceylance:** I’M ALREADY SUFFERING LEAVE ME ALOOONE

**luisshmuis:** BOI

**lanceylance:** MAMAAAA

**luisshmuis:** smh stop playing the favorite card

**lanceylance:** I’M NOT EVEN THE FAVORITE

**mamamcclain:** i don’t have a favorite child

**ronnierarko:** i thought it was em?

**hugonotvictor:** it’s em

**marcopolo:** open ur eyes luis em is the favorite

**lanceylance:** ^^

**emeraldly:** WHAT

**alealejandro:** smh i thought it was lance too

**lanceylance:** WHY DO ALL MY BROTHERS HAVE A VENDETTA AGAINST ME

**hugonotvictor:** excuse

**lanceylance:** smh except u, ur too old to have beef with me

**hugonotvictor:** did u just call me old

**lanceylance:** mayhaps

**ronnierarko:** he’s not wrong tho

**hugonotvictor:** V COME ON

**ronnierarko:** I’M WITH LANCE

**lanceylance:** mlm wlw solidarity

**luisshmuis:** smh

**lanceylance:** shut ur 

**lanceylance:** oh wow i can’t say that in this chat

**mamamcclain:** good boy

**marcopolo:** favoritism,,, just sayin

**mamamcclain:** i don’t have a favorite

**lanceylance:** we just established em is the favorite

**emeraldly:** lance get back to ur flight get rest

**lanceylance:** I WOULD REST IF THIS TINY DEMON WASN’T KICKING MY CHAIR

**ronnierarko:** that’s okay he can rest with his boyfriend when he gets home bc that’s apparently something he loves

**lanceylance:** I LOVE KEITH LET ME LIVE

**lanceylance:** keith is my happy place away from u demons, he makes me feel safe

**alealejandro:** are u implying u don’t feel safe

**lanceylance:** i have multiple memories from several years ago when u and marco did smack cam pranks on me while i was napping and sticking my hand in warm bowls of water and plenty of other evidence

**lanceylance:** i stan v em and hugo only

**emeraldly:** mhmm there’s a reason u get to watch my kids and not the others

**alealejandro:** the sLANCER

**lanceylance:** slancer

**lanceylance:** alejandro is a lancer #confirmed

**alealejandro:** a what

**lanceylance:** lancer

**lanceylance:** lance stan

**lanceylance:** bow down to ur king

**alealejandro:** u are very lucky this is a text conversation and ur miles away right now

**hugonotvictor:** smh lay off him ale

**alealejandro:** hmph

**lanceylance:** >:P

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** how’s it goinggggg

**kogayne:** i’ve taken to staking out your neighborhood, and this delivery truck, from the safety and comfort of your treehouse

**kogayne:** also it’s nice and breezy out, so

**lanceylance:** fuckign nerd

**kogayne:** how many times do we have to go over this

**lanceylance:** bls,, entertain it

**kogayne:** [long sigh]

**lanceylance:** u overdramatic hoe

**kogayne:** i am /your/ nerd, obviously

**lanceylance:** erhrwgbter

**lanceylance:** so how’s the stakeout been going

**kogayne:** it’s quiet

**kogayne:** although

**kogayne:** ...wait hold up a sketchy-looking car is driving down the street

**kogayne:** it’s moving really slowly

**kogayne:** ...dude wtf it just stopped in front of your house

**lanceylance:** check it out, maybe??

**kogayne:** do u want me to dIE

**kogayne:** wHY DO I HEAR CAR DOORS SLAMMING

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** hOLYHSIRETRGHREHB

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** SO HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY HOW MUCH I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND

**takashmeoutside:** what could he have possibly done now

**takashmeoutside:** i thought that half of your heart was in havana

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** HE FUCKING SURPRISED ME AND CAME HOME A WEEK EARLY

**takashmeoutside:** are u fucking kidding me

**kogayne:** HE HAD THIS PLANNED BEFORE HIS MOM EVER EVEN BOOKED FLIGHTS

**kogayne:** HE SAID IF I DIDN’T END UP GOING WITH HIM HE WAS GONNA LEAVE A WEEK AHEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE

**kogayne:** BC HE WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH ME AND???? WDEFRGWFEBRWE I LOVE HIM

**kogayne:** IF IT HADN’T BEEN FOR THE LAWS OF THIS LAND I WOULD’VE MARRIED HIM ALREADY

**takashmeoutside:** unbelievable

**kogayne:** I’M SO??? AND NOW HE’S SLEEPING ON ME BC HE HAD TO GET UP SUPER EARLY TO CATCH HIS FLIGHT AND?? EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** are u gonna tell the group chat orrr

**kogayne:** no he wants to do that but right now he just wants to be with me

**kogayne:** he didn’t tell aNYONE about this

**takashmeoutside:** probably bc we have 20 side group chats and someone was bound to slip up

**kogayne:** yeah probably

**kogayne:** i’m just so??? 

**kogayne:** ;-; 

**takashmeoutside:** and how much did u cry since he got home

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** I DIDN’T CRY

**takashmeoutside:** [squints]

**kogayne:** OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE

**takashmeoutside:** [squinting intensifies]

**kogayne:** I /MISSED HIM/ DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT GRANOLA BAR

**kogayne:** AND NOW HE’S SLEEPING ON ME AND OUR TWO CATS ARE SQUEEZED IN HERE WITH US IT’S ALMOST LIKE WE’RE ALREADY MARRIED

**takashmeoutside:** if it’s almost like ur already married then why do u need to waste the money to make it official

**kogayne:** TAX BENEFITS

**takashmeoutside:** ,,, sometimes there are questions i regret asking and this is one of them

**kogayne:** well u asked so eat it

**takashmeoutside:** i mean tax benefits means more money to buy food so technically, i can actually do that once you and lance run away with each other

**kogayne:** once we what

**takashmeoutside:** ...i was exaggerating

**takashmeoutside:** ...KEITH WHAT ARE U UP TO

**kogayne:** NOTHING THAT JUST CAUGHT ME OFF-GUARD I’M USUALLY THE ONE TALKING ABOUT ME MARRYING LANCE, UR USUALLY THE ONE TELLING ME TO SLOW DOWN

**takashmeoutside:** ...uh-huh…

**kogayne:** BELIEVE ME OR DON’T BUT U KNOW WHAT I’M GOING NOW

**kogayne:** GONNA CUDDLE LANCE WHILE HE SLEEPS BC WOW :’) I LOVE HIM

**takashmeoutside:** I KNOW

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** HEY MOTHERFUCKERS WHAT’S UP

**hunkerdunker:** this is weirdly enthusiastic

**carrierpidgeon:** did u and ur siblings finally murk ur not-uncle

**lanceylance:** lmao no but i finally got away from him

**shayfromstatefarm:** ????

**lanceylance:** psst keith

**hunkerdunker:** ...wait

_ (6) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** this asshole came back home early and surprised me

**allurable:** THAT’S SO CUTE WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** :’)

**mattata:** u left the beaches in /cuba/ to come back up /hERE/

**mattata:** THE TEMPERATURES ARE DROPPING AND IT’S SUPPOSED TO RAIN ALL WEEK AND U CHOSE TO COME BACK??

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** i missed keith 

**carrierpidgeon:** disgusting

**kogayne:** alright pidge then send me snaps of exactly what ur doing right now

**carrierpidgeon:** uhh

**kogayne:** I’M WAITING

**carrierpidgeon:** wOW WOULD U LOOK AT THAT IT’S TIME FOR THE NEW BUZZFEED UNSOLVED TO DROP I’VE GOTTA GO

**kogayne:** PIDGE

**allurable:** PIDGE

**hunkerdunker:** PIDGE

**lanceylance:** OH PI-IIIIIDGE

**lanceylance:** SHOW US THE GIRLFRIEND

**carrierpidgeon:** HOW DID U KNOW ABOUT

**carrierpidgeon:** KEEEEEEEEITH

**kogayne:** HE WANTED TO KNOW WHY ALL OF MY FRIENDS ABANDONED ME TODAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** COME TO THE CAFÉ YOU CAN LITERALLY WALK HERE???

**kogayne:** ...O SHIT U RIGHT

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** :D COFFEE DATE

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...wAIT ACTUALLY

**kogayne:** TOO LATE

**hunkerdunker:** i’d say “now we have to see them being all mushy” but there’s nothing stopping us from also being mushy

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...perhaps you’re an intellectual

**hunkerdunker:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** lol i forgot to tell u i got home safely

**lanceylance:** i got home safely

**mamamcclain:** good to hear

**mamamcclain:** how are your friends? how’s keith?

**lanceylance:** my friends are good, they’re all pretty happy to see me home, now that they know we have an extra week of summer to hang out

**lanceylance:** keith’s good, he was extremely happy to see me :)

**mamamcclain:** how are things going on his end?

**lanceylance:** good, i guess? he’s spending the night at my place

**lanceylance:** he told me he wants to introduce me to his mom at some point but idk when

**lanceylance:** i don’t think anyone in the group’s been introduced yet

**lanceylance:** like i don’t even think shiro introduced matt and allura and they’re kinda the adults of the group

**lanceylance:** squad parents, yknow

**lanceylance:** idk when that’s happening, but then again, it’s only been like, a week? since he actually decided to talk to her about his life?

**mamamcclain:** but he’s at least okay? physically? emotionally?

**lanceylance:** i mean,, i told u what happened on monday

**lanceylance:** his stitches come out at the beginning of next week

**lanceylance:** emotionally he seems to be alright tho

**mamamcclain:** good to know

**mamamcclain:** i wonder if maybe when the rest of us come home, i should invite his entire family over

**lanceylance:** mamá,,,

**mamamcclain:** maybe

**lanceylance:** i dunno

**lanceylance:** anyway is everything alright down there

**mamamcclain:** alejandro doesn’t know how to watch children

**mamamcclain:** clara and javier aren’t the happiest that you’re gone

**lanceylance:** aw :( they’ll see me in a week

**lanceylance:** my recommendation is have ronnie hang out with them

**lanceylance:** or anyone other than alejandro

**mamamcclain:** lance.

**lanceylance:** he’s a demon, clara and javier can obviously sense it

**lanceylance:** but anyway, ronnie

**lanceylance:** a good choice

**mamamcclain:** i’ll inform your sisters

**lanceylance:** u mean the favorites

**mamamcclain:** keith is my favorite child, actually

**lanceylance:** RGTEGNRTEBRNTE AMAZING THAT’S FAIR

**lanceylance:** speaking of keith, gotta go

**lanceylance:** te quieroooo

**mamamcclain:** te quiero mijo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance sent those texts at the beginning while sitting in the airport, sleep-deprived, thinking abt how excited he was to return home to the boyf
> 
>  **now, i'm just gonna get the announcement outta the way:**  
>  the squad up universe is pretty much ending after this fic. [cue everyone screaming, picking up their pitchforks and rotten vegetables, or crying.] there's more than one reason for this, but a specific catalyst in making this decision happened yesterday--however, it's not the only reason.  
> i was already on the fence about continuing the series after this fic bc i'm entering college, and as much fun as writing this is, and as easy as it is to write compared to my other fics, plotting _does_ still take time, and i'm churning out sometimes four or five chapters a week. like, i've got other fics i wanna write, y'know? and by the time college starts, this series will have been going on for like,, a year. a whole _year_ of weekly (and at some points, _daily_ new content).  
>  another reason for this happened yesterday at sdcc. i won't say much, bc i know there are some of you out there who are adamant about going into the new season completely blind, but a lot of you already know what i'm thinking about, and some of you already commented on it. the stuff we learned at sdcc was stuff i was unprepared for. it's not like krolia, where i knew she would come eventually and i was prepared to work her in in a way that worked and felt natural. i feel...sort of guilty, almost, to continue this with what i know now, and i can't see myself continuing this for another year or more with this knowledge in mind. however, i also can't work in the new things we learned in a way that feels right without screwing up a lot of plot arcs ~~like one from early in squad up~~ and messing around heavily with character dynamics.  
>  so. that being said. amnm is the last chatfic in the series. i'll probably keep updating daalgoitf and esotnssm for a while, and maybe i'll write the occasional college oneshot or two for kl, but this world's pretty much over...by the end of august.   
> i'll probably say more on this closer to the end, after s7 when most of you have watched and understand what i'm talking about, if you haven't seen the spoilers everyone's been shrieking about already, but, yeah. multiple of you have already asked about this specific plot point, and i wanted to give an answer asap so i'm not leading anyone on.
> 
> ANYWAY THAT OUTTA THE WAY LET'S DIVE INTO THE PLOTS BC THERE'S STILL LIKE A MONTH OF THIS LEFT AND I'VE GOT A BUNCH OF ARCS TO TAKE CARE OF AND [lies on the floor and shrieks]  
> NEW PLOT LIST HERE WE GO (there are other plots from the old list still in motion, and will be listed here)  
> 1\. the woods  
> 2\. lotor and zarkon  
> 3\. the blades  
> 4\. _____'_ ________ [(5)'(1) (8)] (a lot more people are getting this now that i've called you all out for being paranoid)  
> 5\. ______ ________??? [(6) (8)???] (more people are getting this since that time i tweeted that people were finally getting this and you all went snooping in the comments to see who i was talking about)  
> 6\. _______ ______ _____ [(7) (6) (5)] [new!]  
> 7\. ______ _____ ___ _____ [(6) (5) (3) (5)] [new!]  
> 8\. _____ ___ _______ [(5) (3) (7)] [new!]
> 
> alright y'all...see ya in the next chapter!!


	16. meet the parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group meets krolia, ft other shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO SORRY THIS IS UP SO LATE THIS IS THE MONDAY CHAPTER
> 
> NO TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY CHAPTER, DEBATING DOING A THURSDAY CHAPTER, PROBABLY DEFINITELY A FRIDAY CHAPTER
> 
> AIGHT HERE U GO

**_JULANCE_ **

**kogayne:** uhh

**kogayne:** is everyone awake,, bc this has to happen before the café opens

**kogayne:** question not @ lance

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m awake but /is lance/

**kogayne:** yes, he is, and is currently very cuddly

**kogayne:** probably bc it’s cool and raining and i’m very warm, but

**carrierpidgeon:** barf

**kogayne:** oh hush ur whipepd for ur gf

**carrierpidgeon:** whipepd

**allurable:** good morning whipepd children

**mattata:** LMAO

**mattata:** hi i’m awake

**takashmeoutside:** krolia and i are awake

**kogayne:** and how is mom

**takashmeoutside:** fine? she says she’ll meet us down there, i can go down early with everyone else

**kogayne:** alright then

**hunkerdunker:** y’all want me to make u coffees when we get there, just so we’re all awake

**hunkerdunker:** i’m much less stressed when i’m handling food

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow my boyfriend is a blessing

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk garrett, absolute gem

**hunkerdunker:** aw thanks i try

**hunkerdunker:** what does everyone want

**carrierpidgeon:** DEATH COFFEE

**allurable:** french vanilla 

**lanceylance:** caramel mocha swirl my dude

**kogayne:** ^ make that 2 but i want mine with espresso shots

**shayfromstatefarm:** hazelnut

**mattata:** hit me with hazelnut and vanilla

**takashmeoutside:** i just want mine black

**hunkerdunker:** right on it

**hunkerdunker:** thank u for not having complicated orders @ everyone but pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** :P

**lanceylance:** she’s a gremlin what did we expect

**hunkerdunker:** that’s fair

**carrierpidgeon:** [:P intensifies]

**lanceylance:** oh hush ur gremlinness

**carrierpidgeon:** oh hush i liked it better when u were out of the country

**lanceylance:** :O

**lanceylance:** hOW DARE

**lanceylance:** IT IS /LANCE WEEK/

**hunkerdunker:** oh god not again

**lanceylance:** TIS MY BIRTHWEEK AND I AM BEING SLANDERED

**takashmeoutside:** okay trina vega

**lanceylance:** sHIRO NOT YOU TOO

**carrierpidgeon:** ...do we have time for morning discourse

**lanceylance:** more like mOURNING DISCOURSE BECAUSE I’M BEING SLANDERED

**shayfromstatefarm:** no we do not have time i need to get ready i’m not used to being this early to the opening shift

**shayfromstatefarm:** can we make it afternoon discourse

**carrierpidgeon:** fine

**kogayne:** i’m suddenly afraid

**carrierpidgeon:** wow mothman shows up /after/ aquaman’s done being slandered

**kogayne:** ...don’t u dare make me ship this

**kogayne:** do NOT

**lanceylance:** he is an EXCELLENT boyfriend he just cuddled with me the whole time, he doesn’t need to come at u hEATHENS bc i can HANDLE MYSELF and HE KNOWS IT

**allurable:** oh my god lance’s birthday is saturday

**lanceylance:** i was promised a bounce house that better be happening

**allurable:** oH MY GOD

**lanceylance:** GET ON IT

**allurable:** you haven’t even been home for a week and you’re already being demanding who even are you

**carrierpidgeon:** the same person he’s always been

**lanceylance:** uh huh, yup, i see, just keep slandering ol lancey during his birthweek

**lanceylance:** whatever!!

**lanceylance:** KEITH AND I ARE GONNA HEAD OUT SEE Y’ALL AT THE CAFÉ SLANDERERS

**carrierpidgeon:** boi u wanna go

**lanceylance:** MMM

**kogayne:** okay, no, no fistfighting until after my mom leaves

**hunkerdunker:** leaving now omw to pick up shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’ll be there soon then

**takashmeoutside:** keith, i’m leaving now, your mom’s gonna leave soon

**mattata:** oof i better head on out then

**takashmeoutside:** carpool?

**mattata:** i also have the gremlin

**takashmeoutside:** that works for me, i’ll be there in five

**allurable:** well i suppose i should be going too then

**hunkerdunker:** see y’all there

**kogayne:** hoo boy this is happening

**kogayne:** y’all are finally gonna meet my mom haha wOW THIS ISN’T NERVE-WRACKING AT ALL

**kogayne:** I’M GONNA GO

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so how did things go after i left

**kogayne:** alright, i guess

**kogayne:** not much else happened

**kogayne:** hunk shay and pidge started getting ready for work and then suddenly mom wanted to talk to lance alone

**takashmeoutside:** :O did she give him the shovel talk

**kogayne:** the what

**takashmeoutside:** “break my kid’s heart and i’ll break your face.” yknow like that

**takashmeoutside:** shovel

**takashmeoutside:** kill lance, with or without a shovel, then use the shovel to dig the grave she’ll throw lance’s body in because he hurt you

**kogayne:** okay so no i don’t /think/ she gave lance the shovel talk

**kogayne:** if she did he definitely didn’t mention it

**takashmeoutside:** then what did she say to him

**kogayne:** she just kinda asked him about our relationship, i guess?? like if i made him happy, if he liked being with me, if he thought he was treating me well, what he thought about me

**takashmeoutside:** LMFAO

**kogayne:** shut ur fuck it gets worse

**kogayne:** she had us SIT TOGETHER AFTERWARD AND WAS LIKE “DOES HE MAKE U HAPPY KEITH”

**kogayne:** SHE WAS ASKING ME FOR HOW I FELT ABT OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM

**takashmeoutside:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**kogayne:** WORST OLDER BROTHER EVER

**kogayne:** AND THEN AFTER THAT SHE TOLD LANCE HE WAS A GOOD GUY AND TOLD US TO LIKE??? CHERISH EACH OTHER?? AND THEN SHE LET LANCE GO AND BASICALLY RETOLD ME EVERYTHING

**kogayne:** SHE WAS LIKE “SO HE TREATS U WELL??” AND WHEN I FINALLY GAVE HER AN ANSWER SHE WAS BASICALLY LIKE “DON’T MAKE MY MISTAKE, DON’T LET HIM GO”

**takashmeoutside:** well that’s...interesting

**kogayne:** LIKE?? SHE’S BASICALLY SAID “DON’T LET HIM GO EVEN IF U /THINK/ IT’S A GOOD IDEA” AND THEN I REALIZED SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HER LEAVING DAD BUT I WAS THINKING ABOUT OTHER STUFF AND??? SHE CAN’T JUST DROP A WISDOM BOMB ON ME BEFORE WORK

**kogayne:** AS IT IS I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TEXTING BUT SHAY LET ME OFF FOR FIVE MINUTES TO YELL ABOUT IT

**takashmeoutside:** well i just have /impeccable/ timing

**kogayne:** yes, truly incredible

**takashmeoutside:** so is that all that happened

**kogayne:** yeah, she left, idk where she went off to, but now we’re all at work

**kogayne:** except lance, who insists on flirting with me from five feet away while i’m trying to handle customers

**takashmeoutside:** when ur mom asked if he made u happy and treated u well u said yes didn’t u

**kogayne:** fuckin obviously???

**takashmeoutside:** this is why u love him

**takashmeoutside:** bc now everyone can plainly see how much he loves u and how not available u are

**kogayne:** hmm...i do like it when lance shows me off and proclaims me as his bf…

**takashmeoutside:** whipped

**kogayne:** AND WHAT IF I AM

**kogayne:** LIKE I TOLD MY MOM HE’S MY HAPPY PLACE

**takashmeoutside:** i thought cryptid-hunting in the woods and taking pictures was ur happy place

**kogayne:** that’s my second happy place lance is and always will be my first I LOVE HIM

**takashmeoutside:** so now that ur mom’s finally met him will u pls come home and sleep in ur own bed for once

**kogayne:** can i bring lance and the cats

**takashmeoutside:** that’s

**takashmeoutside:** that’s literally the whole point of “so now that ur mom’s finally met him”

**takashmeoutside:** YES

**kogayne:** i mean even if u said no i was probably gonna do it anyway

**takashmeoutside:** -_- i had a feeling

**takashmeoutside:** get back to work

**kogayne:** hmm fine

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

**kroaway:** Did my son always have frequent displays of affection with his boyfriend during the school day, or are they just doing this because it’s summer and they can?

**thaceofspades:** ...Why is this the first message I’m receiving this morning?

**kroaway:** Keith finally introduced me to his friends. Lovely people. But he seems especially attached to Lance.

**ulaztcall:** See, I got off easy and didn’t have Lance in my classes.

**thaceofspades:** I had Keith and Lance different periods. They made it a point to interrupt my class to have PDA with each other.

**thaceofspades:** Truly your kid, Krolia.

**ticktockantok:** They were usually too tired in my class to do anything but lay on top of each other and pretend they were taking notes, but anyway, don’t try and distract us, Kro.

**ticktockantok:** What have you been up to?

**kroaway:** You mean aside from plotting out a smear campaign to turn the parents on the school board if they don’t do something about the abuses going on behind the scenes? And besides still hunting for the two gross assholes who decided to attack my son and his friend in the woods almost a year ago? Nothing much.

**koliwhitevans:** ...I really can’t bring myself to be mad over that development.

**koliwhitevans:** This school board fucking sucks.

**thaceofspades:** KOL

**koliwhitevans:** It’s true and you know it, Thace.

**ticktockantok:** ...I mean, fair.

**regressionequation:** I WANT IN ON THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN

**ticktockantok:** Regris.

**regressionequation:** you guys talk nonstop shit about the school board and the district and kol’s in so??? what’s the problem clock man

**ticktockantok:** Clock man? Really?

**regressionequation:** tick tock binch

**ticktockantok:** Why do we still have Regris in this chat if he adds nothing useful to the conversation?

**regressionequation:** >:O HOW DARE

**regressionequation:** you’re all uptight i am the levity if i was not here you would all fall to pieces

**regressionequation:** y’all would’ve attempted to murder krolia by now

**kroaway:** Oh?

**thaceofspades:** That’s an exaggeration.

**regressionequaton:** [sips tea] but that’s none of my business

**kroaway:** Are you all doubting me or something?

**koliwhitevans:** No.

**regressionequation:** yes

**ulaztcall:** WHY IS REGRIS HERE?

**regressionequation:** :P

**thaceofspades:** Just wary, Krolia. Don’t go killing a man.

**kroaway:** And why would you think that?

_ (1) photo from  _ **_thaceofspades_ **

**thaceofspades:** You mean aside from the time you told us murder was on the table in regards to the two men the police are searching for from back in October?

**kroaway:** ...Well, I mean it. I’m not killing people.

**kroaway:** Not yet.

**thaceofspades:** Krolia…

**kroaway:** Okay, I don’t have any plans within the next few months to murder people. At the moment. Plans are 90% not subject to change.

**koliwhitevans:** Better than her usual.

**ticktockantok:** Unfortunately.

**kroaway:** Anyway.

**kroaway:** Can we get back to my original point?

**koliwhitevans:** I thought we answered that.

**kroaway:** Did Lance treat him well? Are they good kids? Good for each other?

**ulaztcall:** Are you really asking us about your son’s relationship?

**kroaway:** Yes.

**kroaway:** I need to know whether my son is truly being taken care of, or if I’ve overlooked anything.

**ticktockantok:** But...you just said...you said Lance seemed nice, you sat down with them…

**kroaway:** I’m just confirming from outside sources.

**regressionequation:** guys she’s a conspiracy theorist and worked for the government cmon keep up u know she’s gotta be thorough

**thaceofspades:** Fine. From what I could tell, yes. I know there were multiple instances one of them would be having a bad day and suddenly leave class to go meet up with the other, and then they returned to class feeling seemingly better.

**ulaztcall:** They got yelled at for PDA in the halls on more than one occasion.

**ticktockantok:** They were constantly cuddling and holding hands. They’re in love, Krolia, don’t worry about a thing.

**kroaway:** Just confirming. Thank you.

**regressionequation:** she’s gotta make sure she doesn’t have to kill the boyfriend

**koliwhitevans:** Don’t kill the boyfriend.

**thaceofspades:** Please don’t. He’s a good kid. That whole group was a good group.

**kroaway:** Apparently. That’s what Keith’s cousin said.

**thaceofspades:** Shiro?

**kroaway:** Yes.

**thaceofspades:** Good kid, too. One of my brightest. They’re capable people, Krolia. Good hearts. Don’t worry about a thing.

 

**_mcc(omp)lain(er)s_ **

**emeraldly:** LANCE HOLY SHIT DUDE

**lanceylance:** whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

**emeraldly:** NO DUDE LISTEN

**emeraldly:** WE FOUND OUT WHY CARMEN WON’T DUMP JACKASS’S CRUSTY BUTT

**ronnierarko:** for a fucking ridiculous reason too

**lanceylance:** OHOHOHO?

**emeraldly:** even when she dumped him at christmas they were sTILL LIVING TOGETHER

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**emeraldly:** turns out the fucker’s financially dependent on her and she’s too nice to let him suffer on his own even tho he fUCKING DESERVES IT

**hugonotvictor:** she said bc they kept living together she’s been allowed to see him being a good person and thinks he’s still worth redemption

**lanceylance:** uh no boi is a raging homophobe and supports the crusty tangerine attempting to run the nation into the ground let his ass go

**luisshmuis:** smh that’s what literally everyone else is telling her

**emeraldly:** she’s still stuck w him till the end of the week bc she paid to get him to cuba and she can’t just leave him but after that she doesn’t know what to do

**lanceylance:** dump him??? tell him to get all his belongings and gtfo??????? binch wtf

**marcopolo:** that’s what we’re sAYING

**alealejandro:** but alas, jackass’s power is apparently too strong

**lanceylance:** wHAT POWER?? HE LOOKS LIKE A FOOT

**marcopolo:** well to be fair, some people have sexy feet

**lanceylance:** do u ever think before u text

**ronnierarko:** marco has a foot fetish #confirmed

**lanceylance:** brb gonna get that trending on local twitter

**marcopolo:** nO

**lanceylance:** TRAGIC TOO LATE

**luisshmuis:** smh can’t this be a judgment-free zone where we all have whatever fetishes we please

**lanceylance:** again

**lanceylance:** DO YOU PEOPLE EVER THINK BEFORE U TEXT

**emeraldly:** how am i related to u people

**lanceylance:** excuse me i better not be included i am a gift to this world and anyone would kill to be related to me

**alealejandro:** mmmmm…………….

**lanceylance:** BOI

_ (1) photo from  _ **_alealejandro_ **

**lanceylance:** DON’T U “DID Y’ALL HEAR SUMN” ME FUCKER

**alealejandro:** too late

**ronnierarko:** so much betrayal in the gc today wow this is unbelievable

**ronnierarko:** wait till my gf hears about this

**alealejandro:** ur WHAT

**marcopolo:** SINCE WHEN

**emeraldly:** YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME??

**lanceylance:** OOOO GET IT RONNIEEE

**hugonotvictor:** y’all didn’t know? smh

**luisshmuis:** wait hold up how does hugo know but the rest of us didn’t

**ronnierarko:** hugo wtf when did u find out

**hugonotvictor:** ur not smiling at pictures of puppies every time u look at ur phone, it was the only obvious conclusion

**ronnierarko:** THIS IS SLANDER

**ronnierarko:** but yeah anyway i’ve had a girlfriend for like?? 7 months

**lanceylance:** WHAT

**ronnierarko:** i made out with a cute girl at a party on new year’s eve bc we were both single

**ronnierarko:** and wow what do u know now we’re dating

**lanceylance:** i’m

**emeraldly:** ...wow

**hugonotvictor:** congratulations on having more game than the rest of us

**alealejandro:** i can’t get a girl to look at me for more than five minutes

**lanceylance:** that’s reasonable

**alealejandro:** boi we share the same gene pool

**lanceylance:** no i mean ur a dick like 50% of the time

**alealejandro:** WHAT

**lanceylance:** I SAID WHAT I SAID

**alealejandro:** WHY

**lanceylance:** I HAVE MY REASONS

**emeraldly:** WORLD STARRRRR

**hugonotvictor:** em no don’t encourage them

**ronnierarko:** she’s doing it wrong

**emeraldly:** wh

**ronnierarko:** WELCOME TO DRAMA ALERT I’M YOUR HOST KILLERRRRRRR KEEEEEEMSTAAAARRRRRR

**emeraldly:** SHUT

**alealejandro:** WHY IS NO ONE SPEAKING UP

**emeraldly:** I MEAN,,,

**ronnierarko:** you’ve said a lot of Not Good things in the past

**lanceylance:** I’M STILL BITTER

**alealejandro:** NAME ONE

**lanceylance:** remember when i first admitted i liked keith

**lanceylance:** and u made fun of me bc i was a baby bi

**lanceylance:** and em almost broke ur nose

**alealejandro:** I SAID SORRY

**lanceylance:** BUT THAT WASN’T THE FIRST NOR THE LAST TIME

**luisshmuis:** okay but like,

**marcopolo:** oop

**luisshmuis:** we’re all humans here,

**lanceylance:** oh wow look at that i gotta go

**luisshmuis:** COWARD

**lanceylance:** BYE

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** is anyone ready for afternoon discourse

**kogayne:** what kind of discourse could you possibly want us to participate in

**carrierpidgeon:** well are u all off of work bc i was gonna have us do a victorious fancast

**hunkerdunker:** fwbtergwbw

**hunkerdunker:** do i say it

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we all thinking it

**kogayne:** ...wAIT NO

**kogayne:** DON’T EVEN

**kogayne:** NOT DOING IT NOPE THINK OF DIFFERENT DISCOURSE

**takashmeoutside:** LMAO

**kogayne:** SHUT UP SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** fine then uhh

**carrierpidgeon:** jeez what’s some discourse we haven’t had

**allurable:** what was everyone’s pokemon go team when the game was super relevant two years ago

**mattata:** why are u speaking like i stopped

**allurable:** WHAT WAS EVERYONE’S POKEMON GO TEAM

**lanceylance:** valor :P

**carrierpidgeon:** i wanted to say i had him pegged for mystic bc blue but yeah, that’s accurate

**carrierpidgeon:** i was mystic tho

**mattata:** mystic siblings fOR THE WIN WE TOOK OVER SO MANY GYMS TOGETHER

**takashmeoutside:** i was also mystic

**allurable:** why were so many of u mystic

**allurable:** i say, as if i wasn’t also mystic

**shayfromstatefarm:** i was instinct

**kogayne:** same

**carrierpidgeon:** I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

**takashmeoutside:** we wanted to make a mystic squad and keith was just

**takashmeoutside:** over there, odd one out

**hunkerdunker:** :P instinct squad

**carrierpidgeon:** THERE’S NO WAY THIS GROUP CHAT IS DIVIDED BETWEEN INSTINCT AND MYSTIC

**lanceylance:** i’m here too

**carrierpidgeon:** an anomaly, among the mystic-valor war that went down that year

**kogayne:** shiro should be on instinct and pidge should be on valor but they all watered it down with the “mystic is ravenclaw and valor is gryffindor and instinct is hufflepuff” stereotypes 

**allurable:** but isn’t...shiro...a gryffindor

**kogayne:** yes but he wouldn’t rely on a pokemon’s power

**kogayne:** okay i get he can fit in mystic but he’s so much more of instinct

**kogayne:** and he BETRAYED ME

**takashmeoutside:** I THOUGHT U WOULD’VE PICKED VALOR

**kogayne:** ???? BOI

**takashmeoutside:** RED???

**kogayne:** I READ THE DESCRIPTIONS BEFORE I CHOSE A TEAM U FUCKER

**carrierpidgeon:** do u ever regret the discourse u start

**kogayne:** OWN UP TO UR MYSTAKES

**allurable:** ,,, ur wHAT

**kogayne:** IT WAS A TYPO BC I WAS STILL ON THE POKEMON GO TEAMS BUT MY PUN STANDS

**lanceylance:** is it ever possible to fall even more in love with the person you’re already completely in love with

**takashmeoutside:** aren’t u two sitting in the same room

**lanceylance:** everyone has to know how much i love keith

**lanceylance:** which is infinitely and forever

**lanceylance:** <3333333 uwu

**kogayne:** :)  <3333

**allurable:** anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO AGAIN SORRY THIS WAS UP SO LATE 
> 
> now,, it's time for the Plot List  
> 1\. the woods  
> 2\. lotor and zarkon  
> 3\. the blades  
> 4\. _____'_ ________ [(5)'(1) (8)] (a lot of you got this)  
> 5\. ______ ________??? [(6) (8)???] (this too)  
> 6\. mcclain family drama [NEW REVEAL!] (ngl i forgot what this is and had to talk it over by texting beatrice until i remembered)  
> 7\. krolia meets the squad [NEW REVEAL!] (no one guessed this lol)  
> 8\. _____ ___ _______ [(5) (3) (7)] (this one's coming down the pipeline probably early august...hmmm)
> 
> also shoutout to [Bubblegum146](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblegum146/pseuds/Bubblegum146) for their comment on [treasures untold](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15412152), the oneshot that takes place at the beginning of this chapter. you inspired the shovel talk section (bc i had no idea what that is and had to google it) so thanks!!
> 
> aight see y'all in the next one!!


	17. rip klance and hunay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent tuesday-thursday chapters: keith gets his stitches out, keith still spends most of his time lowkey avoiding his mom, ??? i dunno
> 
> today: the crew preps for lance's birthday, while hunk and lance spend the day in the airport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title has absolutely no significance i just like fucking with u guys
> 
> not fucking-fucking
> 
> fuck fucking-fucking
> 
> i'm a non-fucking asexual
> 
> anyway here's the chapter

**_Lance Protection Program_ **

**kogayne:** good morning everyone i need a favor

**shayfromstatefarm:** [glances at calendar]

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is about lance’s birthday isn’t it

**kogayne:** why yes it is would you look at that

**kogayne:** i need to be out most of the day setting up his present, i need y’all to keep the boy distracted till tonight

**allurable:** can’t help u, currently setting up the house for his party

**kogayne:** okay i need help from anyone who isn’t allura in keeping my boyfriend occupied for several hours so he doesn’t go looking for me

**kogayne:** i mean he’s supposed to go to the airport later and get his family but there are flight delays bc of the storms moving in so

**kogayne:** wait actually maybe i don’t need u guys

**hunkerdunker:** isn’t he gonna get lonely sitting in an airport by himself for hours waiting for his family

**kogayne:** ,,, yeah he uh

**kogayne:** was not the happiest when i told him i had things to do today and could not, unfortunately, be there in the airport with him

**kogayne:** would anyone be willing to take one for the team

**hunkerdunker:** STEP ASIDE FOOLS HUNKERDUNKER IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY

**kogayne:** a gem, truly

**carrierpidgeon:** don’t u have work today

**hunkerdunker:** would u be willing to cover my shift 

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m already on

**shayfromstatefarm:** we can put lotor on don’t worry abt it

**takashmeoutside:** shay, pidge, and lotor

**takashmeoutside:** now there’s a strange combination you don’t see every day

**carrierpidgeon:** welp you’ll see it today if u stop at bb 

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve gotta be at work today

**mattata:** ^^

**kogayne:** yeah u two have fun

**kogayne:** shiro idk how late i’m coming back and what else i might end up doing today so if i’m not home when u get back don’t freak out

**takashmeoutside:** alrighty then

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** do u have ur mom’s number yet?

**kogayne:** ...no…

**takashmeoutside:** are u kidding me

**kogayne:** i survived my whole life without it i didn’t really think it was necessary to ask for it

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**takashmeoutside:** she’s ur mom, ur bonding with her, she lives here now, i think maybe u should at least keep it in ur phone

**takashmeoutside:** u don’t need to text her but it’s still good to have it on hand

**kogayne:** do i haaaaaaaaaaave tooooooooooooo

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** fiiiiiiiiiiine

**kogayne:** do u have it

**takashmeoutside:** as a matter of fact, i do

_ (1) contact from  _ **_takashmeoutside_ **

**takashmeoutside:** put it in ur phone

**kogayne:** alright alright i’m on it

**takashmeoutside:** and now what’s this you’re doing for lance that u have to be out of the house

**kogayne:** u promise not to tell him

**takashmeoutside:** why would i cross the kid who sleeps with a knife

**kogayne:** ...alright fair enough

**kogayne:** i’m basically setting up a scavenger hunt

**kogayne:** and putting polaroids of us and him and stuff that he likes or that reminds me of him all around town with clues on the back that lead to the next one

**kogayne:** and don’t worry i’m putting them in very covert places where they also can’t get rained on

**takashmeoutside:** oh really now

**kogayne:** yeah, the whole thing ends at the beach

**takashmeoutside:** is that all ur getting him

**kogayne:** wtf no what kind of boyfriend do u take me for

**kogayne:** this is just the part i need to be out of the house for aka the part u freakin asked about

**takashmeoutside:** well alright then

**takashmeoutside:** what else did u get him

**kogayne:** a new case for his guitar

**kogayne:** his is really old and kinda battered and he’s been needing a new one for a while now

**kogayne:** and i also,, may have written a poem for him

**takashmeoutside:** deep emo poet keith strikes again

**kogayne:** shut ur fUCK SHIRO

**kogayne:** anyway i’ve gotta go so i can get stuff set up before the rain moves in

**takashmeoutside:** well then i’ll let u go

**takashmeoutside:** have fun be careful and if anything goes wrong text ur mom bc i’m on till late

**kogayne:** u ass

**takashmeoutside:** :P

 

**_hunkerdunker > lanceylance_ **

**hunkerdunker:** DUDE DID U LEAVE FOR THE AIRPORT YET

**lanceylance:** no?

**hunkerdunker:** GOOD I’M COMING WITH U

**lanceylance:** :O FOR REAL

**hunkerdunker:** YEAH FOR REAL WHY WOULD I JUST TEXT U LIKE “HEY LET ME KEEP U COMPANY FOR SEVERAL HOURS” JUST TO SAY SIKE?

**lanceylance:** I DUNNO

**lanceylance:** DUDE I’LL BE OVER IN LIKE 20 MINUTES IS THAT COOL

**hunkerdunker:** I’M LITERALLY LEAVING FOR UR HOUSE RN TO SAVE U THE GAS DON’T GO ANYWHERE, WE CAN EVEN TAKE MY MINIVAN TO THE AIRPORT

**lanceylance:** BLESS

**lanceylance:** I LOVE U

**hunkerdunker:** LOVE U TOO DUDE

 

**_JULANCE_ **

**lanceylance:** so my gratitude today is that my best friend is pulling thru and keeping me company at the airport unlike sOME PEOPLE

**kogayne:** :P

**kogayne:** i hope u two enjoy urselves

**kogayne:** i’ve got important business to take care of

**lanceylance:** “important” huh

**kogayne:** boi u already know i’ve got stuff to do, i have been quite busy already

**lanceylance:** :P suuuuuuuuuuure

**kogayne:** mmhmmmmm believe what u want starboy

**carrierpidgeon:** [cups hands around mouth] FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**lanceylance:** aren’t u at work

**carrierpidgeon:** yes and

**lanceylance:** ??? go back to work gremlin i’m not fighting keith

**lanceylance:** not until we’re back in the same place so we can square up (ง •̀_•́)ง 

**kogayne:** oho u reeaaaaaally think u can take me in a fight

**lanceylance:** all i gotta do is drop into a split and ur immediately incapacitated bc u can’t get enough of all tHIS

**shayfromstatefarm:** and today on “things i regret opening the group chat to”: the mental image of lance dropping into a split

**lanceylance:** ethrsgbnrtdeb bINCH IT’S JUST A SPLIT

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes but u followed it up with keith getting flustered and then my mind just kinda goes places after that

**kogayne:** WELL THIS GROUP CHAT IS CANCELLED

**takashmeoutside:** finally, we’re free

**kogayne:** SHUT

**allurable:** lance!! hunk!! how /is/ the airport on this fine afternoon

**lanceylance:** crowded with people angry about flight delays

**lanceylance:** i called my sister on the drive up here and she was complaining too

**allurable:** veronica or emely

**lanceylance:** i called em but i could hear veronica and marco yelling in the background

**hunkerdunker:** he had speaker on so i could talk and then i almost swerved into the other lane bc i was so startled abt how loud they were being

**kogayne:** i leave u alone with my boyfriend for one day,

**hunkerdunker:** rtnhegbhtegrbr BLAME HIS SIBLINGS

**lanceylance:** BLAME MY SIBLINGS

**kogayne:** :O hunk is moving in on my drift territory

**hunkerdunker:** :P that’s what u get when u don’t take ur boy to the airport

**lanceylance:** relationship ended with keith hunk is my boyfriend now

**shayfromstatefarm:** nOW WAIT A MINUTE

**lanceylance:** shh ur also at work just let it happen

**shayfromstatefarm:** i can’t believe

**allurable:** rip hunay and klance

**allurable:** HANCE RISE

**mattata:** [world’s_tiniest_violin.mp3] a moment of silence for klance and hunay

**kogayne:** how is it silence if you’ve got the world’s tiniest violin going

**mattata:** DON’T ASK QUESTIONS JUST SUFFER

**kogayne:** WELL THEN

**lanceylance:** but anyway,, what’s everyone else up to today, aside from my traitor boyfriend

**kogayne:** how is hunk a traitor if he’s sitting in the airport with u

**lanceylance:** boi

**kogayne:** ;P

**carrierpidgeon:** well shay and i are working

**mattata:** and so are me and kashi

**allurable:** my dad needed help with stuff and i am!! suffering!! bc he and coran are insufferable!!!

**lanceylance:** and how is that gorgeous man

**allurable:** impatiently awaiting school to start up again

**carrierpidgeon:** FUCK I HAVE SUMMER HOMEWORK I HAVEN’T TOUCHED

**lanceylance:** pfffft can’t relate

**shayfromstatefarm:** we still have things we need to do before college starts

**lanceylance:** shay :) hush :)

**hunkerdunker:** did u just tell my gf to hush

**takashmeoutside:** can you guys make up your minds on who you’re dating

**lanceylance:** no fuck u

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**kogayne:** no one’s dating anyone dating cancelled until everyone learns how to handle relationships nicely

**carrierpidgeon:** :O leave me out of this

**carrierpidgeon:** i can handle my relationship just fine

**lanceylance:** i give it a week before pidge comes to us with relationship drama

**carrierpidgeon:** BOI U WANNA BET

**lanceylance:** 20 SOUND GOOD

**carrierpidgeon:** UR ON

**lanceylance:** BET

**mattata:** are we taking sides here

**lanceylance:** no bc i don’t wanna pay more money than i have to

**mattata:** fair enough i don’t feel like losing money

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** okay sO

**lanceylance:** I’VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT WE REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO WAIT THIS LONG BECAUSE HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK

**kogayne:** whaaaat are u on about

**kogayne:** i thought hunk was ur new bf now

**lanceylance:** erhbnbetrntebnrg shut ur fuck u know ur the light of my life

**kogayne:** yeah but i like hearing u say it :)

**lanceylance:** u little shit

**kogayne:** ur little shit

**lanceylance:** oh so noooooooow u wanna play along

**kogayne:** and what, u suddenly don’t /want/ me to play along?

**lanceylance:** now that’s just not true and you know it

**kogayne:** :P anyway why are u texting me in all caps, what didn’t we have to wait this long for

**lanceylance:** the news was on and i was watching it and?? nick jonas and priyanka chopra are engaged already and they’ve only been dating for tWO MONTHS

**lanceylance:** WE’RE TWO /YEARS/ AND TWO MONTHS IN

**lanceylance:** AND I WANNA MARRY UR FUCKIN MULLET HEAD ALREADY

**kogayne:** ertrnebrhtemjyrf mood

**kogayne:** i wanna marry my starboy

**lanceylance:** :) i’m gonna cry in an airport in front of hunk and it’s gonna be ur fault fuck u

**kogayne:** :) ur welcome :)))))

**kogayne:** ...wAIT A MINUTE U STARTED THIS CONVERSATION U BROUGHT THIS UPON URSELF

**lanceylance:** SHHH NOPE CAN’T PROVE THAT

**kogayne:** WHAT YES I CAN JUST SCROLL UP YOU INITIATED THE CONVERSATION

**lanceylance:** DON’T REMEMBER DIDN’T HAPPEN

**kogayne:** MCCLAIN

**lanceylance:** KOGANE

**kogayne:** ...so whenever we happen to get married who’s taking whose last name

**lanceylance:** i would like to take ur last name

**kogayne:** hmmm that’s a problem bc i want urs

**lanceylance:** but have u considered: we’re taking ur last name

**kogayne:** i did and i decided we’re taking /ur/ last name

**lanceylance:** okay fine we hyphenate

**kogayne:** urs goes first

**lanceylance:** no urs goes first

**kogayne:** but

**lanceylance:** the alphabet says k comes before m so we’re going to be mr.  & mr. kogane-mcclain

**kogayne:** ...fine i concede

**lanceylance:** was this a serious conversation

**kogayne:** do u want it to be

**lanceylance:** kinda yeah

**kogayne:** me too

**lanceylance:** so did we really just decide the last name situation over text message

**kogayne:** apparently

**lanceylance:** another step down and a few more to go

**kogayne:** can’t wait for the step that ends in “i do”

**lanceylance:** :’3

**kogayne:** nvm u broke out the furry emoticon gotta throw the whole thing away this entire relationship is cancelled

**lanceylance:** too late u signed up for this now face the consequences of ur actions 

**kogayne:** well fuck

**lanceylance:** yes yes i know how tragic

**kogayne:** yes, a true tragedy, i have to marry you and start a family with you and show my love and appreciation every day for the rest of my life

**lanceylance:** it’ll be the absolute worst. we’ll have to kiss and go on dates and go house hunting together and accidentally crash our carts when we go grocery shopping and survive college together and have to give our kids the best life

**kogayne:** oh no this is terrible

**lanceylance:** sarcasm aside this really is terrible bc now i really am crying and i had to lie and tell hunk that i was thinking about the ending of toy story 3

**kogayne:** SHUT UPPPP THAT WRECKED ME

**lanceylance:** I DON’T WANT TOY STORY 4 THEY CAN’T TOUCH THE PERFECTION THAT WAS THAT FINALE

**kogayne:** IS THAT STILL HAPPENING? I HAVEN’T HEARD NEWS ABOUT IT IN MONTHS

**lanceylance:** UHH

**lanceylance:** I MEAN YEAH?? IT’S GOT A RELEASE DATE BUT THERE’S BEEN A LOT GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES I GUESS?? 

**kogayne:** ...as much as i hate the idea of it, if it comes out, we’re fucking seeing it

**lanceylance:** OBVIOUSLY

**kogayne:** also back to serious questions any estimate on when u and hunk will be back

**lanceylance:** uhh?? idk man

**lanceylance:** preeeetty sure they’re on the plane rn but?? idk

**lanceylance:** these storms are throwing a wrench in everything, could end up here past midnight

**lanceylance:** i told em and v to just tell the pilot to gun the whole thing but apparently that’s not how that works, so idk

**kogayne:** do u want me to hang around ur house or go home then

**kogayne:** like?? i can like, go get food or something and set up a nice little appetizer buffet bc ur fam’s probably gonna be hungry

**kogayne:** and also they need to meet blue

**lanceylance:** my mom’s gonna love blue holy shit

**lanceylance:** also have i told u that ur a gem and i love u 

**kogayne:** like i said, always nice to hear

**kogayne:** but have u also considered: /i/ love /u/

**lanceylance:** aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** so yes? yes to food?

**lanceylance:** ye where are u getting it from

**kogayne:** here’s to hoping i can pull a you and sweet-talk some out of the restaurant where shiro used to work

**kogayne:** i’ll let u know how it goes

**lanceylance:** have fun!!

**kogayne:** you and hunk have fun too, try not to lose your minds

**lanceylance:** :’))) we’ll do our best

 

**_kroaway > kogayne_ **

**kroaway:** Is everything alright?

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** did shiro give u my number

**kroaway:** Yes.

**kogayne:** ...alright then

**kogayne:** yeah, everything’s fine, i’m just out doing stuff still

**kroaway:** Alright. Are you coming back at all, or is this another night out?

**kogayne:** ...probably another night out

**kogayne:** i’m safe, i promise

**kroaway:** I trust your judgment. Let me know if there’s a change in plans.

**kogayne:** alright, i will

**kogayne:** ...uh

**kogayne:** nice username, by the way

**kroaway:** And the same to you.

**kogayne:** thanks

**kogayne:** alright so uhh i’m gonna go

**kogayne:** bye

**kogayne:** uh, love you

**kroaway:** I love you too.

 

**_JULANCE_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** SO A BUNCH OF MCCLAINS CLIMB INTO THE YOUNGEST’S BEST FRIEND’S MINIVAN

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m pretty sure this is some kind of illegal

**hunkerdunker:** everyone back there is a legal adult and i am also a legal adult and lance is about to be a legal adult but he’s buckled up so therefore nOTHING MATTERS 

**hunkerdunker:** I’LL TEXT U FUCKERS LATER GOTTA DRIVE

**lanceylance:** he’s stressed bc we spent most of the day in the airport

**allurable:** hi hello lance i have a question!!

**lanceylance:** shoot

**allurable:** how does your family feel about attending a party tomorrow??

**lanceylance:** ...y’all i was joking when i was talking about a party,

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah and ur our fucking friend like hell u weren’t getting a party

**lanceylance:** i’m

**lanceylance:** wow

**lanceylance:** i mean

**lanceylance:** is this just immediate or extended?? bc i know my mom’s gonna end up throwing one sometime next week or next weekend for the extended fam

**allurable:** just immediate will work, unless the extended is down for also attending!! we’ve got plenty of food and a bounce house :)

**lanceylance:** THERE’S A WHAT

**mattata:** surpriiiiiiiiiiise

**allurable:** u said u wanted a bounce house

**allurable:** therefore, we rented a bounce house

**lanceylance:** I’M

**lanceylance:** OKAY EVERYONE WHO’S IN THE CAR, WHICH IS MAMA RONNIE MARCO LUIS AND ALEJANDRO, JUST SAID YES, MAMA SAID SHE’LL CALL MORE FAMILY WHEN WE GET HOME

**kogayne:** speaking of home

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** blue is anxiously awaiting ur return

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** and red’s decided he enjoys my shoulders

**lanceylance:** THIS IS SO FUCKIN SOFT

**kogayne:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**takashmeoutside:** okay well while we’re on the party note: CAN Y’ALL MAKE SURE U SLEEP TONIGHT SO U HAVE THE ENERGY TO PARTY TOMORROW

**lanceylance:** my fam should have no problem

**lanceylance:** me, on the other hand...hmm

**takashmeoutside:** keith if u keep him up all night i stg

**kogayne:** WHY ARE U LOOKING AT ME

**takashmeoutside:** [squints]

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**kogayne:** ALRIGHT BYE THIS IS CANCELLED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorrow...tomorROW
> 
> TOMORROW 
> 
> plot list tiiiiime  
> 1\. the woods  
> 2\. lotor and zarkon  
> 3\. the blades  
> 4\. lance's birthday [NEW REVEAL!] (it was slow-going at first but most of u ended up getting this)  
> 5\. ______ ________??? [(6) (8)???] (most of u have this [eyebrow wiggle])  
> 6\. mcclain family drama (this ain't done)  
> 7\. _____ ___ _______ [(5) (3) (7)] (previously 7; hinted at during the chapter ;))
> 
> SEE YA TOMORROW


	18. LANCE DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE INTERNATIONAL HOLIDAY: LANCE'S BIRTHDAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my internet search history looks a little ridiculous rn ngl
> 
> also, wow, 18th chapter is blue boy's 18th birthday :)
> 
> no trigger warnings here!! have fun!!!!

**_JULANCE_ **

**_kogayne_ ** _ renamed  _ **_JULANCE_ ** _ to  _ **_LANCE DAY_ **

**kogayne:** happy birthday to my person  <33

**carrierpidgeon:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BIGGEST MEMER IN THE GROUP CHAT ILY 

**hunkerdunker:** happy birthday lance!! so glad to be ur best friend all these years!!!! 

**shayfromstatefarm:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANCE!!

**allurable:** happy birthday, lance!!!

**takashmeoutside:** happy birthday lance!

**mattata:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BI MEME SON I’M VERY GLAD TO PASS MY LEGACY ON TO YOU I HOPE IT’S A GOOD DAY BRO

**lanceylance:** :’))))  <333333333 thanks guys 

**lanceylance:** i’m vvv excited about today

**takashmeoutside:** i know u are but if ur excited abt ur party why are u still up at midnight

**lanceylance:** i could ask u the same question

**lanceylance:** in my defense my entire family is here and i’m the only one who still lives here besides my mom

**mattata:** aren’t like, three of ur siblings still young enough to live w u

**lanceylance:** alejandro and marco decided to wing things and try and live on their own so they’ve got an apartment somewhere, and then v’s got an apartment with a bunch of her friends

**mattata:** wow they’re really going the...friends route

**kogayne:** that wasn’t even a good pun that’s literally what friends do now bc ~the economy’s a big ol’ shithooooole~

**mattata:** wouldn’t know, catch me still mooching off of mom and dad!

**allurable:** my father said i can move out whenever i feel like bc we’ve got too much room over here :P

**takashmeoutside:** i’m a real homeowner eat my ass

**mattata:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**takashmeoutside:** why did i say anything

**mattata:** bc there are clearly desires you are suppressing

**takashmeoutside:** nope

**takashmeoutside:** the only desire i am suppressing is sleep

**lanceylance:** and u just told all of us to go to sleep smh

**takashmeoutside:** you know what

**takashmeoutside:** lance is right good night everyone i am going to sleep

**takashmeoutside:** keith ur not coming home are u

**kogayne:** i’m already home what are u talking about

**takashmeoutside:** :O

**lanceylance:** >:D

**kogayne:** LISTEN YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND UNTIL MRS MCCLAIN HUGS YOU LIKE YOU’RE ONE OF HER OWN AND TELLS U SHE MISSED U

**hunkerdunker:** u know, he’s got a point

**kogayne:** SEE? HUNK UNDERSTANDS

**kogayne:** and anyway lance also may or may not be holding me hostage

**lanceylance:** it’s my birthday and i want him here :P

**shayfromstatefarm:** “hostage” would imply keith doesn’t wanna be there

**kogayne:** well then nvm he just doesn’t want me to leave and what am i gonna do? say no?

**takashmeoutside:** yes that would be how that works

**kogayne:** well sucks bc i love lance

**lanceylance:** :D

**takashmeoutside:** well alrighty then kids if u insist on being in the same place gO TO SLEEP

**allurable:** didn’t u already say u were going to go to sleep

**takashmeoutside:** shh

**allurable:** go to bed kashi

**lanceylance:** imma be up for a while alright i can handle this

**allurable:** party’s not till 1 in the afternoon anyway

**lanceylance:** PLENTY OF TIME

**mattata:** i mean that’s fair, you guys pulled off some pretty sleepless nights during high school

**carrierpidgeon:** “why is it past-tense like they’re out of high school,” i said to myself before reality punched me in the face

**shayfromstatefarm:** rip rip potato chip

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah anyway all of you are fakes for abandoning me when i need u most

**hunkerdunker:** i’m sure u can survive just fine without us

**lanceylance:** make a squad of ur own to spite us

**kogayne:** doesn’t she already have a squad of her own she can spite us with

**carrierpidgeon:** :O he’s right

**carrierpidgeon:** they’re both right

**lanceylance:** well obviously i’m right i’m always right

**takashmeoutside:** calculus

**lanceylance:** BOI IF U DON’T

**takashmeoutside:** this is what you kids get for not going to sleep when i told you to

**lanceylance:** you don’t have to be an aSS ABOUT IT IT IS MY /BIRTHDAY/ U HEATHEN

**takashmeoutside:** so am i an ass or a heathen make up ur mind

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** the answer to that question is a resounding yes

**allurable:** pffffffff

**mattata:** press f to pay respects

**hunkerdunker:** so is everyone just going to avoid pressing that letter

**carrierpidgeon:** grethreghnrytmt

**kogayne:** LMAO

**takashmeoutside:** today on “things i resent”: children slandering me when they should be SLEEPING

**kogayne:** YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING TOO

**kogayne:** smh i’m about to text mom and ask her to yell at you

**kogayne:** betcha she carries a knife too

**allurable:** keith /and/ his mother both carrying knives...now there’s a thought

**lanceylance:** wouldn’t be surprising tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean, his mom was a spy

**shayfromstatefarm:** you’d think it would be second-nature for her to carry a weapon of some kind, and something like a knife is small and easily concealable

**lanceylance:** we should all carry knives 

**takashmeoutside:** oh god

**lanceylance:** the blade brigade

**takashmeoutside:** or have u considered: we /don’t/ do that

**kogayne:** protection and self-defense

**kogayne:** i am all for the blade brigade

**carrierpidgeon:** kni(ve)ghts 

**carrierpidgeon:** knights with knives

**lanceylance:** i already have a knight with a knife :)  <3

**takashmeoutside:** ...yeah okay this is where i log out for real see you hooligans tomorrow

**kogayne:** he’s just scared that i’m gonna sic my mom on him

**mattata:** ...i feel like he’s just staring at his phone right now, itching to respond and defend himself but also not willing to take that risk

**kogayne:** keith 1, takashit 0

**allurable:** takashit

**mattata:** sendick’s and apparently keith’s favorite name for dear old shito

**carrierpidgeon:** right now i’m picturing shiro internally screaming

**allurable:** kashi just know we do this with love

**lanceylance:** i’m not doing this with love i’m doing this for the calculus comment ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** valid

**mattata:** ^^ 

**hunkerdunker:** yep

**hunkerdunker:** anyhoo this is where i log out for the night, i’m gonna wipe out if i try to keep my eyes open for any longer

**hunkerdunker:** see y’all tomorrow

**mattata:** i think imma follow in his footsteps

**allurable:** i’ll probably be up for a little bit but gn u two!!

**carrierpidgeon:** sleep is for the weak i’ll be on steam all night

**kogayne:** i’m gonna go force lance to go to bed so he’s well-rested, see you guys tomorrow

**kogayne:** today

**kogayne:** same diff

**lanceylance:** night y’all!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** see u guys in the afternoon!!

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_emandem_ ** _ ,  _ **_aglassofsherrie_ ** _ ,  _ **_summertime_ ** _ ,  _ **_arsenicandoldlacey_ ** _ , and  _ **_rollinnolan_ ** _ to  _ **_squad up_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** sup fuckers

**emandem:** why are u awake

**carrierpidgeon:** why are /u/ awake

**rollinnolan:** why are any of us awake at fuckin 3 AM

**summertime:** good question

**aglassofsherrie:** lacey’s sleeping rn actually

**summertime:** oh no

**rollinnolan:** what

**summertime:** nolan

**rollinnolan:** wHAT

**summertime:** THEY TRAPPED US HERE WITH /TWO/ COUPLES

**rollinnolan:** we were trapped with two couples during the school year nothing’s really changed

**carrierpidgeon:** sucks to suck

**rollinnolan:** well actually,

**carrierpidgeon:** ohhh my god shut up

**carrierpidgeon:** i already had my brother making dirty jokes in my other gc

**emandem:** matthew holt, the man, the myth, the memer

**carrierpidgeon:** the person i regret ever introducing to emily

**aglassofsherrie:** rip

**summertime:** pidge why does this group chat exist and why did u make it at 3 AM

**carrierpidgeon:** bc we deserve our own group chat if we’re going to spend the next two years taking over the school

**carrierpidgeon:** gonna rip it right out of the seniors’ dirty hands

**summertime:** NO. NO SCHOOL. IT’S STILL SUMMER.

**rollinnolan:** well i would hope that’s summer texting

**emandem:** and on today’s edition of buzzfeed unsolved: is that truly summer texting us?

**summertime:** go to bed u demons

**emandem:** DEMONS

**aglassofsherrie:** one day one of u is gonna summon a demon and i’m not helping u get rid of it

**rollinnolan:** DUDES LET’S SUMMON DEMONS

**aglassofsherrie:** nope i don’t fuck with demons leave me out

**summertime:** ur all already demons so i apparently fuck with them

**carrierpidgeon:** hey there demons, it’s me, ya girl

**summertime:** bls,,, bls go to bed

**carrierpidgeon:** no

**carrierpidgeon:** anyone logged into steam right now

**carrierpidgeon:** or does anyone wanna have a mario kart tournament or something

**rollinnolan:** i’m in

**emandem:** count me in

**summertime:** i’m going to bed

**aglassofsherrie:** i am also going to bed

**carrierpidgeon:** LOSERS

**carrierpidgeon:** EM NOLAN YOU’RE ON

 

**_LANCE DAY_ **

**allurable:** hello everyone!! i know the party starts in an hour but the house is open if anyone feels as though they want to arrive early!!!

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll leave in 10 then

**mattata:** pidge is asleep still and i’m debating leaving her here or waking her up and waiting for her to rush around and get ready

**lanceylance:** why’s she still sleeping

**mattata:** judging by the fact that when i woke up her computer she was on steam, i’m gonna have to guess she was on steam last night

**lanceylance:** smh

**hunkerdunker:** y’all i woke up extra early today i am so ready allura i’m coming over in 5

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’ll be over in like 20 probably

**kogayne:** lance and i are coming as soon as mrs mcclain lets us leave

**lanceylance:** my mother loves me and she’s very intent on showering me with love on this national holiday

**mattata:** u mean the day the emoji movie came out? i feel that

**kogayne:** lance made me go see it with him last year

**lanceylance:** purely ironically

**kogayne:** suuuuuuuuuuuure

**allurable:** somehow i doubt it was “purely” ironic

**lanceylance:** ;D

**takashmeoutside:** ...is there something i need to know

**kogayne:** no

**allurable:** yknow the more u ask that question the less inclined they’ll be to tell u things in the future right

**takashmeoutside:** i am just trying to be a responsible parent

**kogayne:** welp how’s that working out for you

**takashmeoutside:** not as well as i’d hoped apparently

**mattata:** heh,, ap-parent-ly

**takashmeoutside:** mATT

**mattata:** huehuehuehuehuehue

**carrierpidgeon:** memetthew strikes again

**takashmeoutside:** SHE’S AWAKE

**carrierpidgeon:** i was pretending to be asleep when matt came in shhh

**mattata:** that’s a lie and you know it

**carrierpidgeon:** actually no it is not 

**carrierpidgeon:** i woke up and got ready and then heard u coming down the hall before i could wake my computer up so i pretended to crash on top of it

**mattata:** [squints]

**lanceylance:** i believe her

**carrierpidgeon:** so ANYWAY that means we’ll be over soon!!

**lanceylance:** my mother would like to inform everyone that the rest of the family will be arriving at the intended party time

**allurable:** alrighty then! im gonna go finish prepping see u guys soon!!!

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** so uhhh i’m gonna back to allura’s later than intended

**mamamcclain:** oh?

**lanceylance:** keith’s up to something, we’re gonna be running around town for a little bit

**mamamcclain:** well, you’re 18, you’re actually an adult now, so i suppose i trust your judgment

**lanceylance:** trhjtymjyumrdfgsdvd you SUPPOSE

**mamamcclain:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** WHO TAUGHT YOU THE SHRUG EMOTICON

**mamamcclain:** veronica

**lanceylance:** RONNIE

**mamamcclain:** but in all actuality, have fun, mijo

**mamamcclain:** you and keith be careful, don’t do anything too dangerous

**lanceylance:** “too dangerous” you say, as if we’ll get into any danger at all

**lanceylance:** but anyway we’ll be careful i promise

**mamamcclain:** good

**mamamcclain:** make sure you’re back in time for the bonfire, i heard coran makes good s’mores

**lanceylance:** yeah yeah we’ll be sure

**lanceylance:** hopefully

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ we’ll see i guess

**lanceylance:** te quierooooo

**mamamcclain:** te quiero

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**allurable:** you all notice it too right

**takashmeoutside:** oh boy cryptic messages, what are we noticing

**allurable:** look carefully at lance and keith

**carrierpidgeon:** you mean aside from the fact that they’ve been even mushier and even more gross since they got back from wherever

**takashmeoutside:** i mean according to keith’s plan yesterday, they were at the beach

**allurable:** okay this has nothing to do with where they went

**allurable:** well no actually it probably does

**allurable:** no look closely

**hunkerdunker:** ...i’m not catching on

**allurable:** ohhh my gOOO

**allurable:** DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY IT OUT LOUD

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean just in the gc is fine, i’m pretty sure if keith and lance haven’t said anything about something you’re suddenly noticing then they’re trying to keep it on the dl

**allurable:** ...you know what, valid, maybe i’ll just let the rest of you flounder

**mattata:** wh

**mattata:** allura are u talking about the promise rings

**allurable:** YES /THANK YOU/ SOMEONE ELSE FINALLY CAUGHT ON

**hunkerdunker:** waaaait wait wait wait wait wait wAIT

**hunkerdunker:** WEREN’T THEY ON THEIR MIDDLE FINGERS BEFORE

**allurable:** YES OR ON NECKLACES

**hunkerdunker:** ...but now they’re on their ring fingers…

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...YOU GUYS DON’T THINK

**takashmeoutside:** DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN KEITH TEXTS ME ABOUT WANTING TO MARRY LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** AND MRS. MCCLAIN SAID LANCE SORT OF LIKE, IMPLIED HE AND KEITH WOULD NOT HESITATE TO GET ENGAGED OR MARRIED AS SOON AS HE TURNED 18

**allurable:** okay listen i don’t think they had the time to go run to town hall, fill out all that paperwork, /and/ have the ceremony that makes it official

**carrierpidgeon:** so are we saying keith proposed while they were gone but they just used their promise rings bc they’re about to be broke college students

**hunkerdunker:** yes? i think? is that where we’re going with this

**takashmeoutside:** there’s no fucking way

**mattata:** APPARENTLY THERE’S A FUCKING WAY

**takashmeoutside:** HOLD UP

 

**_takashmeoutside > mamamcclain_ **

**takashmeoutside:** hi sofia, it’s shiro

**takashmeoutside:** i’m texting to be discreet

**mamamcclain:** apparently

**takashmeoutside:** 1) okay, wow, did not have you pinned for immediate sarcasm

**mamamcclain:** ;D

**takashmeoutside:** secondly, can you just do me a favor and look at lance and keith’s hands and tell me what conclusion you draw

**mamamcclain:** …

**mamamcclain:** did they switch the rings to a different finger?

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**mamamcclain:** are you implying you believe they ran off and got engaged while no one was looking

**takashmeoutside:** is that the conclusion you’re drawing because that’s the one we all drew

**mamamcclain:** yes

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god they ran off and got engaged

**takashmeoutside:** they’re not even in college

**mamamcclain:** no, maybe not, but they’re wholly devoted to each other

**mamamcclain:** trust me, shiro, i’ve had long talks with the both of them on more than one occasion

**mamamcclain:** those two are a match made by some cosmic force, and i’ve rarely ever seen anything else like it

**mamamcclain:** it’s like someone out in the universe wanted those two to come together

**mamamcclain:** i think they’ll be just fine

**mamamcclain:** after all, look at your relationship

**takashmeoutside:** ...well, when you put it like that

**mamamcclain:** have faith in them

**mamamcclain:** would you feel better talking to them?

**takashmeoutside:** ...yes

 

**_IMPORTANT FAM BUSINESS_ **

**mamamcclain:** keith, lance, could you two maybe step into one of the dens with shiro and i for a few minutes? we’d like to talk to you

**lanceylance:** uh

**kogayne:** um

**takashmeoutside:** ur not slick

**kogayne:** lance u cool if we just

**lanceylance:** i mean they already put two and two together

**kogayne:** okay listen we’ve got a plan we decided we’re not gonna run to town hall while ur backs are turned

**lanceylance:** even tho we really really want to just get it done 

**takashmeoutside:** ur not even in college yet

**kogayne:** hush that’s part of the plan

**takashmeoutside:** are u sure we can’t just go into the kitchen and talk about this

**kogayne:** the bonfire is warm and so is lance

**lanceylance:** and then everyone else will know something’s up if they see us all get up and leave

**takashmeoutside:** the whole group chat already knows

**lanceylance:** ...well

**kogayne:** original point still stands: i’m very comfy where i am

**lanceylance:** ^^

**kogayne:** can i lay out the situation now

**mamamcclain:** go ahead sweetie

**kogayne:** okay, so despite the fact that we were actually originally planning to run to town hall while no one was looking and just get things done, we decided on an extended engagement

**lanceylance:** which, yes, we are, in fact, engaged :)

**kogayne:** :)

**kogayne:** before u go into “omg ur too young” and “omg u haven’t lived” and “omg what if there are other people” and “omg ur education”

**kogayne:** 1) lance and i already know that we’re committed for life

**lanceylance:** 2) our engagement is extended so that we can focus on our education, and this is mostly just a stronger promise than the promise rings originally were

**kogayne:** and we’re not immediately tying the knot bc if for some awful reason something happens and we /do/ discover, wow, we’re actually not meant for each other, it’s not like we’ve gotta go thru divorce

**takashmeoutside:** ...and you’re certain here

**takashmeoutside:** you’ve considered factors like future careers, children, living situations

**kogayne:** well at the current rate of the economy we’re banking on scrounging for minimum wage jobs at coffee chains,

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**mamamcclain:** keith

**kogayne:** okay yes we’ve considered it

**lanceylance:** we know there are gonna be challenges coming bc we’re not ~adults~ yet and we don’t have ~real world knowledge~ yet

**kogayne:** apparently

**lanceylance:** but we’re committed to seeing this thru together

**mamamcclain:** :)

**lanceylance:** it’s like?? you know how people are like, “oh, the ONE is out there”

**lanceylance:** a lot of people tend to meet the one in their twenties and thirties i guess

**lanceylance:** i just happened to meet my one early on and grow up with him :)

**kogayne:** <333

**mamamcclain:** i’d still like an in-person conversation before the night is over, but i have faith in the two of you. i’m very happy for you two.

**takashmeoutside:** i am, too. a little worried, but i’m happy.

**kogayne:** ...oh my god does /my/ mom know

**takashmeoutside:** ...SHOULD WE HAVE ADDED HER TO THE GROUP CHAT

**lanceylance:** FTYFJUYKMGHJMFYMN 

**kogayne:** SHE’S HAD ONE CONVERSATION WITH LANCE

**mamamcclain:** maybe we ought to have that face-to-face conversation?

**kogayne:** oh god

**kogayne:** yeah probably

**lanceylance:** OH BOY

**takashmeoutside:** keith, go get ur mom, then let’s all move into a den

 

**_keep away from the prying eyes of klance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** THEY GOT FUCKING ENGAGED

**allurable:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**carrierpidgeon:** HOLY SHIT

**mattata:** I CAN’T BELIEVE

**takashmeoutside:** my little brother got engaged before me...holy shit

**mattata:** so when’s the wedding

**takashmeoutside:** if they stick to their promise, not for another four years, at least

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait they really got engaged like i’m not being punk’d

**takashmeoutside:** you saw the rings and you saw how happy they were when they came back, they’re apparently doing this for real

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re eIGHTEEN

**hunkerdunker:** apparently that’s not stopping them

**takashmeoutside:** apparently they have many plans laid out for their future and they’re in it for the long haul

**takashmeoutside:** they’re putting off the wedding so they can get their education and test if it will really work out but? they’re pretty much strengthening whatever promise they made when keith got the rings back in october

**allurable:** i’m telling u right now they’re gonna be the couple everyone doubts but they’re gonna show up to their hs or college reunion in 20 years more in love than ever 

**carrierpidgeon:** or they’ve gotten rotten support from everyone and they go down in flames in a horrific end that no one sees coming

**takashmeoutside:** okay no,

**takashmeoutside:** i’m listening in on lance and keith talking to mrs mcclain while we wait for keith’s mom to get in here and

**carrierpidgeon:** WAIT HIS MOM DOESN’T KNOW

**takashmeoutside:** IF SHE REALIZED UP TO NOW SHE’S KEPT QUIET

**takashmeoutside:** but anyway they’re talking and?? they’ve spent

**takashmeoutside:** many nights

**takashmeoutside:** in the last year

**takashmeoutside:** reading articles on the pros and cons of marrying young and how long is too long or too short to wait and??

**allurable:** that’s dedication

**mattata:** and we’re sure this isn’t one of those “it looks nice until u actually have it and then it loses its appeal” things

**takashmeoutside:** i hope not

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t think it will be

**takashmeoutside:** mrs mcclain’s got a lot of faith in them and i’m inclined to believe her

**allurable:** that’s true, that woman is a gift to this earth

**hunkerdunker:** listen if mrs mcclain is blessing it then i believe it

**hunkerdunker:** that woman? a GEM

**hunkerdunker:** ABSOLUTE ANGEL

**hunkerdunker:** WISE AS HELL

**hunkerdunker:** if she believes it i believe it

**carrierpidgeon:** my question is, do lance and keith know that we know

**takashmeoutside:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** ...and how did they find out

**takashmeoutside:** uh

**takashmeoutside:** i may have mentioned it

**carrierpidgeon:** SHIRO

**carrierpidgeon:** I WAS GONNA MAKE IT A GAME OF HOW LONG WE COULD TIPTOE AROUND THIS

**takashmeoutside:** what a tragedy

**carrierpidgeon:** SNITCHES GET STITCHES

**takashmeoutside:** PEOPLE GIVING SNITCHES STITCHES ARE LITTLE BITCHES

**mattata:** .../what/

**allurable:** did takashi shirogane really just type out that sentence

**takashmeoutside:** yes he did

**mattata:** u can tell he’s frazzled bc he’s speaking in 3rd person

**takashmeoutside:** i’ve gotta go krolia’s here and we have to break the news to her that her son is engaged

**takashmeoutside:** i still can’t fucking believe,,

 

**_LANCE DAY_ **

**lanceylance:** so i guess u fuckers already put it together but keith gave me the best birthday present today!!! 

**allurable:** did u really reuse the promise rings

**kogayne:** mayhaps

**lanceylance:** college tuition is about to murk us and these rings are cute what more do we need

**kogayne:** :P

**lanceylance:** anyway i’ll just make it official bc wow: KEITH’S MY FIANCE NOW

**lanceylance:** wow that made my insides feel all warm :D

**hunkerdunker:** sorry i’m still in shock

**shayfromstatefarm:** CONGRATS GUYS

**carrierpidgeon:** i thought lance got the proposal

**kogayne:** beat him to the punch ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** and he was cute about it so u know what??? doESN’T MATTER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

**hunkerdunker:** i’m really happy for u two holy shit

**hunkerdunker:** i know shiro’s internally screaming still probably, how did ur moms take it

**lanceylance:** my mom’s happy

**kogayne:** we got my mom’s blessing

**lanceylance:** i heard her and my mom talking abt the universe or something after that but that’s when keith and i dipped out for smores

**mattata:** and ur sure this is gonna work

**kogayne:** why does everyone keep asking that like we haven’t been thinking about this for 500 years

**lanceylance:** we’ve got a long-term plan, don’t worry about a thing

**lanceylance:** i’m just

**lanceylance:** wow :)  <3333 my heart’s full

**lanceylance:** :DDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> i was originally gonna have them planning to run off and get married when no one's looking in like,,, the monday chapter, but nahhhhh, they're gonna have a long-ass engagement instead. but anyway, are they unrealistic? on average yes, but y'know...high school sweethearts exist, IF CORY AND TOPANGA CAN DO IT SO CAN THEY
> 
> also pidge's group chat!! those are her friends and i made every single one of them up so time to introduce them!!  
> -carrierpidgeon: y'all know this is pidge  
> -emandem: and her gf!!! wooo!!! emily!!!!  
> -aglassofsherrie: sherrie!! pidge's ex-crush!!!! but they're still good friends!!!!!  
> -summertime: their friend summer!!  
> -arsenicandoldlacey: lacey!!!! aka sherrie's gf!!!!  
> -rollinnolan: the only dude in their group
> 
> none of them are straight :P
> 
> AND NOW: PLOT LIST TIME  
> 1\. the woods  
> 2\. lotor and zarkon  
> 3\. the blades  
> 4\. lance's birthday  
> 5\. klance marriage??? [NEW REVEAL!] (and now u know what the resolution to this is ;P)  
> 6\. mcclain family drama (this still isn't over)  
> 7\. _____ ___ _______ [(5) (3) (7)] (coming early august...some of u are on the right track...we're slowly building up to this...;))
> 
> ANYWAY HAPPY LANCE DAY, IT'S NOT LANCE DAY ON THE EAST COAST OR IN CENTRAL TIME ANYMORE BUT THAT'S OKAY, IT'S STILL LANCE DAY SOMEWHERE
> 
> see ya in the next one (probably monday)!!


	19. sass squad vs slander squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ur usual group chat shenanigans, ft. actual plot developments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so sorry i haven't had a new chapter since the weekend
> 
> i was gonna write one on monday but if ur in the discord then u know Stuff happened that had to be taken care of and then yesterday a headache had me incapacitated all day so here's ur new chapter, tis the wednesday chapter
> 
> **trigger warnings for implied references to homophobia and assault from squad up (remember that plot development i mentioned in the summary?)**

**_LANCE DAY_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_LANCE DAY_ ** _ to  _ **_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** why are u awake this early

**lanceylance:** why are /u/ awake this early

**hunkerdunker:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ went to bed early

**hunkerdunker:** now answer the question

**lanceylance:** wow what a coinky-dink i too went to bed early

**lanceylance:** headache tried to murk me yesterday lmao

**hunkerdunker:** pls never say coinky-dink ever again i hate how that word sounds

**lanceylance:** coinky-dink

**lanceylance:** coinky-dink

**lanceylance:** coinky-dink

**hunkerdunker:** if it weren’t for the rules and the looming threat of keith’s wrath i’d have u removed from the gc

**lanceylance:** !!!!!

**lanceylance:** SPEAKING OF MY PRECIOUS FIANCÉ

_ (4) photos from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** look how cute he is when he’s sleeping :) wow that’s all mine

**hunkerdunker:** sorry i just got whiplash from reading the word “fiancé” like that’s a thing that actually happened

**hunkerdunker:** i still can’t believe u two are actually engaged

**lanceylance:** :))) me neither

**lanceylance:** :DDDDDD

**hunkerdunker:** you’re internally screaming and smiling at keith rn aren’t u

**lanceylance:** stop exposing me shut ur fuck

**hunkerdunker:** mmm nah

**hunkerdunker:** you’re subjecting me to mushiness for keith first thing in the morning exposure is well-deserved

**lanceylance:** >:(((( binch

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh good three of the four members of the arus squad are awake

**hunkerdunker:** shay!!! pls save me from them

**lanceylance:** “them” u say it like keith isn’t wiped out and cuddling me in his sleep

**lanceylance:** anyway!! shay!!! what’s up

**shayfromstatefarm:** have y’all been checking ur school emails

**lanceylance:** uh

**hunkerdunker:** oh shit that’s a thing we’re supposed to be continually doing

**shayfromstatefarm:** so i take that as a no, not surprising

**shayfromstatefarm:** ANYWAY housing assignments are online!! 

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK

**lanceylance:** HUNK DID U EVER FIND A ROOMMATE

**hunkerdunker:** nO I JUST DID THE PERSONALITY MATCHING THING SO I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHO MY ROOMMATE IS

**lanceylance:** [mmm whatcha say plays softly in the distance]

**hunkerdunker:** i’m going to disown u

**lanceylance:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** cmon can y’all pls check i wanna know where u guys are staying

**lanceylance:** should i wake keith up

**hunkerdunker:** u guys are in the same room aren’t u??? i don’t think u need to wake him up

**shayfromstatefarm:** LANCE HUNK WOULD U PLS JUST CHECK

**lanceylance:** ur pushy this morning did u sleep last night

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes and i would ask if u two did but u already addressed that

**hunkerdunker:** shay sleeps at normal hours when she’s having a good day

**lanceylance:** lmao can’t relate

**shayfromstatefarm:** have u guys logged in yet

**hunkerdunker:** sorry sorry i’m going

**lanceylance:** it’s loading so while it’s loading shay where are u

**shayfromstatefarm:** one of the towers buildings

**lanceylance:** LMAO THOSE ARE LIKE SOME OF THE FURTHEST RESIDENCE HALLS FROM UR CLASSES

**shayfromstatefarm:** :’) i know

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m going to have to make a home in the student center i guess

**hunkerdunker:** well alright lance then where are u and keith staying

**lanceylance:** ...northwest quad

**lanceylance:** lemme just map this out real

**lanceylance:** fUCK THAT’S LIKE JUST TWO MINUTES CLOSER THAN TOWERS

**shayfromstatefarm:** so i suppose you and keith will be joining me in the student center then

**lanceylance:** gonna camp out outside dunkin donuts every single day of the week i guess

**lanceylance:** hunk where u at

**hunkerdunker:** :O that new residence tower

**lanceylance:** ...FUCK YOU YOU’RE LIKE THE CLOSEST OUT OF ALL OF US

**hunkerdunker:** it’s still a solid ten minute walk

**shayfromstatefarm:** so what i’m hearing is all of us are going to stake out a spot in the student center

**hunkerdunker:** apparently

**mattata:** GOOD MORNING I HEARD NORTHWEST QUAD

**mattata:** THOSE DORMS ARE SOME OF THE NICER ONES BUT THEY’RE ALSO SMALLER

**lanceylance:** oh no...being trapped in close quarters with keith…guess we’ll just have to cuddle all the time…

**mattata:** how did i know u were going to come to that conclusion

**lanceylance:** :) because i love keith kogane more than i love myself

**mattata:** somewhere in his sleep keith just sensed u being self-deprecating and got a surge of protectiveness for u

**lanceylance:** that would probably explain why he just snuggled closer

**mattata:** wh

**mattata:** i was bEING SARCASTIC

**lanceylance:** yeah well his lance senses were tingling i guess

**lanceylance:** he’s soft

**allurable:** what’s going on in the gc i see a lot happening

**lanceylance:** i love keith

**allurable:** what’s going on that isn’t klance

**lanceylance:** :O

**allurable:** sorry but i’m with hunk i’m still not over saturday

**hunkerdunker:** see? she gets it

**allurable:** (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** residence hall assignments got posted

**shayfromstatefarm:** hunk lucked out but not by a ton

**lanceylance:** hunk who’s ur roommate

**hunkerdunker:** ...some kid named james?

**lanceylance:** hmmmm

**lanceylance:** u gonna do any research on him beforehand

**hunkerdunker:** okay no i’m not a stalker

**hunkerdunker:** but i /am/ gonna email him so i can get his socials

**lanceylance:** i mean, sure, that’s basically what i meant anyway, but yeah go ahead and twIST THINGS AROUND I GUESS

**allurable:** someone’s salty when they’re up early

**lanceylance:** i am made of salt

**lanceylance:** salt since july 2000

**allurable:** i’m so used to seeing birthdays in the late 80s and the 90s sorry i was not prepared for a 2000 wow that just

**allurable:** holy shit

**mattata:** MOOD that threw me for a loop

**takashmeoutside:** same

**hunkerdunker:** wow parent squad gettin real sassy about their superior birth years

**hunkerdunker:** shiro out here acting like he’s not six

**lanceylance:** rgetbrhthnryhtdbht

**shayfromstatefarm:** #ShiroIsSix

**allurable:** smh we need keith and pidge awake so they can take sides and we can settle this conflict once and for all

**lanceylance:** i was gonna say something about us obviously winning in that scenario before i remembered keith is a 99 baby

**lanceylance:** so i’ve decided he is staying asleep for now

**hunkerdunker:** y’all realize if they both logged in we just come to a draw again right

**shayfromstatefarm:** unless keith decides to take our side

**lanceylance:** no he’s going to rub his older-ness in our faces

**lanceylance:** just like he took pride in being able to drive first

**mattata:** hmm wonder where he got those traits from kASHI

**takashmeoutside:** [whistling]

**lanceylance:** ur telling me takashi shirogane was a sassy shit in high school

**mattata:** i mean,

**shayfromstatefarm:** “that’s shirogane’s cousin alright”

**lanceylance:** fair point

**lanceylance:** so we agree we’re blaming shiro for keith being like this

**carrierpidgeon:** good morning what are we blaming shiro for

**lanceylance:** keith being a little shit

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean ur also a little shit

**lanceylance:** [gasp] how dare

**carrierpidgeon:** listen

**carrierpidgeon:** do u know how often i had to put up with keith complaining abt u bc our brothers wouldn’t let us not be friends

**carrierpidgeon:** do u know how long i wanted to throttle u for

**lanceylance:** yes bc u explicitly told me several times over the years “yknow lance sometimes i just wanna throttle u” but u would never explain why

**carrierpidgeon:** well

**carrierpidgeon:** keith is why

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t help that i’m just so good at raising kids

**mattata:** mood

**hunkerdunker:** u guys are /really/ claiming responsibility for the cryptkids??

**hunkerdunker:** in this day and age?

**carrierpidgeon:** excuse me i am perfectly fine

**lanceylance:** you’re a gremlin

**shayfromstatefarm:** ^

**carrierpidgeon:** the betrayal hurts the most from you, shay

**shayfromstatefarm:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**carrierpidgeon:** fake friends!! if keith was awake he would not stand for this slander

**lanceylance:** binch that’s my line

**carrierpidgeon:** so then it looks like there are 2 gremlins in this group chat

**allurable:** why do u have to drag matt like that

**mattata:** :O

**lanceylance:** PFFFFF

**mattata:** WHAT DID I DO TO YOU

**allurable:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**mattata:** that’s it i’m teaming up with pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** about fuckin time it only took u till ur name was also being dragged thru the mud

**lanceylance:** if matt and pidge are teaming up is it all of us vs them

**takashmeoutside:** i suppose this means i have to team up with keith

**lanceylance:** no no i’ve already teamed up with keith

**takashmeoutside:** :|

**lanceylance:** >:P

**allurable:** why are we suddenly choosing teams

**hunkerdunker:** matt started it

**allurable:** /matt/

**mattata:** boi

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**kogayne:** okay one this group chat name is a rude reminder

**kogayne:** two what the fuck did i miss while i was sleeping

**allurable:** shenanigans

**shayfromstatefarm:** housing assignments

**kogayne:** lance already filled me in on the housing situation

**lanceylance:** “situation” as if he isn’t ecstatic to have to cuddle with me to make the most of our space

**kogayne:** ...mmhmmmmm…

**lanceylance:** BOI

**carrierpidgeon:** and today on “everyone’s significant other is being a sassy shit”

**hunkerdunker:** except for shay and me :)

**shayfromstatefarm:** there’s still time don’t get too comfy

**hunkerdunker:** ...honestly what the fUCK MAN

**lanceylance:** alright pidge so does that mean emily’s being sassy to you

**carrierpidgeon:** i dunno i haven’t texted her today, she’s probably still asleep

**kogayne:** i should’ve stayed asleep smh

**takashmeoutside:** it’s 11 in the morning idk why u slept this long

**kogayne:** listen i could make it really gay in here just be grateful i got up

**allurable:** I MEAN WE’RE ALL SOME DEGREE OF GAY ALREADY

**lanceylance:** BE SOFT BE SOFT BE SOFT BE SOFT BE SOFT

**kogayne:** hmm no

**lanceylance:** KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH

**hunkerdunker:** and the sass continues

**carrierpidgeon:** but who’s in the slander squad and who’s in the sass squad

**lanceylance:** hunk and i are definitely in the slander squad and keith and shay are in the sass squad

**allurable:** sass squad!

**mattata:** slander squad -_-

**takashmeoutside:** i think i’m stuck in the slander squad too

**carrierpidgeon:** ...hmm so either i sass my girlfriend and join the sass squad or i tip the balance by a) joining the slander squad or b) not doing anything

**allurable:** why would u sass ur innocent girlfriend

**mattata:** I DUNNO ALLURA WHY DID U SASS UR INNOCENT BOYFRIEND

**carrierpidgeon:** “innocent”

**lanceylance:** “innocent”

**takashmeoutside:** “innocent”

**carrierpidgeon:** BAHAHAHAHAHA

**carrierpidgeon:** DRIFT

**lanceylance:** DRIFT

**takashmeoutside:** DRIFT

**mattata:** u are all awful people

**kogayne:** smh ikr

**lanceylance:** kEITH SHUT

**kogayne:** ;)

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna lock u out in the rain when ur not looking just so ur mullet gets soaked

**kogayne:** but my car’s right out there i can just take it and go home—

**lanceylance:** not if i have ur keys

**kogayne:** u act like that’s gonna stop me

**takashmeoutside:** did u just imply u would carjack urself

**hunkerdunker:** i think he just implied he also knows how to carjack

**kogayne:** shhh survival skills

**takashmeoutside:** i don’t even wanna ask what kind of scenario this would be applicable in

**lanceylance:** U CAN’T START UR CAR WITHOUT THE KEYS

**kogayne:** shh yes i can

**carrierpidgeon:** part of me wants to watch keith prove this skillset to us

**kogayne:** that requires harm to my car and i’m not about that life

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so what’s the real reason u were up so late and lance was up early

**kogayne:** did u bother reading the group chat at ALL

**takashmeoutside:** the headache story is real?

**kogayne:** wtf why would he lie abt that yES THE HEADACHE STORY IS REAL??

**kogayne:** he was like, grumpy and miserable, so obviously we cuddled and then he wiped out

**takashmeoutside:** and how come you didn’t wipe out with him

**kogayne:** bc it was early so i went downstairs and talked to his mom for a while

**kogayne:** and then i was bored so i was on the weird part of youtube again

**takashmeoutside:** PLEASE stop going on the weird part of youtube

**kogayne:** no fuck you

**takashmeoutside:** WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING THERE

**kogayne:** BECAUSE IT’S INTERESTING

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME

**kogayne:** anyway by the time i looked at the clock it was like 2 AM and lance was making noises in his sleep so i was like “oh i should probably go back to cuddling with him now”

**kogayne:** and that’s about when i fell asleep

**takashmeoutside:** u could’ve just said “i finally went to bed at 2” i don’t need these details

**kogayne:** LISTEN I HAVEN’T GUSHED ABOUT HIM IN A WHILE LET ME GUSH DAMMIT

**takashmeoutside:** NO

**kogayne:** TOO LATE

**takashmeoutside:** I’LL BLOCK UR NUMBER

**kogayne:** NO

**takashmeoutside:** TOO LATE

**kogayne:** BITCH IT SAYS DELIVERED U FUCKING LIAR

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**kogayne:** I KNOW UR READING THESE

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

**regressionequation:** krolia it’s been days since we last heard from you what’s been going on

**regressionequation:** have u been arrested for murder yet

**thaceofspades:** Well this is a way to kick off my afternoon.

**kroaway:** No. Obviously I wouldn’t be arrested. Have more faith in me than that.

**thaceofspades:** ...DID YOU KILL SOMEONE?

**kroaway:** No. Still more research. Dealing with the fact that my son went and proposed to his boyfriend over the weekend after I had (1) conversation with the boy.

**ulaztcall:** COUGH UP THE CASH.

**thaceofspades:** FUCK.

**kroaway:** ...What the hell? Were you /betting/ on my son’s relationship?

**thaceofspades:** Listen, a bunch of us lost out on a bet involving his cousin. Let us have this.

**kroaway:** Do I even wanna know?

**ticktockantok:** Probably not.

**koliwhitevans:** Settle, hooligans.

**koliwhitevans:** Krolia, what’s with the research?

**kroaway:** Still looking into the Zarkon issue, looking into getting into contact with his son. I’m also making breakthroughs on the suspects they’re searching for from Keith’s incident in the woods.

**thaceofspades:** How the hell are you making breakthroughs?

**kroaway:** Did you really just ask that question?

**regressionequation:** today on “krolia was a spy u forgetful morons”

**kroaway:** Also, I’ve got news on Morvok: his son’s admission was revoked from Arus University. :)

**thaceofspades:** I know I’m a teacher so I’m supposed to be nice about my former students, but THANK GOD.

**ulaztcall:** Does Keith know yet?

**kroaway:** No. I’m telling him later today. He hasn’t been home all day.

**kroaway:** ...Oh, this is interesting. I’ve tracked one of the suspects’ workplaces.

**thaceofspades:** Please don’t do anything illegal.

**kroaway:** I won’t.

**regressionequation:** wait for it…

**kroaway:** Yet.

**regressionequation:** THERE IT IS

**thaceofspades:** Why on /Earth/ are you encouraging her?

**regressionequation:** [sips tea] why not

**ticktockantok:** As long as I don’t end up arrested for knowing Krolia.

**kroaway:** Yet again, you underestimate my abilities to cover my tracks.

**ulaztcall:** It took Krolia just a couple weeks researching to track the suspects down, but the police department couldn’t handle it for months?

**kroaway:** I’m aware. I’m not impressed, either. I feel like they let it fall to the wayside. A “call us if you see anything, while we handle other issues” case. 

**kroaway:** They hurt my son, and one of my son’s best friends.

**kroaway:** I’m not letting it go until they’re caught.

**kroaway:** Now, I’m going to go. I’ll talk to you all later. I’ve got things to do.

 

**_Teacher Troop...And Regris_ **

**regressionequation:** “things to do” translates to “shit’s about to hit the fan” i’m so fuckign ready

**thaceofspades:** I’m afraid.

 

**_squad up_ **

**rollinnolan:** I’M BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED

**emandem:** hi bored,

**rollinnolan:** SHUT

**carrierpidgeon:** and how do u suggest we help w this situation nolan

**rollinnolan:** someone come over so we can be bored in the same place

**aglassofsherrie:** sorry, no can do, i’m out right now

**arsenicandoldlacey:** wow look at that i am also out

**rollinnolan:** yes we know ur girlfriends and u are hanging out together 

**rollinnolan:** summer em pidge PLEASE

**summertime:** smh what do u want to do if we come over

**rollinnolan:** stand outside in the thunderstorms with metal rods?

**emandem:** have fun with that benjamin franklin i prefer myself not electrocuted

**rollinnolan:** work on our summer homework? like those awful calc packets?

**carrierpidgeon:** shhh we’re not gonna talk about homework right now

**aglassofsherrie:** we’re gonna have to do them sometime

**carrierpidgeon:** so obviously we pick a day when everyone’s available

**arsenicandoldlacey:** technically four of us are never available ;D

**carrierpidgeon:** why

**carrierpidgeon:** are so many of you

**carrierpidgeon:** like lance when it comes to relationships

**rollinnolan:** lance like mcclain?

**carrierpidgeon:** no lance like that lifeguard from that one episode of suite life

**carrierpidgeon:** YES MCCLAIN

**emandem:** lance is my role model and icon

**carrierpidgeon:** /what the fuck/

**carrierpidgeon:** hold on lemme just reevaulate our relationship rlly quick

**aglassofsherrie:** pfffft

**summertime:** come on she’s not /as bad/

**emandem:** /as bad/ implies i’m still bad, summer

**emandem:** see this is why i prefer winter

**summertime:** wha

**summertime:** bitch

**emandem:** (☞⌐■_■)☞

**rollinnolan:** so wait is anyone actually coming over

**summertime:** can i get a concrete idea of what we’d be doing if i were to come over

**carrierpidgeon:** ^^

**rollinnolan:** video games? cards against humanity? uno? idfk

**rollinnolan:** someone just come and be bored with me we don’t even have to interact i’m just lonely

**summertime:** fiiiiiiiine i’ll come over in like half an hour

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll be there within the hour

**emandem:** fine i’ll go too

**rollinnolan:** ur just going bc pidge is going

**emandem:** no i’m going bc ur my friend :)

**rollinnolan:** yeah yeah likely story

**emandem:** ;D

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**kogayne:** so i come home with lance right

**allurable:** well this is a bad start to any story

**kogayne:** and the first thing my mom says is that she needs me to help her with something

**takashmeoutside:** oh god what did i miss while i’ve been working

**kogayne:** so she pulls up these photos on her computer and she’s like “do you recognize these men”

**kogayne:** and they’re the fuckers from the woodss

**carrierpidgeon:** ...what the fuck

**kogayne:** yeah that’s what i said too

**kogayne:** so meanwhile i’m here about to have a panic attack bc seeing them again set me off

**kogayne:** lance is doing his best to keep me calm

**kogayne:** my mom basically has a confirmation right then and there that yeah, those are those fuckers 

**kogayne:** and she got this like, look in her eye?

**kogayne:** so she helped to calm me down too

**kogayne:** aND THEN SHE LEFT THE HOUSE AND IT’S BEEN LIKE AN HOUR

**kogayne:** SO I GO INTO HER LAPTOP BC SHE LEFT IT BEHIND

**allurable:** yknow for a former spy you’d think she would’ve taken it or locked it or set up something so you couldn’t get into it

**lanceylance:** ikr

**kogayne:** AND SHE FOUND OUT WHERE ONE OF THE GUYS WORKS???

**kogayne:** I THINK SHE WENT TO FUCK HIM UP

**takashmeoutside:** oh my god

**takashmeoutside:** keith’s mom is gonna get arrested oh my god

**mattata:** u don’t know that for sure

**kogayne:** IF SHE’S ANYTHING LIKE ME SHE PROBABLY WENT TO FUCK THE GUY UP AND SHE’S GONNA GET ARRESTED

**kogayne:** ...waIT I HEAR SOMEONE OUTSIDE SHIRO ARE U HOME

**takashmeoutside:** NO??

**lanceylance:** keith just took out his knife ersghtrerntetnrt

**shayfromstatefarm:** do you blame him tho

**lanceylance:** uPDATE HIS MOM IS BACK WITH A COP DRHFTRNRTERE

**takashmeoutside:** oh no

**allurable:** LANCE WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING WE’RE ON THE EDGE OF OUR SEATS HERE

**lanceylance:** the cop just asked if shiro was home esfdgrsfntdh

**takashmeoutside:** FUCK NO I’M NOT I’M AT WORK

**mattata:** DO THEY NEED HIM IMMEDIATELY?

**lanceylance:** THEY’RE JUST HERE TO INFORM US ON A CASE UPDATE: ONE OF THE GUYS HAS BEEN CAUGHT

**lanceylance:** KROLIA!! WENT TO HIS WORKPLACE!!! AND CAUGHT HIM AND TURNED HIM IN

**takashmeoutside:** i take back any bad thing i’ve said about keith’s mom ever

**mattata:** [squints] do u really

**takashmeoutside:** maybe not everything but hOLY SHIT

**lanceylance:** GOTTA GO THINGS ARE GETTING EMOTIONAL TEXT Y’ALL LATER

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kroaway_ **

**kroaway:** One asshole down. Two more and one whole department to go.

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**kogayne:** wow, so. that happened.

**carrierpidgeon:** u alright?

**kogayne:** yeah, u?

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean yeah

**kogayne:** that’s...wow

**kogayne:** i really 

**kogayne:** don’t have the words

**kogayne:** and i uh

**kogayne:** i asked her to show me what else she’s been working on

**takashmeoutside:** and did she show you?

**kogayne:** yeah, she uh

**kogayne:** she’s been doing a lot

**kogayne:** she’s working on tracking down the other guy

**kogayne:** and she’s working on taking down zarkon

**mattata:** about time

**kogayne:** and exposing the corruption in the city

**kogayne:** so there’s that

**kogayne:** bc he’s buddy-buddy with half the police force

**mattata:** that sounds like a fuckin gotham city scenario

**mattata:** “yeah can’t take this guy down bc the police force is half-corrupt so we’re kinda just gonna,, let things slide. oh no, something happened oh tragic i wish we could’ve somehow prevented this”

**hunkerdunker:** so then is keith’s mom batman

**mattata:** catwoman

**hunkerdunker:** i thought she was a villain

**mattata:** villain, then antiheroine

**kogayne:** i mean she was a spy and the way she’s going about things is sketchy so i’d say it fits

**kogayne:** anyway, yeah, uh...today happened?

**kogayne:** anyone got any other stories

**hunkerdunker:** i got james’ snapchat and he looks like the kind of boy u avoid bc he’s a douche

**hunkerdunker:** then again i could be making snap judgments but like

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** look at that and tell me i’m wrong

**lanceylance:** erhteghjnyht get his other socials and sNOOP

**hunkerdunker:** that’s a tomorrow problem

**hunkerdunker:** i’m tired and going to bed

**hunkerdunker:** gn y’all

**lanceylance:** gn!!!

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ll be up all night gn

**mattata:** ur never not up all night

**mattata:** gn hunk!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m hopping out too see ya tomorrow y’all

**kogayne:** gn guys, i think i’m just gonna go to bed too

**takashmeoutside:** i’ll be home soon, did u guys have dinner

**kogayne:** do ramen noodles count

**takashmeoutside:** ...yes

**kogayne:** cool then yes

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**kogayne:** lance is staying over

**lanceylance:** i’m not goin to bed yet tho :P

**takashmeoutside:** oh so the opposite of last night

**lanceylance:** gotta make up for a day of being out of it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**allurable:** that’s fair

**allurable:** i’ll probably be up for a while, but gn everyone else

 

**_takashmeoutside > lanceylance_ **

**takashmeoutside:** are you still awake?

**lanceylance:** yep!! 

**takashmeoutside:** i’m leaving work now, how are things over there

**lanceylance:** everything’s pretty much calmed down

**lanceylance:** krolia decided she wanted to talk to me some more now that, yknow, keith and i got engaged

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes i’m still in disbelief

**lanceylance:** i mean it’s been like 4 days so that’s fair

**lanceylance:** but yeah i’m talking w krolia rn

**lanceylance:** keith’s upstairs asleep

**takashmeoutside:** when he said u guys had to calm him and keep him from panicking how bad was it

**lanceylance:** eh, not terrible? he kinda like

**lanceylance:** froze up, and started shaking a little, but he came out of it

**lanceylance:** then he cried a little bit

**lanceylance:** and i mean i don’t blame him

**lanceylance:** and then he was alright?? and now he’s zzzzzz

**takashmeoutside:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** let krolia know i’ll be back in ten minutes?

**lanceylance:** alrighty dude

**lanceylance:** i’ll probably be downstairs when u get in

**takashmeoutside:** that’s fine, just make sure u go to bed at some point

**lanceylance:** u got it broski

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was gonna be different ngl but then i decided to go this route
> 
> imma leave ^ that up to ur interpretation 
> 
> anyway plot list update time aka the list of plots i have approximately 3 weeks to wrap bc college move-in day is freakin aUGUST 24TH  
> 1\. the woods  
> 2\. lotor and zarkon  
> 3\. the blades  
> 4\. mcclain family drama (yep, this is still in play)  
> 5\. _____ ___ _______ [(5) (3) (7)] (it's coming...soon...hopefully...) (also none of u have gotten this :P)
> 
> see ya later!!


	20. the slytherin jumped out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hunk's got roommate issues; pidge has issues; keith and lance, for once, are not really having issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is the friday chapter sorry this is  
> a) late, bc i had a lot going on friday and saturday family-wise  
> b) short, bc i'm not really inspired atm and it's mostly like,,, filler and setup
> 
> anyway
> 
> **trigger warning for mentions of past violence**

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**hunkerdunker:** good morning everyone the pre-college anxiety is high bc we’ve got exactly 3 weeks to move-in

**lanceylance:** why would you remind me of this first thing in the morning you heathen

**hunkerdunker:** because if i’m awake and freaking out i’m taking all of you down with me

**shayfromstatefarm:** did something happen or was it just the realization we’re three weeks out

**hunkerdunker:** i mean i also did some research on this james kid and it looks like i’m gonna be switching roommates after this semester :)

**kogayne:** ...wait a minute i just realized something

**kogayne:** what james’ last name

**hunkerdunker:** uhh it sounded mythological or something hold on

**hunkerdunker:** griffin

**kogayne:** ...WAIT

**lanceylance:** oooh keith is onto something

**kogayne:** I WENT TO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WITH THA TFUCKER

**carrierpidgeon:** I HEARD JAMES GRIFFIN I’M HERE

**takashmeoutside:** i really hate that i opened the group chat to james griffin

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT DO YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT MY ROOMMATE

**allurable:** ...half the gc knows ur roommate what are the odds

**hunkerdunker:** I DUNNO BUT THEY’RE SCARY ODDS

**hunkerdunker:** kEITH WHAT DO U KNOW ABOUT HIM

**kogayne:** I PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE IN FIFTH GRADE THAT’S WHAT I KNOW ABOUT HIM

**hunkerdunker:** YOU WHAT

**kogayne:** I DUNNO IF HE’S MATURED BUT HE WAS AN ASS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

**shayfromstatefarm:** KEITH WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIM

**kogayne:** BECAUSE HE’S AN ASS??

**hunkerdunker:** I NEED TO KNOW MORE

**kogayne:** :) SO LIKE

**kogayne:** alright i was a smart kid, yknow?? i did well without trying but i had attitude problems and he didn’t like that because he was a know-it-all and wanted to be top of the class

**kogayne:** so he made fun of me saying the only reason i hadn’t been suspended or expelled was because “mommy and daddy” and then he didn’t get the chance to finish his fucking comment before i decked him and knocked out a tooth

**hunkerdunker:** YOU KNOCKED OUT A TOOTH?

**lanceylance:** holy shit

**kogayne:** nobody liked to mess with me after that

**lanceylance:** literally why was no one in middle school talking about that

**kogayne:** fear

**kogayne:** and james left town after that so it was no fun to bring it up if he wasn’t there to get all defensive over it

**carrierpidgeon:** and also that part where he called you out for having no parents 

**kogayne:** yeah that’s not exactly the most fun to bring up

**kogayne:** but yeah anyway i punched him in the face and he swore us enemies for life

**kogayne:** sorry lance but tbh our rivalry was nothing compared to the intense burning hatred i spent years trying to get over for james fucking griffin

**lanceylance:** u know what? i’ll take our silly fighting over actual hatred 

**kogayne:** twas a welcome reprieve tbh

**kogayne:** well i mean the friendship and then our relationship was obviously better but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** “was” as if it’s not ongoing

**kogayne:** ;)  <333

**carrierpidgeon:** oh trust me it was definitely a welcome reprieve, especially when keith realized his crush

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean as awful as him going “lance looked at me in the hallway today [sad heart eyes]” was it was nothing compared to nonstop complaining abt james

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean except for the roast sessions we started

**carrierpidgeon:** good roast sessions

**lanceylance:** you deem any roast session where you’re not the one getting roasted a good roast session

**carrierpidgeon:** :P i’m just unroastable

**lanceylance:** after roast sessions i may look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself

**hunkerdunker:** sOTP

**carrierpidgeon:** sotp

**shayfromstatefarm:** sotp

**allurable:** sotp

**kogayne:** sotp

**takashmeoutside:** sotp

**mattata:** sotp

**lanceylance:** and now there are (2) burnt chicken nuggets in this chat

**shayfromstatefarm:** wdefgdgrbngbd

**hunkerdunker:** but does this burnt chicken nugget love himself?? hmmm

**lanceylance:** bitch u fuckin better love urself

**lanceylance:** that’s my genius best friend right there

**lanceylance:** class salutatorian

**lanceylance:** engineering wiz and baker supreme

**lanceylance:** a chef to rival gordon ramsay

**lanceylance:** great hugger w a heart of gold

**hunkerdunker:** :)

**hunkerdunker:** wow maybe lance lives do matter

**lanceylance:** sHUT

**kogayne:** u know whose lives don’t matter

**carrierpidgeon:** james lives

**kogayne:** james lives

**kogayne:** :O

**carrierpidgeon:** DRIFT

**kogayne:** DRIFT

**takashmeoutside:** sometimes this group chat amazes me

**takashmeoutside:** in the span of two minutes we’ve jumped from roasting to vines to making fun of a typo back to vines to validation from lance to lives jokes to drift compatibility

**kogayne:** the versatility of man

**shayfromstatefarm:** the meme is the duality of man

**kogayne:** tragic

**kogayne:** it’s now the versatility of man i declare it

 

**_trauma trio_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** i’M HAVING A CRISIS

**kogayne:** when u say crisis do u mean breakdown and u need a therapist or something else

**carrierpidgeon:** IT’S A ROMANTIC CRISIS THAT’S WHY I’M TEXTING U TWO

**kogayne:** is everything alright with u and em?

**carrierpidgeon:** YES THAT’S ACTUALLY NOT WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT

**lanceylance:** ...uh oh

**carrierpidgeon:** SHERRIE JUST CALLED ME IN FUCKING TEARS

**carrierpidgeon:** SHE AND LACEY BROKE UP

**carrierpidgeon:** I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FUCKIN HANDLE THINGS?? SHE JUST KINDA VENTED

**lanceylance:** what did she tell you

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY BOTH SAID IT WAS “MUTUAL” BC THEY BOTH WEREN’T “FEELING ANYTHING” BUT SHERRIE WAS AND??? I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION

**carrierpidgeon:** I WAS FINALLY OVER MY CRUSH???? WHAT???????

**lanceylance:** yike-aroni and cheese

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M FEELIN WEIRD FEELS BAD FEELS PROCESSED

**kogayne:** alright, take a minute to stop back and breathe

**kogayne:** you can handle this

**kogayne:** tell us what’s going on in your head to the best of your ability

**carrierpidgeon:** error 404 page not found

**kogayne:** okay we need a little more than that to work with

**lanceylance:** okay how about this

**lanceylance:** you called this a romantic problem

**lanceylance:** tell us why exactly you find it a romantic problem if you weren’t involved in the breakup

**lanceylance:** like yeah the answer’s kinda obvious but spelling it out might help u get better insight into ur thoughts

**carrierpidgeon:** okay like

**carrierpidgeon:** sherrie was my first crush, right?? like she was also my realization that i wasn’t completely aro

**carrierpidgeon:** and i spent a long time trying to get over her and i finally did

**carrierpidgeon:** and now i have a gf that i like a lot but like??? i think there were Lingering Feelings and they are being a bITCH RIGHT NOW

**carrierpidgeon:** hELP

**lanceylance:** oh jeez

**lanceylance:** alright 

**lanceylance:** having lingering feelings like that’s normal

**lanceylance:** and they can take years to fade so that shouldn’t be a big deal rn

**lanceylance:** ur also 16, this isn’t like,,, overly serious

**carrierpidgeon:** boi if this was u tomorrow would be ur 3 month anniversary w keith

**kogayne:** yeah and we didn’t start taking it seriously till 8 months in

**carrierpidgeon:** but how am i supposed to /reach/ 8 months if i can’t do /3/

**lanceylance:** gurl

**lanceylance:** we’re probably the last people u should be modeling ur relationship off of

**kogayne:** i need one of those buttons

**kogayne:** like the “that was easy” button from staples

**kogayne:** except it just says “every relationship is different”

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna figure out how to make u one

**lanceylance:** but anyway

**lanceylance:** the first few months should be getting to know a person better and actually figuring out whether it’s something u want to work out in the long term, and figuring out what it is you really feel

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s the prOBLEM

**carrierpidgeon:** I DON’T KNOW WHAT I FEEL RN MY BRAIN IS A HOT MESS

**carrierpidgeon:** ROMANTIC LOVE? PLATONIC LOVE? IDFK WHAT’S GOING ON UP THEEEERE

**lanceylance:** bingo there’s the root of the issue

**lanceylance:** ur not sure how to differentiate the two

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** okay, i know ur brain is really scrambled rn, how abt u set ur phone down and focus on something else

**kogayne:** like working on rover or something

**kogayne:** u can’t sort this out when ur brain is displaying an error message

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA ALRIGHT UR RIGHT I’M GONNA

**carrierpidgeon:** FUCK I’M GONNA GO DO SOMETHING IDK WHAT

**carrierpidgeon:** ALRIGHT BYE

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** so like...there’s no way she’s poly like matt, right

**kogayne:** while that would be something else, no, she’s not

**kogayne:** or i highly doubt it

**lanceylance:** so like us then

**lanceylance:** one person to give her heart to

**kogayne:** shh ur not allowed to be soft when pidge is suffering

**lanceylance:** but u like soft lance

**kogayne:** i /love/ him, excuse u

**lanceylance:** >:3c

**kogayne:** anyway

**kogayne:** how are we supposed to approach this

**kogayne:** i’m not good at this the way u are

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s alright bby i got this

**lanceylance:** ur there to keep her calm and u know her better than i do

**lanceylance:** with our forces combined we’ll be able to help work this out with her

**lanceylance:** do u wanna go on a date and work on a game plan at the same time

**kogayne:** u just want an excuse to have a friday out with me

**lanceylance:** excuse u i don’t need an excuse i can show up whenever and u would be fine with it

**kogayne:** i hate how true that is

**lanceylance:** no u don’t

**kogayne:** ur right no i don’t

**kogayne:** where u wanna go

**lanceylance:** mmMmmMMmMmmMmMMMm beach date? take u out for ice cream after??

**kogayne:** i’ll be ready in 15

**lanceylance:** i’ll be over in 5

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**hunkerdunker:** so to do recon on james do i create all-new social media accounts and act like i’m one of Those Kids who only ever created them for college to get in touch w new classmates or do i come right out of the gate with “hi i’m hunk garrett and i’m close friends w the kid who punched u in the face in fifth grade”

**allurable:** i thought he already had your social media

**hunkerdunker:** nah so far he only has my facebook page and my snapchat but i haven’t posted on my story lately and i’m like never on fb

**shayfromstatefarm:** are u asking us whether or not u should catfish ur roommate

**hunkerdunker:** i wouldn’t call it /catfishing/ more like selectively not telling him details that one /might/ consider important

**allurable:** the slytherin jumped out

**takashmeoutside:** i mean if it’s just the keith thing you’re selectively not telling him i say go for it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**mattata:** is that takashi shirogane

**mattata:** actually /advocating/ for deception

**takashmeoutside:** no who said that

**mattata:** mmmmmmmmmmmmm [squints]

**hunkerdunker:** are keith lance and pidge busy or something

**hunkerdunker:** i expected at least one of them to come barging back in here with bad ideas in hand

**carrierpidgeon:** HI YEAH SORRY WHAT’S UP ARE WE LYING TO PEOPLE I’M QUITE GOOD AT IT

**hunkerdunker:** and i still have yet to summon the actor, the only slytherin in this gc

**lanceylance:** sorry keith was being cute what’s up

**lanceylance:** are we spying on james

**kogayne:** no spying needed straight up tell him u have my number on speed dial

**hunkerdunker:** but i don’t

**kogayne:** he doesn’t need to know that

**carrierpidgeon:** hunk: lmao i’m gonna conceal a very large part of my identity associated w james from james

**carrierpidgeon:** also hunk: but i don’t have keith on speed dial why would i say that i do

**hunkerdunker:** hush

**carrierpidgeon:** no fuck u

**hunkerdunker:** hmmm okay i’m gonna do it i’m gonna tell him my instagram name and see if he says anything abt the multiple group photos keith is in

**kogayne:** do u really think he’ll take the time to scroll thru ur profile tho

**hunkerdunker:** i mean i would

**shayfromstatefarm:** that’s what i did when kimberly gave me hers

**hunkerdunker:** oh yeah how’s that going?

**shayfromstatefarm:** great!!! we’re color-coding our dorm and we already have a lot of what we need

**shayfromstatefarm:** and we’re both journalism majors so a lot of our classes overlap which means we’ve worked out a tentative sleping schedule

**carrierpidgeon:** sleping

**takashmeoutside:** sleping

**lanceylance:** sleping

**kogayne:** slep? i don’t know her

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay heathens settle down there

**hunkerdunker:** update: sent james my instagram handle and phone number

**hunkerdunker:** now we wait ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 

**_trauma trio_ **

**kogayne:** alright two things

**kogayne:** one: pidge do u wanna do a joint therapy session next weekend now that we’ve got developments on the Thing from october

**carrierpidgeon:** uhhh yeah sure i guess

**kogayne:** awesome, i’ll email our therapist

**kogayne:** lance do u wanna make it a three-way and discuss ur fam issues

**lanceylance:** may as well

**kogayne:** excellent

**kogayne:** two: pidge are u ready to keep talking about the thing or do u wanna wait till another day

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhHhhhHhh i’m gonna wait

**carrierpidgeon:** give it a day or two to process

**carrierpidgeon:** bc holy shit i was not prepared for that i’m still??? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** that’s alright, take ur time

**lanceylance:** u wanna come hang out with me and keith and watch the new buzzfeed unsolved together tonight

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah i think that’s a good idea

 

**_jamesgriffindor > hunkerdunker_ **

**jamesgriffindor:** so i looked at your instagram page

**jamesgriffindor:** and you’re friends with keith kogane?

**hunkerdunker:** yes

**jamesgriffindor:** WHAT THE FUCK

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

_ (1) photo from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** :))) and so it begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand plot list time  
> 1\. the woods (still in play!)  
> 2\. lotor and zarkon (stillll in playyyy!)  
> 3\. the blades (why do u all love regris so much)  
> 4\. mcclain family drama (we're not done here yet :P)  
> 5\. pidge and sherrie [NEW REVEAL!] (exactly (1) of you got this and i sat there internally screaming...so many of u were close but not quite...)
> 
> so yes now u know the (5) arcs i have to wrap in 3 weeks
> 
> alright see ya in the next chapter probably tuesday or wednesday, maybe monday but oof probably not
> 
> laterrrr


	21. the chapter that's going up a week late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 08/07/18: pidge is still having issues, keith and krolia are doing stuff, lance is having issues, wHY'S EVERYONE GOT ISSUES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to apologize for this going up a week late, here are my bullshit excuses  
> -i had family stuff going down in the days before this was supposed to go up  
> -i'm prepping to go to college  
> -vld stan twitter is...very exhausting  
> -i started getting rlly back into wizard101 (I FINALLY FUCKIN FINISHED KHRYSALIS AFTER LIKE 2 YEARS LMFAO)  
> -s7 crushed my soul and pushed me down a flight of stairs and then spit on me  
> -s7 also made my spite-fueled drive to write a massive fix-it fic go up by like 500% so i've been plotting that (can u tell i didn't like s7)
> 
> anyway here's the chapter

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** uwu good morning baby  <3333

**kogayne:** ur in a good mood and being disgustingly cute for a tuesday morning what’s up

**lanceylance:** missin ur faaaace  <3333333333

**lanceylance:** i know u have a lot going on but  <33333333333333

**kogayne:** this is suspicious even for u

**kogayne:** who are u and where’s my fiancé

**lanceylance:** mmm fiancé we’re fiancéssss  <333

**kogayne:** DID U SLEEP LAST NIGHT

**lanceylance:** listen,,, hear me out,,,, you’ve pulled this shit before,,,,,,

**kogayne:** WHY DIDN’T U SLEEP LAST NIGHT

**lanceylance:** okayyy so maybe we both have a lot going on

**kogayne:** >:( talk to me

**lanceylance:** just

**lanceylance:** more

**lanceylance:** jackass

**lanceylance:** drama

**kogayne:** :((((

**lanceylance:** he’s just!!! he won’t leave!!!!!! my aunt still feels bad for him!!!!! like literally my mom and my other aunt went in and now tía carmen is staying with tía stella but?? jackass keeps!! trying to talk to her!!! and contact her!!! 

**lanceylance:** tía carmen’s slowly realizing that jackass is a TOOL but we need him :) to stay :) the fuck :) away :))))

**lanceylance:** my mom is threatening to put a restraining order on him so there’s legal stuff she wants to get involved but honestly we just want to throw jackass’s ass out onto the street already but :)))

**lanceylance:** and that’s what you missed on keeping up with the mcclains!!

**kogayne:** :((( i’m sorry

**kogayne:** do u need someone to come get his ass

**kogayne:** like with a knife

**lanceylance:** no but u could send in ur scary spy mom

**kogayne:** don’t even joke i’ll do it for real if it means he’s away from ur family

**lanceylance:** wow,, so protective man after my own heart uwu

**kogayne:** boi i already have ur heart

**lanceylance:** :)  <333

**kogayne:** is this all-nighter sleep deprivation or “i only slept a couple of hours” sleep deprivation

**lanceylance:** uhh that first oneeee?

**kogayne:** lance,

**lanceylance:** shh

**kogayne:** gO TO SLEEP

**lanceylance:** MY MOM NEEDS HELP W FAMILY STUFF NO CAN DO

**kogayne:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** SHHHHHHHHHHH

**kogayne:** smh do u know if you’ll end up being free at all today

**lanceylance:** hopefully this afternoooooon?

**kogayne:** okay well if u end up being free text me

**kogayne:** so i can go over there and take care of ur butt

**lanceylance:** caring concerned keith uwu wow i love

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

_ (3) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** help he’s delirious

**lanceylance:** wow just expose me to the gc i see how it is

**allurable:** oooooooof course he didn’t sleep

**lanceylance:** GOT A LOT GOIN ON DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

**allurable:** :( all of us do rn

**hunkerdunker:** not to be rude but speak for urselves :P 

**lanceylance:** alright LISTEN HERE HUNKETH

**shayfromstatefarm:** that just means he’s stuck w me on extra bb shifts dw about it

**lanceylance:** friendship ended with hunk shay is now my best friend

**shayfromstatefarm:** (✿◠‿◠)

**hunkerdunker:** wow i see how it is

 

**_kogayne_ ** _ added  _ **_kroaway_ ** _ ,  _ **_allurable_ ** _ , and  _ **_lotoreal_ ** _ to  _ **_Legal Stuff_ **

**kogayne:** so

**kogayne:** uh there’s really no good way to approach this topic but uhhh

**kogayne:** hey lotor

**kogayne:** are u interested in helping us with something

**lotoreal:** ??? i have allura’s phone number, but i’m afraid i don’t have that other one

**kogayne:** yeah uhh that’s

**kogayne:** that’s my mom

**lotoreal:** ...oh

**kogayne:** she uh

**kogayne:** mom ywanna introduce yourself

**allurable:** are you really just adding y in front of every word to shorten it

**kogayne:** it’s faster?

**allurable:** it’s the texan

**kogayne:** sHUT

**kroaway:** Hello, Lotor. I’m Krolia. I was wondering if you’d be interested in something involving the arrest of you father.

**lotoreal:** ...keep going…

**kroaway:** Let’s just say I’m in the business of getting rid of corruption in this town, and serving justice to the people who hurt my son and his friends.

**lotoreal:** are you asking to enlist me in this journey of arresting my father?

**kogayne:** why is everyone speaking so formally

**allurable:** i have no fucking idea

**kroaway:** Yes, that’s exactly what I’m asking.

**lotoreal:** ...then yes

**kroaway:** Would you mind meeting us at Balmera Beans later this afternoon?

**lotoreal:** 2 PM ish sound alright?

**kogayne:** wow they’re really just out here doing this in front of us

**kroaway:** Excellent. We’ll see you then.

 

**_trauma trio_ **

**kogayne:** alright pidge it’s been four days, how are things on your end

**carrierpidgeon:** NOBODY’S TALKED IN MY GROUP CHAT IN FOUR DAYS NO ONE’S SAYING ANYTHING SHERRIE CALLED ME AGAIN LAST NIGHT TO CRY MORE AND???

**lanceylance:** but have you been talking to em?

**carrierpidgeon:** uh no

**kogayne:** pidge  >:(

**lanceylance:** PIDGE THAT’S RULE ONE

**carrierpidgeon:** OKAY BUT SHE’S NOT?? INVOLVED IN THE BREAKUP AND IT’S NOT REALLY MY PLACE TO SAY ANYTHING SO LIKE??

**kogayne:** ...i mean she’s got a point

**lanceylance:** i hate when she has a point

**carrierpidgeon:** >:)

**lanceylance:** are you /gonna/ talk to her

**carrierpidgeon:** hhhhh eventually?

**carrierpidgeon:** maybe when sherrie and lacey actually fuckin tell the gc that they broke up!!!

**kogayne:** do u know for sure that no one else knows like what if they told everyoen else individually

**carrierpidgeon:** SHIT

**lanceylance:** lmfao juniors

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT

**lanceylance:** AM I WRONG

**carrierpidgeon:** NO YOU’RE NOT AND THAT MAKES ME BITTER

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** well then i rest my case tALK TO YOUR FRIENDS MAKE A SEPARATE GC SINCE U HAVE NO PROBLEM DOING IT WITH THIS FRIEND GROUP

**carrierpidgeon:** shit u right

**lanceylance:** SOMETIMES I HAPPEN TO BE RIGHT

**kogayne:** >:( give urself more credit u happen to be right quite often

**lanceylance:** uwu  <3333

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god go be mushy somewhere else

**lanceylance:** i would if i could see keith today

**lanceylance:** i miss my babyyyy

**carrierpidgeon:** oHHHH MY GOOOO

**kogayne:** fdbgndgnhgf i miss u too 

**carrierpidgeon:** I’M MUTING THE CHAT BYE

 

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ added  _ **_emandem_ ** _ ,  _ **_summertime_ ** _ , and  _ **_rollinnolan_ ** _ to  _ **_secret society_ **

**emandem:** whoa why are we keeping secrets

**rollinnolan:** wait is this about what i think it’s about

**summertime:** [squints] what do u think it’s about

**rollinnolan:** alright well let’s see who’s not here [squints back]

**emandem:** oh...oh shit do u guys know about that too

**carrierpidgeon:** are we all talking about what i think we’re talking about

**rollinnolan:** ...who’s gonna be the first to say it and take responsibility for the gossip if we’re wrong

**summertime:** alright u fuckign losers

**summertime:** lacey and sherrie

**carrierpidgeon:** how’d y’all find out

**summertime:** lacey texted me

**emandem:** lacey

**carrierpidgeon:** i found out thru sherrie

**rollinnolan:** both

**rollinnolan:** bc i’m cool like that

**carrierpidgeon:** wow okay nolan

**rollinnolan:** :)

**summertime:** yeah so uhh what are we gonna do about them

**summertime:** we literally planned to go into junior year as a Squad but??

**emandem:** well okay, we heard from lacey

**emandem:** katie heard from sherrie

**emandem:** nolan heard from both of them

**rollinnolan:** i get whiplash every time u call pidge katie

**carrierpidgeon:** me too

**summertime:** u soft fucks

**emandem:** yes anyway can i get Back To My Point

**rollinnolan:** no fuck u

**emandem:** so Back To My Point,

**emandem:** what did sherrie tell u guys

**carrierpidgeon:** she said the breakup was mutual but uhhh it apparently wasn’t all that mutual, she just kinda agreed to it

**carrierpidgeon:** she didn’t want it

**summertime:** oh fuck

**rollinnolan:** yeah that’s what sherrie told me and uhh

**rollinnolan:** big yikes

**carrierpidgeon:** ...what did lacey say

**summertime:** uh

**emandem:** lmao lacey was like “finally”

**summertime:** “glad she decided it was mutual bc oof”

**carrierpidgeon:** wHAT

**emandem:** she’s still glad to be sherrie’s friend!! but

**emandem:** gf?? dID NOT WORK FOR HER

**carrierpidgeon:** this is

**carrierpidgeon:** wow this is bad

**summertime:** tell me about it

**rollinnolan:** alright team so what’s the plan

**summertime:** wait hold on why are you team leader

**rollinnolan:** bc i can?

**summertime:** no i’m the team leader

**emandem:** uh hello we have friends we need to deal with?

**carrierpidgeon:** we can fight over who’s leading the team later

**carrierpidgeon:** right now we need to figure out what we’re gonna do about sherrie and lacey

**carrierpidgeon:** considering the other chat’s been dead for four days

**rollinnolan:** well no duh it’s been dead i wasn’t about to accidentally start up a mess

**emandem:** we don’t know that saying anything will start up a mess

**rollinnolan:** no mess? in this friend group?

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean

**emandem:** okay LISTEN

**rollinnolan:** so how are we gonna approach the gc

**rollinnolan:** do we wanna make plans to do something and see if they’ll show

**carrierpidgeon:** ...are we gonna do it

**summertime:** wait are we actually gonna make plans tho i’m bored

**rollinnolan:** ...sports center?

**carrierpidgeon:** oooh i haven’t been there in so long

**emandem:** me neither my sister wouldn’t let me sneak into post-prom

**carrierpidgeon:** ur sister and my other friends are deadbeats

**summertime:** lol

**rollinnolan:** sports center it is

**rollinnolan:** for fridaayyy??

**carrierpidgeon:** new season of one of my shows drops friday...HELL YEAH SLEEP DEPRIVATION LET’S GO

**emandem:** LMFAO

**summertime:** this is why we can’t have nice things

**rollinnolan:** FRIDAY IT IS

**summertime:** NOLAN

 

**_squad up_ **

**rollinnolan:** SUP FUCKERS

**rollinnolan:** I’M BORED AND SUMMER’S QUICKLY COMING TO AN END

**rollinnolan:** WHO WANTS TO HIT UP THE SPORTS CENTER ON FRIDAY

**carrierpidgeon:** me!!! haven’t been there in forever bc my friends are deadbeats

**emandem:** u can say klance and hunay it’s okay

**summertime:** sfdbhdbhfghfgn

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT

**summertime:** i’ll go i’ve got nothing better to do with my life

**aglassofsherrie:** hmmm i’ll have to think about it

**aglassofsherrie:** i’m kinda busy the next couple weeks

**emandem:** :( u should go

**emandem:** i’m going and i’m buckets of fun

**arsenicandoldlacey:** i’ll also have to think about it

**arsenicandoldlacey:** i’ve got a lot on my plate so i’ll get back to you guys when i can

**arsenicandoldlacey:** sorry

**_arsenicandoldlacey_ ** _ left  _ **_squad up_ **

**emandem:** okay now that one half of this is gone can we address this

**summertime:** EM

**rollinnolan:** AND YOU YELLED AT ME

**summertime:** YOU CHAOTIC GAY

**aglassofsherrie:** ...so lacey told u guys

**emandem:** yeah :(

**summertime:** how are u doing sherrie :(

**aglassofsherrie:** i’d really rather not talk about it

**carrierpidgeon:** :(( u know we’re here if u need us

**aglassofsherrie:** yeah, i know

**aglassofsherrie:** thanks, guys

**rollinnolan:** okay but the sports center,

**summertime:** NOLAN

**carrierpidgeon:** NOLAN

**emandem:** NOLAN

**rollinnolan:** SORRY

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** checkin in, how are things with ur family

**lanceylance:** i’m going to tear my hair out i need to get out of here there’s been nothing but arguing and tension all day 

**lanceylance:** i’ve had to step out with clara and javier twice but i keep getting called back in to deal with stuff and i can’t handle it oh mygod

**kogayne:** :( it’s gonna be okay

**kogayne:** take some deep breaths

**kogayne:** do you need to call me? facetime? 

**lanceylance:** i need to fuckign cry i don’t need this right before college

**kogayne:** do u want me to come get you

**lanceylance:** :(( you’ve got stuff going on

**kogayne:** yeah but you’re more important

**lanceylance:** :((((((

**kogayne:** lance i’m serious i can come get you right now

**kogayne:** my mom and allura are doing more to take care of the situation rn than i am

**kogayne:** if u and ur niblings need to leave /i will come get u/

**lanceylance:** :((((((((((

**lanceylance:** hnn u sure

**kogayne:** when it comes to u? always

**lanceylance:** :(((((((((((((((  <333

**kogayne:** u need me?

**lanceylance:** hhhh yeah

**kogayne:** i’ll be there in 5, hang tight

**kogayne:** i love u

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**mattata:** well, it’s been a day

**hunkerdunker:** tell me abt it

**carrierpidgeon:** oh what’s this now mr “speak for urselves”

**hunkerdunker:** bb was abnormally crowded, krolia keith lotor and allura showed up, then keith left and came back with lance clara and javier

**takashmeoutside:** why do i find none of that surprising

**kogayne:** my boy needed me

**takashmeoutside:** anyway how are things going with krolia’s investigations

**kogayne:** lotor gave her a lot of evidence abt zarkon, tomorrow she said she’s gonna do more stuff with it and i’m honestly afraid to find out what that is

**allurable:** she’s also still making headway on the thing from october so there’s that

**takashmeoutside:** how’s lotor?

**kogayne:** he’s okay ish?

**allurable:** evidently it was a sensitive topic, but he seemed...cold about it

**kogayne:** it’s like he desensitized himself

**takashmeoutside:** jeez

**shayfromstatefarm:** :(

**shayfromstatefarm:** we felt bad and gave him a couple free coffees

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^ he looked like he appreciated it

**lanceylance:** pidge how are things with u

**carrierpidgeon:** my friend group is stable atm except for that thing so

**takashmeoutside:** did i miss something

**carrierpidgeon:** sherrie and lacey broke up and didn’t tell us that they told us

**carrierpidgeon:** like some of my friends talked to one or the other but?? no one knew we knew but now we do

**mattata:** unintentional rhymes are a crime, pidge

**carrierpidgeon:** sHUT

**lanceylance:** sorry i’m just having hamilton flashbacks

**lanceylance:** “let’s let him know what we know”

**carrierpidgeon:** you musical motherfucker

**mattata:** aaand now we’ve got alliteration

**carrierpidgeon:** LET ME LIVE

**hunkerdunker:** no one’s allowed to live we’re all dying

**carrierpidgeon:** wh

**carrierpidgeon:** WHERE DID THIS ATTITUDE COME FROM

**hunkerdunker:** college starts in just over two weeks :’)

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**takashmeoutside:** you guys are gonna be fine

**kogayne:** hmmm will we be tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** hmm

**lanceylance:** HMMMMMMMMMMM

**hunkerdunker:** HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

**takashmeoutside:** quiet children just accept the words of wisdom

**kogayne:** there’s a difference between reassurances and words of wisdom

**mattata:** yeah kashi if u were so wise u would think u’d understand the difference

**takashmeoutside:** i am BEING ATTACKED

**allurable:** tragic

**takashmeoutside:** we are not doing the Great Couple War again

**kogayne:** a couple implies 2 and you’re in a poly relationship

**takashmeoutside:** yOU KNOW WHAT KEITH

**kogayne:** SORRY FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH I GUESS ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay kiddos calm down

**takashmeoutside:** now wait a minute you all were just flipping out a minute ago,

**shayfromstatefarm:** no we weren’t

**hunkerdunker:** can’t prove anything

**lanceylance:** flipping out bitch where

**takashmeoutside:** why are you all out of control today

**kogayne:** because we’re actually the ones in control

**takashmeoutside:** wh

**kogayne:** also lance clara javier and i might have taken over the house

**takashmeoutside:** ??? wHERE’S YOUR MOM

**kogayne:** she has stuff to do, she’s apparently out and about

**takashmeoutside:** am i going to come home to a mess

**carrierpidgeon:** pls say yes pls say yes pls say yes

**kogayne:** uhhh no comment

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**carrierpidgeon:** 100% sure keith’s lack of an immediate response is bc he’s debating whether or not to throw lance under the bus

**kogayne:** i would NEVER

**carrierpidgeon:** but it’s his fault isn’t it

**lanceylance:** BOI

**kogayne:** it was actually the niblings but go off i guess

**kogayne:** shiro i promise the house will not be a mess when you come home

**takashmeoutside:** are they staying the night

**lanceylance:** ...would u mind

**takashmeoutside:** okay so i’m going to the holt house

**mattata:** HELL YEAH

**kogayne:** :O

**kogayne:** fine more time alone with my boyfriend and his niblings

**lanceylance:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so anyways,,,
> 
> i'm gonna try and get a chapter out tomorrow but no promises
> 
> shoutout to the person who commented "pls save us from s7" like an hour after i finished my binge ur valid
> 
> thanks for those who checked in wondering what was wrong, i'm good, my period happened so That Was A Thing,,
> 
> anyways if u wanna keep up with me as i try to finish this and plot out my other projects  
> -follow on twitter or instagram (user on both is nerdyspaceace)  
> -[join my voltron discord](https://discord.gg/tX4auz7)
> 
> i'm not gonna include the plot list bc it hasn't changed
> 
> anyway see y'all later


	22. college move-in...in 8 days...SOS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so what's happened in the 9 days that passed between this chapter and the last?  
> -krolia made headway on the school district case, lotor's case, and the woods shit  
> -the arus squad draws ever-closer to move-in  
> -lance's family drama has persisted  
> -pidge's friend group is no closer to coming back together in full
> 
> chapter summary: more college shenanigans, more drama with keith, lance, and pidge's situations...the usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's play "how many times did eileen shade the voltron fandom in one chapter"

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**hunkerdunker:** 8\. days. i’m not fINE I’M NOT FINE I SAID I’M A PANSEXUAL HAVING A PANIC ATTACK

**lanceylance:** THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEEDED FIRST THING IN THE MORNING HUNKETH

**hunkerdunker:** PNAIC ATTACK

**shayfromstatefarm:** are none of you packed yet

**hunkerdunker:** I’M LIKE HALFWAY DONE??

**lanceylance:** UHH

**shayfromstatefarm:** LANCE

**lanceylance:** I’VE BEEN STRESSED LATELY LEAVE ME ALONE

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK YEAH OKAY YOU GET A PASS

**shayfromstatefarm:** :( how’s everything going with that

**lanceylance:** well after intensive discussion and jackass threatening us we’ve finally put in for a restraining order!!

**lanceylance:** ONLY TOOK OVER A FUCKING WEEK

**shayfromstatefarm:** :(((

**hunkerdunker:** dude i’m so sorry

**lanceylance:** it’s

**lanceylance:** hhh it’s fine i’ll get over it things are finally fucking calming down around here and now it’s college crunch time

**lanceylance:** like

**lanceylance:** hnnnn my mom was focused on the issue with tía carmen and jackass that emely’s mostly been helping me 

**lanceylance:** yknow since i’ve been watching her kids

**lanceylance:** IT’S JUST SUPER STRESSFUL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mattata:** lance :((( why didn’t u say u needed help i could’ve helped :(

**lanceylance:** erthdgrhgfnghng i’m jjust 

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** someone else talk abt their issues i don’t wanna talk abt mine

**lanceylance:** pidge keith how are things with u guys

**carrierpidgeon:** my friend group is a disaster

**carrierpidgeon:** we went to the sports center last friday right?? lacey and sherrie both ended up showing up and it was tense and awkward as hell the entire time

**carrierpidgeon:** i think they know that we know but no one’s acknowledging it so there’s this huge elephant in the room and??? AAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** no one’s really talked this week it’s a disaster junior year is going to be chaotic as hell HELP

**kogayne:** tell them to get their acts together

**kogayne:** find one of them to confide in

**carrierpidgeon:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**carrierpidgeon:** i mean there’s emily???

**lanceylance:** do u and her talk shit together

**carrierpidgeon:** …

**carrierpidgeon:** listen,

**lanceylance:** PFFFFFFFFF

**kogayne:** okay maybe they don’t necessary talk /shit/,

**carrierpidgeon:** ,,, LISTEN,,

**kogayne:** oh my gOD

**hunkerdunker:** she truly does take after keith and matt this is amazing

**mattata:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**takashmeoutside:** i saw pidge taking after keith and matt why are we encouraging this

**kogayne:** SHIRO

**takashmeoutside:** DON’T LET THAT PERSIST NIP THAT IN THE BUD

**kogayne:** ALRIGHT GRANOLA BAR I SEE HOW IT IS

**allurable:** shiro leave them alone

**takashmeoutside:** listen i speak the truth

**kogayne:** FAKE NEWS

**shayfromstatefarm:** dO NOT,

**hunkerdunker:** anyway speaking of keith how are things with your mom and all that stuff

**kogayne:** uhh i don’t know much on the legal stuff, allura’s got those answers, she’s close to finding the other guy from the woods tho?

**kogayne:** the other guy apparently didn’t post bail so he’s not walking free any time soon

**kogayne:** uhh allura u wanna update them on the thing w zarkon and the school district

**allurable:** lotor’s making a move to press charges against his father for years of abuses, krolia’s getting a bunch of her friends to sue the school district, it’s kind of a hot mess

**carrierpidgeon:** u mean sue the same school district i’m still stuck in for another two years

**allurable:** yes

**carrierpidgeon:** wHY

**allurable:** listen,, this is for ur benefit just roll with it

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i want to sCREAM are shiro and ur mom doing the same thing my mom is doing

**kogayne:** ...which is…

**lanceylance:** begging u to stay home this week bc it’s the last time they’re gonna see u for an extended period till like, november

**kogayne:** UR FAMILY IS DOING THAT TOO

**lanceylance:** dffghngfgngf

**kogayne:** SHIRO AND MY MOM WERE LIKE “LISTEN WE KNOW YOU LOVE LANCE AND YOUR FRIENDS BUT THIS IS THE LAST WEEK WE HAVE WITH YOU”

**lanceylance:** wergtrhfngbgn wHAT DO WE DO I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE

**kogayne:** well we all know i have no problem not listening to authority but

**lanceylance:** i’m not like that

**kogayne:** yeah ur not always like that

**kogayne:** okay well we could always sneak out at night?? we’d just have to head back home before morning

**lanceylance:** do u know how sleep-deprived we’d be

**kogayne:** it’s never stopped us before

**kogayne:** just take naps during the day

**lanceylance:** i’m supposed to be fixing my sleep schedule right before i go to college,,

**lanceylance:** yknow what fuck it

**lanceylance:** the last couple weeks have been so high-stress i need to get out 

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** edfgndgnbfnfgdfb why are u being a bad influence

**kogayne:** gotta live up to that reputation i somehow earned

**lanceylance:** okay shush ur a good kid and i love u

**kogayne:** :D  <3333

**lanceylance:** my other half, my heart, my soulmate,

**kogayne:** RTHNGFNJHJMHJMGHV

**lanceylance:** uwu  <33333

**kogayne:** so the sneaking out, it’s happening?

**lanceylance:** mmmm bad boy keith good shit,,

**kogayne:** >;D

**kogayne:** where do u wanna go

**lanceylance:** diner? beach? both?

**kogayne:** hit the diner and then hit the beach after?

**lanceylance:** that works

**kogayne:** i’ll drive tonight

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** looking forward to seeing u :)

**kogayne:** <3

**lanceylance:** <3

 

**_renegaydes_ **

**madplax:** hey fuckers who’s still in town this weekend

**zethridofmyproblems:** not me :(

**lotoreal:** i’m gonna be in town from now till forever #commuting

**lanceylance:** did u just hashtag in the gc

**lotoreal:** ...mayhaps

**lanceylance:** and say mayhaps

**lotoreal:** maybe

**lanceylance:** GUYS WE BROKE HIM

**lotoreal:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** FGHFYMGHNM

**madplax:** ...ANYWAY

**madplax:** can i continue knowing who’s in town

**swirnupanddown:** i’ll be gone :(

**blumpyfumpy:** i’ll be here!

**floronawiththecorona:** i’m gonna be gone tooooo

**sippinganartini:** i’ll be here

**hunkerdunker:** arus squad’s here

**dinezor:** lmao i’ll be OUT PEACE Y’ALL

**acxalutelynot:** i’m still gonna be around

**sarahahaha:** i’ll be gone

**emandem:** finally

**sarahahaha:** SHUT UP

**emandem:** :-)

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m still trapped in high school...i’ll be here

**madplax:** okay so i’ve got a chunk of you

**madplax:** ...are some of you already gone

**zethridofmyproblems:** i’ve been gone for three days

**madplax:** OMFG

**madplax:** ZETH I’M SORRY

**dinezor:** i leave in the morning

**floronawiththecorona:** ^^

**sarahahaha:** ^^^^

**swirnupanddown:** i’m currently on the road

**madplax:** okay well sorry to those who are leaving

**madplax:** to those still here on saturday

**madplax:** party, my place, 3 pm till whenever

**madplax:** one last hoorah before college

**madplax:** ...again, unless ur already gone

**madplax:** pidge and em u guys are invited

**carrierpidgeon:** oh fuck yeah

**emandem:** WOOOOOOOOOO SUCK IT SARAH

**sarahahaha:** plax i’m holding u accountable for this

**madplax:** noted

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** :) another reason to get out of the house and be with my friends :D

**kogayne:** u driving or am i driving

**lanceylance:** hmmm you’ve got the sneakout tonight i’ll take saturday

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** also i thought of another reason for us to get together again before we leave for college

**lanceylance:** i’m all ears

**lanceylance:** eyes

**lanceylance:** whatever u get my point

**kogayne:** do some looking over our stuff and wrap up packing

**kogayne:** it just makes sense bc we’re dorming together so /technically/ we’re being productive

**lanceylance:** DID U KNOW I LOVE U A LOT

**kogayne:** yes but i never get sick of hearing it

**lanceylance:** keith kogane, i love you with every last fiber of my being, from now till the end of time

**kogayne:** THAT WENT FROM 0 TO 100 REAL QUICK RFDGNBDGHFG

**lanceylance:** i have a lot of feelings for you,

**kogayne:** APPARENTLY

**lanceylance:** :)

**kogayne:** i

**kogayne:** also

**kogayne:** have a lot of feelings for you

**kogayne:** i just don’t articulate them as well over text

**lanceylance:** well then u can show me tonight

**lanceylance:** :D

**kogayne:** FRGFNDHGNBG WHY ARE U LIKE THIS

**lanceylance:** u love it when i’m like this 

**kogayne:** hmmm ur right  <33

**lanceylance:** i’ve gotta go, see u tn if i don’t text u later  <3333

 

**_secret society_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** we’ve gotta do something about sherrie and lacey

**carrierpidgeon:** THEY WERE FRIENDS BEFORE ALL THIS HAPPENED

**emandem:** and this guys gals and nonbinary pals is why we don’t catch feelings!

**summertime:** ur literally in a relationship

**emandem:** and this is why we only occasionally catch feelings!

**rollinnolan:** to be fair em and pidge waited before calling each other their gfs

**rollinnolan:** sherrie and lacey were there after like 3 days

**emandem:** see!!!

**summertime:** that has literally nothing to do with the argument u were presenting

**carrierpidgeon:** yes okay topic at hand our friends??

**carrierpidgeon:** we don’t necessarily need to bring them back together romantically but??

**summertime:** hmm

**summertime:** we need to get them into the same place again and make them actually talk

**rollinnolan:** someone hosts a sleepover

**rollinnolan:** we play seven minutes in heaven

**rollinnolan:** and lock them in a closet until they work their issues out

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m pretty sure hunk once did that to keith and lance their freshman year and they tried to kill each other

**summertime:** yes but that’s keith and lance

**carrierpidgeon:** true

**rollinnolan:** okay so what i’m hearing is sherrie and lacey won’t try to kill each other so it’s a good idea :D

**emandem:** ...why am i actually on board with this

**summertime:** EM NO

**carrierpidgeon:** EM NO

**summertime:** ...dRIFT

**carrierpidgeon:** DRIFT

**emandem:** okay so it’s “em no” but not “nolan no” okay gOOOOOT IT

**rollinnolan:** i am just that iconic

**rollinnolan:** legendary

**rollinnolan:** all legs no dairy

**summertime:** SHUT

**carrierpidgeon:** so does anyone else have any suggestion to offer

**carrierpidgeon:** or do we have to go with nolan’s “lock them in close quarters until they talk it out” solution

**rollinnolan:** IT’S A GOOD IDEA STOP BASHING IT

**summertime:** so to get them to go to a sleepover together do we ask them in separate chats

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s really sneaky i don’t like that

**emandem:** yeah that’s like,,, rlly skeezy

**carrierpidgeon:** why don’t we give this a couple days and wait a bit before doing anything

**summertime:** scheme some more maybe?

**carrierpidgeon:** yeah

**rollinnolan:** alright fine don’t go with my awesome fool-proof plan

**emandem:** foolproof

**rollinnolan:** yes

**emandem:** no i mean it’s foolproof

**rollinnolan:** yes??

**emandem:** NO IT’S SPELLED FOOLPROOF NOT FOOL-PROOF THERE’S NO HYPHEN

**carrierpidgeon:** aaand this is where i hop out

**summertime:** yep

 

**_Blades of Marmora_ **

**kroaway:** Does everyone have their evidence ready for tomorrow?

**koliwhitevans:** I’ve never been so ready to ruin a man’s life.

**thaceofspades:** Not even that one time in Chicago?

**koliwhitevans:** We don’t talk about Chicago.

**ulaztcall:** WE DON’T TALK ABOUT CHICAGO.

**kroaway:** I thought we agreed never to talk about Chicago.

**ticktockantok:** Do NOT get me started on Chicago.

**regressionequation:** WAIT I WAS SICK FOR CHICAGO WHAT HAPPENED IN CHICAGO

**kroaway:** NOTHING.

**koliwhitevans:** ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

**regressionequation:** you guys never let me have any fun i hate this fucking family

**thaceofspades:** Anyway, yes, Krolia, we’re ready.

**ticktockantok:** Zarkon finally gets what’s coming, the school district will finally take us seriously…

**ulaztcall:** Hopefully.

**koliwhitevans:** Love the optimism there, Ulaz.

**ulaztcall:** I said the word hope in there.

**koliwhitevans:** I don’t know, I detected heavy sarcasm.

**regressionequation:** can u not be pessimistic for two minutes

**thaceofspades:** I thought he was being more realistic than pessimistic.

**regressionequation:** WHERE IS YOUR OPTIMISM WE HAVE LOADS OF EVIDENCE OF ALL THIS STUFF

**kroaway:** But have you considered that the town, including the police force, is corrupt?

**koliwhitevans:** Have you considered that the school board members care more about their pockets than their students and staff?

**kroaway:** Money speaks louder than logic, Regris.

**regressionequation:** smh u will never get far in life without a can-do attitude

**thaceofspades:** ...So why is Regris here?

**regressionequation:** BOI

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i’m so wiped out from trying to pack

**lanceylance:** being with my family is draining my entire life force

**shayfromstatefarm:** i want to nap for 500 years

**kogayne:** my mom is being shady and muttering about chicago

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m considering locking my friend nolan in a closet

**mattata:** a-are u guys okay

**allurable:** literally what is happening

**takashmeoutside:** keith why is krolia muttering abt chicago

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** i asked and she goes “we don’t talk about chicago” i’m??

**kogayne:** i know i’m not getting an answer out of her so personally i’m more interested in why pidge wants to lock her friend in a closet

**carrierpidgeon:** he wants to lock sherrie and lacey in a closet so they can talk out their problems

**lanceylance:** wtf did he get that tip from huNK

**hunkerdunker:** THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO I APOLOGIZED ALREADY

**allurable:** i mean,, it worked out

**kogayne:** YEAH LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF LATER

**lanceylance:** although i quite enjoy where we are now :)

**kogayne:** ...yeah i can’t complain about that :)

**takashmeoutside:** okay anyway,

**lanceylance:** BOI

**kogayne:** BOI

**kogayne:** OH ALSO SHIRO I WON’T BE HOME ON SATURDAY

**takashmeoutside:** what

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh yeah

**lanceylance:** arus squad plus pidge got invited to a party :P

**takashmeoutside:** who’s hosting 

**hunkerdunker:** plaxum

**takashmeoutside:** plax like ariel plax

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** she’s hosting a party and we’re going

**lanceylance:** u can’t keep keith away from me fOREVER

**takashmeoutside:** yOU ARE LITERALLY PLANNING ON SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIVES TOGETHER LET ME HAVE A WEEK WITH MY BROTHER

**lanceylance:** hmm...when u put it that way...hmm fine

**kogayne:** wait where’s my say in this

**takashmeoutside:** BOI I RAISED U

**kogayne:** hmm...when u put it that way…

**takashmeoutside:** i can’t believe

**allurable:** i can

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** everyone’s asleep over here

**lanceylance:** same here

**lanceylance:** currently sneaking into the backyard, i’ll be in the treehouse eagerly awaiting ur arrival

**kogayne:** alright, i’ll be driving, keep talking if u want

**lanceylance:** bet

**lanceylance:** wow i feel so cool i feel like a spy

**lanceylance:** lance and keith, a couple of badasses driving from danger in the dead of night

**lanceylance:** this could only be improved if u had a motorcycle

**lanceylance:** dude what if we had spy code names

**lanceylance:** omg i’m gonna write us a spy story to go with our fantasy story bc it’s what we deserve

**lanceylance:** :O i’m gonna give it the neon cyberpunk aesthetic

**lanceylance:** :O YOU’RE HERE

**kogayne:** and you’re a fucking nerd

**lanceylance:** *your fucking nerd

**kogayne:** get down and get in the car wrethrethgdthdgh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway see y'all in the next one, whenever that is
> 
> also this is ending in 8 days LMAO BYE


	23. and the sound of screaming just gets louder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happened between the last chapter and this one: krolia, allura, and the blades set out to make their first moves, the arus squad continues prepping for college, pidge's friend group is still no closer to fixing their situation.
> 
> the sunday chapter: five days to move-in. everyone's panicking. no the author is not projecting what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** i had my windows open last night and it was nice and warm and humid when i went to bed and i woke up this morning freezing my ass off WHERE DID SUMMER GO

**kogayne:** i mean

**kogayne:** personally

**kogayne:** i’m glad the humidity is gone

**kogayne:** because now i can keep my windows open without dying or without having water condensing all over the vents

**lanceylance:** yes but have u considered: THIS IS THE LAST WEEK OF SUMMER

**lanceylance:** AND I HAD TO SLEEP ALONE

**kogayne:** ah i see you missed ur heater

**kogayne:** where was blue

**lanceylance:** oh blue was there but she was not enough 

**lanceylance:** i mean she is enough

**lanceylance:** BLUE IS A BEAUTIFUL CAT AND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD AND SHE IS ALWAYS GOOD ENOUGH

**lanceylance:** but i missed my little spoon  >:(

**kogayne:** was the sweatshirt you stole from my house when you came and picked me up yesterday not enough

**lanceylance:** DSFGRGFVFHDCGVGCHN YOU CAUGHT THAT

**kogayne:** yes?? it was kind of hard to miss

**kogayne:** you were cute trying to be slick tho :P

**lanceylance:** smh i gotta work harder then i guess

**lanceylance:** but to answer

**lanceylance:** ur sweatshirt was quite cozy and smelled just like u but it’s nowhere near as nice as having u in my arms

**kogayne:** alright well we’re five days away from an entire semester of cuddling to fall asleep i’m sure you can hold out

**lanceylance:** LMAO FIVE DAYS GONNA HAVE MY SECOND ANXIETY ATTACK OF THE DAY

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** your

**kogayne:** SECOND??

**lanceylance:** umm

**lanceylance:** yeah 2 AM was not a good time for me

**kogayne:** :( u didn’t call??

**lanceylance:** i figured i could get through it myself and i didn’t wanna disturb u 

**kogayne:** :((

**lanceylance:** just.

**lanceylance:** five days.

**lanceylance:** FIVE DAYS

**lanceylance:** OUR LIVES FUCKING CHANGE FOREVER IN 5 DAYS

**lanceylance:** like

**lanceylance:** every hour i flip between “i’m completely fine” and “i’m super pumped to finally be going to college” and “i am 2 seconds away from an anxious breakdown over my future”

**kogayne:** you’re not alone i’m the same

**kogayne:** part of this still doesn’t feel real

**kogayne:** like i feel like in a week and a half we’re just gonna be walking back into high school but?? we’ll already be like 3 days into classes at arus and i’m??

**lanceylance:** are we allowed to have nervous breakdowns at the same time

**lanceylance:** like will it cancel out like positive and negative integers or does it like, square our nervousness and make it worse

**kogayne:** oh my god you are stressed you’re talking in math metaphors

**lanceylance:** SHUT

**kogayne:** sorry 

**kogayne:** i’m just??

**kogayne:** wow i don’t like seeing u like this this is almost as bad as apush isn’t it

**lanceylance:** i don’t think anything will beat my breakdown junior year

**lanceylance:** actually i take that back i don’t wanna jinx things 

**kogayne:** :(( are u able to get away today

**lanceylance:** probably not? my mom’s jumping down my throat about packing so that’s what i’m spending the day doing

**kogayne:** hmm

**kogayne:** i’m gonna figure something out

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** SHUT

**carrierpidgeon:** and the sound of screaming just gets louder

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** HOW’S JAMES

**hunkerdunker:** HE HASN’T TALKED TO ME SINCE HE FIGURED OUT I’M FRIENDS WITH KEITH BEYOND “YEAH I BOUGHT X STUFF FOR THE DORM”

**kogayne:** oh my god seriously 

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT IF I START A GROUP TEXT BC I CAN’T HAVE MY ROOMMATE HATE ME ON THE FIRST DAY

**kogayne:** do it

**kogayne:** dO IT

**kogayne:** HAVE HIM ADD HIS FRIENDS TOO I WANNA SEE WHO HE HANGS OUT WITH

**takashmeoutside:** read: i wanna know how many people i potentially have to fight

**kogayne:** shut

**kogayne:** the fuck up

**takashmeoutside:** i’m not wrong tho

**kogayne:** shhh

**hunkerdunker:** wait so should i make a group chat with like

**hunkerdunker:** arus squad and him and then he can add his friends

**carrierpidgeon:** i am hurt

**hunkerdunker:** PIDGE I’M SORRY :((

**carrierpidgeon:** it’s alright i’ve got my own stuff to deal with

**carrierpidgeon:** however i do want screenshots of everything going down

**kogayne:** gotcha covered

**mattata:** why does that not alarm me as much as it should

**carrierpidgeon:** shh you saw nothing

**takashmeoutside:** you know what keith is a legal adult i’m not responsible for Anything

**allurable:** why is that the first text i opened the group chat to

**shayfromstatefarm:** scroll up

**allurable:** oh

**allurable:** you guys are scheming again

**allurable:** why am i not surprised

**mattata:** why are there so many unsurprising things in the group chat today

**lanceylance:** we’re all suffering with our looming move-in day deadline we don’t have the extra energy to put into being wild and unpredictable

**hunkerdunker:** anyway i’m gonna make the group chat

 

**_hunkerdunker_ ** _ added  _ **_jamesgriffindor_ ** _ , _ **_shayfromstatefarm_ ** _ ,  _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ , and  _ **_kogayne_ ** _ to  _ **_arus 2k22_ **

**hunkerdunker:** hi james pls add your friends

**jamesgriffindor:** how the hell did you know my friends were going to arus

**hunkerdunker:** i

**hunkerdunker:** uhhhhhhhh

**hunkerdunker:** lucky guess and i’m not being sarcastic

**jamesgriffindor:** >:/ hmm

**_jamesgriffindor_ ** _ added  _ **_leafydaughter_ ** _ ,  _ **_kinklemonade_ ** _ , and  _ **_aintevennad_ ** _ to  _ **_arus 2k22_ **

**jamesgriffindor:** ina leifsdottir, ryan kinkade, and nadia rizavi

**hunkerdunker:** oh cool

**hunkerdunker:** and these are my friends shay belu, lance mcclain, and keith kogane

**jamesgriffindor:** kogane.

**kogayne:** griffin.

**lanceylance:** RYAN??

**kinklemonade:** LANCE?? HUNK???

**kogayne:** what the

**jamesgriffindor:** wha

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m lost

**lanceylance:** WE WENT TO THE SAME ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BUT LOST TOUCH AFTER THAT

**hunkerdunker:** ...hOLY SHIT RYAN

**leafydaughter:** well this is interesting

**aintevennad:** well it certainly is

**jamesgriffindor:** can u not mimic each other for two minutes

**leafydaughter:** no

**aintevennad:** no fuck u

**shayfromstatefarm:** are they

**kinklemonade:** yes

**leafydaughter:** :D

**lanceylance:** !!!!! CONGRATS U FUNKY LITTLE LESBIANS

**lanceylance:** ...unless ur bi?? or pan??? ace—

**aintevennad:** nah ur spot-on broski

**jamesgriffindor:** ...what?

**aintevennad:** sorry he’s an ally but he’s not on with the memes

**lanceylance:** smh

**kinklemonade:** ikr

**jamesgriffindor:** I’M RIGHT HERE

**jamesgriffindor:** on that note...am i the only ally?

**shayfromstatefarm:** uhhh

**hunkerdunker:** uhh

**kogayne:** yep. 

**jamesgriffindor:** ...interesting…

**aintevennad:** we move in packs keep up jamie

**jamesgriffindor:** why do u insist on calling me that

**aintevennad:** because you haven’t shut it down yet

**aintevennad:** i think u like having a nickname that isn’t your last name

**jamesgriffindor:** you can’t prove anything

**hunkerdunker:** your username is a harry potter pun

**jamesgriffindor:** ...listen the series was iconic okay

**kogayne:** should i start house discourse

**hunkerdunker:** NO

**leafydaughter:** NO

**shayfromstatefarm:** NO

**jamesgriffindor:** NO

**kinklemonade:** NO

**aintevennad:** ...yes?

**lanceylance:** i’m intrigued

**hunkerdunker:** no you’ve been overruled majority rules

**kogayne:** >:P

**jamesgriffindor:** is he always like this

**kogayne:** first lotor, now you

**kogayne:** does anyone else wanna ask about my texting habits

**jamesgriffindor:** who tf is lotor

**aintevennad:** how late do y’all text bc uhhh i’m gonna be lookin for study buddies this year i don’t think ina can keep up before she crashes

**leafydaughter:** do you know how many all-nighters i pulled between the start of junior year and now? don’t mind her she’s lying.

**lanceylance:** what schools are you all in

**kinklemonade:** all of us are in the garrison school

**aintevennad:** aerospace engineering squad!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** I’M SERIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE HERE IN THE TAUJEER SCHOOL LMAO

**leafydaughter:** no i’m doing a double major across schools!! 

**leafydaughter:** my second major is in linguistics :)

**jamesgriffindor:** she thinks it’ll somehow help discover alien signals

**leafydaughter:** james doesn’t believe in aliens

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**kogayne:** i knew there was a reason i punched him in fifth grade

**kogayne:** i also almost sent this in the arus chat

**shayfromstatefarm:** i thought we established you punched him bc he said sensitive stuff abt ur family

**kogayne:** yeah that too

 

**_arus 2k22_ **

**kogayne:** he doesn’t what :)

**jamesgriffindor:** oh god, you too??? alien believer????

**kogayne:** :)))))

**jamesgriffindor:** why the fuck

**kogayne:** :) let me live :)

**hunkerdunker:** okay anyway i’m gonna get back to packing

**lanceylance:** oh wow look at that my mom needs me gotta go—

**kinklemonade:** wow...look at the time...whoops bye

**leafydaughter:** if everyone’s pretending they suddenly have to go i suppose i’ll show myself out

**aintevennad:** ...LMAO BYE

**shayfromstatefarm:** okay if the chat is dying i’ll go too bye

**jamesgriffindor:** >:/

**kogayne:** bye.

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**kogayne:** I’M SORRY I STILL HATE HIM SFDBHDFHFGHNFG

**hunkerdunker:** we’re gonna have to get together on campus and make you talk this out face-to-face

**kogayne:** or, a novel idea, switch roommates

**lanceylance:** i wonder who ryan’s with

**lanceylance:** you’d think if he’s friends with james they’d try to room together or something

**shayfromstatefarm:** are we even allowed to switch roommates

**kogayne:** i think we’re allowed 2 weeks into the semester?? not sure but there’s gotta be some policy in place

**hunkerdunker:** okay but consider: if you two apologize and let the PAST GO then we don’t need to figure out roommate switch stuff

**kogayne:** hmmm 

**lanceylance:** i mean, james /did/ poke at like,,, the One Place he shouldn’t have

**lanceylance:** but also...it was like 7 years ago

**kogayne:** fine. on campus i’ll talk to him.

**hunkerdunker:** good

**hunkerdunker:** it’s college, a time all of us can start new and only like a small handful of people know us

**kogayne:** ...u make a valid point

**lanceylance:** new year new us uwu

**shayfromstatefarm:** it’s not january heathen

**lanceylance:** N E W  Y E A R N E W  U S U W U

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT’S NOT WINTER

**lanceylance:** DID I FUCKING STUTTER

**kogayne:** alright demons settle down

**lanceylance:** shut up shane

**kogayne:** I’M RYAN

**hunkerdunker:** no ryan’s not in this group chat

**kogayne:** i’m

**lanceylance:** DFGHFGJGHJMGHMGH

**hunkerdunker:** okay anyway i’m gonna go pack for real

**shayfromstatefarm:** same

**lanceylance:** i probably should too

**kogayne:** yep

 

**_secret society_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so are we not doing a sleepover then

**rollinnolan:** no but i have an even better idea

**summertime:** oh no

**rollinnolan:** y’all signed up for link crew right

**carrierpidgeon:** ...I FORGOT I SIGNED UP FOR LINK CREW

**emandem:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** THAT’S THURSDAY AND FRIDAY ISN’T IT

**emandem:** LMAO ISN’T THAT WHEN THE OTHERS MOVE INTO ARUS

**carrierpidgeon:** YEAH I CAN’T SEE THEM OFF WHOOPS

**carrierpidgeon:** hmm now i need to find a time to tell them

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway i guess we’re all doing link??

**rollinnolan:** yes and i distinctly remember: sherrie and lacey are too

**rollinnolan:** and i’ve heard from past members that link crew kids must pair up for freshmen tours on friday

**summertime:** how do we force them to pair up

**rollinnolan:** we’re their only other friends

**emandem:** i mean if they’re desperate enough to stay away from each other they’ll find another group but

**emandem:** this also gives me more of an excuse to partner w pidge :)

**summertime:** we expected that already u didn’t need another excuse

**emandem:** well now i have one

**emandem:** uwu

**carrierpidgeon:** ,, anyway

**emandem:** HOW DARE

**summertime:** ANYWAY

**summertime:** what are we gonna do? just be petty during training on thursday and make them talk to each other?

**rollinnolan:** ,, , well,

**carrierpidgeon:** we’re still their friends, isn’t that kinda mean???

**emandem:** yeah

**rollinnolan:** ...we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it but the point is THEY AGREED TO STILL BE FRIENDS WE NEED TO GET THEM TALKING AGAIN

**summertime:** fair point

**emandem:** ^^

**carrierpidgeon:** i concede

 

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**allurable:** why is legal bullshit stressfuuuuuuuuuuuul

**mattata:** ?????

**carrierpidgeon:** ohh

**carrierpidgeon:** how’s that whole case going

**allurable:** krolia’s handling most of it

**allurable:** things don’t officially start until sometime in september but  w o w paperwork is a bitch

**allurable:** and we’re already considering witness testimony

**kogayne:** yeah i’ll be half an hour away and i never want to see zarkon again

**kogayne:** if ur desperate we can skype but uh No Thanks

**allurable:** i hope it won’t come to needing you but it’s This Town so you never know

**lanceylance:** :(( make sure ur takin care of urself

**lanceylance:** sleeping properly, eating enough, drinking enough water, facemasks,

**hunkerdunker:** i’m not sure dacemasks are an essential part of self-care

**lanceylance:** >:O YOU TAKE THAT BACK THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT

**kogayne:** ^^ facemasks are really relaxing tbh

**hunkerdunker:** oh no he gOT TO YOU TOO

**kogayne:** he’s my fiancé

**kogayne:** did u just assume i was going to survive this relationship without ever doing facemasks

**carrierpidgeon:** “survive”

**lanceylance:** alright u overdramatic fucker

**kogayne:** says the kid who was in the drama club

**allurable:** every single one of us was in the drama club

**kogayne:** but he was cast not crew

**lanceylance:** and now i’m missing the drama club keith how dare u

**shayfromstatefarm:** me too :((

**allurable:** what poor unfortunate souls

**allurable:** in pain

**allurable:** in need

**lanceylance:** SHUT

**shayfromstatefarm:** THE FUCK UP

**takashmeoutside:** you guys realize you can just join the drama club at arus right

**takashmeoutside:** you know u don’t need to be in the fine arts school to do that right

**kogayne:** [whistles in fine arts second major]

**takashmeoutside:** unless you’re keith

**lanceylance:** but if all of us are double majoring are we truly going to have the time to do theater

**mattata:** get involved!!

**mattata:** do exactly what you did in high school: join too many clubs and go down screaming with all of the other kids who decided to do the same thing!!

**takashmeoutside:** we’re supposed to be giving them good advice

**mattata:** no fuck that

**allurable:** you guys are gonna be fine if u just learn how to manage ur time

**takashmeoutside:** read: do not use the same time management methods u did in high school

**lanceylance:** [squints] are we being called out

**carrierpidgeon:** yes

**hunkerdunker:** i think we are

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** how are u feeling compared to this morning

**lanceylance:** ,, ,, i don’t know

**lanceylance:** still incredibly nervous i guess??

**lanceylance:** the anxiety’s still there but it’s like

**lanceylance:** asleep. waiting.

**kogayne:** alright that’s it

**kogayne:** i’m kidnapping you

**lanceylance:** i don’t think it’s considered kidnapping if you warn me ahead of time and you have my consent

**kogayne:** well anyway i’m kidnapping you

**lanceylance:** alrighty then where are we going

**kogayne:** long walk on the beach sound nice?

**lanceylance:** i fucking love you

**kogayne:** :) love you too

**kogayne:** be there in 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway like i said this is the sunday chapter, imma try and write a tuesday chapter, then i'm gonna write a thursday chapter, or i might do a combined thursday/friday chapter.
> 
> that'll be the last update.
> 
> IN THE MEANTIME  
> -i've finished plotting out my fix-it fic (for the third time) so imma start working on writing that, so uh,,, consider subscribing to me? idk  
> -if you wanna keep up with me, hit up my [twitter](https://twitter.com/nerdyspaceace) (extremely active, i'm on like 24/7), [tumblr](http://nerdyspaceace.tumblr.com/) (i only just started using this again, semi-active), or [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/nerdyspaceace/) (semi-active, i try and post daily/several times a week)  
> -[join my voltron discord](https://discord.gg/5XEQTbZ) (there's always someone online but certain times are more active than others)
> 
> alright see y'all in the next chapter


	24. can u fuckin pack for college maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> non-existent monday chapter: the usual shenanigans
> 
> tuesday summary: can these guys fuckin pack for college maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "take ur own fuckin advice maybe" -beatrice to me, reading the chapter title, probably
> 
> anyway
> 
> the penultimate chapter
> 
> this one's kinda short but the next one (read: the LAST ONE will probably be long, so [shrug])

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**lanceylance:** hey can we do something this week as a squad

**lanceylance:** like one last time before half of us yeet out

**hunkerdunker:** rELAX HAVE A DRINK WITH ME ONE LAST TIIIIIME—

**lanceylance:** LET’S TAKE A BREAK TONIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** AND THEN WE’LL TEACH THEM HOW TO SAY GOODBYE

**kogayne:** TO SAY GOODBYE

**shayfromstatefarm:** YOU AND IIIIIIII

**takashmeoutside:** are you guys okay

**allurable:** they’re all singing hamilton together and no one complained

**allurable:** NO THEY’RE NOT OKAY

**mattata:** if they’re all washington in this scenario is pidge hamilton, having their wisdom passed onto her

**carrierpidgeon:** MATT STOP I WAS HAVING A GOOD DAY

**allurable:** MATT ERGTRHFGHFNHT

**lanceylance:** GEORGE WASHINGTON’S GOING HOOOOOOOOOOOME

**hunkerdunker:** lance are you crying by any chance

**lanceylance:** ...are you

**hunkerdunker:** i asked you first

**lanceylance:** i asked you second

**hunkerdunker:** maybe

**lanceylance:** wow what a coincidence, perhaps i am at target hiding out in a rack of shirts to dry my eyes

**mattata:** :O YOU’RE HERE

**takashmeoutside:** if only i had a shift today smh

**kogayne:** shiro can we go to target—

**takashmeoutside:** keith PLEASE finish packing

**kogayne:** what if i need stuff

**lanceylance:** as much as i would love to see ur face i gotchu bby

**takashmeoutside:** see there ya go lance has u covered

**kogayne:** lance that was my one excuse

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** anyway can we go back to my original question

**allurable:** i mean i’m down for doing something

**hunkerdunker:** i’m thinking one final group diner run on thursday night

**lanceylance:** are u trying to emotionally murder me

**hunkerdunker:** bang bang bitch

**lanceylance:** i’M WOUNDED

**carrierpidgeon:** MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

**lanceylance:** I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS

**takashmeoutside:** it’s too early for this

**takashmeoutside:** suddenly i can’t read anymore, i don’t know

**kogayne:** why is everyone memeing and why won’t shiro let me out of the house

**takashmeoutside:** it’s for your OWN GOOD KEITH

**lanceylance:** and in this installment of PRINCE LANCEYLANCE AND THE BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE,

**carrierpidgeon:** oh god

**shayfromstatefarm:** here we go

**lanceylance:** PRINCE LANCEYLANCE has had a bounty placed on his head. For his own safety, the king has ordered him confined to the castle, leaving him restless and longing for adventure. His dearest BRAVE KNIGHT KOGANE, in a selfless move, comes up with a plan to swap places. The prince, feigning illness, hides in his room all day, where he and the knight switch clothes. The prince, donning a knight’s armor and mask, frolics through the city, while the knight paces in his room, hoping his prince is alright. 

**carrierpidgeon:** oh my god he’s typing again

**kogayne:** LANCE TRHFYHJGJ

**hunkerdunker:** i feel like he puts more thoughts into this fantasy story of his than he ever put toward his calc homework

**lanceylance:** number one SHUT

**lanceylance:** number two

**lanceylance:** HOWEVER, a horrible spell befalls the castle and all of its people! Prince Lanceylance, wearing the armor of the Brave Knight Kogane, must race against time to save his lover and his kingdom before it’s too late!

**kogayne:** does this mean you’ll sneak over and come get me oUT OF HERE

**takashmeoutside:** i am RIGHT HERE

**lanceylance:** if i wasn’t my mom’s ride to target i would

**hunkerdunker:** are u running errands with ur mom

**lanceylance:** SHUT UP WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT

**allurable:** oooh what’s this

**mattata:** OWO

**kogayne:** IS IT AN EMBARRASSING LANCE STORY

**hunkerdunker:** i mean i wouldn’t call it embarrassing…

[ _ (1) link _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJ4FWWnqrvU) _ from  _ **_hunkerdunker_ **

**hunkerdunker:** but back on his youtube channel in 7th grade he wrote this song and posted it

**lanceylance:** YOU FUCKING TRAITOR

**kogayne:** WRSDHTYJGYNJH

**kogayne:** I FOUND MY NEW FAVORITE SONG

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna crawl in a ditch and die now

**kogayne:** PLAY THIS AT OUR WEDDING

**lanceylance:** SHUT UR FUCK

**carrierpidgeon:** am i in charge of the playlist

**lanceylance:** NO

**kogayne:** YES

**carrierpidgeon:** huehuehuehuehuehue

**mattata:** hey lance

**lanceylance:** dON’T

**mattata:** UR RUNNIN ERRANDS WITH UR MOM ERRANDS WITH UR MOM

**lanceylance:** every single one of you is dead to me

**kogayne:** bet already dead inside—

**takashmeoutside:** THE SCHOOL YEAR HASN’T EVEN STARTED

**kogayne:** bold of u to assume i need it to be the school year to feel this way

**takashmeoutside:** i would say “i’m gonna murder you” but you’d be like “bet”

**kogayne:** i read it in the ryan bergara voice from the goatman episode

**carrierpidgeon:** which surprises absolutely no one

**takashmeoutside:** that’s a shame bc i’m a shaniac

**kogayne:** ...THE NEWEST EPISODE OF BUZZFEED UNSOLVED IS GONNA DROP ON MOVE-IN DAY

**lanceylance:** oh my god keith we can cuddle and watch it rlly late bc we won’t have other roommates to disturb

**shayfromstatefarm:** was the cuddling mention necessary

**lanceylance:** absolutely 

**lanceylance:** keith is fun to cuddle with he’s all soft

**shayfromstatefarm:** We Don’t Need This Imagery

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** ur all soft and then u get sleepy and u get really clingy and ur all warm and u like it when i play with ur hair and u get all touchy and wow

**kogayne:** DFGHRDHDGTFNHJGF SHUT

**kogayne:** WE CAN’T CUDDLE TILL FRIDAY NIGHT IF I CAN’T ESCAPE

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna keep doing this then

**lanceylance:** make u cuddle-horny

**kogayne:** CUDDLE /WHAT/

**lanceylance:** yknow cuddle-horny

**lanceylance:** ur horny but for like,, cuddles

**kogayne:** u couldn’t have said excited or touch-starved or ANYTHING OTHER THAN HORNY

**lanceylance:** i could’ve done it in the main gc

**lanceylance:** i could still do it in the main gc—

**kogayne:** u little shit

**lanceylance:** u love this little shit :3

**kogayne:** why are we together

**lanceylance:** bc u loooove me uwu

**kogayne:** stop being cute this instant

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** also do u need hair ties

**kogayne:** wh

**kogayne:** ??? idk why??

**lanceylance:** bc i’m standing in front of the hair ties right now and i need to know if u want or need any

**kogayne:** uhh grab a pack of the black ones?? the skinny ones???

**lanceylance:** and not the thicc ones—

**kogayne:** erdhtrtjntd SHUT

**lanceylance:** are u cutting ur hair before we go

**kogayne:** WHY ALL THE QUESTIONS ABOUT MY HAIR

**lanceylance:** bc i love ur hair number one number two are u growing it out or chopping it back down to neck length bc that shit’s pretty much at ur shoulders

**lanceylance:** truly a mulletman now

**kogayne:** i dunno, i might cut it a couple inches? i might let it grow?

**lanceylance:** LET IT GROW, LET IT GROWWW

**kogayne:** i

**kogayne:** why

**lanceylance:** >;3c

**lanceylance:** is it long enough to braid

**kogayne:** ...potentially?

**lanceylance:** CAN I FIND OUT

**kogayne:** does this deal come with cuddles

**lanceylance:** cuddles are always an option with my deals of course

**kogayne:** fine do i have to wait till friday orr

**lanceylance:** alright so how about tomorrow we convince shiro and my mom to have us meet up, go over our shit, and then we can take thursday to do last-minute organizing and shopping

**lanceylance:** which means tomorrow i can come over and braid ur hair and we cuddle

**kogayne:** excellent

**kogayne:** we can put on a movie and take a nap together when we finish compiling our stuff

**lanceylance:** beautiful

**lanceylance:** love my little spoon

**kogayne:** keep this up and i will become a knife

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**kogayne:** BOI

**lanceylance:** anyways

**lanceylance:** anything else u need while i’m here

**kogayne:** not that i can think of

**lanceylance:** okie doke then i’ll just grab anything if i think u might need it ;)

**kogayne:** i don’t even wanna know what that winky face means

**lanceylance:** ;DDDD

 

**_arus 2k22_ **

**aintevennad:** has anyone actually packed yet

**shayfromstatefarm:** y-you...you haven’t started?

**aintevennad:** uh

**leafydaughter:** dia we TALKED ABOUT THIS

**kogayne:** i’m tempted to show this to my cousin to show him i’m not the only one

**jamesgriffindor:** why are all of you slacking

**leafydaughter:** all of us?

**hunkerdunker:** i’m perfectly on track

**kinklemonade:** i’ve been packed for three days

**shayfromstatefarm:** i’m almost done

**aintevennad:** sorry i’m a disaster lesbian :P

**kogayne:** disaster gay

**lanceylance:** ...i’m out shopping can i be the functional bi

**kogayne:** no

**hunkerdunker:** pls stop pretending ur functional

**shayfromstatefarm:** ur with keith ur both disasters

**jamesgriffindor:** those two are together?

**lanceylance:** YES 

**lanceylance:** as a matter of fact

_ (1) photo from  _ **_lanceylance_ **

**lanceylance:** that’s my fuckin fiancé

**kinklemonade:** your what

**lanceylance:** my better half, my heart, my soulmate, my favorite person, i could keep going

**kogayne:** rdhtfgjghjmjgmkgjm

**leafydaughter:** and they were fiancés!

**aintevennad:** /oh my god they were fiancés/

**lanceylance:** “were” uhhh u better be texting from the future after our wedding bc that’s the only way we’re becoming not-fiancés

**kinklemonade:** how long have u two been together??

**lanceylance:** 2 years 3 months and 17 days :)

**kogayne:** :)

**lanceylance:** if anything happened to him i’d kill everyone in this group chat and then myself

**aintevennad:** wait i just did the math

**aintevennad:** you two got together on star wars day

**hunkerdunker:** they’re both space nerds

**lanceylance:** he says, as if he and shay didn’t help set us up

**hunkerdunker:** easily the worst decision i’ve ever made

**lanceylance:** shut ur fuck

**shayfromstatefarm:** (hunk is a liar shh he was excited to see them get together)

**kogayne:** i was also excited to see myself get together with lance

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O he’s being soft out loud

**leafydaughter:** this is so pure

**lanceylance:** okay but u know what else was pure? the day hunk got w shay like, right before school started sophomore year

**aintevennad:** WAIT THOSE TWO ARE DATING TOO

**shayfromstatefarm:** yeah!!

**kinklemonade:** and longer than keith and lance...but keith and lance are the engaged ones

**kogayne:** every relationship is different ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**jamesgriffindor:** ...huh. interesting.

**lanceylance:** does anyone want me to spam photos of keith

**kogayne:** dfhfgnghmghm

**jamesgriffindor:** pass

**kinklemonade:** i’m good

**leafydaughter:** u don’t have to

**aintevennad:** mmm nah 

**hunkerdunker:** l a n c e

**shayfromstatefarm:** lmfao

**lanceylance:** >:((( you all deserve to know how cute he is but fINE I GUESS

**kogayne:** how much sleep did u get last night

**lanceylance:** uhh

**kogayne:** well that explains things

 

**_secret society_ **

**rollinnolan:** two days until ALL IS REVEALED

**summertime:** do u gotta sound so dramatic abt it

**rollinnolan:** yes of course

**carrierpidgeon:** ugh can it be over already can they just be friends again

**emandem:** has anyone heard from either of them

**rollinnolan:** that would be a no

**summertime:** negatory

**carrierpidgeon:** nope

**emandem:** greeaaaaat

**rollinnolan:** can u imagine we just walk into link crew on thursday and they’re like

**rollinnolan:** back together

**emandem:** as much of a miracle as that would be, i doubt it

**summertime:** u said urself u talked to lacey, u know exactly how she feels abt a relationship w sherrie rn

**carrierpidgeon:** yep

**carrierpidgeon:** this suuuuuuuuuuuucks

**summertime:** what if they expect us to choose between the two of them this year

**summertime:** like if being in the same friend group gets to be too much

**emandem:** nooo :((( we can’t just shut out one or the other but i can’t stop being friends with u guys :((((

**carrierpidgeon:** we gotta figure this out

**carrierpidgeon:** that’s it after link crew thursday y’all are coming over

**carrierpidgeon:** i’ve got plans at night but my afternoon is free

**emandem:** WOOOO MORE GIRLFRIEND TIME

**summertime:** oh god

**rollinnolan:** WOOOOO MORE SUPPORTING MY CUTE-ASS FRIENDS

**carrierpidgeon:** u either die a nolan or live long enough to become a summer

**summertime:** WELL ALRIGHT THEN

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** the maternal unit cleared it what about shiro

**kogayne:** he’s cool with it as long as we don’t “waste time”

**lanceylance:** excuse me time with u is never a waste

**kogayne:** that’s what i told him and he gave me the dad look™ so i think he and i have different views on what constitutes being productive

**lanceylance:** >:((( 

**lanceylance:** hmm well i can’t change his mind and we’ve only got three days so at this point it’s a futile quest

**lanceylance:** guess that means i won’t be seeing u till tomorrow

**kogayne:** what, u think i won’t sneak out tonight? heck i’ll climb out the window right now—

**lanceylance:** hmm oh really?

**kogayne:** try me starboy

**lanceylance:** you, me, the park at 1 AM

**kogayne:** bet i’ll pick u up at 12:55

**kogayne:** see u then 

**lanceylance:** see u then

**lanceylance:** love u  <3

**kogayne:** love u too  <33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...welp, see y'all thursday for the anticlimactic finale (it'll be almost as disappointing as season 7 ;D [finger-guns])


	25. the final day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squad's last day in town before college

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i meant to have this up thursday night but as it is it's saturday and i'm sitting in my dorm finishing this
> 
> **trigger warning for mentioned panic attack**

**_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ **

**_lanceylance_ ** _ renamed  _ **_COLLEGE STARTS THIS MONTH_ ** _ to  _ **_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**lanceylance:** GUESS WHO JUST HAD A PANIC ATTACK AT 2 AMMMM

**lanceylance:** THIS KIDDD

**lanceylance:** /GUESS WHO STILL HAS PACKING LEFT TO DO/

**lanceylance:** /THIS KIDDD!!!!!/

**lanceylance:** IS ANYONE AWAKE

**lanceylance:** BLS THERE’S GOTTA BE SOMEONE LURKING

**carrierpidgeon:** o shit

**carrierpidgeon:** i just looked at my phone are u okay

**lanceylance:** WHY ARE /U/ LURKING U GOTTA BE SOMEWHERE IN THE MORNING

**carrierpidgeon:** bc i don’t sleep

**lanceylance:** THAT’S NOT HEALTHY

**carrierpidgeon:** okay ur one to talk

**carrierpidgeon:** anyway what’s up dude

**carrierpidgeon:** u wanna vent privately or

**lanceylance:** i’d rather just scream in the gc my reputation’s been out the window for a while now anyway

**carrierpidgeon:** u mostly calmed down?

**lanceylance:** ye

**lanceylance:** i sat in bed and pet...petted…??? blue for like 20 minutes

**lanceylance:** bUT I WAS FREAKING OUT

**carrierpidgeon:** y tho

**carrierpidgeon:** ur apps are done, u got accepted, ur roomin with ur fiancé,,, 

**lanceylance:** bEcAuSe

**lanceylance:** okay listen imma tell u a story

**carrierpidgeon:** oh boy a bedtime story

**lanceylance:** yes a bedtime story

**lanceylance:** u all tucked in?? got some stuffed animals???? had ur water?????? brushed ur teeth???????? did the nightly pee?????????

**carrierpidgeon:** WHY IS THAT A NECESSARY QUESTION

**lanceylance:** moving on,

**carrierpidgeon:** omfg

**lanceylance:** I SAID MOVING ON,

**lanceylance:** when i was little

**lanceylance:** younger than u, sweet child

**carrierpidgeon:** i’M nOt A cHiLd I’m SiXtEeN

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** back when ol lancey was a tiny child

**lanceylance:** and all his biggest siblings like hugo and emely were off at college

**lanceylance:** they came back home sounding like they had the time of their lives

**lanceylance:** “wow freedom~! i can do whatever i want!!! look at me partying all night w these randos!!”

**lanceylance:** nOBODY MENTIONED STUDENT DEBT OR THE STRESS OF PACKING OR THE STRESS OF CLASSES OR THE SHEER FACT THAT I’M GOING TO FLUNK OUT

**lanceylance:** i mean, even when luis and marco and v and alejandro headed to college like??? tHEY DIDN’T MENTION THIS SHIT

**lanceylance:** then again they’re not the Highest of achievers

**lanceylance:** well okay in the punny sense yes i think they are but ANYWAY

**lanceylance:** NO ONE WARNED ME ABT THIS SHIT

**carrierpidgeon:** :((( what do u mean flunk dude

**lanceylance:** I’M GOING INTO A MAJOR WITH CALC AND PHYSICS AND I SUCK IN BOTH OF THOSE CLASSES AND??? I’M NOT. GOOD. AT. SCHOOL.

**lanceylance:** I LEGITIMATELY DO NOT KNOW HOW I WAS TOP 20. I THINK I HIT A BRICK WALL AFTER SOPHOMORE YEAR.

**lanceylance:** and it’s not just some random college it’s ARUS it’s been my dream school for years and i feel like such a fraud getting in??? i was like 85% sure they were gonna reject me

**carrierpidgeon:** >:((( lance ur so fuckin smart what the fuck

**carrierpidgeon:** ur gonna do GREAT u don’t quit when things get tough u get spiteful and idk abt ur feelings but spite is some GREAT fuel

**carrierpidgeon:** u don’t gotta be ~the smartest~

**carrierpidgeon:** u got ur squad and the rest of us are only a half hour drive away

**carrierpidgeon:** ur gonna do amazing, u hear me??

**lanceylance:** aww :’) you’re being nice to me i like this alternate reality

**carrierpidgeon:** ur my fucking friend of course i’m gonna be nice to u

**carrierpidgeon:** get some sleep, dude

**carrierpidgeon:** long days ahead of u

**lanceylance:** alright fine but u go to bed too, u have shit to do in the morning too

**carrierpidgeon:** fine

**carrierpidgeon:** night broski

**lanceylance:** night pidge

**lanceylance:** and thanks

**carrierpidgeon:** any time

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** i just woke up and read through the gc

_ (3) links from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** here are some vine compilations from like 3 years ago

**kogayne:** u doin okay this morning

**lanceylance:** i guess

**lanceylance:** i’m almost done packing and my mom’s already cried twice and it’s not even move-in day yet

**lanceylance:** idk how i’m gonna be able to handle move-in day

**kogayne:** we’re all gonna cry on move-in day, i think that’s like, expected

**kogayne:** we’re stepping into the next phase of our lives i mean like??? 

**kogayne:** okay alright keith stop talking

**lanceylance:** :(( babe :((((

**kogayne:** oh god how are we gonna do this

**lanceylance:** oh nononono don’t u start panicking on me i’ll sic pidge on u

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** TOO LATE PANIC MODE ACTIVATED

**lanceylance:** I CHIMED IN WITH A HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF—

**kogayne:** u little SHIT

**lanceylance:** I LOVE YOU

**kogayne:** I LOVE YOU TOO

**lanceylance:** oh my god don’t we have the diner with the squad tonight

**kogayne:** ...final...diner...run...kejsjdndnene FINAL DINER RUN

**lanceylance:** FINAL DINER RUN

**kogayne:** now i miss the drama club’s friday diner nights :(

**lanceylance:** stoooooop oh my god i’m getting nostalgic and emotional i can’t

**kogayne:** :((((((

**lanceylance:** >:’((((((((((

**kogayne:** do we know how we’re coordinating rides for the diner 

**lanceylance:** no

**lanceylance:** we should probably ask in the gc…?

**kogayne:** welp

 

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**kogayne:** good morning how are we doing rides for the diner

**hunkerdunker:** 1) lance i just wanna address last night, ur gonna do so well in college buddy, ur a lot smarter than u give urself credit for and ur adaptable ur gonna have no problem fitting in i guarantee it

**hunkerdunker:** 2) u know what, u two, shay, and pidge are coming with me in the minivan 

**mattata:** lance ily

**mattata:** also shiro, allura, ur coming with me no ifs ands or buts about it

**allurable:** LANCE!!! ur gonna do so well!!! it’s scary moving in but ur gonna find everything’s gonna be just fine

**allurable:** and matt? awesome

**takashmeoutside:** i get shotgun

**takashmeoutside:** and allura and hunk pretty much summed it up, but lance, you’ve got greatness inside u, ur gonna do fine

**shayfromstatefarm:** lance, ur gonna be okay, u have ur friends dude 

**shayfromstatefarm:** and i get shotgun in the minivan

**kogayne:** lance and i get the back seat

**carrierpidgeon:** i’m so loneeeelyyyy

**lanceylance:** tragic

**carrierpidgeon:** b o i 

**lanceylance:** i’m jk do u wanna sit in the back w us

**carrierpidgeon:** no, u fiancés have fun snuggling and making out 

**lanceylance:** stop exposing us

**carrierpidgeon:** no, it’s my duty 

**allurable:** amazing

**lanceylance:** i try to be nice,

**carrierpidgeon:** t r a g i c

**lanceylance:** matt come get ur sister

**mattata:** no she’s pefectly capable of being a gremlin without my assistance

**carrierpidgeon:** >:)

**lanceylance:** and i feel betrayal in this chilis tonight

**hunkerdunker:** we’re not eating at chilis we’re going to the diner

**kogayne:** it’s 11 AM

**lanceylance:** AND I FEEL BETRAYAL IN THIS HOUSE THIS MORNING

**kogayne:** i’m not in ur house

**shayfromstatefarm:** why are there so many people in ur house

**lanceylance:** u little shitheads

**hunkerdunker:** IT’S SHUH THEED

**lanceylance:** YOU’RE ALL MEMEING AT THE MEMER THIS IS UTTER BETRAYAL OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER

**kogayne:** we do it bc we love u and i know ur acting offended but ur smiling at ur phone screen :)

**lanceylance:** u shut ur fuck

**kogayne:** YOU CAN’T COVER UP THE TRUTH, LANCE

**mattata:** i thoutht i was the imperious lord memer

**lanceylance:** thoutht

**kogayne:** thoutht

**allurable:** thoutht

**carrierpidgeon:** t h o u t h t

**mattata:** okay i see how it is just turn the tables on ol matey

**carrierpidgeon:** arrr ur gonna get sun poisoning bc ur already gettin bURNED SAILOR

**mattata:** matty* fUCK

**kogayne:** matty

**mattata:** i was being ironic leave me alone

**kogayne:** no i distinctly remember hearing that name as a young child and it’s bringing up unfortunate memories

**mattata:** ,, , , ,wati

**carrierpidgeon:** wati

**allurable:** wati

**takashmeoutside:** wati

**kogayne:** IT WAS SHIRO

**kogayne:** oh my god bleach my mind

**lanceylance:** , ,,,, , ,, ,, did he call matt matty

**kogayne:** yeah the same way fruit rollup called me keithy

**shayfromstatefarm:** wait is that the reason lance doesn’t call u that

**lanceylance:** yep

**kogayne:** very uncomfortable

**kogayne:** matty just makes me uncomfortable for a different reason

**takashmeoutside:** wait

**kogayne:** i walked in on him and shiro being gross and shiro was calling him that

**kogayne:** not like they were fucking but

**carrierpidgeon:** listen i’ve seen u and lance being gross how bad could it have been

**kogayne:** okay at the time it was gross to me bc little keith didn’t know how to enjoy affection

**kogayne:** little keith’s perception of the situation has permanently altered how big keith thinks about it

**takashmeoutside:** little keith should not have been snooping

**kogayne:** both little keith and big keith were investigators and shall be treated as such

**carrierpidgeon:** little keith corrupted little pidge

**mattata:** little keith ain’t getting forgiven for that

**carrierpidgeon:** little matt corrupted little pidge too

**kogayne:** well in that case little takashi corrupted little keith too

**takashmeoutside:** yeah because little keith kept snooping on him

**allurable:** wow i love (2) sibling duos

**kogayne:** you love (2) /halves/ of sibling duos

**allurable:** no i love u and pidge i love my pseudo-siblings

**lanceylance:** :((( what about me and hunk

**allurable:** ur my faves tho

**hunkerdunker:** >:D

**kogayne:** WOW ALLURA

 

**_secret society_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** so.

**rollinnolan:** i. did not see that coming

**emandem:** she’s. really not coming back

**summertime:** WHY ARE ALL OF YOU USING PERIODS AFTER THE FIRST WORDS OF YOUR TEXTS

**emandem:** for. the dramatic effect

**summertime:** TEXT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE

**carrierpidgeon:** no. fuck you

**carrierpidgeon:** so. anyway...do we make a new group chat for us with sherrie?

**rollinnolan:** that’s. gonna be so fucking weird to not have lacey there

**emandem:** y’all. realize that that’s probably the reason she broke up w sherrie right

**emandem:** make. it hurt less when she moved

**carrierpidgeon:** i. think it had the opposite effect, sherrie looked dead inside

**summertime:** okay now you fuckers are just doing the period on purpose

**carrierpidgeon:** i. never do periods on purpose, why would i want that pain

**summertime:** I MEANT THE PUNCTUATION MARK AND YOU KNOW IT

**carrierpidgeon:** i. have no idea what you’re talking about

**summertime:** i’m making a new group chat with sherrie bc you all are clearly too busy being sassy to do it urselves

**emandem:** do. neither you nor pidge remember that lacey left our other gc

**emandem:** and. we don’t need to make a new one

**summertime:** shit i did not remember

 

**_squad up_ **

**_summertime_ ** _ renamed  _ **_squad up_ ** _ to  _ **_class of 2k20_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** “two kay twenty” sounds weirder than “twenty twenty”

**_carrierpidgeon_ ** _ renamed  _ **_class of 2k20_ ** _ to  _ **_class of 2020_ **

**aglassofsherrie:** much better

**emandem:** how u feelin boo

**aglassofsherrie:** better ish?? i guess???? lowkey glad i didn’t need to see her today,,, and won’t need to see her again for a while

**carrierpidgeon:** at least u have that consolation

**aglassofsherrie:** actually statistically chances are i’ll never see her again if she’s moved halfway across the us

**rollinnolan:** ah yes, out into the middle of bumblefuck nowhere

**rollinnolan:** but forreal sherrie if u need us we gotchu

**rollinnolan:** no one’s getting left behind

**aglassofsherrie:** thanks guys :)

**aglassofsherrie:** glad i have u all

**carrierpidgeon:** and we’re glad ur here

**emandem:** we LOVE UUUU

**summertime:** <3333333

**aglassofsherrie:** <33333333

 

**_H(ell)igh School_ **

**_hunkerdunker_ ** _ renamed  _ **_H(ell)igh School_ ** _ to  _ **_The Fab Five_ **

**hunkerdunker:** okay so

**hunkerdunker:** after the diner i’m kidnapping you five and we’re gonna go fuck around on the beach and the park next to it

**lanceylance:** we have,,, ,,   ,, , to go home and pack up our cars for tomorrow

**hunkerdunker:** yeah i know and you know what? ending summer with a bang with my friends

**hunkerdunker:** fuck sleep

**carrierpidgeon:** WE DID IT BOIS

**carrierpidgeon:** WE FINALLY CORRUPTED HIM

**carrierpidgeon:** WE CORRUPTED HUNK GARRETT

**hunkerdunker:** umm i could’ve always been like this u never know

**carrierpidgeon:** but u weren’t 

**lanceylance:** but u weren’t

**lanceylance:** DRIFT

**carrierpidgeon:** d r i f t

**kogayne:** it’s weird to see lance drifting with pidge 

**kogayne:** the simulation is broken

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’re the meme team

**lanceylance:** ^^!!! i love drifting with pidge

**lanceylance:** the little sister i never had

**carrierpidgeon:** :) I LOVE U TOO LANCE

**kogayne:** clara???

**kogayne:** are u saying pidge is more like ur little sister than ur literal niece

**lanceylance:** yes

**lanceylance:** i can’t meme with her she’s too little for that

**lanceylance:** not exposing her to the shiftiness of the internet

**carrierpidgeon:** that didn’t stop keith when we were little

**shayfromstatefarm:** didn’t we establish that little keith did things he wasn’t supposed to

**kogayne:** little keith and little pidge do not have the age gap that lance and clara do tho

**shayfromstatefarm:** shit u right

**carrierpidgeon:** fair point, i concede

**hunkerdunker:** anyway if anyone wants to duck out then u gotta find a different ride home from the diner

**lanceylance:** oh hell no, this is a perfect way to spend my last night in town

**hunkerdunker:** the last night of ur last summer as a carefree child

**lanceylance:** SHUT

**kogayne:** one last chance to kiss lance on the beach under the moonlight

**carrierpidgeon:** do u always have to make it abt klance

**kogayne:** yes? i love him

**lanceylance:** and i love him

**kogayne:** PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

**lanceylance:** AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

**shayfromstatefarm:** ...any relationship, romantic or otherwise, that involves keith or lance or both, is inherently chaotic

**shayfromstatefarm:** the meme team, the cryptkids, broganes, 

**lanceylance:** we just have that effect on people :)

**kogayne:** so it’s like, infinitely more chaotic when it’s just the two of us with no one to corral us

**shayfromstatefarm:** yes

**lanceylance:** FALSE, that’s when i become the impulse control

**kogayne:** and then when he’s sick and i’m not it goes the other way around

**hunkerdunker:** this should be fun on campus when we get exposed to all new germs and one of you inevitably gets sick and then you’re stuck in close quarters

**lanceylance:** “stuck”

**shayfromstatefarm:** they’ve already established they’re going to spend all of their time cuddling

**lanceylance:** NOT LIKE WE’VE GOT OTHER ROOMMATES TO STOP US ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**kogayne:** i like being held what about it

**lanceylance:** AND I LIKE HOLDING HIM

**lanceylance:** W H A T  A B O U T I T

**hunkerdunker:** anyway,,, i’m leaving in 10 minutes

**hunkerdunker:** getting shay first, then pidge, then lance, then keith

**hunkerdunker:** BE READY

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**lanceylance:** welp, good night guys, i guess i’ll be seeing you all at some point tomorrow?

**kogayne:** first day of the rest of our lives

**hunkerdunker:** wow

**shayfromstatefarm:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** do u think arus is one of those colleges that does a cathartic scream for midterms and finals

**shayfromstatefarm:** i guess we’ll find out

**shayfromstatefarm:** good night guys

**hunkerdunker:** night guys

**kogayne:** gnight y’all

**lanceylance:** night

 

**_kogayne > lanceylance_ **

**kogayne:** everything’s gonna be alright tomorrow

**kogayne:** everything’s gonna be alright in the years to come

**kogayne:** when i was freaking out you told me that we’ve got the squad behind us

**kogayne:** and i have you

**kogayne:** and you were right

**kogayne:** the squad’s not going anywhere, and if worse comes to worst, you’re always going to have me

**kogayne:** you and me, us against the world

**lanceylance:** :’)  <33333333

**lanceylance:** i love u

**kogayne:** i love you too

**kogayne:** see you tomorrow, starboy

**lanceylance:** see u tomorrow starlight  <33

**kogayne:** <333333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...that's it?"
> 
> lmao
> 
> well, actually,
> 
> I FUCKING LIED I'M GETTING INSPIRATION AND I'M PLOTTING 1-2 MORE CHAPTERS AFTER THIS EVERYONE CELEBRATE
> 
> i wanna see _some_ college shenanigans, and move-in weekend may as well be an extension of both summer and orientation, so uhh,,, see ya whenever the next one is? hopefully before my classes start monday??
> 
> AIGHT BYE LOVE U FUCKERS


	26. move-in day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the arus squad moves in (ft. keith's unhealthy habits) (no i'm not projecting what are u talking about)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, two chapters ago: lol next update is the last chapter  
> me, last chapter: SIKE
> 
> here's the next chapter i'm glad u all are so happy
> 
> (btw this takes place friday 08/24/18)
> 
> **trigger warning for mentions of nausea/vomit at the very beginning of the chapter**

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**hunkerdunker:** lololololololol guess who almost threw up as soon as he woke up

**hunkerdunker:** anxiety is Not The One

**lanceylance:** ertrhthyrjrygnb SHUT UP I DID THE SAME THING

**lanceylance:** WOKE UP AND WENT “OH FUCK OH FUCK THE TUM IS NOT HAPPY”

**shayfromstatefarm:** nooooooooo :(

**kogayne:** okay, no, no puking here

**kogayne:** everyone’s nervous, i know

**kogayne:** but everything is gonna be okay

**kogayne:** -i say, like i wasn’t freaking out yesterday

**shayfromstatefarm:** everyone’s freaking out at different times and it’s okay!! we’re all processing this differently

**shayfromstatefarm:** the important thing to remember is that at one point or another all of us will have freaked out!!

**kogayne:** are u saying u haven’t freaked out yet

**shayfromstatefarm:** well no, i’m just more lowkey about my freakouts

**kogayne:** read: shay probably handles them better than the rest of us

**shayfromstatefarm:** and what about it?

**hunkerdunker:** why did we all collectively pick up on that meme like,,, weeks late

**kogayne:** BC WE CAN

**lanceylance:** /WHAT ABOUT IT/

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh god what have we done

**hunkerdunker:** YOU SAY, AS IF YOU DIDN’T JUST USE THAT MEME TWO MINUTES AGO

**shayfromstatefarm:** …

**hunkerdunker:** WAIT NO

**shayfromstatefarm:** AND WHAT ABOUT IT HUNK

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**kogayne:** shay’s memeing, hunk’s screaming, THE SIMULATION IS SHOT TO SHIT

**lanceylance:** gotta throw the whole sim away

**shayfromstatefarm:** what time are u all leaving

**kogayne:** lance and i move in at 7, we’re leaving at like 6:15

**hunkerdunker:** it’s only a half hour drive…?

**kogayne:** traffic

**lanceylance:** meeting at dunkin for breakfast

**shayfromstatefarm:** there it is

**lanceylance:** except idk if i’m gonna eat bc i feel like i’m gonna tHROW UP

**kogayne:** shh no no puking on my watch

**kogayne:** that’s why we’re meeting early

**hunkerdunker:** /why do u insist on being gross in the gc/

**shayfromstatefarm:** why do u people do these things

**kogayne:** listen,

**kogayne:** he is anxious

**kogayne:** and i love him

**kogayne:** therefore, i shall comfort him at every opportunity

**kogayne:** in conclusion:

**kogayne:** klance

**lanceylance:** we weren’t even being gross hunk it’s not like we’re gonna make out

**hunkerdunker:** me, rolling up to dunkin to witness u two with an obvious public display of affection: [gesturing wildly] IS THIS ALLOWED

**kogayne:** always allowed

**kogayne:** that’s my fuckin fiancé

**lanceylance:** uwu  <333

**hunkerdunker:** ENOUGH WITH THE UWUS

**lanceylance:** KEITH GETS ALL MY UWUS

**shayfromstatefarm:** someone help, i am trapped in this group chat, sos, free me, BLS

**kogayne:** aaaaaaaaand shay’s still memeing

**kogayne:** okay that’s my cue to hop out

**kogayne:** see u guys later?

**shayfromstatefarm:** i mean yeah probably, there are probably gonna be a bunch of freshman events

 

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**lanceylance:** TODAY!!!!!!!!!

**hunkerdunker:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**shayfromstatefarm:** WE ALREADY DID THIS ONCE

**kogayne:** hunk screaming counter: 2

**carrierpidgeon:** oh god hunk snapped?

**lanceylance:** SNAPPED

**allurable:** if hunk lost it then what hope is there for the rest of us

**mattata:** lmaoo already been through college have fun fuckers!!

**lanceylance:** dear diary, mattata holt is dead to me

**mattata:** ratt holt

**mattata:** short for ratthew

**takashmeoutside:** did you just jump on your own roasting

**mattata:** Maybe So

**kogayne:** why is everyone memeing today

**hunkerdunker:** listen, at least matt memeing is normal

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY MEMEING IS NOT NORMAL AND I’M STILL SHOOK

**shayfromstatefarm:** new life new normal

**kogayne:** new school new us

**hunkerdunker:** so if college changes us does that mean james is going to be a nice person

**allurable:** yeah but it means you’ll be an asshole :/

**lanceylance:** “will be”

**hunkerdunker:** I HAVE GIVEN THIS FRIENDSHIP NOTHING BUT LOVE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME

**allurable:** don’t mind lance the college brain already changed him

**mattata:** “changed”

**lanceylance:** >:((

**allurable:** did any of you get enough sleep

**takashmeoutside:** no, hunk kidnapped them after the diner

**hunkerdunker:** way to expose me i guess

**allurable:** hunk why would u do that when u hAD TO WAKE UP EARLY

**hunkerdunker:** new year new me

**shayfromstatefarm:** STOP WE’VE HAD THAT CONVERSATION ALREADY

**allurable:** today on “spot the sleep-deprived ones”

**lanceylance:** joke’s on you i’m gonna sleep in the car

**takashmeoutside:** it’s only half an hour away

**takashmeoutside:** and you’re getting coffee

**kogayne:** and cuddles :)

**mattata:** aaaaaaaand there it is

**lanceylance:** trust me i will still find a way to sleep between dunkin and campus

**lanceylance:** mark my words

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**hunkerdunker:** ...what...the fuck...kinda traffic...IS THIS

**kogayne:** ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

**lanceylance:** well

**lanceylance:** good thing i brought my pillow and it’s not in em’s car

**shayfromstatefarm:** this is literally “drive two feet, stop for five minutes”

**kogayne:** i wish that was even a mild exaggeration

**hunkerdunker:** how long do u think it’s gonna take us to get to our dorms

**kogayne:** i don’t know

**kogayne:** all i know is i did not wake up early to sit in on-campus traffic

**shayfromstatefarm:** to be fair there /are/ nearly 4000 freshmen moving in

**hunkerdunker:** you’d think, since shiro and matt went, they would’ve gotten here a lot earlier

**kogayne:** arus didn’t have this many kids at that point

**shayfromstatefarm:** like 8 years ago??

**lanceylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**lanceylance:** all i know is i’m gonna try and SHLEEP

**kogayne:** translation: he’s going to be too anxious and excited to sleep so he’s gonna keep checking his phone to make sure the gcs aren’t blowing up without his presence

**lanceylance:** why u gotta out me like this

**hunkerdunker:** let’s play car games

**hunkerdunker:** i spy with my little eye something small

**kogayne:** my patience

**lanceylance:** jame’s—

**shayfromstatefarm:** i hate that he put the hyphen and i still know what he was gonna say

**lanceylance:** actually, it’s an em dash :3

**shayfromstatefarm:** BOI

**kogayne:** insults abt someone’s physical appearance are gross if ur gonna roast him roast his personality

**lanceylance:** hmmm u right

**shayfromstatefarm:** “appearance” as if we can see it

**lanceylance:** well,

**hunkerdunker:** I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE TREES OVER THERE BUT OKAY

**shayfromstatefarm:** where are u guys anyway

**lanceylance:** i’m literally right behind keith, shiro, and krolia and i’m tempted to climb into the car with them

**hunkerdunker:** wait i see lance’s mom’s car they’re like six cars ahead of me and the moms

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O

**shayfromstatefarm:** HUNK WAIT I SEE U UR THREE CARS UP

**kogayne:** alright this line is fucking long and we’re not moving, theoretically we could all get out and hang out on the grass for a while

**lanceylance:** or, consider: we stay here bc i’m tired and too lazy to move

**shayfromstatefarm:** seconded

**hunkerdunker:** thirded

**kogayne:** fuck that i’m getting out

**kogayne:** i’ve gotta pee anyway

**hunkerdunker:** did we need to know that

**kogayne:** yes, my best friends need to know all of my most intimate details

**shayfromstatefarm:** well, keith’s being super open, we officially broke him

**hunkerdunker:** nah, arus officially broke him

**hunkerdunker:** haven’t even been here a quarter of a day

**kogayne:** leave me alone heathens

**kogayne:** gonna go scope out these portapotties

**hunkerdunker:** WE DON’T NEED THE DETAILS

**kogayne:** I’M TIRED AND I GOTTA PEE AND I’M HOPPED UP ON CAFFEINE FUCK YOU

**lanceylance:** have fun 

**shayfromstatefarm:** “fun”

**shayfromstatefarm:** IT’S A PORTAPOTTY, LANCE

**lanceylance:** so?

**hunkerdunker:** who dares me to go over there and tip it over

**lanceylance:** you would get in so much trouble w the cops over there number one number two WHY WOULD U HURT KEITH LIKE THAT

**shayfromstatefarm:** college has also officially broken hunk

**shayfromstatefarm:** we’re officially fucked

**lanceylance:** we were fucked when you started memeing this morning

**hunkerdunker:** in conclusion: everybody’s fucked~

**lanceylance:** HE USED THE TILDE ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT

**shayfromstatefarm:** THIS IS NOT THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH

**hunkerdunker:** IF YOU WON’T HAVE ME AT MY BEAST YOU CAN’T HAVE ME AT MY BEAUTY

**shayfromstatefarm:** I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE BETTER FOR ME

**kogayne:** guys i’m back from the portapotties

**kogayne:** they’re really nice portapotties

**hunkerdunker:** DFHGJGHKMGJHKMH WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THIS

**kogayne:** break up the fighting

**shayfromstatefarm:** the only breakup—

**lanceylance:** RESTART SIM RESTART SIM RESTART SIM

**kogayne:** IF YOU RESTART THEN EVERYTHING RESETS AND WHAT IF WE DON’T FALL IN LOVE AGAIN WHAT IF WE NEVER CROSS PATHS—

**lanceylance:** SOULMATES! MEET! AND! FALL! IN! LOVE! IN! EVERY! REALITY!

 

**_< 3_ **

**takashmeoutside:** so i forgot how bad arus move-in traffic is and i’m stuck bumper-to-bumper and i’m pretty sure the teens are losing it

**takashmeoutside:** keith got out of the car to go to the bathroom and came back and i moved up like a foot

**takashmeoutside:** and now he’s typing away, i’m pretty sure they have an arus group chat

**takashmeoutside:** like all i can see on his screen is screaming

**mattata:** you dumbass u didn’t skip the move-in traffic

**takashmeoutside:** no, bECAUSE I’M A DUMBASS

**allurable:** way to go paul

**takashmeoutside:** alright listen it’s not totally bad, i’m trying to read over keith’s shoulder and they’re yelling about restarting the sim

**allurable:** bc the simulation is fucked and they’re all having breakdowns, obviously

**takashmeoutside:** completely fucked

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**kogayne:** BUT IF THERE’S A GLITCH IN THE SIM THEN ALL THAT GOES OUT THE WINDOW

**hunkerdunker:** WHAT IF IT’S LIKE SHUTTING DOWN A COMPUTER MID-PROCESS AND IT FUCKS EVERYTHING UP WORSE

**lanceylance:** FUCK

**lanceylance:** KEITH I’LL NEVER LET U GO I SWEAR

**kogayne:** JUST SAY U WON’T LET GOOOOOO

**shayfromstatefarm:** STOP SINGING IN THE GROUP CHAT

**lanceylance:** STOP KINKSHAMING ME

**shayfromstatefarm:** KINKSHAMING /IS MY KINK/

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**lanceylance:** :O WE’RE MOVING MORE THAN TWO FEET

**hunkerdunker:** ah, yes. three feet.

**lanceylance:** pls i just wanna get to my dooooooooooooooorm

**kogayne:** our fourth floor dorm, with all of our shit

**lanceylance:** elevators exist 

**lanceylance:** they have move-in helpers

**lanceylance:** also keith now i wanna cuddle again get in my car

**kogayne:** no u had ur chance mister “i’m gonna shleep”

**lanceylance:** pls, babe, i made a mistake—

**shayfromstatefarm:** stop klancing it up omfg

**hunkerdunker:** hey,, shay,,,, there’s room to snuggle in the back of the minivan,,,,,,,

**shayfromstatefarm:** what part of “rax will kill u” don’t u understand

**lanceylance:** i still find it funny that rax thinks hunk is sus and shouldn’t be left alone in close quarters w shay

**hunkerdunker:** IT’S NOT ALONE THO WE’LL BE WITH MY MOMS

**shayfromstatefarm:** but  r a x 

**lanceylance:** i love the fact that my mom and siblings ship me and keith :)

**kogayne:** “ship” omfg 

**lanceylance:** i speaketh the truth

**lanceylance:** :O MOVING AGAIN!!

**lanceylance:** NO

**kogayne:** HAHA FUCKERS 

**kogayne:** I’M FREE

**kogayne:** SEE U AT THE DORM LANCE  >;D

**lanceylance:** NOOOOO I’M GONNA SIT HERE FOR ANOTHER FIFTEEN FUCKIN MINUTES

**hunkerdunker:** LANCE I’M SIX CARS BEHIND U AND SHAY IS THREE BEHIND ME SHUT UR FUCK

**lanceylance:** KEITH DON’T U DARE CLAIM A BED WITHOUT ME

**hunkerdunker:** oh god what if james got to our dorm before me

**kogayne:** don’t see what the big deal is abt claiming a bed if u wanna sleep together every night ‘,:/

**shayfromstatefarm:** did he really just use that emote

**kogayne:** AND WHAT ABOUT IT SHAY

**lanceylance:** b o i

**kogayne:** fiiiiiiiiiiine what side of the room do u want

**lanceylance:** i want the left

**kogayne:** deal

 

**_arus 2k22_ **

**jamesgriffindor:** this traffic is fucking ridiculous

**aintevennad:** sucks to suck ina and i already made it to our dorm

**kogayne:** i just got into mine

**lanceylance:** omw now bby  <333333

**hunkerdunker:** i’m like, the next car to get outta this hellhole, i’ll be to the dorm soon

**hunkerdunker:** james, any preference for side of the room

**jamesgriffindor:** i don’t care

**kinklemonade:** he’s not gonna care until he gets there and realizes he does care

**jamesgriffindor:** shut up

**kinklemonade:** you can’t shut up the truth

**hunkerdunker:** alright fine i’m taking left

**hunkerdunker:** unless u wanna bunk our beds

**jamesgriffindor:** no bunking

**jamesgriffindor:** i’ll take right

**hunkerdunker:** thank you for giving me a straight answer

**aintevennad:** pfffffffft he’s the only one who can

**shayfromstatefarm:** amazing

 

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**takashmeoutside:** alright so how many people cried today

**takashmeoutside:** raise ur hands

**takashmeoutside:** [raises hand]

**hunkerdunker:** fuck it i’ll own up to it [hand up]

**lanceylance:** lancey’s a crier everyone!! i love my mom and i’m not afraid to admit it!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** the day’s already cursed, i’ll own up

**kogayne:** I SAID I WOULDN’T CRY

**takashmeoutside:** keith cried so hard :P

**kogayne:** S H I R O

**carrierpidgeon:** i wish i could’ve been there to see u guys off but i’m sure u had a blast moving in!!

**lanceylance:** ah yes, lugging everything up four flights of stairs in the heat bc the elevator was too crowded and clogged, my favorite

**takashmeoutside:** keith almost passed out i had to make him sit down

**allurable:** /keith/ almost passed out?

**lanceylance:** he was too nervous to eat this morning

**takashmeoutside:** his mom tried to tell him he couldn’t rely on coffee alone and he took it as a challenge

**kogayne:** are we done exposing me

**takashmeoutside:** U WERE PALE AS HELL AND LITERALLY SHAKING

**kogayne:** yeah well things almost went black for a sec there so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** SO PIDGE HOW WAS LINK CREW HOW WAS FRESHMEN ORIENTATION

**carrierpidgeon:** i can already tell this class is full of little shits and i can’t wait for them to get a rude awakening on the first day

**carrierpidgeon:** altho my friends and i did our best job leading them around the school, when we didn’t want to kill them

**carrierpidgeon:** nolan thoroughly convinced his entire group that there’s a pool on the third floor

**lanceylance:** ahhhh memories

**hunkerdunker:** i still remember little freshman lance trying to break into the third floor to see if there’s a pool, only to get busted by zarkon

**lanceylance:** NO ONE STOPPED ME EVEN THO LIKE THREE SENIORS WALKED BY

**mattata:** ahhh upperclassmen

**lanceylance:** do u think the arus upperclassmen are gonna lie to us

**shayfromstatefarm:** well today was only freshmen move-in so i think the only ~upperclassmen~ on campus are our welcome weekend leaders?

**lanceylance:** i hope so

**lanceylance:** i don’t want to entertain the idea of us getting bullshitted for shits and giggles on a huge campus

**takashmeoutside:** ...matt allura and i went to arus, u can field any questions to us if u get desperate

**mattata:** as much as i would like to i promise i won’t fuck w u

**allurable:** ...uh huh…

**mattata:** SRDHTJYFKMTJYNJ I MEAN IT, YE OF LITTLE FAITH

 

**_kogayne > takashmeoutside_ **

**kogayne:** sensory overload is a bitch but lance is the best wow i love him

**takashmeoutside:** what happened now

**kogayne:** alright so u know how i almost passed out bc i didn’t eat and i was overworking myself

**takashmeoutside:** YES 

**takashmeoutside:** KROLIA AND I WERE WORRIED ALRIGHT??? I WAS PREPARED TO DRAG U UP THE STAIRS AND FORCE U TO SIT DOWN IF U DIDN’T COMPLY

**kogayne:** well

**kogayne:** i have a killer headache

**kogayne:** i’ve had a killer headache all day

**takashmeoutside:** not eating, overheating, dehydrating, overworking, exhausted—

**kogayne:** yeah i know i get it i did too many bad things at once and now i’m paying for it

**kogayne:** we spent the day doing stuff with our welcome weekend leaders and like?? we went to this loud welcome ceremony on the central lawn

**takashmeoutside:** convocation?

**kogayne:** YEAH THAT

**kogayne:** and it was like, fun i guess? but then again HEADACHE and i was COLD but lance snuggled with me and kept me warm so :)

**kogayne:** except then they had that big party going on in the student center and i was like “oh yeah i can power through i ate and hydrated”

**kogayne:** except i put on a sweatshirt to go outside, but then the student union was hot, and it was CROWDED EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING and the music was so loud shiro i wanted to die

**takashmeoutside:** did you almost pass out again?

**kogayne:** ...maybe

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** we were like, on the third floor, i was in my sweatshirt, heat was rising

**kogayne:** like??? i felt bad bc lance looked like he wanted to do stuff but then like

**kogayne:** all the lines were super long

**kogayne:** and i think he Knew

**kogayne:** and like?? mmm i just really love him

**takashmeoutside:** of course

**kogayne:** we got some food but then everything else was like, super long of a wait and it was still super loud and i was getting dizzy so we went back outside where it was nice and cold and then went back to the room and?? fgbrthhtgfjghnh i still feel bad but,

**kogayne:** “eh, not worth it”

**kogayne:** “lines are too long, it’s too hot in here anyway” shiro he Knew 

**kogayne:** and like, we went back to the room, lance was like, ready to carry me up the stairs, and now we’re snuggling and we’re gonna watch bfu but i might fall asleep but honestly??? i’m okay w it i’m so content oh my god

**kogayne:** I LOVE LANCE

**takashmeoutside:** if ur snuggling why are u texting me

**kogayne:** he’s texting his mom

**takashmeoutside:** why are u both texting other ppl

**kogayne:** don’t have to be talking to each other to enjoy being in each others’ company

**takashmeoutside:** wait i thought u were overheating why are u snuggling in the first place

**kogayne:** we have both of our fans going pointed in our direction and his arms make me relaxed leave me aLONE

**takashmeoutside:** well alright then

**takashmeoutside:** i’m gonna leave u

**takashmeoutside:** u be good, alright? text me tomorrow

**kogayne:** kinda hard to not text u when ur in the gc—

**takashmeoutside:** keith

**kogayne:** yeah yeah i know

**kogayne:** does mom wanna talk

**takashmeoutside:** she says she’ll call at some point tomorrow or sunday

**kogayne:** alright

**takashmeoutside:** good night, keith

**takashmeoutside:** i’m proud of you

**kogayne:** gnight, shiro

**kogayne:** and thanks

**kogayne:** wouldn’t be here without u

 

**_lanceylance > mamamcclain_ **

**lanceylance:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**mamamcclain:** lancito i understand you miss me but is it really that bad

**lanceylance:** etdfghryfjgjmntrd that was actually me screaming abt how cute keith is even tho i wanna kick his butt sometimes

**mamamcclain:** and why would u wanna kick his butt

**lanceylance:** remember how he almost passed out when we were setting up the dorm

**mamamcclain:** yes

**lanceylance:** he almost passed out again tonight

**lanceylance:** bc like, ,, ,, our welcome weekend leaders had us out most of the day doing stuff, and we went to this big opening ceremonies thing, and like, keith finally ate and had something to drink but it was hot most of the day and he looked like death and the dorms are hot but we came outside and it was cold??? so we put on sweatshirts and we were like, cuddling or whatever

**lanceylance:** which, he’s very clingy when he’s grumpy and tired and sick

**mamamcclain:** i’m aware, this wouldn’t be the first time you’ve told me

**lanceylance:** yes well anyway

**lanceylance:** after the opening ceremonies the student center was having some kind of party

**lanceylance:** like there was some fun stuff to do indoors like rollerblading and stuff but?? the lines were SUUUUUUPER long and it was HOT IN THERE and people were screaming and the music was blaring and i’m pretty sure keith’s sensory overload kicked in

**lanceylance:** like he was clamming up

**lanceylance:** two seconds away from wiping out

**mamamcclain:** that’s not healthy!!

**lanceylance:** no it’s not

**lanceylance:** so we got some food and went back outside where it was nice and cool and now we’re back in our dorm cuddling and we’re about to watch his favorite youtube series before bed

**lanceylance:** and he’s just,,

**lanceylance:** so soft

**lanceylance:** i love him

**lanceylance:** i can’t wait to marry him

**mamamcclain:** you two already ran ahead with the proposal

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**mamamcclain:** anyway, i’ll let you go then

**mamamcclain:** call me sometime tomorrow, mijo

**lanceylance:** i will

**lanceylance:** te quiero mama

**mamamcclain:** te quiero y buenas noches mijo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright after this i think...one more...???? unless i change my mind again??? i dunno don't look at me


	27. finale.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> saturday of welcome weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this is the saturday chapter going up on a thursday

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**hunkerdunker:** i thought i snored badly but james is worse

**lanceylance:** hunk it is five AM

**hunkerdunker:** wh

**hunkerdunker:** WHY ARE YOU UP

**kogayne:** hello

**lanceylance:** we wiped out early last night after convocation and we wanted to get a jump start on the day

**hunkerdunker:** who are you two and where are the real lance and keith

**kogayne:** NEW YEAR NEW US BINCH

**shayfromstatefarm:** good morning did keith just say binch

**hunkerdunker:** WHY IS EVERYONE AWAKE

**kogayne:** bc we need to be somewhere for 9

**kogayne:** lance and i wiped out before we could shower

**kogayne:** his face routine takes 500 years

**lanceylance:** i told keith i would do his hair

**kogayne:** we also need breakfast

**shayfromstatefarm:** see kimberly is a fitness nut and she wants to go for a run with me

**shayfromstatefarm:** ~roommate bonding~

**hunkerdunker:** please. tell james to stop snoring. i had two more hours of rest. i am dying and in hell.

**lanceylance:** HI DYING AND IN HELL,

**lanceylance:** I’M LANCE.

**shayfromstatefarm:** he didn’t jump at the chance to quote avenue q this is the worst timeline

**lanceylance:** i mean i can still quote avenue q

**lanceylance:** [inhale]

**takashmeoutside:** no, no they were being responsible shay wHY

**allurable:** so what’s on the agenda today kids!!!

**lanceylance:** more welcome weekend stuff

**lanceylance:** i dunno i think our afternoon is free??

**hunkerdunker:** there’s some kind of lecture we have this afternoon, and then another one in the evening, and then some kind of block party???

**takashmeoutside:** ah yes, student gov block party

**mattata:** u guys can make stuffed lions but that line fills up fast like if ur not there in the first five minutes ur never getting there, that thing’s like hell on earth

**lanceylance:** inch resting

**shayfromstatefarm:** i think i’m gonna go scope out my classes with kimberly and do more roommate bonding with our free time but for now i’ve gotta go!! gotta go bust a fREAKIN LUNG

**hunkerdunker:** have fun pls don’t die

**shayfromstatefarm:** i won’t die if u don’t attempt to kill ur roommate for snoring

**hunkerdunker:** -_-

**hunkerdunker:** no promises

**takashmeoutside:** are you ever gonna try bonding with him? or have u just resigned urself to disliking him?

**hunkerdunker:** oH SHIT I GOTTA MAKE HIM AND KEITH APOLOGIZE TO EACH OTHER

**kogayne:** fuck i thought i could’ve avoided it—

**hunkerdunker:** nope, no u could not have

**hunkerdunker:** during ur free time we’re meeting up and we’re apologizing

**kogayne:** okay fine but after that i’m going to scope out my classes

**kogayne:** ur free to join me

**hunkerdunker:** is lance going

**lanceylance:** :3

**hunkerdunker:** i’ll pas

**lanceylance:** :O

**hunkerdunker:** maybe i can link up with kinkade and see what’s up with him and his roommate

**mattata:** u know if u murk the roommate then kinkade is out of a roommate and you can try and switch in with him,,,

**hunkerdunker:** hmmm

**hunkerdunker:** u make a compelling argument…

**takashmeoutside:** hunk, do not murder ur friend’s roommate

**hunkerdunker:** fine

**hunkerdunker:** i won’t

**lanceylance:** (yet)

**hunkerdunker:** shh the less dad knows the better

**takashmeoutside:** NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO KILL PEOPLE

**hunkerdunker:** >:(

**kogayne:** shh we’ve got this hunk

**hunkerdunker:** okay no you and james need to talk things out

**kogayne:** fiiiiiiiiiiiiine

**kogayne:** if u and james get up get ready and haul ass to the cafeteria over here then we can get things done over breakfast with plenty of time before the presentation

**hunkerdunker:** deal

**hunkerdunker:** it’s my goal to hit every dining hall on campus within one month anyway

**hunkerdunker:** for breakfast, lunch, /and/ dinner

**kogayne:** ambitious

**lanceylance:** i mean i’m sure u could do it if u picked (1) dining hall per day and changed it every day but,,, schedules man

**hunkerdunker:** i’m gonna pull it off, mark my words

**lanceylance:** words hath been marked

 

**_takashmeoutside > kogayne_ **

**takashmeoutside:** everything alright up there? group chat went dead

**kogayne:** uh, i guess?

**kogayne:** i. talked to james

**takashmeoutside:** please tell me things went well and nobody got into a fistfight

**kogayne:** we were in the dining hall, it wasn’t the place to start a fistfight

**takashmeoutside:** k e i t h

**kogayne:** alright alright we didn’t get into a fight

**kogayne:** it helped that like, the whole squad ended up there

**kogayne:** like ours and his

**kogayne:** he admitted that what he said was fucked up and he was sorry and that he wanted to move past it, and we agreed that that was probably a good idea

**kogayne:** now hopefully there’ll be less tension moving forward

**kogayne:** honestly it wasn’t even the worst part of the day

**takashmeoutside:** it’s only like 3 in the afternoon

**kogayne:** yeah well today was like, orientation part 2 sort of i guess

**kogayne:** like we had to attend another , ,,, , ,, sexual assault lecture

**takashmeoutside:** did they tell u u could leave if things got like, too intense or triggering

**kogayne:** yes

**kogayne:** but i wasn’t about to be that kid that got up and left while everyone turned and stared

**takashmeoutside:** / k e i t h /

**kogayne:** i mean once i got past the extreme discomfort,

**takashmeoutside:** do i have to meme-speak at u to get u to take better care of urself

**kogayne:** meme. speak. ?

**takashmeoutside:** BLS

**takashmeoutside:** TAKE CARE OF UR MENTAL HEALTH

**kogayne:** “meme speak” i

**takashmeoutside:** you’re purposely avoiding the suject at hand

**kogayne:** suject

**takashmeoutside:** YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN

**kogayne:** The number you have contacted could not be reached.

**takashmeoutside:** KEITH

**kogayne:** okay listen,

**takashmeoutside:** nope u need to take care of urself or so help me i’ll drive up there and yell at u in person

**kogayne:** shiroooooo

**takashmeoutside:** sigh,

**takashmeoutside:** how bad was it

**kogayne:** it wasn’t like, super bad

**kogayne:** they were doing like, a skit, but it wasn’t,, ,,, ,, ,,,, totally relevant to my situation, so it could’ve been worse

**kogayne:** also i started zoning out at some point once i calmed myself

**takashmeoutside:** calmed yourself from what

**kogayne:** okay so i was getting a LITTLE BIT UNSETTLED before the actually presentation began

**kogayne:** i may have been,, slightly,,,, shaky

**kogayne:** BUT I CAME OUT OF IT ALRIGHT

**kogayne:** and now before u can talk more oh no i must go lance and i are gonna go track down our classes—

**takashmeoutside:** boi this isn’t over

**kogayne:** yes it is i just declared it over

**takashmeoutside:** BOI

 

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**kogayne:** so the campus is kinda pretty in the afternoon

**kogayne:** photo spam incoming

_ (27) photos from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**carrierpidgeon:** -_- 12 of these are just pics of lance posing or candids of lance

**kogayne:** and what about it

**kogayne:** maybe he’s pretty too

**hunkerdunker:** “maybe”

**lanceylance:** did this binch just insinuate i am not always 100% hot as fuck

**kogayne:** ur not always 100% hot as fuck sometimes ur just cute and i wanna cuddle u but whatever i guess

**lanceylance:** wait no i take my indignation back

**kogayne:** welp too late fuck u

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**mattata:** there’s literally nothing stopping u—

**takashmeoutside:** MATT

**allurable:** MATT

**carrierpidgeon:** M A T T 

**lanceylance:** [( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) intensifies]

**takashmeoutside:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

**hunkerdunker:** ur floormates don’t need that

**lanceylance:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**takashmeoutside:** do i need to ban you from seeing keith

**lanceylance:** NO I LOVE HIM I’D NEVER DO HIM DIRTY

**kogayne:** let us live, we’re both responsible people

**kogayne:** i mean, when it comes to our relationship

**kogayne:** uh, other areas of our lives may vary

**lanceylance:** see: my work ethic all of senior year

 

**_arus 2k22_ **

**aintevennad:** so,

**aintevennad:** seeing as this morning we ironed out that little wrinkle in this shirt of camaraderie,

**aintevennad:** i say that after whatever we’ve gotta do tonight, we all hang out at the block party together

**aintevennad:** and we get to know each other better!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** :O are u proposing friendship

**aintevennad:** i AM proposing friendship!!

**leafydaughter:** she’s very proud of her shirt metaphor

**lanceylance:** this sounds fun!!

**hunkerdunker:** how long is attendance for this mandatory, i enjoy sleeping and we need to be up early tomorrow morning

**aintevennad:** i dunno i just wanna party

**leafydaughter:** she wants to party but i will ensure she gets the right amount of rest

**lanceylance:** i stan a healthy supportive couple !

**kogayne:** why do u stan urself :/

**jamesgriffindor:** okay let’s maybe not

**kogayne:** i will love and appreciate lance at every given opportunity

**aintevennad:** i too stan a healthy and supportive couple !

**lanceylance:** omg u know stan culture

**kinklemonade:** i don’t see this ending well

**kogayne:** tell me about it

**hunkerdunker:** today on “people we should not have introduced lance to”

**kinklemonade:** today on “people we should not have introduced nadia to”

**lanceylance:** CHAOTIC  BI MEETS CHAOTIC LESBIAN

**aintevennad:** >:D

**jamesgriffindor:** this is…

**kogayne:** no

**shayfromstatefarm:** dthythmjmtyjr

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**lanceylance:** keith: “james and i are good now”

**lanceylance:** also keith: “if james so much as speaks i am going to murk him when he least expects it”

**kogayne:** WHY ARE U BOOING ME

**kogayne:** I’M RIGHT

**hunkerdunker:** okay, no, i don’t think u are entirely right, pls don’t murk my roommate, idk how i’m gonna explain that to our ra

**kogayne:** so u don’t report it to the ra

**shayfromstatefarm:** the true chaotic gay energy

**kogayne:** THANK YOU SHAY

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY NO

**shayfromstatefarm:** I WASN’T SUPPORTING HIM I WAS JUST POINTING OUT THAT HE’S ALSO CHAOTIC

**hunkerdunker:** ...wanna start new discourse in the main gc

**lanceylance:** :O OUR DND ALIGNMENTS

**hunkerdunker:** FUCK YES

**shayfromstatefarm:** oh my god i betcha arus has a dnd group

**lanceylance:** I’VE LOOKED INTO IT THERE ARE MULTIPLE AND ONE OF THEM MEETS FRIDAY NIGHTS

**lanceylance:** PLS JOIN WITH ME I’M BEGGING U

**kogayne:** guys look at him

_ (1) photo from  _ **_kogayne_ **

**kogayne:** he’s giving me the puppy dog eyes how do i say no to that

**shayfromstatefarm:** weakling

**lanceylance:** SHAY BLS :((((

**hunkerdunker:** SHAY DON’T CAVE BE STRONG SAVE URSELF

**lanceylance:** does that mean /you’re/ in??? :3c

**hunkerdunker:** [sigh]

**hunkerdunker:** unfortunately

**lanceylance:** >:3c

**kogayne:** u act like hanging out w lance is a bad thing

**hunkerdunker:** bc u both have chaotic energy and all of us in the same room is never a good idea

**hunkerdunker:** anyway TO THE OTHER CHAT

 

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**hunkerdunker:** new discourse: dnd alignments

**mattata:** pidge is chaotic evil

**carrierpidgeon:** BOI

**mattata:** no, shut up, i’ve thought this all out

**mattata:** lance is a chaotic good boi

**lanceylance:** >:3c

**mattata:** he’s a mess but ultimately he’s got good in his heart

**mattata:** keith is chaotic neutral

**kogayne:** are u implying i don’t also want the best

**mattata:** boi i partly helped raise u i know ur ass better than u know ur ass

**mattata:** u sleep with a knife and have a very “fuck the authority” attitude

**mattata:** ur very much do no harm but take no shit in ur philosophies

**mattata:** whereas lance is more of “be nice to people even if they wronged u”

**mattata:** pidge is chaotic evil

**mattata:** she starts most of the discourse and is a gremlin and ultimately /enjoys/ stirring up chaos

**mattata:** and i’m still not over the thing with the robot from two years ago

**carrierpidgeon:** SHUT

**takashmeoutside:** oh, that

**takashmeoutside:** you’re still traumatized?

**mattata:** YES??

**mattata:** anyway, moving on

**mattata:** kashi is true neutral

**mattata:** in his youth he was chaotic neutral and that’s why keith is the way he is, till he activated dad mode and had to be Lawful Good™ but now he just wants a nap

**mattata:** he can pretend to be lawful good or neutral good all he wants but at his core he truly does not give a shit

**allurable:** KASHI IS NEUTRAL GOOD AND I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS

**kogayne:** shiro’s true neutral no debate

**kogayne:** i had to live with him for a large chunk of my life, he’s true neutral

**kogayne:** tho he tends much closer to neutral good

**kogayne:** kinda like how if ur bi u might have a preference

**lanceylance:** my preference was closer to girls but keith man,,, mmmmm love that fiancé

**kogayne:** :)

**mattata:** anyway allura is neutral good with a leaning toward lawful good but listen,,, she can be chaotic as fuck

**allurable:** i am lawful good i have no idea what you’re talking about

**mattata:** u know exactly what i’m talking about

**carrierpidgeon:** u were one of the brains behind the big gay flashmob don’t act like u weren’t

**allurable:** shhh

**carrierpidgeon:** i will not be silenced!!! LET THE PEOPLE SPEAK!!!

**mattata:** see? exposing people. chaotic evil. anyway.

**mattata:** shay is like, lawful good

**hunkerdunker:** pfft

**shayfromstatefarm:** PFFFFFFFFFT

**lanceylance:** shay is neutral good

**lanceylance:** she ain’t lawful

**kogayne:** ^^

**carrierpidgeon:** no, shay is lawful

**carrierpidgeon:** SHAY IS LAWFUL GOOD AND THIS IS THE HILL I’M WILLING TO DIE ON

**shayfromstatefarm:** ummm i think i know myself

**mattata:** no no, that’s not how this works

**mattata:** keith thought he was a slytherin

**mattata:** shay thinks she’s neutral good

**mattata:** guess what? they’re both wrong

**mattata:** hunk is also true neutral

**hunkerdunker:** really now

**mattata:** u put on an air of lawful good but ur truly chaotic evil deep down inside and it balances out

**hunkerdunker:** chaotic evil, huh

**mattata:** ur like bffs with pidge i rest my case

**lanceylance:** hmm and what about you mr. sorting hat??

**mattata:** chaotic neutral. end of discussion.

**takashmeoutside:** pidge’s brother, automatically chaotic evil

**mattata:** NOPE. SHUT. I’M RIGHT.

**hunkerdunker:** okay well u guys can duke this out if u want but look at the time!! we gotta go!!!

 

**_arus 2k22_ **

**kogayne:** hey uh, i’m feelin pretty tired

**kogayne:** i’m ditching the block party early

**aintevennad:** but keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeith

**kogayne:** i’m also not huge on crowds or parties

**kogayne:** and uh

**kogayne:** sensory overload is kinda sorta maybe a thing that happens and it’s not pretty when it gets to me

**jamesgriffindor:** :/

**jamesgriffindor:** sensory overload? do u have specific triggers we should watch for?

**kogayne:** i

 

**_why the fuck you lions_ **

**kogayne:** IS THAT JAMES GRIFFIN ASKING ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH

**lanceylance:** I THINK IT IS

**hunkerdunker:** holy shit

**shayfromstatefarm:** ANSWER HIM MAYBE??

 

**_arus 2k22_ **

**kogayne:** yeah i uh

**kogayne:** noise is a big one, too much at once is just,,, it makes me super irritated and i can get kinda dizzy, too??

**kogayne:** uhh hmm

**kogayne:** it kinda goes hand-in-hand with big crowds, i guess

**kogayne:** not a fan of tons of people around me

**kogayne:** sometimes strobe lights? usually that only gets to me if i’m like,, already feeling sick

**aintevennad:** well i’m already at the block party and it’s got all three of those things

**kogayne:** yeah, u guys go on

**kogayne:** i think i’m gonna go back to the dorms and get a jump start on sleeping

**kogayne:** it’s been a hectic couple days, i gotta catch up

**leafydaughter:** i hope u rest well!!

**kinklemonade:** ^^ take care of yourself first

**hunkerdunker:** ^^^ feel better bro

 

**_lanceylance > kogayne_ **

**lanceylance:** u okay?

**kogayne:** yeah

**kogayne:** i made it back to the dorm alright, i currently have both fans blasting

**lanceylance:** u okay mentally

**kogayne:** i guess??

**lanceylance:** alright so listen this block party is all swell and dandy but there are lines for EVERYTHING 

**lanceylance:** like matt mentioned that build-ur-own-lion thing???

**lanceylance:** the line is fucking HUGE and it’s moving at a snail’s pace, there are lines for food, it’s loud as hell, shay and hunk are already discussing ditching

**lanceylance:** and i rlly hate the thought of u alone in the dorm just sitting there

**kogayne:** i’m fine, lance, i swear

**lanceylance:** yeah i know but i have a better idea:

**lanceylance:** u and me

**lanceylance:** just the two of us

**lanceylance:** u know the ice cream bar?

**kogayne:** the one that’s a fifteen minute walk across campus, including on the other side of a main road?

**lanceylance:** yes, actually, that’s exactly the one i was talking about

**lanceylance:** word’s getting around that most of campus is either here or at other parties, bc, yknow, saturday night

**kogayne:** OHHHHHHH IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT

**lanceylance:** u fuckin dork  <333

**lanceylance:** ANYWAY i say we head down there for date night and scope out the parts of campus down that way

**kogayne:** but u like parties

**lanceylance:** parties that give me /something to do/

**kogayne:** but u like people mr “everybody’s friend”

**lanceylance:** maybe i like certain people in particular

**kogayne:** okay but making new friends

**lanceylance:** okay but not letting my bby rot away in the dorm room bc his sensory overload was gonna kick into high gear if he didn’t get away from the party

**kogayne:** ur,, too fuckin good for me

**lanceylance:** ohhh no,,, u get stuck with a 12 instead of a 10,,,,,, oh no u must be suffering

**kogayne:** wregrthtymtumt

**lanceylance:** so what do u say mr “i like exploring new places and taking photos and also hunting cryptids”?

**kogayne:** are u stopping by the room or do u wanna meet up somewhere

**lanceylance:** i’m gonna stop by first

**lanceylance:** i was gonna say “so i can sweep u off ur feet like a true gentleman” but mostly i want my sweatshirt

**kogayne:** ehyrjrtherb amazing

 

**_SHRIEKING SHACK_ **

**takashmeoutside:** i know it’s midnight and you all should be sleeping but i know none of you are, so i’m taking the time to send this to you all, because i know this is your last stress-free day

**takashmeoutside:** plus, sunday. technically the start of the new week.

**takashmeoutside:** keith, lance, hunk, shay: i’m so proud of all of you for getting this far. i wish you all the best for the first year of college, and i’m here to tell you to geT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. BE BETTER THAN YOU WERE SENIOR YEAR. sleep. do your work on time and STOP PROCRASTINATING. but anyway. regardless of how wild your last year of high school was, you all worked incredibly hard to get where you are. savor it. make it worth it. make your first steps into the rest of your lives count.

**takashmeoutside:** pidge, you’re still in high school, but now you’re diving off the deep end into the world of ap and college prep. take it seriously. don’t do what you did this past year. learn from the chaos squad over there. i’m proud of where you are right now. keep working hard. i know you’re going to be able to achieve anything—you’ve got the brains and the holt drive. 

**takashmeoutside:** matt and allura u don’t get speeches but i love u

**mattata:** wow kashi is this retaliation for the dnd sorting 

**takashmeoutside:** yes, obviously

**allurable:** :P 

**kogayne:** shiro u motherfucker i should be sleeping not crying

**takashmeoutside:** and ur gonna be crying harder when we get everyone up there for parents weekend in october

**lanceylance:** :O I CAN SHOW MY FAMILY AROUND CAMPUS

**carrierpidgeon:** I CAN FIND A PLACE TO SNEAK INTO AND STAY SO I CAN’T GO HOME

**mattata:** PIDGE

**carrierpidgeon:** I MISS THEM AND ARUS SOUNDS COOL

**hunkerdunker:** did u just...own up to missing us…

**carrierpidgeon:** AND WHAT ABOUT IT

**shayfromstatefarm:** wow i suddenly can’t wait for october

**takashmeoutside:** one more opportunity for us to squad up

**kogayne:** did u just use the phrase “squad up”

**takashmeoutside:** AND WHAT ABOUT IT

**kogayne:** /WHO ARE YOU/

**takashmeoutside:** :P

**takashmeoutside:** get some sleep, kids

**takashmeoutside:** pidge, u have summer work to finish, and arus squad has one more day of welcome weekend before classes start

**kogayne:** alright

**kogayne:** guess i’ll go

**kogayne:** gn y’all

**allurable:** good night everyone!!

**mattata:** night motherfuckers

**hunkerdunker:** good night!!

**shayfromstatefarm:** gn guys

**carrierpidgeon:** night!!!

**takashmeoutside:** good night, everyone

**lanceylance:** night everyone!! can’t wait to squad up again :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and just like that, it's over.
> 
> as i'm writing this ending note, it's 9:15 PM on august 30th, and i'm sitting in the student union at college. one year ago tomorrow, i sat down in creative writing, my last first day of creative writing in high school. my first and last first day of creative writing as a senior. it was third period, and i was bored out of my mind. over the course of last september, i would write several chapters of chatfic between the characters i'd so dearly fallen in love with back in may 2017. on september 27th, i would get the wild idea to post them for an audience on archive of our own. hands down, one of my best and most chaotic decisions.
> 
> i didn't envision squad up becoming as big as it did. of course, it's not one of the Big Fandom Fanfics, but it's still...gotten a much larger following than i ever anticipated. and i'm so happy it did. i'm happy i posted it. innocent "i'm bored with nothing to do" writing has spawned a massive series with not just a following, but a community. i've made friends through this fanfic, adopted a bunch of children, and run a chaotic discord server. i'm so happy with how this has gone. 
> 
> so thank you.
> 
> thank you to everyone silently following along, thank you for every kudos, thank you for every comment, thank you for allowing this silly little chatfic have meaning in my life. thank you for taking my strange outlet and running with it, embracing it, and encouraging me. i wouldn't be here without you guys, and this is really bittersweet. i would love to continue this forever, but yknow, gotta end it somewhere.
> 
> with that said, just like irl, not everything ends with every last string tied in a neat bow. if i were to continue this:  
> -the teachers successfully sue the district and land zarkon in jail. lotor gets enough money in an ensuing lawsuit that allows him to attend that tech institute with acxa.  
> -krolia successfully tracks down the other fucker from the woods and lands him in jail.  
> -??? those are really the only plots i've thought of endings for (BUT KLANCE, you all scream. SOULMATES END UP TOGETHER IN EVERY REALITY, i shout back.)
> 
> anyway.
> 
> thank you all. i don't know what my next project is gonna be. i really don't. so of course i'm gonna be That Hoe and plug a bunch of things at this ending right here.
> 
> SO, IF YOU WANNA KEEP UP WITH ME:  
> -follow my [twitter](https://twitter.com/nerdyspaceace), [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/nerdyspaceace/), and [tumblr](http://nerdyspaceace.tumblr.com/)  
> -[join my voltron discord](https://discord.gg/5XEQTbZ)  
> -subscribe to me on this very website
> 
> i love you all. thank you, so much.


End file.
